His First Time
Most men are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sexual intercourse. Will I enjoy it? Will I satisfy her? Is she the right one? Will I be able to get it up? These are all questions that many men think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex may not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most men agree that the first time is often fast and very clumsy.
Being Ready
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many men often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it and they are ashamed of being virgins. This should not be your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is she or anyone else pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the gal you are with really cares for you enough, she will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it.
Tips
Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how both your bodies work, as well as having played together, will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with it.
Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will respect your wishes.
If you have erection difficulties, or ejaculate prematurely - something that often happens the first few times - stay positive. Don’t stress it, since stressing it will only cause it to happen again and again. Try to relax. If your erection comes back, it does, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can try later that day, the next day, next week, or whenever you want, so don’t get yourself down. If you have chosen a good partner, she will understand this and try to help you out with some manual or oral stimulation.
Just like men sometimes have erection problems from anxiety, women may have trouble getting wet (known as Excessive Dryness). Be patient and do everything that you would expect her to do if you had the male version of the problem. The problem can be solved to some degree using a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly. You can find it and many other lubricants in our online store.
Be sure you are both open enough to talk about the experience afterwards, even if not right away. Whether it was as hot as a Spanish soap opera, or as embarrassing as a skit from American Pie, be sure to talk about it. If you can’t talk afterwards, then you are simply not ready to move to this level. Communication is the key!
The most important thing you need to know is to enjoy safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect your partner from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Although condoms may not always be that pleasant, they are much better then contracting something like genital warts. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
We shouldn’t have to say this, but we will mention it anyway. Do not go bragging to others about what happened. Sex is something you share with your partner, and there will usually be privacy expectations. It can be a major event in your life, one that you’d love to share with a friend or two, but find out what your partner’s wishes are first, and respect them.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember that the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
DO NOT BE DRUNK YOUR FIRST TIME! you will regret it an it'll probably turn her off! and it depends on the girl if she likes body hair or not, personally, i hate it an i make my b/f shave his chest and other parts :-)
I am 18 and a virgin and have not had sex and am going off to school next year and was wondering if anyone had any tips and what are the best condoms to use and thing.
Dude, use trojans. They are reliable, cheap, and very common. Try some of these...
- USE THE FUCKING CONDOM! Strepcoccus hurts like a bitch! Thank god for antibiodics
- Don't worry if you were bad or good, it's your first time
-Watch porn, you get a feel of what's what and what's where
That's all i got to say, how you get to home base is another story
i decided i don't like you, but i don't know why. . . .
Hi, I have a quick question and although I'm not sure where it should be posted I'll try here. After you've had sex, where do you put the condom? Now I'm talking directly after. Because most women enjoy afterplay, it feels wrong to run off to find a trash can for it but leaving it on feels just as bad.. So I'm just wondering what you other guys are doing in this situation or if a girl can shed some light on what she thinks should be done. I mean you can just leave it on drawer or something next to you, but that feels strange too since you might fall asleep or forget about it, and finding it there the following morning wouldn't be so pleasant either.
Thanks in advance
/J
I say it depends on where you do it. If you have sex on the bed, then I would try to think ahead and put a trash can right next to the bed so you can pull it off and toss it from the bed then roll back to her arms...ect...XD anyway yeah, just my oppinion.
If you really had her good she might be a lil tired so thats the chance you can put it in the trash. Then when you come back just take her in your arms and then do the talking. I dont feel its rude cuh I would know how he would feel with it just on lol. Kinda silly. So just do that. It should hurt her, personally not me
if u fuck a girl and give her an orgasm her body releases estrogen which is a stimulant which acctually keeps her hyped up while when a guy gets an orgasm he releases a depressant which slows down the body and makes you tired
I have 24 years and I didn't sex yet. What you recomende me, because I am a litle old for beginer?
Thanks for help
Now i am 24 yrs. i have tried sex for first time with my girl friend. on that time first she started blow job with her mouth. my penis get harder very quickly but for just 2 mins i got cummed out in her mouth. then after she tried to make my pennis up. but it didnt happend. what i have to do for this.... i usual dont do handpump. is its a reason for early ejaculation. pls suggest me some steps to get experince in sex.
thanks in advance.........
It's called the "male refractory period." After orgasm, it takes at least 20 minutes (or some very extreme stimulation, either mental or physical) for a guy to get his hard on back. There's nothing inherently wrong with your penis (unless you've tried sex since and still can't get it up), you just need to wait or focus on her for a while as you recover from your orgasm.
Sometimes, women can get a man back to full erection just by giving (or in your case, continuing) a blowjob.
Just like this artical says...Relax.
Don't worry about getting her off, don't worry about if she's going to enjoy it, don't worry about going for 45 minutes your first time, and don't be apprehensive about your body.. If she's naked in front of you, she already likes you... So not looking like a underwear model is fine.. Women are more attracted to who you are, than what you look like anyways.
One of the biggest ones...if you experience some erectile disfunctions your first couple times dont worry about it. If you can masterbate to an orgasm your a perfectly normal guy... So if your soo nervous that your d*** suddenly doesn't want to co-operate when it should.. Don't worry about it. some 70% of Erectile Disfunctions (E.D.) are mental.. So instead of worry about performing up to some standard set by a pornstar you watched once, just focus on your girl and enjoy it. It takes most guys several attempts at sex until they start to relax completly and stabalize..
