I am a 16 year old girl, have been in a relationship for 2 years now, we have been sleeping together for about 9 months now, and i can't "come". I have been masturbating on my own for about 8 months and i can't "come" that way either...Am i just not ready to? I know that on my own i try too hard and try to force myself almost (I worked that out with one of the info pages of the site), but with bf, i don't know why i can't...does it mean i don't love him as much as i thought? or is it i'm too tense? I would really like to know, because it is causing a few problems for us both, he thinks he's not good enough and i'm ill worrying that it's my fault...we sometimes try for aver 2 hours and still nothing, neither of us understand and we're really worried about it. Can someone help us with this?
Tue, 06/20/2006 - 16:02
#1
Worrying
This is a weekly question. Look around and you will find lots of insightful reponses. Look at Chick Chat and you will find descriptions of female sexual response and other goodies. Most young boys feel responsible and then we women lay guilt trips on ourselves. You did not learn to ride a bicycle without practice and sex is a lot more complex than a bicycle.
Read around first and then ask.
the fact that you can't cum with your bf has absolutely no relation to your love for him. being too tense would be a factor, but if you are comfortable with your boyfriend, then i don't think that's the case. one problem is that when you go into sex, or masturbation, with the goal of having an orgasm, and you think about that while you're doing it, you will more than likely not have one. another thing is that most women will not experience an orgasm until they are in their 20's. so that can also be the case for you. just relax and enjoy the sex, because no matter the end result, it feels good the entire time.