masturbation guide for her

Female Masturbation

Masturbation gives women the opportunity to explore their body while at the same time giving them a high degree of sexual freedom. It allows them the opportunity to experience sexual pleasure without relying on a partner, and to release sexual tension when they feel the need to.

Masturbation can be a very empowering learning tool for women - it teaches them about their bodies, and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Many normal and healthy women only experience Orgasm while masturbating, or find it is their most intense type of orgasm. Masturbation is the first and most important sexual skill a woman should learn, as it holds the key to enjoying other forms of sexual activity. Ideally, this skill is commenced early in life (preferably prior to the age of five), but far too often it is not learned until a woman is in her late teens or early twenties. This stems from the incorrect notion that children are entirely devoid of sexuality and that they must be protected from its 'evils'. Children, especially infants, are incredibly curious individuals who will undoubtedly discover masturbation on their own. A parent, if they discover their child masturbating, should not chastise them for it, but rather, tell them about appropriate private and public behaviour.

However, not all women have negative views of masturbation, nor indeed do all women feel the need to masturbate. The point is that women are increasingly developing more positive attitudes towards masturbation and the pleasure it can bring them. If given the opportunity, women will often discuss their masturbation habits with pride, without the least amount of guilt.

Common Misconceptions

In spite of the sexual revolution, female masturbation is still somewhat taboo. Even though popular songs, movies and television make mention of female masturbation, it is not a common topic of discussion. People are more likely to make mention of Male Masturbation than female. It is a given that males masturbate, but for females, even though it might be commonly accepted that they do it, they are not expected to. If a woman does not know that her peers masturbate and that they presume that she does, she is less likely to do it ... or if she does, she feels guilty for doing so. Since many women do not generally talk about it, it is often presumed that they do not masturbate.

Another common misconception of women is that if they have a partner, they should not feel the need to masturbate. Or if they are single, that masturbating would reinforce their single status; in other words, if they were not single, they would not have to masturbate. So instead of masturbating, some go in search of a partner. This is not the best solution and typically results in unfulfilled desires.

Since masturbation is seen as a "solo" activity, some women with partners do not feel it is appropriate for them to masturbate. If they have a partner, it is believed that their sexual activities with them should fulfil all their sexual needs. While a nice ideal, in real life a lot of women's sexual needs are not met fully by their partner, no matter how good and loving a partner they have. For women with partners, it is important that they understand that it is perfectly healthy and normal for them to masturbate, and they should do so without feeling guilty. For many women the frequency with which they masturbate should not change when they go from being single to having a sexual partner. Some women may find they masturbate even more when they have a partner, as having a partner makes them feel more sexual, and increases their desire for sex and sexual pleasure.

While it is certainly untrue, the majority of people believe that women are less sexual than men. We are led to believe that women think about sex and desire sex much less. Society creates outcasts of women who are openly sexual. This results in women believing they should not have strong sexual feelings and desires. Unfortunately, many women are ashamed to admit they become ‘horny’. This results in women introverting and denying their own sexual feelings and desires. While a woman's desire for sex may change with time as the result of hormonal influences, they are overall just as sexual as men. If a woman accepts that she is equally as sexual as a man, she is more likely to feel comfortable with her desire to masturbate.

Why Masturbate?

The main reason a woman should masturbate is because it feels good. Women with strong sex drives may masturbate frequently, but a woman should not forgo masturbating just because she does not have a strong sex drive. Even if she has no desire for partner sex, she should still enjoy giving herself pleasure. The fact that pre-adolescent girls masturbate proves that hormonally induced sex drives are not the only reason to masturbate; young girls do it for no other reason than it feels good. There is nothing wrong with a woman giving herself pleasure on a daily basis, or as often as she desires. For masturbation to be pleasurable it does not have to end in orgasm. Masturbation may involve nothing more than placing your hands against your vulva when you go to sleep at night, simply because it feels good.

There are times in all relationships when a partner is not available for sex when you desire it, even when they sleep beside you. Couples frequently have different levels of sex drive, and expectations regarding physical intimacy. This is why women frequently masturbate secretively in the shower, or masturbate silently in the early morning hours while their sleeping partner lies beside them. Masturbating when you have a partner is normal and a woman should not feel ashamed for doing so. Most women have probably done it at some point in their relationship. It is often a necessity. Forgoing masturbation and sexual pleasure when you need it simply because you have a partner does harm to you and your relationship, because you will slowly begin to blame them for your sexual frustration. As your sexual frustration grows, so does your frustration with the relationship.

