Female Orgasm
Before You Get Started
Some women seem to have an incredibly difficult time reaching orgasm during intercourse; that is if they are able to orgasm at all. The most common reason for this is that they don’t know their own bodies. Society has had this brilliant effect of instilling into our minds from childhood that masturbation is sinful, wrong and dirty. Well, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but all common sense dictates that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Thanks to this misconception, many people, especially women, have stopped themselves from learning their bodies, thereby reducing the chances of being able to fully enjoy sex. It is hard for many women to unlearn all that they have been taught, and they often feel that “touching themselves does not bring pleasure”. There is some truth behind that - they are not lying, they do not feel pleasure. However, this is not because there is no pleasure to be felt, just that they have been indirectly taught to not enjoy it. Getting beyond this will take time and patience, so never rush your partner.
If your woman has never had an orgasm (this is often the case if they say, "I think I’ve had one"), you will want to refer to the Female Masturbation Guide to get things started. Learning to please a woman who can’t orgasm on her own is extremely difficult, so we highly suggest that you start with getting her to play with herself, and allow her to learn how her body reacts to different stimulus.
The last note has to do with your approach. Orgasms can’t be forced, and the more pressure you put on her to cum, the less likely it is to happen. Take things slow, learn techniques, experiment with them and find what works. If you start getting frustrated when you aren’t seeing results, it will show, and unfortunately make it even harder. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable - as soon as you make it too serious, it takes away from the pleasure!
About Orgasms
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have - clitoral and G-spot (otherwise known as vaginal orgasms). When masturbating, women usually learn to get themselves off using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the whole world of vaginal orgasms untapped. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren't familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. While you learn to read your partner's body signs, it never hurts to ask a question, especially if you are trying new techniques.
Coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman's clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus. One can incorporate manual stimulation to the clitoris during sex, but this is not very necessary if your woman has had vaginal orgasms in the past, and if you know how to hit the g spot correctly. To learn more about positions and the G-spot, please refer to the G-spot article and Sex Positions section. No one wants to involve geometry into sex, but it is wise to know which positions stimulate the G spot the best. In order to help her achieve a vaginal orgasm, you need to make sure you are "hitting" the G-spot with each stroke.
Many men fantasize about the myth of female ejaculation. Well, for starters, its no myth, most women should theoretically be able to have them. The key is G-spot stimulation, but all of this is also well described in the article on Female Ejaculation.
Some Ideas on Getting Her There:
First of, we would like to remind you to relax, and not to make her orgasm the purpose behind the encounter. The more of a goal you make it; the less likely it is that it will happen. Relax and enjoy yourselves, as that is the most important part.
The Grind
During Intercourse, you want to increase the pressure exerted on the woman's clitoris. This can be accomplished by rotating your hips just like when you are "grinding" on a dance floor. Try to really push against the front of her groin with the area just above the penis. Rocking back and forth or side to side is a really good way of getting started.
Rule of Thumb
With the woman sitting on top, the man should lie flat on his back, pelvic tilted upward, and stomach muscles tightened. You want to arch your hips upwards to improve the quality of “the Grind”; this can be achieved easily by putting a pillow under the man’s bum. He then should put his hand over the woman’s pubic region, and place his thumb on the woman’s clitoris. While the woman is riding her partner, he can simultaneously stimulate her clitoris.
T Position
With the woman lying on her back, the man should lie perpendicularly (i.e., at a right angle to her, thus forming the ‘T’), while straddling the woman’s far leg. Depending on the woman’s flexibility, this can be a great position for deep penetration, while exposing the clitoris for manual stimulation. This double stimulation is very gratifying and can often lead to the big “O” really quickly.
The Maximizer
The woman lies on her back, legs tightly held together. The man lies on top, or stands/kneels, in front. Instead of being directly in line with her, the man should be at a slight diagonal. Both of her legs should be over one shoulder, or on one side, of his body; he should begin penetration. This position is designed to maximize female clitoral stimulation and is easiest to perform with the man standing or kneeling (i.e. the woman should have her legs hanging off a counter, couch or bed).
