Female Orgasm
Before You Get Started
Some women seem to have an incredibly difficult time reaching orgasm during intercourse; that is if they are able to orgasm at all. The most common reason for this is that they don’t know their own bodies. Society has had this brilliant effect of instilling into our minds from childhood that masturbation is sinful, wrong and dirty. Well, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but all common sense dictates that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Thanks to this misconception, many people, especially women, have stopped themselves from learning their bodies, thereby reducing the chances of being able to fully enjoy sex. It is hard for many women to unlearn all that they have been taught, and they often feel that “touching themselves does not bring pleasure”. There is some truth behind that - they are not lying, they do not feel pleasure. However, this is not because there is no pleasure to be felt, just that they have been indirectly taught to not enjoy it. Getting beyond this will take time and patience, so never rush your partner.
If your woman has never had an orgasm (this is often the case if they say, "I think I’ve had one"), you will want to refer to the Female Masturbation Guide to get things started. Learning to please a woman who can’t orgasm on her own is extremely difficult, so we highly suggest that you start with getting her to play with herself, and allow her to learn how her body reacts to different stimulus.
The last note has to do with your approach. Orgasms can’t be forced, and the more pressure you put on her to cum, the less likely it is to happen. Take things slow, learn techniques, experiment with them and find what works. If you start getting frustrated when you aren’t seeing results, it will show, and unfortunately make it even harder. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable - as soon as you make it too serious, it takes away from the pleasure!
About Orgasms
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have - clitoral and G-spot (otherwise known as vaginal orgasms). When masturbating, women usually learn to get themselves off using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the whole world of vaginal orgasms untapped. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren't familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. While you learn to read your partner's body signs, it never hurts to ask a question, especially if you are trying new techniques.
Coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman's clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus. One can incorporate manual stimulation to the clitoris during sex, but this is not very necessary if your woman has had vaginal orgasms in the past, and if you know how to hit the g spot correctly. To learn more about positions and the G-spot, please refer to the G-spot article and Sex Positions section. No one wants to involve geometry into sex, but it is wise to know which positions stimulate the G spot the best. In order to help her achieve a vaginal orgasm, you need to make sure you are "hitting" the G-spot with each stroke.
Many men fantasize about the myth of female ejaculation. Well, for starters, its no myth, most women should theoretically be able to have them. The key is G-spot stimulation, but all of this is also well described in the article on Female Ejaculation.
Some Ideas on Getting Her There:
First of, we would like to remind you to relax, and not to make her orgasm the purpose behind the encounter. The more of a goal you make it; the less likely it is that it will happen. Relax and enjoy yourselves, as that is the most important part.
The Grind
During Intercourse, you want to increase the pressure exerted on the woman's clitoris. This can be accomplished by rotating your hips just like when you are "grinding" on a dance floor. Try to really push against the front of her groin with the area just above the penis. Rocking back and forth or side to side is a really good way of getting started.
Rule of Thumb
With the woman sitting on top, the man should lie flat on his back, pelvic tilted upward, and stomach muscles tightened. You want to arch your hips upwards to improve the quality of “the Grind”; this can be achieved easily by putting a pillow under the man’s bum. He then should put his hand over the woman’s pubic region, and place his thumb on the woman’s clitoris. While the woman is riding her partner, he can simultaneously stimulate her clitoris.
T Position
With the woman lying on her back, the man should lie perpendicularly (i.e., at a right angle to her, thus forming the ‘T’), while straddling the woman’s far leg. Depending on the woman’s flexibility, this can be a great position for deep penetration, while exposing the clitoris for manual stimulation. This double stimulation is very gratifying and can often lead to the big “O” really quickly.
The Maximizer
The woman lies on her back, legs tightly held together. The man lies on top, or stands/kneels, in front. Instead of being directly in line with her, the man should be at a slight diagonal. Both of her legs should be over one shoulder, or on one side, of his body; he should begin penetration. This position is designed to maximize female clitoral stimulation and is easiest to perform with the man standing or kneeling (i.e. the woman should have her legs hanging off a counter, couch or bed).
