Her First Time
Most women are naturally a bit afraid of their first time having sex. Will I enjoy it? Will it hurt? Will I satisfy my man? Is he the right one? These are all questions that most women think about before their first time. The truth is that your first few times having sex will not be remembered as your best sex ever. Most women agree that the first time often hurts a little, is uncomfortable, and is often very clumsy. Once you get passed the first few times, you will start enjoying all the pleasures that this type of intimacy has to offer.
Being Ready
The first thing to consider is the person you are with. You want your first time to be with someone you really care for and that really cares for you in return. Since sex will most likely be not that great the first few times, the person you are with is what you’ll want to remember. Many women often rush into sex before they are ready because their friends are doing it or because their boyfriend is expecting it. Neither of these should be a part of your reason, there is no correct amount of time to wait; you just want to make sure that you will not regret the decision later.
A few questions you can ask yourself are: Do I trust my partner with my life? Can I see myself having a long relationship with this person? Is he pressuring me? Is having sex for me, or for someone else?
Although everyone has anxieties, if you don’t feel you are completely ready, wait. If the guy you are with really cares for you enough, he will understand that this is a big decision, and you don’t want to rush it. You do not want to give it up to a guy who is worried more about his stature with his friends then your feelings.
Tips
- Choose a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your bedroom may be the best place.
- Choose a secure time when roommates / parents / friends won't come barging in.
- Gain some experience ahead of time. You want to have explored foreplay for quite awhile before you take the plunge. Having a good understanding of how your and his body works as well as having played together will take away much of the tension. Make sure that you feel 100% comfortable in the nude with the lights on, as having sex will be much more intimate then looking at each other.
- Communication is the most important thing in a sexual relationship. Make sure to talk about doing it ahead of time to make sure that you are both thinking the same thing. Getting the topic out in the open allows you to become more comfortable with the topic.
- Most women feel pain during intercourse the first few times because they aren’t used to having an object penetrating them. This can be reduced dramatically through fingering. Whether you finger yourself or your partner fingers you, stretching out your vaginal opening will definitely improve the experience.
- Feel free to say stop when ever you want, whether you haven’t started, are starting, or are well under way. It may be because you are getting cold feet, or something about the situation feels wrong, the reason can be whatever you want, just make sure the person you are with will honor your wishes.
- Excessive dryness of the vagina can be a problem, especially when nervous of the first time experience of intercourse. Although lubricant will not stop all the pain, it will definitely decrease it to some extent. K-Y Jelly is most often recommended, and it can be purchased in our online store.
- There are a few positions that are really good for starting out, depending on your concerns. If you want to be in control, then we suggest having your partner lie on his back, and you can straddle him “cow girl style”. If you would rather be on the bottom, the missionary position is probably the best way to start.
- If your partner has erection difficulties, or ejaculates prematurely - either of which often happens the first few times - be supportive. This can be one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to a young man, and if not dealt with properly, can result in ongoing problems. If erection problems do happen, try to stimulate him a little, and take some time before you try to put it in again.
- The most important thing you need to know is to practice safe sex by using protection. Whether it be to protect you from pregnancy, or to prevent contracting STDs, you want to protect yourself to the fullest extent. Until you have been with your partner to get checked for STDs, and you are on other birth control, there is no excuse for not using protection. Just because there is no excuse not to use them doesn’t mean that guys will do everything they can to get away from them, and be prepared to hear everything from it makes me go limp, to it takes away from the pleasure, to they were sold out. You can buy condoms at most pharmacies, or order them online from our online store.
Remember, this experience should be an extremely special and intimate time for both partners. Good luck, and remember, the best sex happens with people you care greatly about.
