Before You Get Started
Some women seem to have an incredibly difficult time reaching orgasm during intercourse; that is if they are able to orgasm at all. The most common reason for this is that they don’t know their own bodies. Society has had this brilliant effect of instilling into our minds from childhood that masturbation is sinful, wrong and dirty. Well, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but all common sense dictates that this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Thanks to this misconception, many people, especially women, have stopped themselves from learning their bodies, thereby reducing the chances of being able to fully enjoy sex. It is hard for many women to unlearn all that they have been taught, and they often feel that “touching themselves does not bring pleasure”. There is some truth behind that - they are not lying, they do not feel pleasure. However, this is not because there is no pleasure to be felt, just that they have been indirectly taught to not enjoy it. Getting beyond this will take time and patience, so never rush your partner.
If your woman has never had an orgasm (this is often the case if they say, "I think I’ve had one"), you will want to refer to the Female Masturbation Guide to get things started. Learning to please a woman who can’t orgasm on her own is extremely difficult, so we highly suggest that you start with getting her to play with herself, and allow her to learn how her body reacts to different stimulus.
The last note has to do with your approach. Orgasms can’t be forced, and the more pressure you put on her to cum, the less likely it is to happen. Take things slow, learn techniques, experiment with them and find what works. If you start getting frustrated when you aren’t seeing results, it will show, and unfortunately make it even harder. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable - as soon as you make it too serious, it takes away from the pleasure!
There are two major types of orgasms a women can have - clitoral and G-spot (otherwise known as vaginal orgasms). When masturbating, women usually learn to get themselves off using their clitoris. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves the whole world of vaginal orgasms untapped. Many women are unable to climax during intercourse, as they aren't familiar enough with the stimulation to enjoy it to its fullest extent. While you learn to read your partner's body signs, it never hurts to ask a question, especially if you are trying new techniques.
Coitus, commonly known as vaginal sex, can be one of the clumsiest ways to stimulate a woman, if done without thought. While it does provide an atmosphere that can be highly arousing, emotionally satisfying and erotic, the degree of stimulation to the woman's clitoral area is nothing compared to masturbation or cunnilingus. One can incorporate manual stimulation to the clitoris during sex, but this is not very necessary if your woman has had vaginal orgasms in the past, and if you know how to hit the g spot correctly. To learn more about positions and the G-spot, please refer to the G-spot article and Sex Positions section. No one wants to involve geometry into sex, but it is wise to know which positions stimulate the G spot the best. In order to help her achieve a vaginal orgasm, you need to make sure you are "hitting" the G-spot with each stroke.
Many men fantasize about the myth of female ejaculation. Well, for starters, its no myth, most women should theoretically be able to have them. The key is G-spot stimulation, but all of this is also well described in the article on Female Ejaculation.
Some Ideas on Getting Her There:
First of, we would like to remind you to relax, and not to make her orgasm the purpose behind the encounter. The more of a goal you make it; the less likely it is that it will happen. Relax and enjoy yourselves, as that is the most important part.
During Intercourse, you want to increase the pressure exerted on the woman's clitoris. This can be accomplished by rotating your hips just like when you are "grinding" on a dance floor. Try to really push against the front of her groin with the area just above the penis. Rocking back and forth or side to side is a really good way of getting started.
Rule of Thumb
With the woman sitting on top, the man should lie flat on his back, pelvic tilted upward, and stomach muscles tightened. You want to arch your hips upwards to improve the quality of “the Grind”; this can be achieved easily by putting a pillow under the man’s bum. He then should put his hand over the woman’s pubic region, and place his thumb on the woman’s clitoris. While the woman is riding her partner, he can simultaneously stimulate her clitoris.
With the woman lying on her back, the man should lie perpendicularly (i.e., at a right angle to her, thus forming the ‘T’), while straddling the woman’s far leg. Depending on the woman’s flexibility, this can be a great position for deep penetration, while exposing the clitoris for manual stimulation. This double stimulation is very gratifying and can often lead to the big “O” really quickly.
The woman lies on her back, legs tightly held together. The man lies on top, or stands/kneels, in front. Instead of being directly in line with her, the man should be at a slight diagonal. Both of her legs should be over one shoulder, or on one side, of his body; he should begin penetration. This position is designed to maximize female clitoral stimulation and is easiest to perform with the man standing or kneeling (i.e. the woman should have her legs hanging off a counter, couch or bed).
Using Sex Toys
Sex toys can be used in virtually any sexual position, and thanks to the creative people who design toys, if you can think of a toy, chances are its already made. If you have never used one, you can read our comprehensive section on buying and using Sex Toys. Then visit our online store to find products designed to increase stimulation during intercourse or masturbation. The following is a summary of some of the most popular types of toys:
Vibrating Clitoral Suckers
This class of products works as follows: put the cup part of the toy over the clitoral area, squeeze the pump a couple times to build up some suction, then turn on the vibrating egg, which is generally attached to the cup. The suction is great because it draws more blood to the clitoris, making it more sensitive, as well as it keeps the toy hands free. It can be used during intercourse to add incredible sensations, but some varieties may prove a little bulky for some positions.
For those of you who are looking for something with a little more functionality, we recommend getting a regular vibrator. The can be held in place during intercourse to stimulate whatever you want, they can be inserted anally, and can be used on their own as well. They are available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and purposes.
Vibrating Cock Rings
This class of products is ingenious! The toy is basically a ring with one or more vibrating eggs attached. Simply slide it down the shaft of the penis, turn on the vibrating eggs, and voila, super pleasure for both parties.