Keeping Sex Exciting
Written by Daniel Rose, author of the
Have you ever been in a relationship where the sex was amazing at first, but slowly became less and less exciting over time? I know I have, and let me tell you ... it’s not fun.
I remember one past girlfriend, in particular, who wanted to have sex with me every time we saw each other when we first starting dating. At first it was great, but as the months passed we started to have sex less and less often - until eventually, we almost never had sex. This was really frustrating for me, because I didn’t understand what I was doing wrong - and why she didn’t seem to be sexually attracted to me anymore.
I think we’ve all been here at one point or another. So why do women typically become less and less interested in sex as the relationship goes on? And more importantly, what can we do to make sex fresh and exciting again?
When the relationship first starts, sex seems fresh and exciting. Because you’re with a new partner, every time you’re having sex seems like a new adventure exploring each others’ bodies. But as time goes on, if you don’t do anything to proactively improve your sex life, it will start to be more and more boring. This is because it’s in our nature as human beings to fall into routines, or regular patterns of behavior. And anything routine or predictable is NOT exciting in the bedroom.
I mean, think about it; when you’re in a relationship, you probably have sex in the same place, most of the time. You probably initiate sex in the same way every time, and always give her the same kind of foreplay. You have intercourse in the standard sex positions you use every time, and climax in exactly the same way you’ve done for years.
And although this is natural human behavior, this is NOT what women fantasize about … which is why sex in relationships typically becomes less and less frequent and enjoyable over time. The problem is, most men don’t know how to introduce sexual variety into their relationships, so they never get to experience great sex in their relationship or marriage.
The Solution: Proactively Introduce Sexual Variety
Despite this, I actually think that sex in a long-term relationship, or marriage, can be many times BETTER than sex when you’re just casually dating. When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you develop a lot of sexual comfort and trust with your partner, a crucial ingredient to great sex! When a woman has the comfort and trust built by a long-term relationship, she will be open to exploring more exciting and adventurous sex acts with you ... things she would never be comfortable enough to do with someone she had just started dating.
Rather than waiting for something to stale out and become boring, intentionally mix things up BEFORE it becomes boring. Here are a few ways to keep up with variety:
- Start having more sex in different places, especially new locations
- Balance the Sex Initiation Process, have the more passive partner initiate sex more often.
- Mix-up the procedure; the amount of foreplay and the sex positions used.
- Vary the length of time - have quickies, marathons, and everything in between.
- Give her both clitoral and g-spot orgasms ... and different amounts of each.
- Introduce sex toys and other props, there are lots of great products out there.
The sooner you break your routines, the sooner your sex life will become increasingly exciting, more frequent, and more enjoyable for both of you!
-Daniel Rose
This editorial has been submitted to SexInfo101.com by Daniel Rose, author of the Sex God Method ()! For more advanced sexual tips and techniques for men, including video demonstrations of techniques, make sure to check out his !
this is going on
this is going on in my current relationship... at first we had sex all the time but now its hardly ever. i tried to bring it 2 her attention and she got very upset
Help Me Please!!!
Ive been dating my boyfriend for a little over 7 months, and at first our sex life was amazing! He always wanted to touch me and he always commented on how sexy i looked. But now if i try to be sexy he says "go cover up" or something along those lines.. I keep telling him that i want to try new things and that i miss how much we used to have sex... I know he loves me more than anything but now that he doesnt show it physically i dont know what to do... I dont feel sexy or wanted anymore an its driving me insane! Please give me any advice you can. thank you
No fake toys 4 me
I never use any plastic dildo or other type of sex toys. I prefer the real thing. I don't like finger f#c# either. Only tounge and dick 4me. No azz fuck either it hurt so much.