My boyfriend and I had sex
My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time when we were both 14. It's crazy how things evolve and I know to some it's shocking hearing about 13/14/15 year olds having sex just as I'm shocked hearing of 10/12 year olds. But i'm not being judgemental, there comes a time for everyone. Over the course of my relationship with my boyfriend we worked our way up to many things. We never brought up the thought of sex untill about being together ten months and it was merely an accident. Anyways, we experimented started of with the oral [never once in my life did he "make" me give him oral] he just wanted to satisfy me. I remember one of the first few times he gave me oral i orgasmed and it felt amazing. The question as to when I finally had sex was when we were at about 1 year and four months, we talked about things we liked and disliked and making sure we were both comfortable. The night it happened we were both in the car, it didnt last more than ten minutes but it was because someone had walked out of the house we were parked in. It didnt hurt, Im guessing because the athletic theory (tampons/swimming) and the fingering. First time we tried lotus and it was beautiful. We conitinued our oral throughout the course of the months and haven't had an opporunity of sex until now which is about a year later from our first time, [im 15 now]. We were very mature about what we were doing talking about what ifs, plan b, condomns, if anything went wrong. I don't regret me decision. And im totally comfortable about my body just as he is with me. Just be careful with what your doing and make sure the other one feels something for you.
just becareful..
since i hit puberty at age 10 ive always been a horny little devil.. its sad that in nz you dont get sex ed before your 13 .. i always played out for guys and would lead them on right up until i was 13, this is when ilost my virginity.. and i sure do wish i still had it now ! i was with my boyfriend of 8 months at the time (he was 18), and i lied to him saying i had done it before.. but once we had had sex he knew it was my first time cos i had hurt him being so tight.- this happened on a bush walk.
over the next near 3 years i had 1 one night stand and 3 more serious relationships (one lasting a year). so i had slept with 5 people in 3 years.
but after that i was like on a killing spree with my "downthere". its now been 5 years since i lost my virginity.. bringing me to 18 years of age.. now im 18 and have had sex with 21 people. 21! in the last year and a half-two years (since my last serious relationship) ive had sex with 21-5=16 different men. which really is sad...to have sex with that many men in that short amount of time is not good in soo many ways. majorly for me its emotionally. it plays with your mental state and it doesnt teach you how to love and learn from mistakes because your kicking that guy out the door before he can put his jocks back on... therefore there is no emotional bond - and this is what i was avoiding.. and still am. afraid to be loved and love.my weeks were filled of what im doing on the weekend and who im gonna fuck. and that was wrong.
dont follow in my footsteps cos at the end of the day.. all of the last 5 years of my life revolving around sex has been a mistake..
idk
alright so im 14 and one of my friends that ive liked for 2 years finally likes me.we've been talking and he wants to have sex with me.i really like him and he says he likes me alot too. we've both never done anything more than just make out and he wants me to be his first time. i kinda want to try it but idk. i dont know what do..
Advice??
Okay Im a Virgin and so is my boyfriend... We have been dating for like 7 months and we think we are ready to devote to each other. I was wondering what would be like the best for us. He is about 10 inchs and I can fit 3-4 fingers in me.
Im just looking for some good advice on things we can do since we both have never done it before.
Please help!!!
The best thing you can do is
The best thing you can do is to relax and make sure you have both talked it out. I hope that you arent only doing it because you guys are really horny and not ready. Anyway, for me the best thing was to start up with foreplay so that it wouldnt be as bad and then we just go with the flow.
Have Fun!
People reading my replies to
People reading my replies to previous comments may bitch at me for being consistent on this topic, but for all you virgins out there, I strongly recommend waiting until you're married to the guy you love. I got married to my husband about a month ago, and the six months of abstinence not only helped increase our love and respect for each other, but the release of all that sexual tension made our first time absolutely /incredible/! it was so special, so incredible, i doubt I'll ever forget it.
