Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.