her first time

Her First Time

Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.

Being Ready

The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.

A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?

Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.


  1. Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.

  2. Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.

  3. Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.

  4. Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.

  5. Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.

  6. Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.

  7. Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.

  8. There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.

  9. If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.

  10. The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.

Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.

First time problems...

So my boyfriend and I tried it for the first time last night. He has some experience, but I'm a virgin. When he went to enter me, he didn't fit. He couldn't get it in. He's not small, but I didn't think he was that big... any tips for next time? We used lubricated condoms.

well im trying to break down

well im trying to break down the barriers between my girlfriend and sex, ive gone down and fingered her and for some odd reason she still wont have sex but idk why i asked and she said shes parnoid but she doesnt know why can someone help me?


i've been seeing this guy for about 2 months now, I hand have only had sex whilst drunk because I get really nervous and shy. I want to be able to sleep with him sober, I feel totally ready and want to sleep with him for the first time next time he comes to visit (its long distance) but I am really nervous about being sober and i'm not body confident so worries me if we have the lights on. I am also a bit worried that I might bleed because he is quite big and he might think its my first time and I lied about previously having sex, Any advice on how to be a bit more confident and how to prevent bleeding?

ROSHANLK's picture
An Expert in Anything was once a beginner!

First of all, Just relax.
It will help you release tense from your mind and body.
Just think that you are the most beautiful and sexiest girl in the planet and you are ready to show your asserts for him.
Have enough foreplay, consider give and take oral.
Let your lubes wet your love passage and release your inner muscular tense. If necessary, consider lubricant. Let him penetrate gently.
In some occasions, there will be slight bleeding and most of time it is very minimal and unnoticed when blend with your flow.
Happy gliding and let us know your experience.


Umm, so I've been with this guy for over 2 years and a half now and I love him so much, plus I know he loves me back. We have a very close relationship as we talk about absolutely everything and I feel like he's not only my lover but my best friend too. In about two months I'll turn 16 (he turned 18 a month ago) and we've done sexual stuff and we are very comfortable with each other, but we've been thinking about having sex, like on my birthday. He is not pressuring me and I do know that I can just say "stop" whenever I want, 'cause he respects me and would never hurt me. I just don't know, I've always thought I'd wait until I am 17 or 18 to have sex, until I actually felt that I want to do it. And I want your opinion.. is it okay to have sex at just 16? The age difference between us is only 2 years, which is quite normal, but that's not what I am concerned about. We are both virgins, by the way. :) Thank you.

I am 17 and have been dating

I am 17 and have been dating this guy for like 2 years. We both grew up in really traditional " southern " homes where sexuality isnt really talked about and everyone girls expecially are expected to stay virgins unitl they are married. Well we have been talking about getting married when i graduate and we dont want to wait to have sex. What all should we expect and does it make me a bad person to have sex and not wait until i am married????

Star-crossed an...
Expect to not be perfect.

Expect to not be perfect. Unrealistic expectations of the first time are almost always disappointing. keep an open mind, and just go with what you feel. And no, exploring your sexuality at your own pace is really something you should take advantage of, because many are pressured by peers to do it before they're ready, or pressured to wait until after they want it. Just do you :)they'll forgive you if they ever find out.

Diamond-boo101's picture

I'm a virgin. Me and my bf have been talking about have sex. He's a virgin too. Thing is... i'm afraid that since i'm a virgin that when he gets in me that I might bleed and he'll be disgusted. What can I do?

I understand what you are

I understand what you are saying and i felt the same way before i had sex with my boyfriend. But if you are planning on having sex you must trust him so talk to him and find out how he feels about it...

My first time...

I'm Alaina, I'm 13-years-old, and in 2 months (August 6th, today's June 26th) I will be losing my virginity.
Don't judge until you've read ALL of this, thanks.
I don't talk to either of my parents that much anymore, due to the fact neither of them really want me. I'm responsible, I have 2 jobs, I go to school, I'm advanced in everything EXCEPT geography, I look way older than my age, and I could go on and on to justify this...
I know it's semi-sorta wrong, I'm not here to be judged or scolded. I don't want your "you're too young", or "you'll regret this" because at the moment, I really don't care.
Jake and I have been together for 10 months, at the moment, and on our 1 year, we plan on having sex for the first time together. He is not a virgin...did I mention he's 17? Yeah...he is 17. I don't care, okay? So shuttup. We're in love, you don't understand. I call his mom, mom and we spend a lot of time together. He's only had sex once before. I really don't want to know about it, haha... He isn't pressuring me into doing anything, it's a mutual thing. I'm free to back out at ANY time.

