a guide to foreplay


Foreplay is a fundamental part of the whole lovemaking experience. Most men and women experienced in sex will agree that the best sexual encounters should include long and sensual foreplay. A big part of the fun on any trip is the journey to get there – do yourself a favor and don’t miss out on it. A more attentive form of foreplay will bring increased pleasure to both partners, and make any sexual experience more satisfying.

Both partners need a little extra spice to get fully aroused and achieve maximum pleasure. The man may need to prolong foreplay to get an erection and the women will usually need the same to become properly lubricated. Unless you are both just wanting a ‘quickie’, there is no such thing as spending too much time on foreplay. The trick is to start intercourse when both partners are fully aroused and having a hard time (pun intended) controlling their desires from foreplay.

Foreplay includes a range of activities such as undressing, kissing, petting and oral sex; but you can add your own thoughts to the list. Sensitive foreplay is so important to good sex because it will help both partners enjoy sexual intercourse more, and it will especially help women reach orgasm more often. Most woman need prolonged stimulation in order to reach complete arousal, and foreplay will provide them with the required encouragement.

There is no such thing as the definitive way to foreplay; it is not about pressing the ‘right buttons’ in any pre-determined order (unless after trying everything out you find that is what you both like). It is about understanding what makes your partner tick and supplying those things that make the experience exceptionally pleasurable. There are many ways to give your partner extreme pleasure, and it all begins in the brain. Compliment their appearance or other attributes, especially if they have a low confidence level; show them that you care about them and what they enjoy.

Creating the right environment for sexual intercourse is all about paying attention to the details, which is especially important at mature stages in the relationship. For example, make sure the room is warm, the lighting subdued and that the appropriate music is playing. Once the mood is right, take the time to undress each other slowly, because the act of removing your partner's clothes can be an important part of successful foreplay. Many find that undressing increases the eroticism - stimulating and intensifying the feeling.

During foreplay, go slow; begin by kissing and caressing. A kiss is usually the first physical expression of love and desire, but it is also often forgotten during sexual intercourse. During intercourse, kiss the different parts of your partner’s body, and don’t be restricted solely to the mouth. Many women complain that their partner doesn't kiss long enough and rushes the movement directly to the genital area. Don't be shy to experiment on every part of the body (for example, many women enjoy particular kissing and nibbling attention to the neck and shoulders) - and remember to prolong the foreplay with more kissing and caressing.

Another reason foreplay is important is for the learning experience. Foreplay is the perfect time to spend time understanding what your partner likes because without that, you will never understand what they really need to be fully stimulated. Don't be shy; ask for feedback and also give your own. Both partners gain from good communication during foreplay and lovemaking. If words fail you, either SHOW or GUIDE your partner in the direction you want, and encourage them to do the same.

Remember that only by communication can we understand what is required to improve - and that practice makes perfect!


My bf is not very good at dirty talk. I'll say something sexy and he will reply with "me too". How can I get him to talk dirty to me during foreplay?


okay, normally I am pretty confident sexually, and I know I am good at what I do but I am getting into a sexual relationship with a friend of mine which is new territory for me, I have had sex before but not with a friend, we both want to have sex and I am fine with giving him foreplay, and I love when we make out and he touches me, but we have yet to actually go bellow the belt and I feel awkward about him fingering me, he even asked to last time we made out but I said no (I was to high to be sure if I would want to take things farther or not if I wasn't high so I decided against it). I don't know why I feel awkward about it, I mean I didn't feel shy about it with my ex, but with my friend I'd rather just give him foreplay and then have sex and skip him giving it to me, which I know makes no sense, but it's how I feel. Basically what I am asking here is if I get wet anyway while we make out, grind on each other, and he plays with my breasts then do I really need foreplay in order to have good sex? I want us both to have a good time but I want to not feel awkward. Advise please, especially advise from a guy since I'm going to be sleeping with a guy (would ask my best guy friend, but he's the one who I am planning on sleeping with XD) btw I am partly asleep so I'm not sure how well I worded this but I hope you get the gist of it and have some good advise for me, thanks :P

Is it really possible to

Is it really possible to climax during foreplay? Is so, how? I really want to have sex but if it could wait until marriage that should be great! I just want our sexual experience to be great for my bf & me(:


You can climax during foreplay, oral, fingering, toys all can make you climax and for your bf jerk him off, give him a blow job, ext.
If you want to make foreplay the entire event then just don't stop before you both climax where as when you use foreplay before sex you want to stop before that point, but yes you definitely can climax during foreplay. Good luck ^^

how to turn a man on

please help me i need help and i need someone to help me spice things up in my relationship...how i turn the guy on where do i touch him?? its bothering me because my man always do everything and i am just a passenger

