how to deep throat

Fellatio - Deep Throat

‘Deep Throat’, the controversial though enormously successful sex movie, was first released in 1972. An entire flick dedicated to the 'subterranean' blow job (BJ), it brought sex out of the closet and forever changed the way people viewed this form of fellatio. So what exactly is a ‘deep throat blow job’, and more importantly, could it be easier to perform than it looks?

A blow job with depth

In order to perform this type of oral sex, a fellator engulfs an erect penis in their mouth past the epiglottis (the piece of tissue that hangs at the entrance of the throat). The phallus is taken as far down as possible and, assuming it is long enough, to the point of partially swallowing it. If the fellator is able, their lips will be able to touch the base of the man's penis and his testicles.

Gurgling and slurping sounds usually go with the territory - and can be a major turn on for a man who receives this type of BJ. Coughing and gagging sounds are also fairly common, arousing both for the auditory aspect and because the throat and mouth tighten even harder around the shaft. These elements make the owner of the penis feel like it's so big that their partner just can't fit them all the way in – and so deep throat strokes a man's ego as well as his manhood!

It's not as easy as it looks

A deep throat blow job involves a great deal of skill. The fellator must be cognizant about taking inward breaths between taking the male member deep into their mouth. This doesn't mean that breathing isn't possible during a deep throat BJ, merely that it requires the fellator to flatten and stick out their tongue as far as possible.

Some fellators, if not most, prefer not to choke on their man's phallus - so it's important to manage one's natural instinct to spit out the offending member, rather than just relaxing their mouth/throat even more. The giver must also control their tongue and throat so as not to succumb to their gag reflex.

The gag reflex

People have different sensitivities to the gag reflex - an involuntary contraction that occurs at the back of the throat. The purpose of this pharyngeal reflex is to prevent accidental choking, and it can be triggered by objects pressing against the soft palate (the back of the roof of the mouth), as well as by large objects being pressed into the back of the mouth.

The average length of an erect penis, at five or so inches or so, is longer than the depth of the average mouth. It's therefore no surprise that giving this form of fellatio poses a serious problem for someone with a natural gag reflex. Fortunately, there are few ways to work around it. First and foremost, be patient; suppressing one's gag reflex takes time and practice.

How to deep throat WITHOUT gagging

As with many other sexual acts, positioning is everything, but size sure makes a difference. Also, when it comes to deep-throating, this is one case where bigger isn't always better. However, while it is easier to execute certain sexual acts with a man whose penis is smaller, it is possible to do so successfully if you follow some of these helpful hints.


A deep throat BJ can be performed most easily from a number of Fellatio Sex Positions. One is simply for the receiver to stand, or sit, on the edge of the bed while the giver kneels in front of them (characterized by Atten-hut and Game's On respectively). Another method is to assume a fellator-on-top 69 and blow – er - go from there. Since the penis naturally bends upward towards the man's torso, there'll be less pressure put on the giver's throat.

In another variation, the fellator lies face up on the bed with their head hanging over the edge while the fellatee stands, or leans, slightly forward in front of them (think Throat Swab). This technique effectively lines up the throat and mouth, aiding penetration, although the fellator may feel like they have less control over what they're doing – and, in turn, get choked from such a psychological barrier.

Practice Makes Perfect

Here are a couple of tips that'll pave your way to deep throat success. If you want to practice on something before you try it on your man, use a dildo that's flexible, almost to the point of being floppy. Not all penises are that bendy, but using one such as this is a great way to ease your way into deep-throating and gain more confidence.

The farther out you can stick your tongue, the less of a chance there is to gag. Doing so suppresses the gag reflex, makes more room for the penis, and helps you breathe better during a deep throat session.

When you get the sensation that you're about to gag, the best thing to do is not panic. Not only will this initiate tension in the mouth and throat, it will make it more difficult to overcome the gag reflex. Simply breathe out softly and gently ease off his penis. Give yourself a little break by integrating other sexual acts such as Prostate Stimulation, Hand-job, or regular old Fellatio before going back deep down on his penis.

What to do if you're a gagger

A short term solution is to use a numbing throat spray, which some authorities on oral sex swear by. These are generally available in a variety of flavors. Another quick fix is to use a water based lubricant while giving head. Though it's generally known for its benefits in the vaginal and anal sex department, an edible Lubricant is effective in aiding deep throating; the slippery stuff can actually decrease gag reflex.