Using Sex Toys
Sex toys can be used in virtually any sexual position, and thanks to the creative people who design toys, if you can think of a toy, chances are its already made. If you have never used one, you can read our comprehensive section on buying and using Sex Toys. Then visit our online store to find products designed to increase stimulation during intercourse or masturbation. The following is a summary of some of the most popular types of toys:
Vibrating Clitoral Suckers
This class of products works as follows: put the cup part of the toy over the clitoral area, squeeze the pump a couple times to build up some suction, then turn on the vibrating egg, which is generally attached to the cup. The suction is great because it draws more blood to the clitoris, making it more sensitive, as well as it keeps the toy hands free. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensations, but some varieties may prove a little bulky for some positions.
Regular Vibrators
For those of you who are looking for something with a little more functionality, we recommend getting a regular vibrator. The can be held in place during intercourse to stimulate whatever you want, they can be inserted anally, and can be used on their own as well. They are available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and purposes.
Vibrating Cock Rings
This class of products is ingenious! The toy is basically a ring with one or more vibrating eggs attached. Simply slide it down the shaft of the penis, turn on the vibrating eggs, and voila, super pleasure for both parties.
Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex
Try Play O ... it is an unscented gel to be applied to the cllitoris and surrounding area. It uses a combination of ingredients designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring intense orgasms. We rated it a 8.5/10! Click here to check out our detailed review.
Is it possible for my gf to orgasm during dry humping. She wants to wait until marriage to have penetrating sex. I can feel how wet she is everytime but how can I tell if she is getting close to climax?
I don't really understand...I understand a little, but not really
was that to me or another comment?
how wud u really kno if ur havin an orgasm.... coming from a girl
umm becus i touch and finger myself on a daily basis i never get the BOOm BAng POW feeling i jus get wetter.... it feels good but idk nuthin ever happens...... i think that ive never had one... one becus idk i hav to sneak around and touch myself becus im still living at home and idk i think it wud be better if im able to explore my own body and find my own spots...
So what am i doing wrong????????????
find a time when youre alone. make sure everyones out of the house, this will make noise!! turn on the faucet in the bath tub, make sure its clean and not with anything too harsh. climb in with your cooch near the faucet, lift your cooch up and spread your lips, direct the water onto your clit, let the water work its magic. play around with this...its wonderful.
if u touch urself in places where u least expect it....or if u just try a different method..like using an object instead of ur finger....like a toothbrush or a cucumber. or something that would be very very nice to put inside u.....
i'm 18 n female i jus dnt understand it yes i enjoy sex n i think i orgasm but at the same time i dnt as i get such a head rush on my own but wen i'm doing it with my bf it's jus not the same rush what can i try n do to help ?
u need to fore play and the G spot activated
ftnger ruself to identify
and u cud guide him sexy
u will reeally pour a lot and ohhh my - ur whole body will feel the VIBS
luv to share sex thgts
andy
foru3961@yahoo.com
Okej, I´m 17 and i have a gf that´s 17 to. We have been together for 6 moth and having sex for like 5 or somthing.
But i just can´t get her to cum. Both of us lost the virginity to each other. I think that the problem is that she it thinking of cuming to much, and that it takes to long for her to cum and then she want´s me to stop because she don´t want me to be "trubbeld" any more, But i want to keep on going. we have tried both clitorial and vaginal. I just don´t know how to get her relaxed and let me take my time. i tryed to speak to her, but she keeps doing the same thing!
Please help! =(
I want to be able to make her cum.