Sweetkitty's picture
Good passive kissing is a

Good passive kissing is a good start. Then just lightly lick the lobe of the ear move down to the neck nibble a bit. As you do so rub your pelvis agaist his. Feel around his body. Make it seem like you really want to but dont start till he is agaist the wall or laying down. He'll bcome to the point he wants to get you into the bed. Men you know its true. Little things do so much magic.

kittywonder's picture
one thing you could do is run

one thing you could do is run your fingers through his hair and moves you hands slowly and gently down past his ears and neck.sometimes saying you want to give him a back massage and making him undress the same light touches everywhere and having your body on top or all over him can relax and turn him on. then have him roll over to his back and lightly move your hand down his chest until you are playing with his uhm penis.

I love it!

I love foreplay. The feeling it gives my body is out of this world, especially when done right. Even the thought of foreplay makes me horny. I recently moved, and I ended up springing interest in a guy back near my home state , thank god im moving back or I wouldnt be able to take it anymore Lol. I'll be on the bus going to school ( im a junior in high school) and he text me all day, even when he's at work ( hes 20) , everytime we talk I get so horny and then throughout the day it doesn stop. Ill be sitting in class and all of a suden foreplay comes into mind with him and I get so we my jeans actuLly get wet. When I move back he wants me to move in with him. I mean he's not into foreplay as much so it makes me just a tad uneasy. But everything else about him in general and sexually is perfect. Idk what to do about the foreplay issue. Should I just deal withit and enjoy everything, or should Try to get him into it more? And if he doesnt get into it a little more should I give up on everything?

Some men are just bad

Some men are just bad lovers. I have had a couple of BFs who were initially lousy when it came to foreplay. But through communication and encouragement they became better lovers. If you love him, encourage him and be patient. If he loves you he should make an effort. However, if your BF shows none to little interest in wanting to take the time to please you, and sex is important to you, you may need to take a good look at the health of your relationship. If you're happy with him as a companion first and you are willing to sacrifice sexual gratification for it then accept him for the type of lover that he is.

Nice comment.

Nice comment.

loveeee foreplay!!! lol deep

loveeee foreplay!!! lol deep kissing and fondling leads to the disposal of clothes and fingering for me n hj for him. my guy does foreplay so well i usually end up begging him to put his rock hard in me ;)

your 11 hold off on sex

your 11 hold off on sex until at least 18, until then mastubate.

whos 11????

whos 11????

Foreplay really is a big

Foreplay really is a big deal, never thought it would be. lol. even the little my and my bf do (we just hooked up), is so nice, practically has me begging for more ;3

and to think we're both beginners at this XD

from what i've seen it's kissing, kissing the neck, chest, ears? (works for me ><) move slow, just enjoy the moment?

im 11 years old and im a

im 11 years old and im a virgin but i think about sex a lot. whenever i do i feel dirty and confused. i have fantasies about sex very often and have dreams about it as well. is this wrong or is it just horomones. i am very confused and need help!

Its natural

Honey, its okay to think about sex at your age, i was. You're body is changing and so you're going to. at least thats what i figure, im no expert. lol.

The best advice tho? Go and talk to your mom or dad. I know it seems awkward at first, but they'll be able to explain things to you better. Thats what helped me. (still does in fact)

So relax, don't worry, and have the 'chat' with your parents if you havent already :3

Dude I was jerkin off to

Dude I was jerkin off to chicks at 11 and it's pretty normal to think about sex at your age. Hell I'm 13 and iv got some action occasionally. Your hormones Work that way.

My bf doesnt believe in

My bf doesnt believe in foreplay... what do i do?

Explain it to him and show him this article

Explain it to him and show him this article. Make him understand why foreplay is such an important part of sex. Also if you can make him understand that if foreplay lasted longer that you would both be able to experience even more incredible pleasure and sex during intercourse then maybe he will be more willing to try prolonging foreplay.

dump him any man who doesn't

dump him

any man who doesn't believe in foreplay does not believe in fair play...and if he does not believe in foreplay or fair play...back up and say "NO WAY!"

Well he tries to turn me on

Well he tries to turn me on but he's just not that good at it and when we do it. It hurts because I am not wet. For some reason he grew a lot bigger and its hard for him to stick it in. It feels really good, I love it but foreplay isnt even 5 mins long. I'm not fully aroused and I dont get the orgasm i used to get. I dont want to dump him over sex, thats dumb. Theres more to a relationship than just that.

true... um... try lube?


um... try lube? maybe you can talk to him about it, i dont know, i;ve no experience, so i guess i shouldnt be trying to help ><

4 hours

the longest time that the whole love making process has taken was 4 hours. and after a 10 minute rest, we were back at it for another 2 hours!! it was intense!!

it wasnt just the sex that was enjoyable. it was the giggles, the moans, the playing and the teasing! It was fun! and it was just so enjoyable!!

it made us want to do it again and again and again!! but... we had to sleep SOMETIME!! haha!