Using Sex Toys
Sex toys can be used in virtually any sexual position, and thanks to the creative people who design toys, if you can think of a toy, chances are its already made. If you have never used one, you can read our comprehensive section on buying and using Sex Toys. Then visit our online store to find products designed to increase stimulation during intercourse or masturbation. The following is a summary of some of the most popular types of toys:
Vibrating Clitoral Suckers
This class of products works as follows: put the cup part of the toy over the clitoral area, squeeze the pump a couple times to build up some suction, then turn on the vibrating egg, which is generally attached to the cup. The suction is great because it draws more blood to the clitoris, making it more sensitive, as well as it keeps the toy hands free. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensations, but some varieties may prove a little bulky for some positions.
Regular Vibrators
For those of you who are looking for something with a little more functionality, we recommend getting a regular vibrator. The can be held in place during intercourse to stimulate whatever you want, they can be inserted anally, and can be used on their own as well. They are available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and purposes.
Vibrating Cock Rings
This class of products is ingenious! The toy is basically a ring with one or more vibrating eggs attached. Simply slide it down the shaft of the penis, turn on the vibrating eggs, and voila, super pleasure for both parties.
Play O (UTOPIA) Orgasmic Gel by Durex
Try Play O ... it is an unscented gel to be applied to the cllitoris and surrounding area. It uses a combination of ingredients designed to stimulate, increase desire and bring intense orgasms. We rated it a 8.5/10! Click here to check out our detailed review.
I've had girls tell me a few different things... a million bees buzzing through your skin, like diving in a warm swimming pool, like when you breath laughing gas, or (this one was something I can relate to as some music gives me chills) it feels like a orchestra starting to play a song slowly and it builds and builds until it's a symphony and the adrenaline surges through your body and you want to run, lay down, laugh, cry, just stare into your partners eyes and feel like everything ells turned black and doesn't exist... in short on the last one I think she was saying an orgasm feels like love.
that sounds like something that happened on this movie 'because i said so' its a good one =]yeah its really hard to explain an orgasm. my mates described it to me as an explosion, n to me that sounded scary and painful!
i do beleive that was on a movie. like three sisters and a mother something like that i know what your talking about but idk.
I have a problem. i cant seem to penetrate. when i was having sex with my boyfriend it felt like i was gonna pee. is that weird or is that some kind of orgasam or something? please i wanna know if its just me
It could be female ejaculation... ive heard its supposed to feel like that. if thats the case then your boy will probably be fine with it. it makes guys feel good when they can get their partner off.
Specifically, I studied elsewhere that women often feel a strong urge that they need/will urinate with "G" spot stimulation. I've read (and believe) that it is impossible to orgasm and urininate at the same time. My wife and I go their every time we make out - and she hasn't tinkled yet. Her "squirting" is off the scale, especially when getting clitoral head at the same time.
Well yeah but everytime i get that feeling i tell him to stop and i think i hurt his feelings :(
dont ever tell him to stop just let ur self go if u need to pee then tell him u need to pee but dont make him stop let him go at it till u no uve orgasmed
did you tell him that's why you wanted him to stop? most guys would prolly assume they were hurting you or you didn't like it. if you just say "stop" then he thinks its bad if you say "stop, that was soooo good!" and smile and kiss him as you say it then he know's he did good... in my opinion the best sex toy when you have a partner is communication.
always my girl likes to come orgasm , when I licking her pussy, normally I lick here pussy more than 10 min. she get the real feeling from that.
