Fellatio - Basics
Fellatio is oral sex performed on a man. It is a great way to give pleasure; regardless of whether it is for foreplay, after play, or the main event. Like all other sexual skills, they must be learned, so communication is highly recommended. Whether the communication is before, during, or after, it is essential to learn the art. Finding out what he likes will invariably go a long way towards performing mind-blowing oral sex.
Keep in mind, when you are performing oral sex, you are doing this for him. Sending negative vibes about not wanting to or how much of a chore it is will take away from his experience. If you act enthusiastic, chances are it will be over faster, and it will be your turn to receive. If you are really against performing fellatio, explain to your partner why you don’t, and don’t allow him to force you if you are uncomfortable.
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of sexual play; particularly in oral sex where a bad taste or smell will undoubtedly dampen enthusiasm on the part of the giver. A bath or shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. If you are uncomfortable with a particular smell that your partner may have, suggest taking a shower with you, because you’ve had a busy day and don’t feel clean. You don’t want to point out the smell (unless it is a very common occurrence and can be prevented), as that will only lead to anxieties and take away from the overall experience.
Finding an agreeable position for fellatio is usually not a difficult task. Both the man receiving fellatio and the person performing it need to be comfortable. For deep throating, it is wiser to choose a position where the angle of the penis and the angle of your throat are somewhat aligned. For a better look at positions for oral sex, have a look in our sexual position section.
Too often oral sex is initiated by sucking on the penis. To achieve a more powerful orgasm, it is better practice to start with some teasing. With the exception of a quickie, fellatio should be started with some well placed teasing. Start by kissing and licking around his penis, on the inner thighs, then on to his testicles, and then slowly up his shaft towards his glans (the head of his penis). Once you get there, use your tongue to tickle him around the glans, and especially on his frenulum, the split on the underside of his penis. At this point, he should be hard as a rock and super-sensitive to everything that you do. You can continue teasing if you like, but we don’t recommend teasing too long, as this can become frustrating for the receiver.
One common problem women performing fellatio make is using only their mouth to repeatedly stroke his penis. They continue doing this until either it works, or they get a sore jaw and neck. A good “blow job” should not be too repetitive, should include stroking using a hand and the exploration of his testicles, thighs and (if you and he like) the anal region. By mixing up your style, you allow your muscles to relax, you can avoid getting a sore neck and you can improve your performance.
How you mix it up should depend on what your partner’s likes. Although there is a lot to say about fellatio that can get the job done in a matter of minutes, it is the longer ones that usually result in more intense orgasms, and coincidently are remembered. (Click here to read about stroking techniques).
It is a good idea to keep an eye on his scrotum (his testicle “sack”), as it is usually a good indicator of how close he is to coming. As a guy gets closer to climax, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his testicles towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his testicles with a hand, tongue, or mouth.
Once you get the basics, and are comfortable and experienced with them, there are a lot of options to increase the pleasure. One option is using lubricants on his shaft. This will allow you to stroke faster without causing irritation. There are a wide variety of products that can be used,this includes: flavored lubricants, lubricants that heat up when blown on or rubbed, water based, oil based and many others. On this note, using whipped cream, spreads, and other food can also be incorporated to make the “blow job” more erotic.
Sex Toys can add more stimulation. Whether it is a regular vibrator, a vibrating cock ring, or an oral simulator, these toys can greatly intensify the stimulation. These days, there is virtually a sex toy for everything and everyone, so check out our toy store to find a product that is perfect for you.
If your man likes to experiment, we recommend stimulating his prostate gland with your finger or an anal toy to take his orgasms to a whole new world of pleasure. For more information on this, please refer to the anal play article.
Another more difficult to master skill is deep throating. In this, the performer takes the entire penis into the mouth and down the throat - hence the name. In many cases, the sensation is so intense that climax in men comes quickly. As enjoyable as this may be, it takes time to learn to control your gag reflex. You can train your gag reflex by trying to take as much of the penis as you can when performing fellatio. Your partner should restrain from any thrusting during this exercise! With time, you will be able to go deeper and deeper, until finally you’ll be able to take the whole thing.
Most men find it very erotic to have a partner swallow their semen, but if you really don’t feel comfortable with it, don’t do it. Options include: catching it in your mouth, then spitting it out; using a tissue to catch it; or, just letting it shoot and clean up the mess afterwards. To find out more about semen, we suggest reading our article on Male Orgasm & Ejaculation.
Many women stop performing fellatio right after their man ejaculates. Instead, you should continue to gently stimulate orally or with your hand for a minute or two longer. After a climax, the penis becomes much more sensitive, so try giving it to him a little longer. Be careful though, some men find this after-play too intense to handle.
Warnings and Suggestions
Very few men like the feeling of teeth on their penis. Teeth can cause discomfort, cuts, and scratches to the skin if you are not careful. This is easily avoided by tucking your lips around your teeth before you take the penis in your mouth.
The use of condoms is highly recommended in the practice of safer sex. If you are not sure of your partner’s sexual history, it is strongly advised that you use a condom while performing any sexual act. If you want something a little more interesting try using a flavored condom and by all means stay away from the lubricated variety (the lubricants used on condoms taste horrible). A good suggestion for anyone using a condom during fellatio is to buy a flavored lubricant to turn a normal latex condom into a tasty condom.
Advanced Fellatio Techniques
For more advanced fellatio techniques, please click here.