/sorry for my bad English! :P
5 months?? Maybe u just aint doing it right, ur foreplay has to be in a certain rythum, u have to have a game plan, n i thnk u be too much nto haing fun n ur own satisfaction tht u totaly foget about her, i make any lady cum if i concentrate on her, tactic ma brada, tactic... everything counts, the way u stare, voice tone, speed, timing, breathing, so get ur act st8, coz im sure if ur gal were 2 get in2 da hands of sum1 tht makes her cum, she sure wont have a reason to stay wit u no mre
Honestly dude to me its just sounds like your foreplay... aint up to play... Foreplay is one of the best ways i reckon to get her A.. More comfortable and willing B... gets her ready for penetration without the need of lube C... its just so fun to watch as she twists and turns and moans while you tease her... So be a football player and LEARN TA PLAYZ!!!!
I've been with my bf almost a year now. We started having sex almost half a year ago. He's been tryin really hard to make me cum, I feel like he's the closest when he goes really fast when im sitting on him. But this jus usually leads to his cumin. I'm going to try a couple more things..but hopefully I can come!
my boyfriend is amazing in bed, like really amazing but i always seem to hold back from orgasm.
i'm not sure why, but from now on i'm just going to go for it.
Ok i have the hardest time enjoying sex at all. I cant use condoms or any kinds of lube It burns and Numbs me completly where i cant feel anything at all. I can Orgasm if I masterbate But My boyfriend cant get me off for nothing, also i have a hard time feeling that he's inside me and he is Most Deff not small at all His penis is almost longer then my face if that says anything. So we always have to use spit for Lube and No comdoms or ill get Extreamly dry and burning will start. he's tryed fingering that doesnt help nor does useing his toung I dont understand why i wont Orgasm. It's like i Have no feeling at all down there. I sometimes wonder and heard u can loose feeling from To much trama and Vibaration to your vagina which I ride horses 24/7 i dont know if thats true or not. so Pretty much my problem is I cant feel anything down there, and Lubes and Condoms cant be used. and everything we have tryed hasent worked.
It really makes my boyfriend feel bad sence he always gets the pleasure
Please help
hello rebel...
and to all you other girls
it is actually more common than you would think to have an allergic reaction to latex, and this would also indicate you probably have sensitive skin or an over-active immune system which could cause the lube irritation too. though check with a doctor...
as for not being able to feel him inside you (particularly) almost 75% (roughly) of the nerves inside a womans vagina are in the first 2.5cm or so... excluding the G spot (which is only sensative via arousal eg foreplay) and come of the cervix when pressurised (think doggy style deep) and thank GOD for that otherwise childbirth would hurt even more....
just relax enjoy yourself... if you're not using condoms have you tried something luby that is natural or normal like vasoline?
I have a kinda similar issue cept I can feel it at the very beginning of sex then my body goes entirely numb and sore condoms make my vulva itch so I can't use them either. I think my problem is partially from the fact that I have a very slight frame especially for my heighth and he has a large frame and well endowed Idk but it sounds like you may have been riding horses to much and perhaps you are allergic to lube I am but I am 16 so I just suffer the swelling and burning becuz my man doesnt want a kid.
Or it could be he has the perfect gift from god but lacks the instruction manual.... he might not be able to use himself in a way which effects you... Hmmm a toughy... looking for a doc is probably the smartest idea... but if he/she cant find anything wrong... i'd suggest you maybe you take it easy on the horse riding and see what happens... if al else fails... there are toyz...
well to tell you the truth i really cant feel my man inside of me either. i feel the pressure sometimes, i cannot feel when he comes inside me and that upsets me.....but it seems i have the opposite problem as you, i can only orgasm when we are having intercourse. and only so far when i am on top, i have only ever been able to get my self to o one time. and never with oral stimulation...any suggestions for me? i also ride horses.....so maybe we have a something in common...
Honestly, with such large issues I suggest talking to a doctor.
She or he will possibly be able to track down a reason and help out.