my gf got multiple orgasm after i use the techniques learned
I think i'm one of the very few people who has a gf that can only really cum vaginally. I don't think i've ever made her cum through stimulation of the clitoris... it's too sensitive for her. She likes it, but it's too much. Also, I never have trouble making my gf cum. I feel sorry for those who have girlfriends who have trouble cumming but I read a good comment by Iamsexy which is that girls like it when they feel fully desired and sexy. I definitely agree with that from experience. I can say that my gf orgasms easiest when we are in a full embrace, when she feels much closer to me and i'm more throughly touching her. Those kinds of acts show a much more thorough sexual desire as opposed to simplistic, cold penetration. You need to do more than just fuck her. Put your all into it. It'll happen.
me n my gf love to fuck, we get it in everyday but i was just wondering wat are some of the best positions for her to have a vaginal orgasm? I want her to feel pretty much the full effects of wat we do but i havnt made her cum thru vaginal intercourse, just oral. i wanna make her squirt wit my dick like i can wit my mouth haha reply w/ detailed descriptions cuz i really wanna make dis happen.
It's great to hear from men who want their women to have more pleasure. That is awesome.
Now, does it *have* to be a vaginal orgasm or are you mainly trying to achieve simultaneous orgasms? It's just that it's a lot easier for most women to have a clitoral orgasm, and this can happen during penetration (though it could perhaps technically be a combo clitoral-vaginal orgasm, I'm not sure what it's called but anyway it worked pretty well for me). You need to be doing three things at once (making you an official Sex Champion, in my book anyway). Obviously start with whatever foreplay you want but for the penetration, try Reverse Missionary position* while you *simultaneously* orally stimulate her breasts/nipples (i.e. sucking/licking/stroking), AND manually stimulate her clitoris (listen to her as to whether you need to go harder or softer here - the clitoris is super-sensitive, especially to fingers). (*This "tripple whammy" that is so awesome for the woman - well, for me anyway - can also be managed, if she has large enough breasts, in a kind of in-between Spoon & Rear Entry position that isn't illustrated on this site - it's basically spooning but she's more on her stomach with her top half turned back towards you and one leg bent up but flat on the bed - where you can get your mouth to reach her breast - she will need to hold her breast for you to lick/suck; it might also helps if she puts her bum in the air, at least at first, with a pillow underneath her lower stomach). (You might not be able to do the oral breast thing in this position for too long, I imagine it's probably a bit uncomfortable on the man's neck - it's ok to take breaks, of course.)
I hope some of that helps, anyhow. :)
ive gotten to eat my gf out...but she hasn't gotten an orgasam yet...ive tried lots of things..but i need something that works the best
my best advice it to take your time. slowly tease her and as she starts to respond to what your doing slightly speed up each time she starts to respond more and more. I've been down on my Gf for ove a half an hour once and she had one of the best climax's she's ever had. start slow and end strong. hope this helps :)
Ok, I am a vrgin but I accidently broke my hymen in a bysicle adcident...But that's beside the point can only cum some times with a tooth brush vibration level on my clit any other way it's imposible for me...And i cant lay down and do that before hand thing...I don'tm know why... and it's making my clit look along wit the rest of my viginia all most wrickly and annoying but masturbation is so addicting/ I get REALY grumpy if I don't at least once a month..
you and me both. this is why i'm a vibe/hand held massager type
So, im new to the whole sex thing and im loving it but at the same time im seriously hating it. ive had sex maybe like 4 or 5 times (only with 2 boys) and i havent experienced an orgasm. and i hate having to fake it to my boyfriend even though i think he already knows i havent had one yet. when i do have sex with him i get all self conscious so i think that has something to do with me not having one. i heard having an orgasm is A M A Z I N G and i really want to know for myself. any advise?
Your right! Being self conscious can contribute to your ability to orgasm! If he is sleeping with you, he is aroused by you!! Its easy to just type "don't be self conscious" but its really something you have to do! I didn't become real relaxed with my body or what I'm doing until I had my first few 'one night stands', these really allow you to let yourself go, bc you know it won't matter tmrw!