A known long term strategy to desensitize one's gag reflex is by employing the use of a toothbrush. Try brushing your tongue as far back as you can possibly reach, without getting all choked up, and maintain the brushing motion for a few minutes. Repeat this process daily, and move the brush back a little further into the mouth every day.

Final thoughts

Deep-throating is just one of a multitude of acts that can be performed during sex. It takes practice and patience to master this 'down' reaching deed, but once you get the hang of it, your fellatio finesse goes way, way up!

mattie1's picture
great tips

once I mastered my gag reflex I quickly became a very popular lady!

wide one
practice makes perfect

i bet you did !
a few years ago, i was dating a woman, i shouldnt say dating, we hooked up 4-6 times a week for suck-n-fuck sessions. one night out of nowhere sitting in her car, she unzipped my pants, expertly stroked me to full hardness, and engulfed nearly 7" of cock wthout hesitating. i eventually convinced her to go to a hotel with me, so i could pay her back for 2 weeks of BJ's.
she really wasnt interested in having her pussy eaten, and initially insisted on a condom for sex.

condom use lasted about 15 minutes into our 1st fuck, she was begging to feel my cock inside her without it...

i bareback fucked her "housewife next door" pussy for 6 months, eventually finding out she wasnt divorced, or seperated, but still married :-(

current wife has a bad gag replex, but she still gives my head a workout on occasion :-)

Deep throat

There is nothing I enjoy more than giving blowjobs and my favorite technique is the deep throat. I know some people do not enjoy it, but I love it. The more lengthy and intense, the more it is. The suggestions on this site are wonderful.

Wish I knew

I've never been deepthroated no girl has ever been able to take me all the way the fathest I've gotten is to the bak of her throat

Like it deep

My wife says I am a big guy, for the sake of avoiding vanity we will leave it there.
For a year or two she wasn't great with her BJ technique. As our relationship evolved I became more interested in dominating her. She didn't realize what I was doing, nor was she voluntarily being submissive, but I began telling her how good it felt in the back of her throat. She struggled for a few months and then one day it changed. Her head was hanging over the edge of the bed, I pinned her arms to the bed and was face fucking her. She didnt have anywhere to go so she swallowed it all. Sure she gagged but after she regained herself, she lost that hesitation she had for the years previous.
She is a now a world class deep-throater, better than any of my previous lovers. She even says now she needed to know she could do it, before she knew she could do it.
She consistently takes me all the way, so much so that we bought a 12 inch dildo and she has shown me how to overcome the gag reflex. I admit, and I say this from experience, it is difficult but once you know you can do it, you can deep-throat.
Women, want to impress your man, this is one of the two things you can do to earn major kudos from your man.

madame mim

you didn't bother to discuss this with your wife and manipulated her into something she should have decided for herself or didn't voluntarily decide? that is incredibly low grade. that is not the action of a good spouse


I still gag sometimes, but practicing really has made it much easier for me. I can take my bf all the way down to the base without feeling like im choking to death lol!

Jillian51894's picture

This makes soo much sense now! No wonder I'm gagging all over the place


i've gone deep throat on all my past men, small and large and it definitely gets easier with practise. my girlfriends laugh at me when i say that but its true. i'm 35 n only figured it out few years ago lol. it also helps if u smoke a blunt first ;)

35 and giving blowjobs, you

35 and giving blowjobs, you must hmu lol

Relax, Relax, Relax

I read a lot abt giving bjs before I did it for the first time. I was scared to deep-throat because ppl told me bad stories abt their gag reflex and having a choking feeling while doing it. I was glad when I read the head of a penis is sensitive enough to make a man cum just by sucking it the right way (no deep-throat needed).

But when I gave my first bj my man wanted me to go down more, not just suck the head so I did. My gag reflex did almost ruin it but I relaxed my throat. That really does work. Relax. Now whenever I give a bj I tell myself to relax my throat and I can take him all the way down without my gag reflex going off. I love it! Especially when he moans and lift his hips. It's easy and fun. Just don't think about gagging and u won't (kinda mind over matter), relax, take his penis down ur throat, enjoy it.


It does seem hard. I just gave my first bj last night. And i tried it. Of course i do need practice but for my first time, he said it was good.