Personally I experienced some E.D. my first 5 or so attempts at sex.. At first it crushed my self-confidence, but my amazing GF was supportive and always looked at the bright side of it and never judged me. That helped me get over it.. She helped me relax, and after that initial period I went from not getting an erection to ejaculating in less than 5 minutes... My GF was still supportive and after 3 attempts with getting off too quick, everything went to normal... Now we have an amazing sex life..
Moral of the story is this... Relax, love the person your with, make sure that person loves you, and get as comfortable as possible & get rid of all distractions.. If you have no idea what to do, watch porn on your own to figure out the basics. But keep in mind that PORN IS NOT REAL SEX!!!! You don't need a 7-9 inch penis, and not every girl looks like a model... sex without the feelings involved is pretty empty.
in the start bit u say how "don't worry if she's going to enjoy it". well if it's her first time to, don't you think a little consideration should be shown as the first isn't the most comfortable.
ok. i need advice. me and my gf have recently gotten sexually active. long story short, we have our clothes off and were discussing positions, kuz of my first time. and we tried missionary, and i couldnt get it in, so the more i couldnt, the more i got less hard. so she tried to get on top and she couldnt get it in. i think its because i was either too big, or she wasnt wet enough. and i took all the pre-sex rituals(oral sex and getting her wet. its like i couldnt find the hole(that and it was dark under the covers so i couldnt see what i was doing. someone tell me if i just answered my own question, or if im missing something. PLEASE
Sweettooth665-
If you can't get it in it would have to be from the following reasons..
a) she's not wet enough
b) you can't find 'the hole'
c) your penis isn't 'wet' (i'll explain)
Foreplay is odviously the way to get your girl aroused & wet... Even if your hard as a rock its not going to mean anything if she's bone-dry... Perform oral, finger her a bit, kiss parts of her other than her face/lips... whatever turns her on.. But ALWAYS start with a passionate kiss.. From there you can do whatever. The entrance to her vagina is actually towards the very bottom of her clit, that may be why you can't find it. Aim a bit low i suppose, but be careful... another inch below that is her butt-hole.. So don't put it there unless she tells you to.. Also make sure your somewhat lubricated.. Penetration with a completly dry penis isn't as smooth as a wet one.. Usually My GF & i go straight from Oral sex to vaginal sex... Spit a bit into your hand and rub it on (just like you would masterbate on your own) right before penetration... Also until you get a feel for where the hole is at, i recommend dimly lit rooms.. Not under the covers.
oh my gosh.. in every relationship i have been in, i guess i picked the freaks... but they loved giving me oral sex.. but now.. im soooo frustrated because my current boyfriend has never tried it and simply doesnt want to.. now.. im bi..not bi curious, or confused, i like both sexes.. and im getting frustrated because head is the one thing i strive for during sex.. i love it.. and if im doing it to him.. what the hell do i have to do to convince him that its not that bad.. hell he touches me and i lick his fingers.. then he kisses me.. SAME THING.. what do i do??? any advice?????
well, be patient with him, and talk to him about it, and lay the shit down. if hes just afaid of the taste of you being wet, tell him the truth, if hes afraid of hair or something else, tell him the truth. find out what makes him squeamish about vaginas, or yours in particular
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a while and weve tried having sex twice and both times we couldn't get it in. i dont understand why though because hes fingered me plenty and i should be loose enough for sex. what could we be doing wrong?
here are some things that might be going down...
are you BOTH wet enough? are the lights off or are you under the covers? can he plainy see where your 'hole' is? if you are making sure all these things are taken care of, he might be too big. see if he can guide himself in while his index is still inside you...
respectfully,
Lanay Campbell
Once your both really turned on (you: wet, Him: hard as a rock) lube his penis a bit with spit or w/e and guide him in yourself. This is assuming you know where your own vaginal opening is of course..
Well, I'm not an official sexual therapist, nor an official sexologist, but I might have a few ideas and tips for you. I've been studying sexology for a year now. You say he fingered you plenty of times. This should have made your vagina ready for a penis. My guess is, you might have vaginismus. This is when the vaginal muscles and the labias fasten spasmodically. I can't tell for sure though if this is your problem. Sometimes, actually, quite often, psychological inhibitions are the reasons for this. Do you enjoy everything else he does? Were you raised against sexuality? Were you raised in the belief that sexuality and female masturbation are taboos? Have you ever had any traumatic experience with your vagina? Do you really love your partner? Do you trust him fully? Are you really ready for vaginal intercourse? Don't you have any inhibitions, small fears about it? Do you use reliable protection? Aren't you afraid of contracting a disease or getting pregnant? I have to note again, that although my sexual knowledge is higher than the general, I can't substitute an official, qualified sexual therapist. Unfortunately, this site doesn't write about vaginismus, so I suggest you google it, or look after it in a book. Ask yourself the questions I wrote. If you have any problem with any of them, try to solve it. Use more protection at a time to be extra-safe and sure, create a better mood for the big event, practice more with finger/dildo, talk with your partner about fears you might have, etc. I must say again, that though I1m very interested in the topic and I look after things, I'm not a qualified sexual therapist! If your problem won't go away, don't hesitate to seek qualified help! And most importantly, include your partner in resolving this problem. Sexual disfunctions affect both partners, and in many cases, it even brings them closer together.
Best wishes,
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