The Cone

The Cone has received phenomenal media exposure, in part due to its incredibly distinctive design and also to its mammoth marketing with plugs on talk shows, rave reviews in high profile magazines and endorsements on talk radio.

I must admit, I bought into the hype too, telling everyone about a cleverly shaped toy that I was excitedly waiting to try out. After a failed attempt with one that wasn’t operational, with the build-up from the publicity I was ready to test its replacement for all it was worth.

Description/Materials

This Ikea-esque creation has a non-conventional contemporary design. It is shaped like an upside down tornado with a height of approximately 5 inches and a base diameter that’s a little over 7 inches. It is made of non-porous silicone, which is body friendly and phthalates free. What’s more, many women may be drawn to this little item because it comes in only one color, pink.

It is lightweight, a mere 1.1 pounds, but the weight significantly increases when batteries are inserted as it takes 3 C’s! It is non-phallic and has no animal representations or glitter adornments. Clean it according to how you would clean any silicone material but be very careful because the base does not seal tightly enough to keep out the water. Remember, only use water-based lubricant with this item.

The pyramid shaped packaging that it came in was fantastic and even included a colorful instruction manual that details the numerous positions you and your Cone can spend time enjoying.

How It Works

The Cone is ultra hands-free and meant for both solo or dual use as well as vaginal or anal penetration. The Cone’s 2 button control panel is very simple yet gives you a whopping 16 vibe patterns to choose from. It contains a 3 Volt motor that can really sock it to you in terms of intensity, speed and frequency. The Cone’s 3D virtual gallery allows you to view it at many angles and ‘try it’ out all of the vibe.

Here’s how to operate it; you turn it on or off by holding down the right button for 2 seconds. To advance through the program menu, you press the left button the number of times that would correspond to the program number. For example, press the left button 4 times for program 4. Finally, you press the right button once and it’ll jump right to program 16, which is known as the no holds barred Orgasm Mode, which is claimed to make your hair stand on end.

Critique

Since I had a bit of time spare before I got my replacement Cone in the mail, I thoroughly perused their website to get a sense of what I was waiting so patiently for. It had brightly colored animations and a 3D gallery and trendy guide that also demonstrated all of the different ways you could use the Cone. I really thought the Cone had everything going for it ... until I actually tried it.

Let me start with its functionality. Although I like sex toys with streamlined designs, I wasn’t a fan of the minimalist two button control. You end up doing way too much counting when you’re playing with your Cone; for example, if you want to go to pattern program 13, you have to press the button 13 times. If you miscount, forget about it as there is no indicator to tell you where you are in the sequence; you have to start all over. If you’re one of those people who like to alternate between programs, you’ll get annoyed rather quickly. On the other hand, there is the Orgasm shortcut for those of you who like to head straight for the big guns.

My other gripe has to do with its shape. Soft flexible silicone? Um, no. Not only was its shape awkward and uncomfortable to sit on, its material was stiff and inflexible. What was with all that hype about being able to stay on the Cone while you sitting around reading the paper!? I guess I imagined the Cone to be squishier, sort of like a bean bag chair version of a sex toy.

The website touts “outer stimulation” as its secret; in fact, it is proposed that it actually tightens the PC muscles with continued use. No matter what position I tried however (and try I did), the Cone just didn’t seem to cut it. I just couldn’t ‘get off’ while I on was on it! Because it is powerful, you could of course lay it against your clitoris in order to get stimulated, but I can certainly think of more pleasurable (and less expensive) ways to come. I can’t blame my lacklustre experience on me not being a rabbit girl either because I’m totally open to different shapes and sizes of sex toys!

One last thing: C batteries ... really!? When it comes to sex toys, I thought those were so obsolete. For that type of power requirement we’re in the age of plug-in rechargeable devices!

Final Thoughts

I really had higher expectations of the Cone. With all of the positive reviews, as well as major media attention, it would definitely suggest that the Cone was worth its weight in gold. Unfortunately, and at such a high price point, I wouldn’t recommend that you chance it. I rate it a 3.5/10.

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