Female Orgasm
Before You Get Started
Some women seem to have an incredibly difficult time reaching orgasm during intercourse; that is if they are able to orgasm at all. The most common reason for this is that they don’t know their own bodies. Society has had this brilliant effect of instilling into our minds from childhood that masturbation is sinful, wrong and dirty. Well, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but all common sense dictates that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Thanks to this misconception, many people, especially women, have stopped themselves from learning their bodies, thereby reducing the chances of being able to fully enjoy sex. It is hard for many women to unlearn all that they have been taught, and they often feel that “touching themselves does not bring pleasure”. There is some truth behind that - they are not lying, they do not feel pleasure. However, this is not because there is no pleasure to be felt, just that they have been indirectly taught to not enjoy it. Getting beyond this will take time and patience, so never rush your partner.
If your woman has never had an orgasm (this is often the case if they say, "I think I’ve had one"), you will want to refer to the Female Masturbation Guide to get things started. Learning to please a woman who can’t orgasm on her own is extremely difficult, so we highly suggest that you start with getting her to play with herself, and allow her to learn how her body reacts to different stimulus.
The last note has to do with your approach. Orgasms can’t be forced, and the more pressure you put on her to cum, the less likely it is to happen. Take things slow, learn techniques, experiment with them and find what works. If you start getting frustrated when you aren’t seeing results, it will show, and unfortunately make it even harder. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable - as soon as you make it too serious, it takes away from the pleasure!
About Orgasms
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have - clitoral and G-spot (otherwise known as vaginal orgasms). When masturbating, women usually learn to get themselves off using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the whole world of vaginal orgasms untapped. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren't familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. While you learn to read your partner's body signs, it never hurts to ask a question, especially if you are trying new techniques.
Coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman's clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus. One can incorporate manual stimulation to the clitoris during sex, but this is not very necessary if your woman has had vaginal orgasms in the past, and if you know how to hit the g spot correctly. To learn more about positions and the G-spot, please refer to the G-spot article and Sex Positions section. No one wants to involve geometry into sex, but it is wise to know which positions stimulate the G spot the best. In order to help her achieve a vaginal orgasm, you need to make sure you are "hitting" the G-spot with each stroke.
Many men fantasize about the myth of female ejaculation. Well, for starters, its no myth, most women should theoretically be able to have them. The key is G-spot stimulation, but all of this is also well described in the article on Female Ejaculation.
Some Ideas on Getting Her There:
First of, we would like to remind you to relax, and not to make her orgasm the purpose behind the encounter. The more of a goal you make it; the less likely it is that it will happen. Relax and enjoy yourselves, as that is the most important part.
The Grind
During Intercourse, you want to increase the pressure exerted on the woman's clitoris. This can be accomplished by rotating your hips just like when you are "grinding" on a dance floor. Try to really push against the front of her groin with the area just above the penis. Rocking back and forth or side to side is a really good way of getting started.
Rule of Thumb
With the woman sitting on top, the man should lie flat on his back, pelvic tilted upward, and stomach muscles tightened. You want to arch your hips upwards to improve the quality of “the Grind”; this can be achieved easily by putting a pillow under the man’s bum. He then should put his hand over the woman’s pubic region, and place his thumb on the woman’s clitoris. While the woman is riding her partner, he can simultaneously stimulate her clitoris.
T Position
With the woman lying on her back, the man should lie perpendicularly (i.e., at a right angle to her, thus forming the ‘T’), while straddling the woman’s far leg. Depending on the woman’s flexibility, this can be a great position for deep penetration, while exposing the clitoris for manual stimulation. This double stimulation is very gratifying and can often lead to the big “O” really quickly.
The Maximizer
The woman lies on her back, legs tightly held together. The man lies on top, or stands/kneels, in front. Instead of being directly in line with her, the man should be at a slight diagonal. Both of her legs should be over one shoulder, or on one side, of his body; he should begin penetration. This position is designed to maximize female clitoral stimulation and is easiest to perform with the man standing or kneeling (i.e. the woman should have her legs hanging off a counter, couch or bed).
Using Sex Toys
Sex toys can be used in virtually any sexual position, and thanks to the creative people who design toys, if you can think of a toy, chances are its already made. If you have never used one, you can read our comprehensive section on buying and using Sex Toys. Then visit our online store to find products designed to increase stimulation during intercourse or masturbation. The following is a summary of some of the most popular types of toys:
Vibrating Clitoral Suckers
This class of products works as follows: put the cup part of the toy over the clitoral area, squeeze the pump a couple times to build up some suction, then turn on the vibrating egg, which is generally attached to the cup. The suction is great because it draws more blood to the clitoris, making it more sensitive, as well as it keeps the toy hands free. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensations, but some varieties may prove a little bulky for some positions.