How To Foreplay?

Yes, it's true. Lots of women like it when you-play around with their behinds. A lot of women like mild spanking and squeezing of the buttocks. But there's more... Now this is not something that I like or even like to describe so this is for the women who do like it.
Some women like having their butts licked, sucked and penetrated (with fingers, penis or both). For those who shudder at the thought of sticking their tongues out at Uranus, I'm sure that anal penetration, on the other hand, sounds quite inviting, huh?

The last boyfriend i had was

The last boyfriend i had was a virgin, but he liked doing things like fingering me, once i tried to get him to go down on me. He did that for all of about 30 seconds, it was the first time he'd gone down on a girl. He never did it again to me. He said he didn't like the taste, but i've never had any complaints before which is kinda giving me a really bad complex.

Did u shower every girl I

Did u shower every girl I have gone down on tasted great except this one girl who didn't shower tht day but generally if I dnt like the taste I just ignore it and I give my girl a mind blowing orgasam because I love it when she is happy


Is it just me or is foreplay just better than sex?

To me sex is just the end, versus foreplay which....oh my god, it's an escalation to a damn beautiful sensation. This is why I haven't done it yet. Hell, I can climax on foreplay alone. ;)I can leave sex alone until I wanna have a baby with my hubby, and then I'll let the fireworks explode. ;D

*high fives* im with you

*high fives*
im with you there! XD
well, married life is gonna start the fun. bebbehs come a few years after XD

Fore play is amazing

Ok i hear what ya'll are sayin bout this but thing is some girls just have zero fun with fingerin and well eatin a girl out is like the only way to go aside from like suckin her nipples. when i get head from girls its amazing but few stay on very long cause of chocking or whatnot and those who do stay on longer end up using teeth (ouch). so what else is there really to do that dont involve pain lol or disatisfaction?

well if the girl isn't

well if the girl isn't enjoying you fingering her or eating her out then you're prolly not doing it right, go and read the articles on it, and tell these girls who are using their teeth that it hurts and make them go read the article on giving head haha. as for other stuff to do, I would say be kind of a tease, Kiss her, her her neck, play with her hair, if she really likes it when you lick her nipples take a long time getting to them, like you're licking and kissing everything else on her breasts except her nipples, then when you finally do get to them the anticipation will have her freaking out. I dunno I guess that kind of stuff works for me, just make sure you don't tease too much or she'll get annoyed with you, just watch her and make sure she likes what you're doing.

my bf had sexual exp but he

my bf had sexual exp but he doesn't consider it his first since he was only 15 then and it was so fast and just 1 round and it was the girl who initiated sex, who he doesn't love, wasn't his gf and he says he couldn't even remember the name... hormones i know...
He considers me his first and with all honesty, he's my first too in everything...
I read almost all the comments and everyone was complaining about foreplay. it's imp to get wet down there but with me and my man we just need to know we'll be doing it in future. Kisses, touch, play with my nipples which would't really last really long, he would enter me after 5 min of foreplay, of which i don't complain, i enjoy the penetration very much... reaching orgasm is such heaven... having him close is so intimate, i feel his love all over me., by the way we don't do oral sex because we don't believe in porn, hahaha, still we enjoy each other so much... knowing we are together is already heaven for both of us and as for sex and foreplay, we consider it only a bonus... we'll be married in march... looking forward to great future with him...

i love foreplay sometimes id

i love foreplay sometimes id rather just that than the sex... i love my bf fingers hes so0 amazing with them makes me squirt so much all the time!!!


im 16 and im a virgin, i think about forplay 24hours
7days a week. is that weird? I cant help it I've tryed to stop but no effect. it just consumes my mind all the time :) all i want is a girl to play with, and to be played with. i just want to have a little bit of fun. im tired of sleeping all by myself.. it feels lonly, i feel lonly, i dont want to be lonly enymore. i want to have someone that i can be there to love/support and be there 4.

no it's not weird

Hi there, no, it's not weird at all, at that age you are thinking about those kinds of things all the time, your hormones are raging and it's natural. Just try to not let it dominate your life.