To justify 'faking an orgasm', just think about the phrase 'faking till you make it'. This works bc the more you fake it, the more real it seems to those around you, thus build your confidence, their response to that will turn you on and make you less self consious. Try to moan uncontrollably even though duh its not that crazy, but he will freak out and start hitting you harder or smile! Pay attention to his facial reactions, you'll learn what he really likes. And this will make you feel good about yourself, bc whether your faking those moans he's loving it! (But nevvver tell them u fake or are faking)
Try delaying the moment, say something like "I want to play with you for thirty tonight so I'll be extra wet for you" he won't say no!! He WILL try to start before the thirty is over, but be firm! Use teasing, to counter 'baby pleaaaaase let me suck you juuuust a little longer!' The longer you do things like this the more the guy gets excited and gets desperate for you. You will feel sexy and powerful and it will make it easier for you to put those bad thoughts out of mind.
Try thinking only about yourself, push him around! Put his hands on your breasts, or moan things like 'squeeze my tits baby' (or whatever makes you feel best). Get into positions that put as much pressure on your clit (the very top of the triangle thats your vag) as possible. If you have only one goal, to get yourself off or to give yourself as much pleasure as possible, thats going to really turn him on bc clearly you'll enjoy the sex more! Either way the guys going to cum and it'll feel great for the both of you.
Another way to let go of your self consciousness is if your really, really, horny. If you want to try a test run of this, I recomend some playtime prior to the sex. If you are too self conscious to do it in front of him then when you two have an op to have sex go to the bathroom or spare bedroom (if your worried about time pretend to take a long shower) then masturbate by rubbing your clit, and thinking sexy thoughts (this can even be you wearing hot clothes, or that feeling you got when you really felt hot) hell once you feel all riled up you wont care about anything! If your in a bedroom and have cell call him into the room where your pleasuring yourself, he'll light up like no tmrw! And you can't help but feel sexy! Oh yeah then fuck his brains out :)
I don't feel like "fake it to make it" is the best approach to make to this. I was very upfront with my boyfriend. I told him I hadn't orgasmed and I wasn't sure I could. He, like most guys, took this as a challenge. My very high sex drive meant sex daily. At least once, every day. It took him a good two months to get me to orgasm. He was my fifth sexual partner and the only one who could. You should be honest. Don't fake. You should relax and don't concern yourself with coming. I had accepted the fact I couldn't orgasm so it was a complete and total surprise when I finally did. And this was after having sex at least sixty times, not counting the other guys.
Thanks 'vrycherry333' You were really helpful :D
i can only seem to make my girlfriend come with her dildo, im about the same size and thickness as it. Its a rabbit so does have the vibrating thing on it. She say's i;ve made her come before but i know i haven't, only with the vibrator i have. I was able to make my old gf come with just my cock, any tips or anything which i should take into consideration?
Try asking her!! Many times women want to tell men to try something but are afraid too!
Clitoral stimulation is easiest way to make a girl achieve. The main reason women sometimes can't during sex is bc the majority of the positions dont have enough clitoral action. (For instance riding, if she's only jumping up and down, she needs to be grinding, as in once all the way down, where theres no separation, pull her forward at an angle (make her lean forward)and pull her ass forward with pressure)this is actually making her clit rub up against th top of your groin or lower abdomen, keep doing that over and over. During positions that are physically impossible to have her clit rubbing you in some fashion, put your thumb at the top of the triangle of her vag (the clit) and rub, try doing it in a slow timed motion.
Sometimes this can be difficult to do, but try to stop intermittently during sex to go down on her, or just kiss, finger her, rub her down there. Then hop on it again. This offers variation for her and allows you a chance to calm down a little bit making you last longer (if its the same for too long we lose feeling! not like numb, but something kinda like it)
Try a slow rhythm. Most men primarily move back and forth at a fast past. This doesn't allow for rhthym or variation. Make your thrusts long (duration) pushes and deliberate, ex: Slowing down and doing things like two strokes in, pull out and dip in, repeat. This slow rhythym will give her a pattern, this will let her know when to push back against you, once she gets the pattern you will both be pushing towards one another at the same time, this is much more pleasurable than one person doing all the movement. (Constant fast penetration, doesn't really allow her to move forward or rub her clit on anything)
I can only orgasm when i am on top, and i want to be able to orgasm when he is pleasuring me orally and i cant, how do i let myself go enough to have one when he is doing it?? he is always saying he wants me to orgasm but i cant unless i am on top...i feel bad when i cant any other way. what do i do??
