Masturbation frequency while dating

Q. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 18. We’ve been together for a year. Is it normal for him and all other guys to masturbate even though the female gives them sex?

A. It’s great that you asked this question because it’s a common concern, especially among young women. It is perfectly natural for both men and women to continue to masturbate, even though they are in a fully functional sexual relationship. Check out the Male Masturbation Guide to learn more. In the meantime, there are two important areas you need to give consideration to.

First, don’t compare masturbation with sex. You’re not inadequate because he continues to masturbate, nor should you feel like you have to ‘put out’ in order to keep up with him. Some peoples’ libidos are fulfilled by having sex; others find that sex increases it.

Secondly, men have been brought up with a positive association towards masturbation, whereas women have not had the same encouragement. What’s more, your boyfriend is at the peak age for masturbation, so his physical desire to get it on is theoretically the highest it’ll ever be in his life! For this reason alone, you don’t have to feel so bad that your sex drive doesn’t mirror his. It’s more satisfying for both parties when you engage in sex because you really want to.

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Same problem

Submitted by Nekox6 on Thu, 01/07/2010 - 00:37.

I hear ya, I have the same problem with my boyfriend, he's 15, I'm 14 (we're 5 months apart) and he still masturbates eventhough we get to sexually pleasure eachother once in a while...I know its not very often that we get to so I try to understand (hell I've masturbated once or twice a week b4 my period wen I'm rly horny) Thats besides the point tho, we're very open with eachother and he has no problem whatsoever with me doing that every once in a blue moon...but me on the other hand, eventhough I try not to, I get really upset when he does it (which is y I rarely ever do it myself anymore...but him touching me feels much better) because it makes me feel like I don't do a good enough job for him and it rly bothers me. I don't wanna tell him to stop, but I have told him about it and he says thats not the reason at all and that it feels much better when I do it for him anyway. How can I get over being upset about this?

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its normal

Submitted by Caramel_Gal_Lov... on Mon, 01/04/2010 - 20:41.

It's very normal to masturbate even though you are in a relationship. You can even do it with eachother to show one another how you both like to be touched.