Hi everyone,
I will be visiting a "friend" in a couple weeks. I have always been a little overweight but I think I have gained close to 15 lbs since I last saw him. We are planning on spending the entire night together when I get into town and I am nervous that when he sees me, he will change his mind and make up some excuse about having to leave. I don't want to say anything to him because I don't want him to think I'm self conscious about myself - I'm sure he already knows but I don't have to keep reminding him. Any advice on how to become more confident in myself when the time comes? I even bought some sexy lingerie for the occasion and he is so excited about it.
Thanks!
This "friend" probably sees more in you than a good lay. He could get that anywhere. He probably likes the intimacy with you because of who you are, not how much you weigh. If the guy is so shallow as to dump you on your evening out because of a little extra weight, then darling, you can do so much better.
I have problems with feeling fat sometimes too, but it realy truly is who you are that matters. I know that sounds cliche, but I really believe that. So go out in your sexiest heels and skirt, knock him dead, and have the best damn sex of your life!
Good luck.
This has always been sort of a pet peeve of mine. "He/she won't like me because I'm {fat, thin, short, tall, etc... ad nauseam)." What you need to remember is that you are the only- and best- you that there is. You can only be happy with yourself. You'll never control how other people react. So, why worry about it?
Is there the chance that he- or anyone else- may not find you attractive? Of course. But, he's not the only person in the world. If he doesn't, then there ARE people out there who will. I've said it before... I don't particularly find Brad Pitt attractive... but there are obviously many people who disagree with me. Just like that example, there will always be people who do and don't find you attractive. Enjoy the former and don't worry about the latter.
Here's another little secret... Most people are much more concerned about how they look than worrying about someone else. Tell me... have you ONCE thought, "I wonder if I'll find HIM attractive?" Probably not. My guess is that he's thinking the same thing you are.
So, quit worrying about it. Go into this feeling good about yourself and expecting to have fun. I'm betting that's how it goes. But if not, then KNOW that there really are many other people out there... and the next person (or the next... or the next...LOL) will be better.
Take care.