Okay so when you guys had sex for the first time....girls especially...what were some of your thoughts afterwards...i ask because me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time at the end of august...well after i came, she said she could feel me cum. I figured it was the thobbing from me ejaculating, but she said she could feel warmth, and when i pulled out she felt it on her leg...well this made me a bit nervous (even though the condom wasnt broken and i had done everything it said about pulling out, like holding the base...and no i didnt linger around inside her for a while after i finished) and she seemed ok about it, like she doesnt seemed stressed out or anything, and when i look into her eyes i can tell she still loves me and everything, but it seems as if she has become a bit more distance as far as...there is usually a lot of passion in our kisses , but we havent shared a passionate kiss in almost two weeks, and her hugs have become more of a crushing dont leave hug...dont mind them but it bothers me...since we had sex and like idk if its cuz she too is worried about pregnancy because of what she "felt" but i would like to know what else everyone else went through...girls did you become like this after your first time or similar. and guys have your girlfriends ever gotten like this?
Mon, 09/10/2007 - 20:30
#1
Your First Time and anxiety
The first time was not all it was cracked up to be, I felt like "okay it's accomplished". It adds to some feelings of awkwardness realizing your sexuality.
There is so much hype about how wonderful it is; really it becomes more of an acquired taste and takes time for one to be comfortable to really enjoy it. Was it good? Yeah, but not what I expected. It becomes better with time.
Then you realize your relationship is on a new level and this is the new expectation (intercourse) and true enjoyment, mainly for women, is achieved with time.
well i know she really enjoyed it, and she wanted to do it again later that night....err early morning rather...but like she just seems a bit out there
I know that for me.. it does take it to another level.
And it's like you are paranoid of just kissing b/c you wonder if fooling around or making out will ALWAYS lead to sex... and maybe that's not what you want to be doing at that moment...
I mean it's not a bad/good thing.. just something different.
so you avoid actions that could lead to this... does that make sense??
Maybe I'm a bit out there LOL :)
> Then you realize your relationship is on a new level and this is the new expectation (intercourse) and true enjoyment, mainly for women, is achieved with time.
Communication is the key to having a successful relationship; the relationship in general and specifically the sexual aspect is a partnership. Talk to her at a time when the two of you are not planning to get it on and try to learn what is on her mind and what her perspective is now. Share your thoughts, also, and if necessary, work out a plan for the future that the two of you can embrace.
buttercup that does make alot of sense...and i know that that has happened before, but were really open when it comes to that so if we just want to simple make out sort of thing we tell each other...but i guess i just need to talk to her...i have tried asking her what she is thinking and like if she feels were ok and she says yes...and we did talk about sex after our first time, like what we thought and stuff like that...
my first time was incredibly painful. and many times after that. i'm still struggling with it, and its been almost a year. :\
Much may have to do with her age, Ducy...
Well we are both 17, almost 18. So I mean it could be. Im going over to her house wednesday, so i guess if things dont seem the same by then, then i will see whats changed.
Aside from the whole having sex thing.
The first time was ho-hum but the second time, which followed shortly after the first time, was AWESOME!
Now then - what she felt was NOT you! Please read up on Female Ejaculation. YES women do it too! What she felt was HER!
(btw congrats on that because in order for a woman to ejaculate she must be both relaxed and aroused which is difficult for some. You did a great job, hun!)
She will not do it all of the time, the amout will vary, and some positions will be more conducive to female ejaculation than others - this varies between women.
Now you can explain to her what it was that she felt!
really? well to be honest eek she really enjoyed the first time (more so than me) we stopped after the first time cuz she was too damn tired and i couldnt seem to cum. (3 orgasms took alot out of her :D) this time was actually the second which took place about a day later...i guess i should have been more specific.
I dont mean to question you, but are you sure....i mean i guess it could have....she was on top and like we got a little intense....so i mean i guess so. but she didnt have an insanely powerful orgasm that i would have expected with ejaculation...i mean is that necessarily a "symptom" so to speak? because she want moaning or anything, and last time she had a powerful orgasm we thought the neighbors were gonna hear us.
Think logically. If it wasn't you - who else could it have been since the condom didn't break? It isn't like women have any real control over ejaculation.
haha that is true....never really thought of it that way...i thought she could have just been really wet i didnt thing of her ejaculating...ok now silly question eek....but this is good correct i mean pleasure wise...im glad she was able to be relaxed enough so i know shes relaxed around me, but i mean does that feel good or is it just like o ok i ejaculated. I tried reading the spot on the g spot but it didnt talk much in the way of it being pleasureable or anything.
Female ejaculation generally occurs during the most intense orgasms, lots of times we may not know it happened until all that fluid is there or your partner noticed. All we know was damned it felt really, really good!
The first time it happened to me, I had no clue. It was the most intense of orgasms I had ever had & was so relaxed. He pointed out, what just happened to you? Well, the rest is history. Making it happen does not work, it's not like a man where it's expected to occur.
Well you say it was one of the most intense orgasms every, but she was pretty quite....like all i know was she was showing the signs....head back, moving faster, things like that, and like all the sudden she just sorta slumped forward....so i mean it wasnt like when she damn near suffocated me when i was going down on her.
Ducy - being able to induce female ejaculation is achieving the Holy Grail of sex for men. YES, you did very well. Women will vary of course, but generally speaking an ejaculatory orgasm is one of the most intense orgasms around. This dos not mean that men who cannot induce such a state have failed to please - not at all! But then there is pleasure and there is pleasure and some times a woman just wants a little bit of fun - a light meal so to speak.