Regular Vibrators
For those of you who are looking for something with a little more functionality, we recommend getting a regular vibrator. The can be held in place during intercourse to stimulate whatever you want, they can be inserted anally, and can be used on their own as well. They are available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and purposes.
Vibrating Cock Rings
This class of products is ingenious! The toy is basically a ring with one or more vibrating eggs attached. Simply slide it down the shaft of the penis, turn on the vibrating eggs, and voila, super pleasure for both parties.
Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex
Try Play O ... it is an unscented gel to be applied to the cllitoris and surrounding area. It uses a combination of ingredients designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring intense orgasms. We rated it a 8.5/10! Click here to check out our detailed review.
I tend to explore myself very well, I find that my orgasms are very intense, but I have yet to have a guy bring me to orgasm.....since Im well...still a virgin..
i am a 25 year old girl and i am cursed with not being able to orgasm during sex and cant seem to figure out why. help. i have become much more interested in sex lately and its getting frustrating that i cant climax. i can climax when i do it myself but have never had an orgasm during intercourse. can anyone give me some tips? thanks in advance.
i would definantly try doing it cowgirl style....that does wonders for me....it made me nervous at first....but it has quickly become one of my favorites!!! with the most intense orgasm....
Some woman just don't or can't orgasm during actual sex...I don't either and I would rather have my husband cum first and then make him lick me out or massage my pussy until I orgasm. It's wonderful. i'd rather it be this way so it works for us. The feeling of him working on me is a great turn on. He will go crazy with his tounge and then simultaniously finger me. It also allows me to be in charge of what I want. Sometimes I will push him to lie down and just literally sit on his face and ride his tounge while he and I can both play with my breasts and nipples. Wow, it's incrdible. Good luck!
the best position for you would be the "T" it works amazinly my girlfriend loves this position the most bc it gets her orgasm very fast within 5 to 10 minutes so try that.
are you having sex with random people or somone you date? most of the time if ur dating then ur significant other knows where u like it but that takes comunication
there is an emotional aspect to it and also you ned to communicate what works and what doesnt, if nothing you have tried is working then go out and try new positions or guys and tell them what you like to have done to you
Maybe it's because your not emotionaly attatch to the person your with.
-Jon
im one of those girls who have terrible difficulty having an orgasm and even getting pleasure from anything. it really sucks. any tips please?
it takes a while to find out what turns you on. Keep exploring, an maybe find someone that your comfortable with to help you. Just find someone who you connect with sexually. And try to explore each others bodies.
sucks. doesn't he want to?? i thought everyone was really concerned about being good in bed. Especially guys! :S
My boyfriend won't help me out at all getting there. So, I always need to help myself. -_-
That's a sign of either a selfish, immature or inexperienced person. If he's just selfish, find someone better. You'll never be happy with him, because selfish people are that way in everything they are or do.
Then quit having sex with him. Why give him pleasure if he isn't being fair? There is no point in letting him get what he wants if he won't do the same in return.
well sounds like yo boy is retarded..lol...well see my gf does things for me and the way i get her off without having sex is eating her out. nd when we do have sex i do the "T" position with her and she gets off within 5 to ten minutes but have ur boy go hard and fast for it to maximize the feeling. trust me you will get off fast.
i orgasm heterosexually
when me and my bf stared f*cking after i few min. i reached it and i must of scared him with it he must have talt i whas having a strock or some thing but now he love seeing me orgasm and now i cant wait for my 15 b-day becas from some sorces he is going to do my fantic thing iv all ways whonted if u kinda whont to knw reply 2 this and i will tell u
i wanna know in detail
SPILL!!!
I'm 19 years old and I started having sex when I was 16 years old. Ever since then I've never had an orgasm. Sometimes I think I be close to one because I start to shake all over. So like seriously what is the problem what could I do or what could me and my partner do to make me have an orgasm!!!!
Litbit, problably what happened when you started to shake all over was overstimulation. It happens to a lot of us. Becareful of that too. It can cause you to become very ill. It happened to me, I couldn't get that climax so my ex just kept going and going and then I started to shake uncontrollably, I couldnt stop then I finally fainted...it wasnt an orgasm..it was terrifying. What was worse, he took me home to my mom said, I dont know whats wrong with her, she is sick or something and left me there while I ended up vomiting from all of this.
If you cant climax easily after some time of good foreplay... give it a rest... your both probably working to hard. Relax, enjoy each others company, let your mind catch up with your body and try again.
