My FWB and I have been messing around. Casual relationship. We had a one night interlude a few months back that went pretty well for our first time. Then we had a quickie a month later. Then two months after that, we decided to have an impromptu quickie.
Well, he is in his mid-30's and is not new to sex at all. Why oh why did he last 10 seconds? He apologized about it and was embarassed. I said that i thought it was because we hadn't done the deed is a while. he said he was not used a very wet vagina. My ex used to tell me if a guy cums quickly like that, it mens he is selfish and doesnt care about u. I find that hard to believe in this situation. Any thoughts on why this happened and the chances of it being like this again?
Second issue was on bj's. A couple of weeks ago, I had a desire to give him a blow job. I started out really slowly and took my time. He had a hard time maintaining erection. Now he is taking a medication that can decrease libido.
After a few minutes, he says "It's not workin". He said it was his fault due to the meds and work stress. but, he said he enjoyed it cuz i took my time. can he really enjoy it if he wasnt hard?
He can in fact enjoy it if he isnt hard. How can I put this. You can enjoy a sundae with cool chocolate syrup. Its even better if its hot fudge. He may not be hard, but he can still feel the same sensations as when he is hard (Just not as intense)
The fact that he couldnt get hard is very easily attributed to his meds and the stress. I mean people can be easily put off from either or. But combined, I wouldnt doubt it (happened when I first started college and was getting on anti depressants which surpresses libido)
The cuming in 10 seconds: Was that the improptu quickie? It could be that it was because a quickie, and random at that (Happened to me once for a quickie while at the park)
Is it continuously happening? Is he constantly cummin quickly? Or is he pleasing you as well? Because if it is once in a while. Or even just once it is ok. I mean it doesnt mean he is selfish (your ex is an idiot) It simply means he is sensitive, extremely horny, or finds you incredibly sexy. More than likely the latter of the three :D
As far as predicting the odds of premature ejaculation. No telling when it will happen.
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The cuming in 10 seconds: Was that the improptu quickie? It could be that it was because a quickie, and random at that (Happened to me once for a quickie while at the park)
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The impromptu quickie was the 10 second event. It was the last time we had sex. He said it was because he said he was not used to "warm and WET". I guess meaning his other partner is on the dry side. Anyway I have been hesitant to do it again because I never had anyone cum so quickly. The other time before that was a quickie and it lasted a couple of minutes.
It is a fact of physiology that many to most young males up to about their mid-twenties suffer from Premature Ejaculation. PE happens within the first minute or so of intercourse. If it happens after that it is simply an untimely event. Either way the fix is the same.
Just know and understand that this is not an unusual thing to have happen. Do not let this stop future love making sessions. Learn to deal with it using the techniques described, above.
Practice, practice, practice. Do not give up in haste or because you are disappointed, etc. Think of it this way: so he climaxes quickly, this just means that several minutes later he can enjoy another climax that is more under control. Most guys can have a second orgasm after a refractory period that lasts between ten and thirty minutes. Play with each other in the meantime and have another go at it!
Just think of it this way. You are such a sexual goddess you can make him cum fast. And the only way to get him to last longer is to get him used to it (I.e. Practice)
Yes docs links are great but practice is tons of fun as well:D
Straight from the SI101 Index:
Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation
> Second issue was on bj's. A couple of weeks ago, I had a desire to give him a blow job. I started out really slowly and took my time. He had a hard time maintaining erection. Now he is taking a medication that can decrease libido.
After a few minutes, he says "It's not workin". He said it was his fault due to the meds and work stress.
Communication is the key. Sex is not something we do to someone, it is something a couple does with and for each other. No one is a mind reader so ya just gotta let the other person know how you are responding to his/her kisses and caresses and for what you need now.
Here is another link straight out of the Index:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?