I came across a neat little trick a few months ago, i have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now and just used this technique on her last night because I completey forgot about it. And i'll tell ya, this technique is going to be loved by all you couples if your girlfriend/wife has a hardtime reaching an orgasm. My girlfriend finds it hard, and i gave her 7 orgasms in under 2 minutes. Sounds impossible doesnt it? Heres what you do, first raise your right hand palm facing you, then push your middle finger and the finger to its left toward you. Use that hand position to insert into your girlfriends vagina,with the pinky and index finger below her vagina and the two middle ones inside her. The next thing you want to do is to use your left hand, press down on her pelvis, and then use the hand with your fingers inside her to move up and down, not in and out, but up and down. This is a massage technique that stimulates here pressure point a.k.a g-spot. within 20 seconds she should have an orgasm no problem. If you do these steps correctly on your female partner, making her have an orgasm will be not only a walk in the park, but you will mostl definitely have to change the sheets after your done with her. Hope this tip has helped and will help all you couples out there. Enjoy :)
well basicly my girlfriend and i have been toether for a year now, and we have been havin sex for quite some time. i have been trying to make her cum in every way possible i have stimulated her clitoricly, and massaged her G-spot aswell as eatting her out i know im doin it well since she moans and sticks my head down there and tells me to not stop. so the only problem is that after letz say 15-20 minutes of that a white substances comes out from her vagina and she tells me she feels like peeing or dat it tickles her so i havta stop since i she closes up on me. i have told her to relax and just to let herself go, but according to her da peeing sensation as well as da tickling sensation r too strong to e ignore, please if any1 can help me out i would be ever so thankful i just want my girl to enjoy sex as much as possible. with out havin those sensations.thank you.
it is most likly she has reached a point in her sexual experiance where she is VERY sensitive.. this can work two ways... one it feels so good for her and she will tightn up so it will also feel good for ya if your inside her cause damn... trust me... Or Two sh will become OVERly sensitve which in this case.. ya need to stop being so freaking good at what you do ...
shes afraid she will pee on you and it begins to be painful bc we feel like we need something. Reassure her that if she does pee on you won't care, but that you don't think she will. It's important that you use the word pee, bc if she thinks you just mean its ok to feel that way you haven't solved her fear. You could also reassure by saying that she may the first time but once she gets used to it she wont, and again tell her you dont care if it happens by accident.
Hey all need if possible a help/guide on me and my gf with her pleasure.
first of all, i will mention that my gf cannot either cum or orgasm in any such way whether it would be solo or me giving g-spot (which cant find) and/or clitoral stimulation.
What happens is she will get to a point during oral stimulation that she will get to a point where it would "tickle too much" (becomes intensely over-sensitive) thus for stopping and not being able to continue oral pleasure, this same situation happens whilst using a vibrator aswell, plus it doesnt help that i am a premature ejaculature.
Any ways of helping?
Any help is much appreciated
One evening while lying in bed performing cunnilingus on my girlfriend, I tried something new. As I often do, I had my arms wrapped around her hips and over her pelvis while I was giving her pussy a tongue lashing and flicking my tongue around her clitoris. This time, after she came I held firmly on to her hips, and kept my lips close to her clit, but without touching it, since it had naturally become quite sensitive.
She began to struggle to get free of my grip, thinking that I might continue licking her. I just continued to hold her hips fast.
While she recovered from the orgasm over the next minute or so, I breathed softly on her clitoris, alternately heating it with my hot breath and cooling it as I inhaled. After I felt that she had calmed down enough so that her clitoris was no longer oversensitive, I started gently licking around it again. Before long before she came for the second time.
Still tightly holding onto her hips while she yet again struggled to get free, I waited for her to calm down once more before I resumed licking around her clitoris. Soon she was getting -really- excited, and started yelling FUCK ME! FUCK ME!
I had never heard a woman utter those words so insistently before, so I did what I was told without asking any questions. :O) In short order my girlfriend came powerfully with a vaginal orgasm, before shoving me forcefully away from and out of her.
