Most men are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sexual intercourse. Will I enjoy it? Will I satisfy her? Is she the right one? Will I be able to get it up? These are all questions that many men think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex may not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most men agree that the first time is often fast and very clumsy.
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many men often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it and they are ashamed of being virgins. This should not be your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is she or anyone else pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the gal you are with really cares for you enough, she will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it.
Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how both your bodies work, as well as having played together, will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with it.
Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will respect your wishes.
If you have erection difficulties, or ejaculate prematurely - something that often happens the first few times - stay positive. Don’t stress it, since stressing it will only cause it to happen again and again. Try to relax. If your erection comes back, it does, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can try later that day, the next day, next week, or whenever you want, so don’t get yourself down. If you have chosen a good partner, she will understand this and try to help you out with some manual or oral stimulation.
Just like men sometimes have erection problems from anxiety, women may have trouble getting wet (known as Excessive Dryness). Be patient and do everything that you would expect her to do if you had the male version of the problem. The problem can be solved to some degree using a water-based lubricant like K-Y Jelly. You can find it and many other lubricants in our online store.
Be sure you are both open enough to talk about the experience afterwards, even if not right away. Whether it was as hot as a Spanish soap opera, or as embarrassing as a skit from American Pie, be sure to talk about it. If you can’t talk afterwards, then you are simply not ready to move to this level. Communication is the key!
The most important thing you need to know is to enjoy safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect your partner from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Although condoms may not always be that pleasant, they are much better then contracting something like genital warts. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
We shouldn’t have to say this, but we will mention it anyway. Do not go bragging to others about what happened. Sex is something you share with your partner, and there will usually be privacy expectations. It can be a major event in your life, one that you’d love to share with a friend or two, but find out what your partner’s wishes are first, and respect them.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember that the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.