Women maybe men too
Do you ever let your partner do things to you that you do not necessarily enjoy but you know he does??
Or do you do things for your partner that you don't enjoy doing but know that he loves it??
I'm really asking is it normal to do things reluctantly and pretend to enjoy it to please your partner or should you tell him you really don't get a thrill out of it??
Mon, 12/10/2007 - 00:32
#1
You Hate vs. He Loves
If you are talking about something sexual that you may not "prefer" (may not be a major turn on for you), yes, experimenting and seeing him turned on does much for me; although, I may not care for the "act" it's self.
To exemplify; I do not care for doggie style but it's a give and take [the sexual relationship] so I will do it and I get turned on by him enjoying it. If it's something which some women cannot stand/tolerate such as anal; skip it and he should respect your choice.
In all honesty, I will try nearly anything once based on the partner and my degree of comfort and security with him; additionally, his sexual expertise [knowledge] I consider as well before making any choices [pro or con] regarding any sexual acts. Much also has to do with what I [and he] are in the mood to do...
I'd say it is give and take. You want to do what you can to please the person you care about, but you shouldn't overlook your own personal feelings. Obviously you feel strong enough about this issue that you are asking on the forums, so I'd say talk to him and let him know that you don't like it. I'm sure he will work with you with whatever it may be. Gl
Sera,
I do love seeing him turned on
And I do care for him a lot so therefore I care a lot about his pleasure
Bluetide,
Its not as if I absolutely hate it, its almost a take or leave it type of thing
I don't feel that strong about it, just wanted to know if it was normal to put his pleasure in front of yours at times
Both of you made it clear
communication is the key
and in any relationship its all about give and take.. correct?
[quote=gorgeous_mistake;201841]Sera,
I do love seeing him turned on
And I do care for him a lot so therefore I care a lot about his pleasure
Bluetide,
Its not as if I absolutely hate it, its almost a take or leave it type of thing
I don't feel that strong about it, just wanted to know if it was normal to put his pleasure in front of yours at times
Both of you made it clear
communication is the key
and in any relationship its all about give and take.. correct?[/quote]
Communication & compromise are essential in all aspects of your relationship...the only things which are not acceptable is abusive behavior, etc.
After trying it once:
If you don't care either way - then do it.
If you hate it then say so and don't do it.
After he tries it once:
If you love it and he doesn't care - have him do it.
If you love it and he hates it, then have him say so and don't do it.
Give and take/take and give.
Like said, communication is key. The earlier the issues are addressed, the easier it will be to resolve the problems. You don't want to give him a 'sucker punch' months/years down the road with an angry rant that you NEVER enjoyed yada-yada.
What you don't want to end up becoming is resentful, feeling like you were obligated to perform things that you didn't enjoy.
Thank you EEK you were very straight forward and helpful
Completely right and simple.. sure you've heard that many times
as for machine rat.. i am aware most women to hold grudges.. but if i really disliked doing something that much that i would throw it back in his face.. i wouldn't do it in the first place