While it cannot be reliably predicted, if a woman is relaxed and aroused a skilled lover who knows her very well should be able to induce ejaculation say 7 out of 10 times.
alright well she told me it was a soso orgasm like not bad but not OMFG :eek:
Apparently her body enjoyed it.
i guess so. I mean she was pretty tired afterwards...usually shes wide awake.
Beware now Ducy, the more she does this, the greater her stamina will become. If you're lucky - so will her interest!
haha well i guess i couldnt complain if her stamina increased a bit...its kinda tough having sex since we usually have to stop cuz i last too long and she gets too sensitive from coming a few times...but i guess thats just cuz i cant feel much with the condoms to begin with so i guess i could be screwed if we were ever to get engaged and stop using condoms lol.
Ducy - you have to work on your sensitivity and she has to relax breathe and get beyond hers. Please see the threads on achieving multiple orgasms.
Do any girls like sex on their first try? I hear it hurts, bleeding possibly, or it was alright. Do any girls really like it though. I can see my girlfriend not wanting to try again after the first time if it hurts.
Ducy, and any guy who has experienced the notorious "post-coital distance" in young girls, it might be because young girls feel like after sex they have nothing left to make their guys interested.
This is such bullsh*t. Seriously.
My GF actually was worried that I would become less interested in her because she had sex with me. FALSE. Sex is amazing and it only makes young men want it more.
The first usually is not terribly good - which is precisely why you do it again - more or less right away - only this time you make damn sure she has an orgasm!
One orgasm leads to wanting another....and another.....and well, you get my drift.
[QUOTE=HOTFIRE;194913]Do any girls like sex on their first try? I hear it hurts, bleeding possibly, or it was alright. Do any girls really like it though. I can see my girlfriend not wanting to try again after the first time if it hurts.[/QUOTE]
I think it really depends on how you are going about it. If you decide, "We are going to have sex NOW," and just go for it, don't stop it if hurts, etc...yeah, I imagine it would be incredibly painful. I never understood how so many ppl lose their virginity this way. When I had sex (not lost my virginity, but full on sex) it was a two week stretch of time. He was extremely large, mind you. We would try, but it would start to hurt, so he would stop and we would please each other orally or manually. I wanted to have sex with him, but I couldn't. So, anyway, one night, after we had been kissing and fooling around for a while, I actually ended up on top of him and it was really wonderful! SO, my first time of actual sex did not hurt, but it was a process getting to the point of intercourse.
You should make sure to have lube on hand, as that is an absolute necessity!
>The first usually is not terribly good - which is precisely why you do it again - more or less right away - only this time you make damn sure she has an orgasm!
Are we talking like minutes or an hour? How long? I would think that waiting would make her tighter and hurt more. Why does waiting a short time work?
she is already warmed up more or less, and since she has taken in a penis recently it wont hurt as bad because she hasnt had a time to go back to usual.
[QUOTE=HOTFIRE;194913]Do any girls like sex on their first try? I hear it hurts, bleeding possibly, or it was alright. Do any girls really like it though. I can see my girlfriend not wanting to try again after the first time if it hurts.[/QUOTE]
I liked sex my first time....it was on my wedding night, so it was very meaningful for me. It hurt A LOT though, and neither of us were able to finish because of the pain I was having...but it was okay. Just simply being married and being able to have sex was special.
The next day, during our second time, I had a small orgasm during intercourse, but it still hurt. I think it took about 3 or 4 days of having sex 1-2 times a day before the pain to completely go away. It just depends on the girl, though.
Lots of lube can help though...I mean try just making your man get hard and just put it in your when your barely wet...see if that feels good....then try getting yourself super uberly orgasmaliciously wet and see if that feels better....
the reason sex does hurt alot can be because the hymen, because girls arent used to having something bigger than a few fingers inside of them, but I would have to say, listening to my friends about their first time, people tend to jump the gun and dive headfirst...
My girlfriend really wanted too, like she jumped me, and was really eager, so she actually cut foreplay by a lot, and it was painful so we stopped (I was just sorta rubbing on the ouside, trying to ease it, but it hurt her) So We made out and stuff, she got really aroused, and aside from her feeling stretched, she absolutely loved it.
We're talking as soon as you can get hard again.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;196086]We're talking as soon as you can get hard again.[/QUOTE]
No pressure! :D
Hey! Either he has cojones or he doesn't and it is best to find that out ASAP.
My first time seemed to have come out of nowhere. For the longest time me and my girlfriend had done everything EXCEPT [vaginal] sex up to that point, and I was pretty well contented. So when she said in that soft pleading manner "I want you inside me", it came as a surprise of sorts, but I obliged.
I was embarressed as to how short I lasted, too much excitement. Also, it was all super-generic that it happened on prom night.
seems people's first times vary by a large degree...
i had sex for the first time about a week ago now and it went a lot better than i expected, although tthere were some problems.
to begin with we were making out and had a long foreplay session, lots of rubbing, kissing and fingering and it was very nice, she wasn't a virgin before she had sex with me and was very caring so wanted to make sure everything was alright.
when it came to sex, i put a condom on and after about a minute of actual penetration i pretty much lost all feeling inside her because of the condom, embarrassingly i lost my erection and for about 5 minutes i just couldnt do anything with the condom on me, i felt so bad and embarrassed.
so we stopped and she gave me a little handjob to get me hard again, i think the worst problem was being nervous about it, that's what lead me to loosing it and i felt so much pressure.
however! she decided to put a bit of oil on me and gave me a very nice handjob and we had sex properly after that, in fact it was amazing i stayed hard for ages and could control it very well, i probably lasted about half an hour or more and she came several times i felt fantastic :)
unfortunately and what i regret is we didn't use a condom, i didn't cum but i know there can be dangers and risks involved regardless and i feel really bad about it.
for the first time it was a very good experience though, much better than i expected, it's the second time that didn't go so well though :(