Teenager needing help.... please... :)

Hi, i'm a teenager, and i'm a virgin. I think about sex a lot, hormones I guess, but I think of foreplay sooooooooo much more. I always think about it no matter where I am. Is that weird? Is it wrong to just want someone to play with, and to be played with?
Confused... :(

hey I'm 20 and honestly I

hey I'm 20 and honestly I kind of miss foreplay, most guys I'm with these days seem to forget about it and just move right on to the penetration, which I'm fine with cuz I like that, but in my experience it's sooooo much better having that build up of foreplay. And you're not weird at all I think about foreplay all the time, and kissing, cuz I love kissing haha, but yea normal haha

honestly theres nothing to

honestly theres nothing to worry about it usually happens bcause its really all you know right now everyones talking about it so really its hard not to think about it...also some advice if you havent done it yet if this message is too late some advice forplay really is good to start off with especially fingering right before it really makes it hurt less not to scare you or anything but you should know that it does kinda hurt the first time so like i said dont just jump straight to it forplay is good and its alot of fun too... good luck ;)

yeah :D dont worry about it.

yeah :D dont worry about it. imm a 14 year old guy, and personally i think about a girl to play with in some weird places. but its hormones i guess? i think its more you want someone you can trust like that than actually doing it.

if your 14 youre not a guy,

if your 14 youre not a guy, youre still a boy, btw.
and yes it is hormones

don't worry!

don't worry, girl! thats totally normal and i enjoy the journey more than the destination most of the time (depending on the guy tho lol...) :P Theres nothing weird about ya, u'r normal!

Mr. teddy bear

Ok I see many women on here complaining that there husbands or bf's are not spending enough time on foreplay or skip it compleatly. my wife to be feels the same way. she dose not get it when I say foreplay is for the guy too. she demands the foreplay but it seems one sided. then we get down to it, and after im left feeling like im missing out. im losing my sex drive for her because of this. just somthing to think about.

What makes me tick w/ my bf

I'm a virgin saving myself for marriage and I've got to put it out there that, when my bf and I get married (we would be already engaged, but it's complicated), if my bf is even half as good at sex as he is with foreplay, I'll continue to be a VERY HAPPY woman! lol
He's had previous experience, which-no doubt-helps, but I'm really encouraged by the fact that he's never ONCE pressured for sex-hell, he has promised we won't have sex until we're married (which makes me happy).
He's very studious of what really turns me on so it really does just get better and better! :) (Been together since we were 18 and 22, now I'm 20 and he'll be 24 on Monday and still kickin'!)
I am sooooooo looking forward to sex with that man ;)


I love when boys bite and nibble on my nipples.. i love when they rub my clit. I dont find anything exciting about fingering...except for when he goes soo fast i orgasmn so hard.

all the nerves that give the

all the nerves that give the feeling of pleasure are at the front of the vagina, so fingering normally doesnt feel great. But wehn you go really fast and the clit gets rubbed quickly, it feels verry verrrry good.

pamela bowers
hey, my husband use to love

hey, my husband use to love foreplay when we were datin and engaged but since we got married it feels like the passion and heat has left the bed room and when i try to talk to him about it he just says hes tired n wants to go to bed and there is one other thing i give him head alot but when it comes to returnin the favor he want do it i dnt knw what to do any more plz help me somebody.

Hubby not interested

Hi, I guess my first question is, is he on the computer alot? If so, he is probably masterbating to pornography it happens alot in men, so that when your wanting sex, he is already spent. If thats not the case, try getting him some viagra ( if he doesnt have any heart problems.) His sex drive may be low.. how old of a couple are you? As far as you giving him head all the time you need to stop doing that so much. It should be a mutual thing, like getting into a 69 where you can both can enjoy the rewards.

Im16 my gf of 3 years I got

Im16 my gf of 3 years I got bored or the same girl but I would never cheat she found out my sex drive sucked nd she started waking me up to her riding me and bj no we fuck all the time again the guy dosent always wnt to do the work

Pamela, I have the SAME

Pamela, I have the SAME problem! My husband and I haven't even been married for a year yet, and already the passion and lust is gone. He barely ever wants to have sex, and when we do, he rushes it and I always end up unsatisfied and upset.
I wish I knew how to fix it, because I would gladly tell you how...But I don't know. I've talked to him about it, I've even asked him if he's having an affair...I have no idea what's wrong.

And people joke that it's the WOMEN who go cold after marriage.

Loves it

My girlfriend and i used to foreplay all the time, but now im in college and she is at home and when i come home to see her she just goes crazy all over me and it is always skipped, i mean sometimes we go back to it(making it Afterplay), but i really miss it, any ideas on how to bring it back from the dead?

I loveee foreplay, but my

I loveee foreplay, but my boyfriend just doesnt spend as much time as I would like on it. especially fingering. I have to keep coasting him to keep doing it because that will be what sets me off the end.