If a woman does not know how to sexually satisfy herself, then how can she expect her partner to know? Learning about her own body, how it responds and then teaching this to her partner is a great way to ensure that she gets the most out of her whole sexual experience. Don’t be shy ladies … share that knowledge and you will never regret it!

Masturbation Techniques

Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. Common methods are, massaging of the clitoris with hands and fingers, rubbing the vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals and furniture, etc. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the masturbation practices of women, but vaginal penetration during masturbation is by no means unusual or uncommon. Some women employ anal and/or nipple stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal stimulation.

It is important to understand that there is no "correct" or "right" way to masturbate. Some women feel they should be able to masturbate to orgasm using a different or more correct method because they hear other women do it that way. It is important to keep in mind that each woman's anatomy is slightly different and her psychological makeup is quite different. This results in every woman masturbating differently, even if they use the same basic technique. While some women can masturbate to orgasm employing several different techniques, others find they can reach orgasm only when they use the same method each time. There is nothing wrong with this. Due to conditioning and the differences in women's bodies, learning new techniques for some can be difficult. If you are orgasmic with your current masturbation technique, feel free to experiment, but do not feel you have to reach orgasm in other ways. Remember, masturbation is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, no matter how you do it.

Here are some tips for the beginner - or anyone looking to improve their repertoire:

    The Beginner

    When you have relaxed your body lie on a bed, or sit in a comfortable chair, and explore your nude or semi-nude body. Run your fingers and hands across your body. Explore your breasts and play with your nipples; caress your legs and thighs. Cup your vulva in your hand and gently rub in small circles. Stimulate your body, but do not try to reach orgasm. Make yourself feel good. If you feel yourself get tense, stop what you are doing, breath deeply and relax. Do this exercise as often as possible, but for no longer than 20 minutes per session. Do not tire or stress yourself out. The point of this exercise is to make you feel good while staying relaxed, not to have an orgasm. You want to feel a little aroused, but at peace - not compelled to go further.

    After you become comfortable exploring and touching your body you will want to try more direct means of stimulating your vulva. Slip your fingers between the folds of your vulva and massage and play with your inner labia, perhaps pulling on them lightly or firmly. Slip your fingers up to the top of your vulva and place them on top of your clitoris. Gently move your fingers up and down, around, and perhaps even wildly jiggle them. Make the loose tissue covering your clitoris slide across the body and glans of your clitoris. If you feel a need to be filled, insert a finger or two into your vagina. You want to make yourself feel really good, but you do not want to intentionally try to have an orgasm. If an orgasm occurs, you want it to be a total surprise. If you are thinking about having an orgasm, you need to slow down, relax, and redirect your thoughts. You do not want your brain to know you are about to have an orgasm.

    You may not experience orgasm the first few times, so do not try to. Just enjoy the pleasures of touching yourself. If you get to a point where you suddenly find your body is super-tense, you are trying too hard. Try to enjoy yourself, not orgasm. You want to surprise yourself with an orgasm. If you feel yourself on the verge of orgasm, but cannot get there, you are probably trying too hard; you cannot force your body to have an orgasm. The more you concentrate on trying to have an orgasm, the less likely you are to have one.

    Clitoral Stimulation

    Using your hands and fingers, stimulate (rub, stroke, pinch, etc) the clitoris with one or more fingers or the palm of your hand. Some find direct contact with the clitoris too intense, and prefer stimulation near or around the clitoris. Others prefer to have a layer of clothing or some other fabric between the hand and clitoris. Try it both ways and see what works best for you.

    G-Spot Stimulation

    Inserting a vibrator or dildo into the vagina can help locate and stimulate your G-spot and offers a feeling of fullness in the vagina. You can locate your G-spot with your fingers, but it's difficult to provide adequate stimulation through manual masturbation. Women who enjoy stimulation of the G-spot usually employ sexual toys to make it easier and more enjoyable.


    Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation, though many women also use them for vaginal or anal stimulation. They also may be combined with other toys and used in any number of positions. A good, discrete alternative to a vibrator for clitoral or anal stimulation is a massage wand. However, massage wands cannot be used for vaginal or anal penetration. To check out a wide selection of sex toys, please see our Sex Toy Reviews.