To me, virginity is a present you give to your husband, and vice-versa for him, at the "Christmas" which is your marriage. Because really, for us, we were like little kids eagerly waiting for Christmas xD
I can't stress enough the importance of communication dring your first time, do not ever be afraid to voice discomfort or fear, you always have the right to say "no" or "not yet" or to tell him to slow down. Walk each other through it; breaking the hymen is painful, when my husband broke mine I had to wait half an hour or more before I felt brave enough to try again. But once we got going, it was the most awesome experience of my whole life, the love and care between us magnified the pleasure and overall experience ^^
now we have sex almost every day and I love it xD
im tired having sex with my
im tired having sex with my virgin girlfriend and im a virgin to. so i had my dick in her pussy and it went in like 1/2 of the way and wouldnt go any farther. it was like a hit a brick wall. is that normal
:/
Um Tbh i don't thinkk you were hard enough :/
my first time was in a
my first time was in a catholic church...... Don't ask, his penis was so tiny but it hurt like hell... When I went to the gyno to get checked up I was all clean but that thing they put up there oh my god! That hurt so freakin BAD! I was crying through it for half an hour. The sad part is that the gyno was very very hot. I really wish he was my first...
that thing was 2 inches
His cock was 2 inches long... I shit you not! And I said no right before he stuck it in there... I was really wasted, don't be like me kids. No means No kick that bitch in the head and run.
What Hapeend to me:)
Well me and this was really in love.I really thought he was the one. I joked about it and and he lafted and he was like i am not touching you until you 16. Witch showed how mutch her loved me and respected me. My mate she had lost her V and she now says she wish she has waited beacsue it was with a a
stupied lad well let me put it srtight was A MAN SLAG.
Cut along story short
I Told the lad i wanted to do it beaucse i loved him and he was the 1 (and still is) so we waited until the house was empty and we was in my bedroom watching a dvd. and we just started kissing and he was laid on top of me. And then he wisperd in my ear sayin do you want to and i said yes. So he slapped his jhonny on and eveything.
but if you dont feel comfortable takin your pants of then this is wht i did wear a pare of thongs witch you can easily pull to the side. it works that what i did people say it dunt hert but i tell you it did its a pain you crnt explain and you bleed alot so always make sure you do it in ur house never in his and take your bed sheets of beacuse you bleed do be extrer safe. . .
how it was for me
hey i waited till i was 19 before i had sex for the first time and the guy i;m with waited for over 4 months for me to be ready. it didn;t hurt when i did it for the first time i don't know if it was because i was relaxed or wether its because the skin on the inside of my virgina was already broken from being fingered but it was comfortable and stress free for me From Kyrie
PROBLEM
My girlfriend and I have been going out for a while now, and we've been trying to have sex for a while now, but my penis doesn't fit. It's too wide, according to her.... what do I do?
answer...
lots of lube and usually fingering really works it stretches her out alittle bit dont worry she wont stay like that after lol it just loosens her up to get her going if shes never really been stimulated like that before you guys do it.. it will hurt her i know i had the same problem with my bf but forplay is the ultimate answer and dont forget the lube ;)
god luck...
Should I?
I am 17 years old, almost 18 and I am seeing this guy and I think I am ready to have sex, but since we aren't officially together I question whether I should go for it. I have spent alot of time contemplating this decision and keep going back and forth. any advice or suggestions on how I can solve this dilemma?
honestlythe best and only
honestlythe best and only answer anyone can give is that you should only do it if you know that you are really ready and that you wont regret it at all because if you do do it and you regret it then sex really wont be the same...
sex
i am 13 years old. i lost my virginity when i was 12 years old. it was with 17 year old guy. that i have no feelings for.i still continue to seee him.i give him amzing blowjobs but she doesnt preform oral sex on me as well as i do to him.but he fingers amazingly. we hide it from everyone other than our friends. see idont want anyone knowing because he is my best friends brother. and if she finds out. my whole life is ruined. what should i do??
:/
Im 13 to....I know this sounds wrong but what the hell were you thinking?
i'm 18 years old and i think
i'm 18 years old and i think that 12 is way too young to even be thinking about sex. if you have no feelings for him them why are you still having sex with him?? if she's really your best friend then you'll stop this thing with her brother. if you value your friendship with her then you might wanna think about what you would be doing to her if she found out. think about it......message me if you want anymore advice.