It was an OH MY GOD experience for both of us. It was the first time that I'd given a woman three orgasms in a row, or experienced one having a vaginal ejaculation. My girlfriend was absolutely spent, done for the night. It felt good to satisfy her so completely.
To me, when my girlfriend ejaculated vaginally it felt like the bottom of her vagina had changed from being smooth and well lubricated to bumpy, like the papillae of a tongue, almost instantly.
Some time later, so it wouldn't spoil the novelty, we tried it again at her request, and once more she had two clitoral orgasms followed by a vaginal ejaculation coupled with a powerful third orgasm.
About a year after that, my girlfriend brought a girlfriend of hers to our house for a threesome. During a night of hot three-way sex I tried the technique with her, and astonishingly, she reacted in the same way as my girlfriend. It made me feel like the Tongue Master. :-P՞
Sex should never be a routine, so it's important to constantly try different things to pleasure the woman you love. I hope someone will give this a try, and hopefully have as much pleasure with it as my girlfriend and I have had.
and also if u put your hand on your girlfriends lower stomach while she is on top of you or while you are fingering her you can make her squirt. i didnt think it was really possible for a female to squirt til it happend to me
All i can say is... Jealous much.... Meh your good with your tounge... i let my fingers do the talking ^ ^
I agree completely! all your comments are amazing and she is DEFINATLY a lucky girl, Tongue master :P.
I just sent my Boyfriend your comment - he's all for it, and can't wait! Neither can I... Thanks a ton!
i have read a few of your posts and damn you sound amazing......your girlfriend is really lucky. I thought you deserved a compliment from a stranger :)
My gf and i have have been doing mutual masturbation for about a month and more ;) and i seem to orgasm/cum/ejaculate everytime. But she has not orgasmed yet and it really frustrates that she cant. I just want to make her feel as good as i do. Please, any advice?
Well, first of all you certainly should try doing as Scuzzi said. Scuzzi, You ARE a Tongue Master :) Thanks for sharing that.
Once I had a girlfriend who had never had vaginal orgasms. I managed to "heal" her that way:
When I performed cunnilingus I tried to stimulate her G-spot with my fingers in the same time. And when having ordinary sex she was also stimulating her clitor. And after some time she really began to experience vaginal orgasm. So you also can try this technics, it really works. I was told about it by one of the escort girls I use frequently. It might seem funny but I use London escorts not only to have sex but to get new useful info concerning sex relations. As for me, they are the best teachers ever.
My suggestion is
GO SOUTH, YOUNG MAN!
Go down on her.
I had orgams once and thats it. What should i do to have it?
Also i would suggest to further explore your body because you can find spots that you find extremely arousing. For example someones neck is a known place that is a good turn on.
you should try stimulating your clit, with me it leads to really intense orgasms and makes me moan alot lol. but you could also try stimulating your g spot, if you can find it...
Let me ask some questions.I sometimes last only about 10 minutes or so.But mainly it's because i pound my Girlfriend Pussy too hard!I don't take my time.I mean im going to Cum regardless.So for me it's all about her Cumming when we Fuck.Is it really hard for a Female to Cum in 10 minutes with just hard Sex?Can she Cum if i go slow as well?I just wan't to please her so much.I told her to tell me the Truth if i make her Cum.So far she has told me the Truth.But i still wan't her to have a more intense Orgasm.Any suggestions?Thanks.
I get on top off my boyfriend and ride him slowly rubbing my clit against him it drives him crazy then we go a little faster and i always cum then he does a little after all within 15 minutes. Play with her before sex.
Slow down, bro!
First and foremost, fucking isn't the surest way of giving a woman an orgasm. Make sure she's in the mood! Take her out, buy her a bouquet of flowers for no reason. Call her at work to tell her you love her. Give her a massage, touch her all over, listen to her. Then try going down on her for as long as she wants. Don't even worry about your orgasm - that might happen after she's had hers, and she cools down for a while before concentrating on you. You never know.