Here's what I'm here for...
1) Do I need to shave my pubes? Yes, this is a VERY embarrassing question and it's hard to ask so don't judge, just freaking answer.
2) What all really happens? I know it might hurt and it's not magical, just explain it please.
3) What do I do, as the female?
4) Any tips?

Yes, we have condoms. No I am not on BC. Thanks. :)

an answer to your questions

hello alaina, my name is matty. im 18 and i lost my virginity 2 months ago. i hope i can be of some assistance for you.

1) Do I need to shave my pubes?
(it might help. but its not neccessary.)

2) What all really happens?
(all i can say is i hope hes gentle, for your sake. its ok if u ask him to stop or slow down a few times if it hurts too much.)

3) What do I do, as the female?
(it depends on what position u use. i wuld recomend the missionary position for the first few times. so u can get used to the feeling and then move forward to other positions.)

4) Any tips?
(lots of lube wuld be useful. as well as forplay. being dry is even more pain. i wished i remembered to use lube my first time. i didnt start using it until about the 5-6 time. and it still hurt but i guess it mostly depends on HIS size. and for the most part, have fun. sex is supposed to be a beautiful, sensual action between two pple. but given the right actions and lots of practice, it can be one of life's greatest experiences... )


Fingering doesn't work

Uhm I noticed that the popular advice for making sure it doesn't hurt is to let him finger you, but whenever he fingers me it hurts and I don't know why (I finger myself all the time). Any advice? Help?


I'm 19 and a virgin, I recently met this guy who is much more experienced and I've been told he's amazing in bed..however when he was fingering me he mentioned that he didn't think he'd fit. I'm worried that it will put him off going further with me, I was just wondering do you guys have any ideas to help me out???

im sure everything will work

im sure everything will work out. just take your time.


Okay im sixteen and me and my bf are about to mess around for the first time today. Im alittle scared cuz my friend keeps saying hes flirting with another girl....im afraid he might just have sex with me and be done...soo like i need some help

Help is here~ sort of xD

You should wait!!! Don't have sex yet if you think he's flirting with other girls. Some guys only want girls for their body, so make sure to examine him well and tell him to wait. If he can't wait then there's no need to have sex because he won't respect that you want to wait for the perfect moment. If he says he can't wait then that means he's only interested in your body or other girls' body (as your friend mentioned.)

Sorry for that heads up, just wanted you to think on what you truly want and what would make you not regret after taking that step.

Help please

Even hough I am only 13, i have always been told that girls fingering themselves is very bad (or even for guys to masterbate ) what do you think??? Please comment!

hey its all natural

hey its all natural including sex. nothing sexual is bad as long as its not forsed and u dont do it without making sure u dont get her pregnent. its ok to enjoy ur bodies. have fun!

It's actually a natural

It's actually a natural thing for both men and women. Whoever told you it's "very bad" is either very ignorant or immature. Keep in mind that whenever you're seeking information regarding your sexuality asking close friends or classmates around your age isn't the best option. Instead, you should look online for info or ask a close teacher or parent, they can probably give you the most accurate advice.

I've been masturbating for...I can't even remember not masturbating, and I'm perfectly fine (and still a virgin, too, in case you're worried that masturbation makes you a sl*t). So, please, look for information online about masturbation...every sexologist and psychologist around considers it a natural, healthy behaviour.

As a side note: this site is definitely not meant for 13 year olds.

im 20 and still have my

im 20 and still have my v-card
i have a boyf been 2gether 2yrs but we live a house where we get no privice (his parents, bro and his gf)
cant go 2 a hotel coz hes got college and got no money
plzzz help .....

If you are really ready,

If you are really ready, cars are always an option (though i've found them rather cramped) so maybe in the summer go on a "camping trip" alone during one of his breaks (i say summer because cold weather makes it really hard to enjoy) or take one in the winter just make sure there are lots of blankets/ a campfire to keep the temperature comfortable. OR talk to one of his friends who lives on campus about borrowing his/her room (mentioning just going for the floor or washing/ bringing your own sheets)

I need help

I just lost my virginity 3 weeks ago and now I want to try and do something other then laying there so what can i do?

try different positions and

try different positions and try to dominate him! this will surely spice up things..

theres a bunch of great

theres a bunch of great positions to try out on this site. have fun trying them all out!

when my time comes i already

when my time comes i already know itl be strange bt ik what grinding is and everything.bt i jus dont know if im gonna do it right.i would love it if someone could explainn to me so tht i actually understand fully.
help pls

first time

its my gf firt time how should i go about having sex with her. she wants to do it but i am afraid of hurting her because she doesnt masterbate or anythin. what should i do??? please e mail or pm me asap!!!!! or post something helpfull fast!