is he doing it right? help him out. if its only when youre on top then get on top during oral. have him lay down, get some pillows to support his head so he can look down comfortably, climb on top with you facing the ceiling and have him do his thing. or do it with you sitting up sit with your back against the wall and he goes at it. have him stick his fingers in you and do a "come hither" motion with his palm facing up, rest his chin on his palm and have him lick. it might be difficult at first but it will be great. then after youve recovered from your orgasm do what he wants. its a lot of fun and it feels great.
That happends to me sometimes but, in all why dont you try this one do the missionary position but, bend your legs up on his chest have him start out slow and deep and when you start getting the tickle kinda feeling have him so faster hmmmm omg i love that one lol
and i wish you luck :)
I have a problem.... I want to have an orgasm so badly and I can't. So many people say that it is the best feeling ever. But I have no clue what it feels like. There are times that I feel like I have to pee so badly, is that a feeling that I am going to have one? I am also living with my boyfriend in his parents house. And there room is right underneath ours, so that is a problem too... How do I just let go and have one, I trust him, and love him, and I want to give him the satisfaction of giving me pleasure. HELP ME!!!! What do I need to do?
Yes the peeing sensation can be a sign of orgasm! But the problem is you might accidently pee! You can try moving to the shower once you get this sensation just in case it happens, or tell him you think you could have an amazing orgasm and then ask something like 'would you hate me if i did accidently do it'. Lol he won't, he'll want you to do it bc it'll excite him when you orgasm, so just be prepared and put down some old blankets.
Your always going to have a problem at the folks place bc you cant be loud and go out of control, even faking a few screams will make you excited because he will start fucking you harder and it will turn you on that you turn him on.
Try focusing only on your own pleasure, he's going to love it no matter what your thinking in your mind. If you begin to feel bored or unexcited, take the lead and move into a new position.
See its weird if i think about ME ME ME I cant get anywhere close to coming and if he were to ASK me am i cuming i cant it takes WAY longer and makes me frustrated and if i talk about HIM cuming shit he comes faster lol i have to try to think about things like NOT making to much noise cause of ower son( when i cum im not quiet) and i know from reading about it that if u think of i have to cum i need it when is it gonna happen it dont
Most men have no idea how the female orgasm works. If your girl is unhappy in any way whatsoever, she will not have an orgasm. This is because the female orgasm consists of more than just touching. Women need to feel comfortable all the way around in order to want to have an orgasm. Make her feel comfortable, sexy and desired and you will get what you are looking for. All women want to feel this way, so do it and she will be putty in your hands.
ok, so me and my boyfriend are in a difficult situation....long distance relationship and things are great considering. we have recently started having phone sex basically, while we masterbate. anyhow my concern is that, if i continue doing this, that when we are able to be together again, that he will not be able to make me orgasm.....
Your likely to be right! It's not necessarily the repetitive masturbation, more the lack of practice. The more familiar you are with each other, used to how each other move, moan, and just overall 'how you like it' then your going to orgasm more easily. Without that practice the first time will probably be fast and disappointing. Just fuck him continuously! This builds up his stamina, (unless he's not putting any effort in at all) and makes him last longer, allowing you more time to really find that spot that makes you feel good. When you have sex with while he's thrusting into you, try to angle your body in a way that allows for the top triangle part of your vag (the clit) to hit is body or if you can't put your own thumb on your clit and rub it.