i agree
i have never done the ass fuckin thing and i don't think i ever will. lol my boyfriend really wants to try it but all my friends who have done it says that i shouldn't do it because it hurts too much. but i rather the real thing as well. ;) his dick feels so much better than anything else......damn now i'm all horny.....oh boyfriend!!! ;)
Never tried
I must be honest and say i never tried loosing the flame in bed with any of my girlfriends. But i saw this, and though "Hey, i dont wanna risk this with the best girl i've met" So i looked at all this and said to myself i dont wanna let that happend. Its been a while since i saw this, so now i'll tell you result. The first time i was with my girlfriend wasnt in a bed, it was outside in the summer, she enjoyed it as much as me because non of us actually never tried it outside like that. And once in a while we try new stuff, position, location, anything possible actually. And its still as amazing as it was when we startet! -Girls-, sex toys is totally welcome, if the guy thinks you girls isnt good enough its not really your problem, then they can take over and do the work instead ;). My opinion is "If more girls groan if better" just means it feels really good, and if the sex toy make it feel better, i get more happy. Thats what i want with sex, pleasuring the girl. And -Guys-, pimp it up as much as possible, not all at once, but slowly. Pimp it up with sex toys if you have too. Dont be selfish! :)
Toys
using a sex toy isn't that bad. My girlfriend and I use one pretty much 80% of the time we have sex. Actually it feel better with a toy then without (In my opinion). That way I can get her to orgasm first, and then enter her and keeping that orgasm further and further Am I not good enough for her? Maybe? But if your boyfriend ever wants to use a toy trust me, you will feel nothing but pleasure
I'm with butterflyy. I get
I'm with butterflyy. I get the same excuses & things being more hetic & no time. It really does make you feel bad & I dont know if I should tell him lets talk. Cause then he'll tell me I worry to much & its just cause of the things that changed & got hetic. Plus my bf is also my first experience. So is it wrong that I'm into doing it with him any chance I get?? Makes me feel crappy. Especially when he says that Im way more adventurous than any other girl from before but he doesnt ever really seem into it.:(... Please do an article for us women.
omg, its like you read my
omg, its like you read my mind. except its the other way around. HES the one that doesnt want to have sex anymore. well, not like, NO sex, but we definitely dont have sex as often as we used to. and every time we do, im always the one that initiates it. and 60% of the time he rolls over and says hes tired. he uses the "i worked all day im tired" excuse so many times that i've lost count. i've talked to him about us spicing things up, like with sex toys, porns, new positions, etc. and he said hed like to try them, but never has. its always the same routine. i feel like he's losing interest in me sexually. its really more depressing than most may think ): i feel like im at a dead end, ya know? idk what to do.
I'm with u 2
I'm on with the 2 butters!! I get the same crap fron my husband. plus we have 2 kids. its so hard. and he never ever takes advantage of the time we have when we're alone OR when the kids r alseep. I hate it so much. I wanan keep the flame alive but its hard when its dying. :(
RE: anal sex
zfoulk7:
if your wife has had bad experiences in the past, youre going to have to show her you can be gentle and not hurt her, and that anal can be pleasurable to her as well.
go very slowly, use lube, and possibly something small to get her warmed up. fingers in a rubber glove or condom work well for this.
if she doesn't like the feeling after it stops hurting, respect it. feeling like you have to poop all the time isnt something everyone likes.
anal sex
sum one give me advice ok me and my wife has had anal sex before but she wont want to do it again cuz it hurts to bad wat can i do to make it not hurt as bad
Advice
me and my husband have been married for 5 years and it's just now starting to be enjoyable " anal" , the one thing is that she might not like it, if she has hemorrhoids, but she might be too embarrassed to tell you. another thing you can try is any type of tingling lube "the more the better" for a more pleasurable insertion for her. but in till she gets used to you inside her then go really slow until she gives to go ahead, b/c once your out she might not let you back in. but you can tell her that if she dose get used to it then she will possibly have many, many organisms in a row 3-5 back to back which is amazing.
sex toys in bed with a man
i dont like to have a sex toy when im having sex with a guy cause i feel bad even tho i know im not using it more i still feel like im using the sex toy more than im using his yummy cock! thats why i dont like sex toys in bed with a man! but with a woman watch out they fly out
its the other way around
its the other way around with me and my boyfriend lol. i wanna try sex toys, and he says "well then i'll feel like im not good enough for you." so idk what to do lol.
my boyfriend says the same
my boyfriend says the same thing! but i misunderstood him and he meant sex toys as a replacement for his penis, which meant we could try other things :). recently we bought a clit stimulator which is fantastic :) but its never enough, i still always need some of him as well.
my advice would be ask him about it and talk to him about the wide range of things u can buy now, im sure there is something u could both agree on, that would be fun for both of u :)