Start with fingering her and

Start with fingering her and get her used to being touched down there, then when she is ready just take it slow, use foreplay and get her ready first and have a lube on hand just in case she is too dry because of nerves or something (spit works too though it seems weird at first). Also don't try to go fast or all the way in at first.. let her set the pace, when she wants you her hips will tell you even if she can't find the words.

PLZZZ help! Im a 14 year old

PLZZZ help! Im a 14 year old virgin and my bf and i want to have sex but live in a small town ( no motels hotels) moms always around and is a light sleeper.What do i do? I no it sounds crazy but we love each other and have waited long enough.plz help

well if ur mom goes some

well if ur mom goes some where and u no she will be gone 4 a while then talk that time 3 have sex! :_)

Haha that doesnt sound

Haha that doesnt sound crazy...im a 14 year old virgin too but i want to do it too. the only thing is that if i was cought my parents would kill me..im guessing its the same thing with you?...i guess it depends on wether or not your parents let you hang out with your bf at all..cuz u could go to his house then take "a walk" in the woods...of course the woods isnt very romantic or comfortable..but bring a blanket and maybe a small picnic...or u could wait till one of you can drive then go for a road trip..lol and do it in the car or get out somewhere..lmao...and if your really risky have your bf come over secretly(or not) and sneak outside to do it...but just absolutley make sure your ready..lol once u loose your v-card you cant get it back...and i would take baby steps first like fingering and blow jobs and stuff..if u havent already..hope i helped..good luck


I wasn't a virgin when I met my current bf but certainly felt like one. He's the biggest I've been with and wow!!! Wasn't painful in the virgin sense, but quite a strange sensation. I finally found (or he did) my G-spot, which meant after a few minutes of intercourse (after a masssage and a touchy-feely non-insertion foreplay), I came almost straight away. Can remember my first time. It wasn't the best sex I've had (although not been with loads of partners) but wasn't the worst either. Slightly painful and a little embarassing that he was having probs at first, a little lub worked wonders. But wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Have to have an understanding partner for the first time and if you feel you need to say "stop" you must be able to. Need patience and a little reassuring for your first time, and plenty of time. If you rush it, it will ruin the whole experience. Certainly take your time with foreplay etc and set the mood before hand.

15 and curious...

Well I have a boyfriend and he's already asking me for sex. We've been with each other for quite awhile and I really want to... But I'm one of those people that have low self esteem. I'm uncomfortable with my body and everytime we get horny nothing happens because I just reject it.. He says he'll wait but I feel like I'm not going to be able to do it! Please any advice? Thank you

Let him read this comment

Let him read this comment too because it is up to him to make you feel beautiful. Without even taking clothes off he should love having an arm around you or hugging you. And BF if you do TELL HER! The more complements paid the better the girl feels about herself and more willing to reveal her body in full. If he doesn't enjoy your body fully clothed, or seems to just be saying he does to get in your pants, then he doesn't really care for you and does not deserve your v-card. Also, when you both get horny, try letting him just touch with his hand or even lips with the understanding that if it becomes too much for you he will stop, but you have to be willing to let him get somewhere at least a little at a time. Baby Steps with someone who really cares will one day have you ready to walk around the bedroom naked just for him.

help me plz

im a 16yr old girl, im not a vergin, but i havent had much practice. and i told my bf that my drs were puttin me on birth control and he told me that i wouldent need that for awhile. and yet he is the one that wanted to do it 2 times befor, and he alwayss wants to fool around like bj's hj's and fingering but thats all, i dont care bout sex but it was weard that he said that. wat do u think he ment by me not needin the birth control for awhile?

To me a person should wait

To me a person should wait until marriage because it can ruin friendships plus ur body is mature

ok im sorry but i have to

ok im sorry but i have to say this.
i believe you should have sex when you are ready.
but i am soo sick of 13 and 14 year olds talking about haveing sex with 18 and older, i dont care if he/her says they love you. you are a child no matter how mature you think you act your still a child and they are adults. No matter if you think you love them or you feel ready to a child should never have sex with an adult

i am sorry if i make anyone mad posting this
that was not what i was trying 2 do

I love what you wrote. Don't

I love what you wrote. Don't rush into having sex especially at that young of an age. I lost my virginity at the age of ten, not by choice, by abuse.

i think 13-14 is mostly too

i think 13-14 is mostly too young... it was for me at least, but i think i was ready when i was 15 just fine.

my first

just had my first time yesterday, rather my first two times. ehe ^^;
we stopped because it hurt too much for me, so he finished through anal, which i can take. Weird, had anal before vaginal.. anyway, it didnt hurt so much the second time, but i was wondering if there are any tips to help reduce the pain. i read somewhere he should just hold it there when he gets in for a bit, but are there any other good tips? or is this just something i'll have to work through?

i had anal sex before

i had anal sex before vaginal too.