Hi, i read your comment. I
Hi, i read your comment. I was the same really i lost my v when i was 13. i suggest stop seeing the guy beacuse at end of the dy keep you friends closer than your boyfriend
First Time
I'm a 19 year old female and i have been with my boyfriend for 4 months 3 weeks and 2 days he waited over 4 months for me to be ready and always told me that he wouldn't do anything i didn;t want him to. so when it came to my first time i felt comfortable, relaxed and i knew i could trust him to be gentle with me we used a condom and i am on the pill because of my periods not being regular due to having polycystic ovarian syndrome and it didn;t hurt one bit i had done foreplay with him and boyfriends before him so i think that may of helped to but i enjoyed my first time alot because he already had expirience he made it special and magical for me i couldn't of asked for a better first time.
old virgin
i need some advice. i'll be 23 in january and im still a virgin!!! i feel pathetic!!!
i dont think something is wrong with me, i know i ahvent found the right person yet, and my freinds assure me im not misisng out and that i have to wait for the right person and that is has to be o the basis of care and love.
but i mean....23?? am i pathetic?? :(
i dont wanna be an old virgin!!!!!
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm 23 too and I was a
I'm 23 too and I was a virgin until I married my husband a little over a month ago xD
you just need to find the right guy, although, speaking from experience, saving your first ever orgasm or just sexual encounter until marriage is DEFINITELY worth it. you don't need to have sex to find a boyfriend, in fact, for me, avoiding sex with my fiance gave us a deeper respect for each other, and made the first time absolutely /wonderful/.
I've found that it's like renewing our wedding vows, every time we make love, we're literally "making love", saying "i do!" all over again. it really enhances the pleasure, feeling that deeper and more profound love during sex.
It also feels even better knowing that he belongs to me and I to him, feels kinda kinky xD
anyway, no, you're definitely not pathetic, and yes, definitely wait for care and love. I've had just plain sex with my husband once or twice, even if we both go all out it's just not nearly as gratfying as a loving coupling.
wait until you're ready
You are not pathetic.
You just haven't founf the right person to have a sexual encounter with.
Be patient,it will happen.
well I was 22 and im a guy
Hey take your time don't rush into anything. The guy you share that moment with my turn out not to be an angle. I was 22 when my first time and I know exactly how you feel. Find someone who will appreciate what your giving them and who will take there time allowing to enjoy the moment.
Shud i, or shudnt i
ok so theres this guy thats been after me for a while. ive known him 4 3 years but he hasnt like wanted me till this summer. I dont want a boyfriend and he dosnt want a girlfriend. We wana mess around but we r both virgins. i dont kno if we shud or not. I dont want a bf/gf relationship but i want him. wat shud i do?
don't. speaking from
don't. speaking from experience, sex is FAR more satisfying if it's on a basis of love and care. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend until we married, and the abstinence really made our first time all the more worth the wait.
not to sound preachy but virginity is like a present meant to be "opened" by the one you want to spend your life with ;)
if you're not looking for a relationship...I don't condone masturbation but you should stick with that. I can't decide for you though, I'm just hoping something I've said here will help. don't just use sex for fun, or else it loses its special quality and becomes as mundane as running or playing a game.
im in the same situation...
I say go for it as long as he cares about you and you are both ready. :]
i agree. =]]
i agree. =]]
1st time
my boyfriend and i are waiting 'til we hit one year. we both know that we're never going to want anyone else (we're a perfect match!) but both of us are virgins so we're both kinda freaked out.
we're gonna be smart (i'm going on the pill anyway to even out my cycle & we're gonna use a condom) but i'm still freaked as to how much its gonna hurt. i'm a bit of a masochist and have dealt with much more pain than my 1st could be (i've broken more bones than i want to list - i'm a massive klutz)
by then i'll be 18 and he'll be 19 (he's 8 months older than me)