    Common, Everyday Objects

    Rub your clitoris against any soft, non-abrasive object (e.g., a pillow, the corner of a couch, etc.) and see if you enjoy the stimulation it provides.


    A detachable shower-head can be quite scintillating for just about any woman. The best shower available is the ones with the versatile control that switches the water from a steady stream to a pulsating jet spray. In hot tubs, avoid sending strong streams of water into the vagina; in extreme cases this can cause fatal air embolism!

    Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex

    Try Play O ... it is an unscented gel to be applied to the cllitoris and surrounding area. It uses a combination of ingredients designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring intense orgasms. We rated it a 8.5/10! Click here to check out our detailed review.


In closing, there is no right way to masturbate and there is no specific number of times you should do it per week. As long as you feel comfortable with the frequency at which you masturbate and the pleasure it provides you, then keep on doing it. Masturbation is normal and should be pleasurable, so find out what you like the best and then show your partner, if you have one, how they can help please you properly.

I've never orgasmed befre...

I've never orgasmed befre... not through 'intercourse' or through masturbation... what do other women find works for them??

Qandisa's picture
Ready!set!let's roll!!

I'm lookin for new ways to spice up my solo life, any tips? (especially on multiple orgasms). Thanks

helpp !!

Hi im 14 and have trouble orgasming and masterbating. I have fingered myself but I doesn't five me the pleasure im looking for, im really stuck please help

I started masterbating around

I started masterbating around 14 or 15 it doesn't always feel good right when you start so just keep trying and move slowly, honestly there's no need to rush it, if you rush you won't feel the pleasure. And sometimes it takes women a little longer to discover what we like and what gives us pleasure. But it is VERY important to masterbate before you even think about having a sexual partner. You need to know what feels good for you and what you are comfortable with. In my experience its better to wait and know what you like than have sex too young and have a bad experience.

I can help

I'm a 14 y o boy and a girl told me that female masturbation can start to give you orgasms from between 12 and 16 so it might take a while for you.


I try to masturbate but every time I do it I keep locking up


So I've never masturbated before. I can watch porn with no problems but when I try to do it I tend to just lock up. I tried stimulating my clitorus, but that is a hit/miss. I'm afraid of fingering myself because tampons hurt. Anyone out there who can help/give me some tips to get pass this dilemma?



I like fingering and eating a girl out but i like hairy pussy

I know this sounds strange but
i like to have a girl who is
hairy down there, not talking
about a jungle but little bush
is sexy, i think i find it makes
me horny and turned on the most
i've jacked off to many porn videos
to the real videos, i managed to find
some good videos, i liked to be called
daddy, roleplay, dirty talk but i like
something serious called real love, i'm
not falling to be used as a online sex toy

lil lexi 1991
lil lexi 1991's picture

as ive grown more to sex iv noticed when i do play its ok just it always end up bein borin an not as good as wen i have sex with the bf an most times i dnt enjoy it cuz i touch things inside that dont feel that good an cuz i hav long nails i jab meself lol, just feel like givin up cuz i dnt think ill ever get it right?

horny ;)

getting really horny from this...someone message me and help me masturbate? ;)

Ways For Girls And Partners To Masturbate

I'm a male who wanted to pass on info
i hear the Squirting Palm Job Technique
has helped females to learn to have a great
orgasm i don't know how many of you know
about this but i wanted to pass this on
also guys can use this on their female
partners or girls can use it on their
partners you want know more just
message me i'm a older guy just turned
46 yesterday thank you:)

reaching orgasm

Like many of the girls responding here, I cannot reach orgasm either unless I have my legs squeezed tightly together and doing what feels like a pushing down feeling. I used to have to put the side of my hand against my vulva, didn't like touching my clit directly, too much stimulation. But now I do not need to put my hand down there at all, I can cum just squeezing my thighs together usually while watching internet porn. I have never been able to cum while having sex with my husband which I've come to accept after a lot of years of marriage, but now I want much more. I want to masturbate in front of him, but am kind of embarrassed to.

To comment on the girls cumming in porn: I have no idea how these girls can cum having their legs spread far apart like that, unless I'm just that strange and not like most females.