So did I

So did I



If anybody is out there that can help me that would be great. So my problem is that I am a 16 year old girl and I am still a virgin. I have an 18 year old boyfriend and I am thinking that he is goin to be the one who I am going to lose my virginity. His self isteem is reallly low and i don't know of I should. He was rasied to be respectful to women, I want to ask him but we will only be going out for a month this up coming. Sunday. And I want to know Will it hurt? Should I wait? How should I ask him? Shops I let him ask me? What the f**k should I do? HELP!!!!!!!! Message me please


I can tell that you are

I can tell that you are ready so as far as judging him, start off just by talking about sex. Be direct but gentle and understanding. Give him complements all the time not just during this conversation. Also be ready for him to change the subject or not wanna talk about it. A month is really early to actually do the deed, but definitely begin talking about it. Also during make out sessions (if you aren't having those now is a time to start!) try reaching for his crotch or just for his bare chest and see how he reacts, might be a good way to breach the topic if you can't find the words. Let him know that you care for him and you are ready when he is. As far as will it hurt, it didn't for me. But i had been masterbating for a while including penetrating with my own fingers, and my man had fingered me pretty well on a few occasions, so when he is ready to take a step towards sex, start by using foreplay for a few sessions. It will help you and him get used to each other and your likes and dislikes before hand.

why dont you wait for a

why dont you wait for a little bit longer until he might be ready..


if u relly think he coud b the one then i dont c no problem, just sit down with him and have the conversation, it mat b a lil weard but u have to do it, thats the only way ull know if hes ready to. but if u dont compleatly now for sure if ur ready then dont rush into it because your only 16, so am i and i lose my verginity wen i was 14 it was the biggest mustae of my life becuase i found out in the end that he was just using me. so make sure that u r ready and that he aint using u, best of luck.

I'm 29 and still a

I'm 29 and still a virgin...I am getting married in June and my fiance is also a virgin...trust me girl int he end it's worth the wait!

I'm also just a 16 year old

I'm also just a 16 year old girl with an older boyfriend. Before you decide that you are completely ready, think #1, will you regret it in the morning? If not, talk to him and ask what his opinion on sex is. Ask him if he feels that you two are ready or if he wants to wait until a certain part of your relationship. Oh, and like the article says, do a lot of foreplay before. Make sure that he is comfortable with you seeing him without cloths because of the self esteem issues. Oh, and it WILL hurt. Have him eat you out or finger you before and make you cum so that you are stretched a bit and it will hurt LESS.

My story, isn't one you hear often

I lost my virginity when I was 18 to a friend after I found out my boyfriend of a year and a half cheated on me.. It was sweet he got us a hotel room and he cared about whether he was hurting me or not. I woke up and he was gone nothing but a note saying he had to go back home to take care of his little boys.

Then 6 months ago I was raped by a guy friend I knew for 3 years. I didn't want anything to do with sex not even kissing.

Then 4 months ago I met my current boyfriend we hung out and talked for about 2 weeks before he decided to ask if he could kiss me I remember standing there shaking my head "yes" while he's pulling me gently towards him it was the sweetest most gentle kiss I've ever had and then he asked my mom if he could date me. He knew about my past and said he wouldn't do anything with out my permission. So we kissed for awhile until one night before he had to go out of town we made out, then we moved up to foreplay and on thanksgiving we made love and it was sweet, simple, and just perfect for my "first time". We're madly in love.

To all those teenage girls out there you should wait don't waste a valuable thing on some guy who says he loves you, he may not mean it and once you give in he'll probably leave and you're left heart-broken.


I hav a confession to make. Yesterday afternoon i had sex with my cousin sister, i took her virginity. But it wasnt against her will, she is 2yrs younger to me. When i talked to her she just shy away. What should i do, was it a big mistake? Help....

yes it was a mistake. BUT

yes it was a mistake. BUT not one that can't be overcome. If she wanted it too then it was a mutual mistake and the only thing to do is to apologize and try and keep a cordial distance for a while. Try writing her a letter or e-mail because a face-to-face meeting will be really hard for her. With time she will come to terms with what happened and like everyone else find the perfect match for her. Just keep your distance, and let her know you meant no harm.