I hope this has helped... finding a good man who knows how to push all the right buttons and mix things up with you will cause you to squirt uncontrollably too... just ask my current boyfriend. LOL
try doing it on your own, how can another person give you one and you know it if you have never given yourself one, try masturbating and exploring and eventually you will find out what you like, whether its only clitoral or g-spot or both
Me and my girlfriend have been having sex for over a year together, we lost our virginity to one another and we both love sex. I am 18 she is 17. she tells me that she has at least 3-4 orgasms every time we have sex, i know i shouldnt be second guessing my partner but i am not sure if she is telling truth...
no two orgasms are exactly the same. if she seems to be switching it up a lot with how loud or quiet she is or whatever, that doesnt necessarily mean shes faking. my advice...JUST TALK TO HER!
Ok im 13 and i havent lost my virginity yet but when i do what does it mean if i cant make her have an orgasm? If shes faking one how can i tell?
Personally, I think 13 is too young for sex anyways. You aren't emotionally ready for something like sex, but that's just my thought. Also, you can't really tell when women are faking it. You just have to trust them and what they say. However, their noises can tell you a lot about how pleasureful the sex is and if they are enjoying it. However, not all women can orgasm. So you just have to experience it and go from there. But as I said, I'd wait a few more years for sex.
Hey its iight bro you just gotta know how to work your body have confidence in urself bro.
look, it doesnt mean anything, especially if it's HER first time. but if it isnt, and she's had one before, just ask her how she likes it.
My boyfriend and I went at it for an hour and a half the 3rd time we had sex (third time ever for me) because he got me to orgasm the second time we had sex. He'd never brought a girl to orgasm before, so he really wants me to like every time.
But he puts so much pressure on himself AND on me to orgasm. Which makes it a lot more difficult to do so.
Any advice?
i really really want to make my gf orgasm we're only young i just turned 17 she's 16, is it possible for her to orgasm that young? whats the easiest way to make her orgasm?? someone plz reply.
hey im 16 and my bf is 17 we arn't having sex and yet he can make me cum more than once every time just make sure that ur both enjoying it... i like mixing up foreplay bc im not ready for sex. frictions a great stimulus for me and him. take ur time go slow with things and i bet u could get her to scream. but to answer ur one question yes it is very possible at this age.
Don't worry, I've got the same problem, but I'm the 16 year old girl in the relationship. I don't know if I've ever cum and I can't seem to be able to do it, with my boyfriend or by myself. It sucks and i kinda makes my BF feel like he hasn't accomplished anything and I just get frustrated with it. Any tips anyone?
16 is definitely not too young to have an orgasm. There is no easy way to make a girl orgasm, but it helps to know certain spots and what she likes! 2 main ones to remember are the clitoris and the g-spot (look around this site, you'll find a lot more on them) just start off slow, maybe get her to start and see how she does it.
just remember the brain is the body's biggest sex organ, so find out what she's into.
I've never been able to have an orgasm with anyone but myself. I can have one when i'm by myself and masturbating, but the minute im with someone else it feels compleatly different! I can't even have one when im having phone sex! Whats going on? :[
i've been having sex with my gf for like four years now. Since we see each other once in a while cuz she is off at school it's not like we have sex all the time but at least twice a month i would say. She has never had an orgasm. she plays with herself or i perform oral sex on her and stimulate her using her clit cuz that is what she like and she yells cuz it feels good and almost crying but she still doesn't orgasm. most of the time she tells me to stop or if she is masterbating she will stop cuz her clitoris gets to sensitive, is this normal, why can't she orgasm? we are both 21
vaginal orgasms are hugely psychological/ physiological. your mental state has everything to do with whether you'll be able to come or not. it starts with feeling comfortable with your body, and comfortable/trusting of the guy. and that's only the beginning.
you really have to mentally focus during the act, if you want to come vaginally. basically, you just breathe, relax, go slow, and concentrate on the way the it FEELS to have the guy you care about inside of you. Make it a really sensual and loving experience... not like frenzied porno sex. That type of wild bucking does no good for the orgasmically-shy.
Open your legs... as wide as they'll go... open your heart... open your mind to the pleasurable sensations. think about taking him deep inside of you, and how great it feels to be filled by him. relax your pelvis and allow your hips to rock and move freely as you focus on the sensations, and BREATHE. and LOOK, if you want. look at the gorgeous curve of his neck and his strong, muscled arms wrapped around you. and then focus on taking him deep inside of you again, and just let go, and then BOOM. an earthquake happens inside of you. it's fucking GREAT!!
vaginal orgasms are really powerful, they feel like nothing else, and they're much more satisfying than a clitoral orgasm alone. i'm pretty sure that with the correct positioning, you get a double-whammy clit and vag orgasm in one. so you want to be sure your man is coming in deep and slow, and hitting the pelvic bone area. slow fucking is much more pleasurable for the woman, and it can get someone who isn't experienced with vaginal orgasm to finally go over the edge.
to all of you who are trying for that vaginal Big O, i wish you the best!!
