Masturbation frequency while dating

Q. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 18. We’ve been together for a year. Is it normal for him and all other guys to masturbate even though the female gives them sex?

A. It’s great that you asked this question because it’s a common concern, especially among young women. It is perfectly natural for both men and women to continue to masturbate, even though they are in a fully functional sexual relationship. Check out the Male Masturbation Guide to learn more. In the meantime, there are two important areas you need to give consideration to.

First, don’t compare masturbation with sex. You’re not inadequate because he continues to masturbate, nor should you feel like you have to ‘put out’ in order to keep up with him. Some peoples’ libidos are fulfilled by having sex; others find that sex increases it.

Secondly, men have been brought up with a positive association towards masturbation, whereas women have not had the same encouragement. What’s more, your boyfriend is at the peak age for masturbation, so his physical desire to get it on is theoretically the highest it’ll ever be in his life! For this reason alone, you don’t have to feel so bad that your sex drive doesn’t mirror his. It’s more satisfying for both parties when you engage in sex because you really want to.