I think very few people are like this. I am like this. I cannot spread my legs apart and cum. It does nothing. I need to tighten my thighs to cum. I commented on someone name ChairRider who also does this. So far, you and her are the only people I know who also do this. I also press against the side of my vulva or press against chair or hard surfaces. I guess we are weird haha

WhatI do.....

I place a small ball on my clitoris with my undies on and I sit there and rub I walk with it rubbing and pressing on my vag I stay horny so my ball keeps me going good all day

Can't stop
I have recently become

I have recently become addicted to porn and masturbating,I feel my vagina get wet when I watch porn but I want to know how masturbate properly and now how to get an orgasm,I am only 11,please help?

Keygan Silver
Keygan Silver's picture
Thoe I'm a bit late, beeing

Thoe I'm a bit late, beeing addicted to masturbation (aka: Self satisfaction) is not wrong! Thoe watching porn at such age is a bit unconvesional! There are plenty of ways for a woman to masturbate, therefor trying a couple of them and finding the one you preffer the most would be ideal! If you want to talk a bout it a bit more send me a private message!


looking to talk about masturbation

I am 36/M, I would like to know if any ladies would like to discuss masturbating with me privately? Please send me a message if you are interested.

pinkmedeep's picture
I would love to talk about...

Finger in ass cucumber in pussy and juices are dripping....m......mmm....

sex502's picture
i am here

i am here


sorry for my bad spelling i was typing this out fast and i didnt check my spelling

i masturbate

so im 11 and ive masturbated for awhile first i found out about it in the shower i used the shower head on jets and put it "down there" and i hit this spot (my clit i belive)and then about 3 monthes ago i started to rub my clit first i go slow then i rubbed faster and fatser until my hand would auto makicly remove itselfe from down there and i felt like i would eplode if i rubbed any more but then a little bit ago i used the handle of my brush as a dildo it felt really really good and i think i cummed cuz there was white liquid on the brush and i was very wet down there but i love to masturbate i told my bf i do it but i think he thinks its weird and i dont know if he does it but hes told me that i make him erect XD plz help me and give me more ideas of what i can do this page has helped me alot i only signed up so i could say this thnx for everyone that can help me ttyl

Thinking about masturbating

Thinking about masturbating for my fiance
What do you guys think? Any techniques that are really hot?

So, one time my fiance was at

So, one time my fiance was at work, and I was really horny. So I grabbed an empty cider bottle, washed it out really good, and went into my room.
It works really good as a teaser for your clit and hole.

Another time, since clitoral and hole stimulation is what gets me the best, I grabbed a plastic hangar.
I used a bottom corner.
if you get it wet, lay it against your clit and have the corner on your hole, it feels amazing.
That's the closest I've gone to climaxing, but I had to stop because my arm hurt.
Any tips to get me there?

Masturbation Tips For Girls

Okay So, This Might Sound Kinda Weird. But What I Like To Do Is Take A Blanket, Wad A Piece Of It Up Shaped Like A Cock, Stick It There , And Take The Rest Of The Blanket And Stick It Under My Pussy With My Legs Spread And Then Go Watch A Little Bit Of Good Porn Like On And Omg. I Had And Orgy. And Every Other Time I Tried It It Worked. This May Be One Of My Quirky Little Things That Please Me But Hey, It's Worth A Shot. I'd Also Like To Try Some Other Things, Any Tips ? Thanks.


Im 15 and have been masterbating for ages now but i only rub when I do it and i feel like I want to do more stuff like put fingers inside but i dont know what it will feel like and i dont want it to hurt. Are there any ways to get more pleasure without fingers inside and without toys?

which one do you like more?

I'm asking to females..
While masturbating do you like rubbing clit or inserting?
(im a female)

What are some ways that you can masturbate?

What other ways can you masturbate other than pillows, porn, and fingers? I've been really in the mood lately. I can't get a vibrator or anything like that because my parents would find out... I'm 16

Or what household things

Or what household things could I use?

vibrator: those mini portable

vibrator: those mini portable fans ($1), iPhone App iBrate
dildo: lint-roller handles (many sizes, about $1-3)
lube: baby oil, lotion (careful about the warnings)

Congised :/

I dont know if im bi or straight or what. I thaught I liked boys but I had a sleepover with my friend and we started masterbating and I let her see my pussy and it turned me on so much now I cant stop thinking about her. Whats going on?