Every time me and my boyfriend have sex , i have the most amazing orgasm. my body trembles abit and it feels absolutly amazing total extacy.
Every time me and my boyfriend have sex , i have the most amazing orgasm. my body trembles abit and it feels absolutly amazing total extacy.
i cna orgasm. Not form vaginal or anal intercource though. Only from clit stimulation like oral. i squirt too!
i feel pleasure, but i dont know if its an orgasm, it just never feels like its finished...is that right? because i know with a guy, they cum, orgasm then feel really relived, like an ending.
but iv never had it, when im masturbating i never really know when to end, i can be at it for hours and it doesnt feel finished.
have i even had an orgasm?!
iv had sex with over 10 guys and its been the same each time!
When you're masterbating, it feels good anyway, but when you have an orgasm you'll know. Its just a total immense feeling that brings you loads of emotion and pleasure and you just feel like screaming! You'll know when its over aswell, if you have one from your g spot and you keep going after a while it can start to feel slighlty uncomfortable, but you'll feel it ending anyway, and with one from your clit its a bit different because it feels good anyway but you'll still know when it ends as the feelings change, it won't feel as good anymore. hope that helps!
This happens to a lot of people. Have you ever just felt the pleasure heighten? Typically, when you orgasm, it's EXTREMELY different than just the pleasure you feel from sex or masturbation. In simple terms, it's like a complete explosion of pleasure, total euphoria. It's the relief of that build-up of heightened pleasure. Has it ever just felt sooooo good that you wanted to scream and squirm? Something totally different from the normal feeling of sex/masturbation? That, my friend, is an orgasm. It's like one of those things...When it happens, you'll know. You just have to find out what can give you an orgasm. Try something new, experiment until you find something right.
Hope this helps :)
i'm 17 and i've been with 2 guys so far and i've only had an orgasm once. the climax was crazy but i just can't seem to reach that during sex again. my bf and i have been together for 4 monthes now and i just want to know what i need to do to make sex better? he seems to think it's his fault that he can't make me climax. i don't masturbate often and have never orgasmed during masturbation either. what should i do?
its probably neither of your faults to be honest, when you have sex you're probably so worked up wondering if ur gonna have an orgasm or not and trying to make it good for you and him that you're probably getting stressed, just relax, take in everything thats happening concentrate on what hes doing to u and what ur feeling and it should happen, read the tips on here about how u can make it happen.
ok so im a youngster lol im jus bout 17 and me and my girl have been doin it for some months but idt ive gotten her to orgasm yet she moans and shakes but nothin like i expect an orgasm to b...she says it feels amazing so idt im doin nething wrong im jus not sure if she orgasming or jus moaning can neone gimme some advice to tell if it is or not
look for three things, if her eyes are dilated, if her toes are curled up and if she looks slightly paler, mostly because of the blood rush that accompanies an orgasm a girl will look paler and the toes are a tell tale sign and reaction and the eyes dilated is due to a release of endorphins
This works for me and may help someone. I have been married for 3 years and have only slept with my husband. When we first had sex I thought I was broken..I had high expectations of what penetration would feel like. I have always been able to have an orgasm by rubbing against the side of the couch or something hard. After awhile we figured out a technique that works for me everytime. Sex always feels good but I cannot orgasm with just penetration. Here's what works for us. We have sex until he gets close. Then I get on top and put it in. He puts his hand under me with his penis between two of his fingers. I move forward a bit to have his knuckle on my clit. I rub up and down on his hand and it feels great. It gives him a great feeling too. He will thrust for awhile then stop and then I go. I ALWAYS have a great oragasm this way and he gets soo turned on. He can move his hand now and then and grab my butt cheeks and thrust deep. Anyway, thats the only way I can oragasm. Maybe it will help someone else. Also I dont recommend you youngsters getting involved in a sexual relationship until you are older. It can do more damage than good. Hope this help someone. :-)
so i am not sure whether or not i have had an orgasm. there have been a few times were i think i have but i am not sure. it always seem like all the sudden i feel like i really need to pee. is that normal?
Only ever had that feeling once. Yes, it's normal. I say just relax and let go when you get that feeling. I kinda lost the feeling... I'd have liked to know what happened next.
Well yes, you should let go, but if you get (or want even ) that feeling often it is best to lay out towels beforehand. What happens to me is that I get that feeling and my bf keeps going for me, I release alot of liquid, now, yes it does come out of my uretha, and yes there is urine mixed in, just as there is urine mixed in when a man ejaculates. This is where the term squirting comes from because you literaly do squirt. It is a feeling that you will come to love in all honesty, and most of the time they guy loves making a woman cum that hard!!!
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