My girlfriend has suggested that when I go down on her, I don't go straight for her clitoris, but flick my tongue around it, instead. Really, the same can go for us guys. The head of our penis can be much more sensitive than the shaft.
Good luck! Lots of practice helps.
OK, im really trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm and staying in the exact motion/rhythm when i see that im hitting her spots but it dosnt work. I think ive been getting better at it but now every time she gets too excited she tells me to stop because she thinks she has to pee??? Ive been going though pages of comments about this but i cant find a real answer.
Should i tell her to just go with it when she gets the feeling??? Is that the path to an orgasm??? or can she really pee on me if i keep going???
Can someone clarify this for me...........i just want her to feel amazing when we make love.
carry on doing what youre doing, like the other comment said, she might be a squirter cause when a woman is gonna come it usually feels like she needs to pee.
try fingering her clit in circels. Try a clitoral orgasm. Those feel great. You can try maybe like a doggy style and try reaching under and stimulate her clit or if shes ontop finger her with your thumb. If she thinks she feel like she'll pee she might be a squirter. There might be a few traces of urin so idk if your into that. But thats up to you
ok so i cant get my girlfriend to cum when we have sex. i try so hard and im pretty sure its not that im bad in bed cause i can go for around 45 minutes strong and we've tried ribbed condoms and different positions and its really disappointing when after 45 minutes i finally cum and we decide to stop and afterward she is like i didnt cum. what do i do??
I hear a disconnect in my head between "i try so hard and im pretty sure its not that im bad in bed..." and "cause i can go around for 45 minutes strong..."
It's not about trying hard, or being hard for 45 minutes. It's about pleasing her. So why not concentrate just on your girlfriend next time?
First, get her in the mood. Touch her, talk and listen to her. Give her a full-body massage. Get her to relax and forget about sexual or other anxieties she may have. Don't be afraid to ask her what she would like you to do to please her.
Many women can't even have an orgasm from intercourse, so I definitely recommend cunnilingus. Try some of the positions that help stimulate the clitoris during intercourse, if you haven't already. Once she has an orgasm, she'll make sure you cum as well.
my man knew he was my first everything- so was more than happy to do anything to make me feel good. i can only cum through oral sex, and even that takes a while. i like to fantasies about my man being addicted to my pussy and eating it all day. i really have to concentrate to cum. hes made me have multiple orgasms twice now. it felt like one orgasm after the other but instead it being all sensitive straight away i had another one, and another. to make my orgasms really intense i like to grab his hair and bury his face into my pussy when it all comes out. he licks it all up slowly and can go on for ages until i'm all cleaned up.
I don't know a man that doesn't like to have his lover grab his hair and jam his face into her pussy. It's definitely a big turn-on of mine.
i would like to ask how may i know that i am about to cum? that are those signs? i dont know also if i already cum or not as it was my first time in sex with my husband.
men and women are different. they think differently and don't understand each other. there is a lot of pressure for both men and women to be sexual in our culture. women often have more concerns about sex and their ability to perform well. men/boys just want to figure out what to say/do to women/girls to get them to allow them to get in their panties. women either don't know what it takes to get them off or they think men automatically do know how. men get aroused much quicker and get to orgasm at light speed compared to women. if men are bad lovers, they have no clue about all of this and blame any lack of success on the woman/girl and maybe she even believes it. if you have an orgasm you will know it. if you don't, find another lover because the one you have is not good enough for you. also figure out what you like and make sure your next lover asks or does it without asking.
can anyone suggest any other positon tha wil help me make her come, becuaude goin on the side is gettin a bit tiering n i love making tha girl screem so if any1 could help i wud appreciate it :)
I'm 14 and a virgin, and the only way I can seem to orgasm is to hump my bed. Whenever I rub my clit, it feels nice, but I never orgasm. And I tried a vibrator yesterday, and it hurt.
yea its ok for a girl to use a vib before sex and no u will have a orgasm jus dnt rush it in let the feeling come to you
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