Long distance tip, get a webcam/mic! *if your not afraid of being recorded masturbating, bc he probably will
i dont know wether this is orgasm or no. after several times of trial during masturbation. i felt my pc muscles contracts my heart beats inxreases my brain feels like getting exploded then i v more contraction till i cannot feel my hands my muscles keep contracting till i reach the ultimate and the contraction get lesser but still strong. this feeling lasts for few minutes. my question is that is this orgasm?
Yes, if you can tell a difference between the actually good feeling you get by doing it, and that one moment that takes a lot of rubbing, is an orgasm. So during sex, try focusing on making your clit rub up against him during his thrusts, try leaning forward in certain positions, or put your hand there and do it yourself when hes too far away.
There is another way to orgasm, vaginally. That means you don't have to be rubbing your clit, nor he either. I can't offer a lot of advice on this as its really hard for me to get off this way!
yes....yes that is indeed an orgasm...
tx u for yr answer
I dont know if it is just me, but my bf can make me orgasm by just playing with my breasts. Sometimes if I am hyper sensitive he can do it by giving me a hicky and sucking on my earlobes. And my ex could do the same.
I can only reach orgasm by using a vibrator. I can't use my hands and even if I did or anything else, I usually can't reach a full orgasm.
I am currently involved and happy with my partner who I have known for a really long time now, and we already made the decision to wait until marriage to have sexual relations... (well, the actual act...)
If I do reach orgasm, with my partner it's only one (yes, just one pulse...) albeit weak, but I can tell that it did occur nonetheless
My fear about this is, I know he wants to please me by any means possible, but I'm just so scarred and worried that I may not be able to come to him fully. ...we've discussed oral sex several times, but I'm a bit hesitant to try. What if I can't open up to him?
Is there something wrong with me?
Since I were child I use the Masturbation , that mean from 7 or 8 years old . I feel I had a hight sexual emotion ..
when I use to have sex I didn't able to have orgasm with sex . my boyfriend try many time and many position but i can't reach to it .
I'm now 31 and want to doing with my fingure or above my boyfriend leg...
please help to me to reach to orgasm by sex.
Thank you
Sandra
the best position me and my girlfriend do for her to get orgasms quick, would have to be the drill,
it stimulates the g spot, and i can play with her clit at the same time,
feels great for me too :]
I love masturbation..not sinful just all natural thing to do. this is my favorite substitute boyfriend, when my man is locked up in prison.
<3byrdy
i know how u feel!
hi!
i want to ask someting. it will help my research. when you masturbate or in intercorse, did you check your PC muscles? when your arosual level is increaseing do you feel some involuntary pc contraction? are they goes longer and stronger? and then a final spazm about a few secound before orgazm?
if you explain i can undersand easly.
thank you for you help.
i dont no if this is weird or if i should be very concerned about this but everytime i have a orgasm i have a anxiety attack and sometimes it get really bad last time my boyfriend and i had sex my anxiety got so bad it got to the point to i almost couldnt breathe. is it normal for some women to have anxiety when they have a orgasm?
so my gspot doesnt really do anything is it that im not putting enough pressure on it
Ok this article says alot about how its hard to get a girl to orgasm if she cant make herself orgasm. Personally I think that's a bit untrue, cuz yes I masturbate occasionally but I can NEVER get myself very aroused or even anywhere close to orgasm. BUT when my boyfriend fingers me, eats me out, plays w/ my breasts, w/e it feels immeasurably better and I actually get all shaky and my knees turn to jelly and I start panting. Granted, neither of us have never made eachother cum due to lack of time and privacy, but I get ALOT closer when it's him doing it instead of me.
Yeah, same. I can't arouse myself very much with my fingers or even a dildo. But it's a different story when my boyfriend eats me or even fingers me. I start shaking and scream out occasionally. It's just not as exciting when we do it ourselves :P
Is it possible for my gf to orgasm during dry humping. She wants to wait until marriage to have penetrating sex. I can feel how wet she is everytime but how can I tell if she is getting close to climax?
I don't really understand...I understand a little, but not really
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