Maybe some help

Well, I'll start by saying that there is nothing wrong with being straight or bi. Now to answer your question. If you're physically attracted to a girl, it doesn't really mean you're bi. But, if you are also emotionally attracted to another girl, then you could be bi. Hope that makes some sense.

Need sum visual stimulation

So I'm 36 yr woman. I'm apart from my man for a lil bit and I have a strong sex drive. I know I need to masturbate no prob but I feel I need sum new visual stimulation. We can't video chat for awhile. Is there any good porn for women? I crave watching sexy men especially tattooed. Plz n thank u for any advice! :-)

All the time

I am 30 and have been masterbating for years but lately I want to do it every time I get a chance. I have a lot of sex with my husband but lately I want sex plus the masterbation. I have never done it in front of him but now I do. What has caused this increase all of a sudden?

30's n horny

I totally understand. I'm 36 and same thing happened to me when I turned 30. I am now with a 26 yr old n he can keep up. But for advice I say learn to explore n enjoy your own body. Get comfortable in it. I sometimes masturbate 3 times a day at times (when I was single).

Does it really matter? Run

Does it really matter? Run with it and explore and expand your sexuality with and without him. Enjoy the thrill of exploration!

Yonta 01
hey so I am a 23 year old

hey so I am a 23 year old virgin who wants to try a dildo for the first time. I have had orgasms in the past with a bullet vibrator but not much else. I just want some tips on what to do first to get myself ready for it and any toy recommendations. Thanks.

Dont waste your money on

Dont waste your money on expensive toys is my first recomendation. You will find that common objects around the house will give you same or better results!

As far as preping for insertion, start with small objects or use fingers is the obvious answer. Start smal and gradually increase size if using objects. If using fingers, start with one and add. Eventually, you will be ready for the Big Kahuna!


I'm 21 and I am a sexual beast, I devour men and I can't find someone who has as much energy as I do. I am very ladylike everywhere besides during intercourse so I feel like some lovers respect me to much when I just want to be devoured. So lately I have been honest with my partner and have told him to "screw me" Or will say something around that nature when I am feeling the need, which is quite often and I feel like I am intimidating him. So I have been masturbating more often and cannot shake the disappointing feeling I feel from not having my sexual desires met. What can I do to increase the passion in my masturbation but also in my sex life. How do I find a new partner who matches me?

Open your mind and explore.

Open your mind and explore.


Hi I'm 15 and I find myself masturbating every night now. I can't get myself to cum. I feel like I'm bout too but I can't...and I get wet and drip but never me please...

you need to really focus on

you need to really focus on something dirty. wht turns you on> how do u play with yourself? You need a rabbit or a strong toy to make u squirt. not all girls can aquirt

I love when she masturbates for me

I love when she masturbates for me, she gives me her fingers to suck on when she takes them out of her wet pussy and after she has comes I lick her good. I just adore pussy juices

Im 18 years old and i love

Im 18 years old and i love masturbating. Ive been doing it since i was 15, but now things are getting kind of boring. I have no way of buying toys since i live with my parents and i wouldnt want one of my sister to accidentally find it lol. But is are their any thing i should try to get an amazing orgasm.?

I dont know what your level

I dont know what your level of curiosity or sense of adventure is sexually, but try using objects you find around the house. Take a look around where you are right now and I bet there are at least a half dozen things you could use on yourself for stimulation. Myself and my wife and FWBs are not big fans of store bought toys or toys in general, but objects just lying around us are fantastic for those spontaneous moments we have.

im a 23 year old girl, and i

im a 23 year old girl, and i love to masturbate and have even sexual with both males and females and loved both equally! reading all these comments really turns me on, and if anyone wants to chat, feel free to send me a message ;)

shaayz's picture
i like it alot,,

i like it lot ,, when girl cry n scream at climax time,, that dont stop or i will kill u ,, did this alot for my Girl friend,,, love it ,,

love it

I love to masturbate my girl with both hands or hand and mouth. I also love when she masturbates her self in front of me and after she comes i suck on her juices and put my tongue inside her pink hole. sexy!!!

hi i'm 16 and i usually was a

hi i'm 16 and i usually was a long time masturbater but recently i've been losing the excitement in wanking and i don't why? if its cuz i need to try something new idk,but i need advice or help with it.

Is it weird that I don't like

Is it weird that I don't like masturbating? I only like when my fiance touches me