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Won't let me cum on her...

So... we have been dating for about a month, and just had sex for the first time. She is very much into sex, and doesn't seem prude about it. The sex was good for me right up until the end... I pull out to shoot my load and she gets out of the way... I wasn't ready for it, she was on top and I came all over myself. (lol kinda funny thinking back on it) I have never had this happen to me before. I've always shot my load some where on the girl. I understand not the on the face, some girls aren't into that. But not anywhere? So 1 its still a new relationship and how do i bring it up? and 2 If she 'not' OK with me cumming on her where do I shoot it?

Mike, welcome to the SI1101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

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[QUOTE=madmike77;264713][COLOR="blue">So... we have been dating for about a month, and just had sex for the first time. She is very much into sex, and doesn't seem prude about it. The sex was good for me right up until the end... I pull out to shoot my load and she gets out of the way... [/COLOR]

Why did you pull out? If you believe such an action is a substitute for a condom, think again, do the research.

[COLOR="blue">I wasn't ready for it, she was on top and I came all over myself. (lol kinda funny thinking back on it) [/COLOR]

Yea, I know--been there had it happen.

[COLOR="blue">I have never had this happen to me before. I've always shot my load some where on the girl. I understand not the on the face, some girls aren't into that. But not anywhere?[/COLOR]

The only person that knows the answer is her. Perhaps her movement was an automatic response since she didn't know where your ejaculate might land--like an eye. If you want to know something, ask her.

Please understand that relationships are partnerships, and this includes the romantic and sexual aspects. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other together.

[COLOR="blue">So 1 its still a new relationship and how do i bring it up? [/COLOR]

Pick a time and a place when the two of you are not going to be intimate or have something else scheduled. Inform her you want to talk and tell her what about. Make all questions and concerns up beat, positive, and never accusatory, or mad. You intent should be to "communicate". Explore and learn together.
[COLOR="blue">
and 2 If she 'not' OK with me cumming on her where do I shoot it? [/COLOR]

Asked and answered, above. ASK HER if she has a preference. (HINT:) You can always use a condom! Wearing a condom is certainly more reliable and safer than pulling out. [/QUOTE]

* You can also have a small jar like artichoke hearts come in, at the ready.
* Do you have a washcloth or tissue handy?

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

Where to cum

Well u cum in a tissue or u use a rubber which will catch the cum. Just ask her nicely if she would mind trying to take ur cum on her. If she says no she isn't into that then u don't do it.

It is customary to use a condom and shoot your load inside the condom.In the case that your partner is on some sort of birh control method herself it is customary to shoot the load inside her. You might find it actually feels better.
Why would you pull out to shoot? Been watching porn?

[QUOTE=madmike77;264713]So... we have been dating for about a month, and just had sex for the first time. She is very much into sex, and doesn't seem prude about it. The sex was good for me right up until the end... I pull out to shoot my load and she gets out of the way... I wasn't ready for it, she was on top and I came all over myself. (lol kinda funny thinking back on it) I have never had this happen to me before. I've always shot my load some where on the girl. I understand not the on the face, some girls aren't into that. But not anywhere? So 1 its still a new relationship and how do i bring it up? and 2 If she 'not' OK with me cumming on her where do I shoot it?[/QUOTE]
I'd let you cum on me ;D

Oh I like Lauren!

When im on top, my boyfriend cums on himself, when hes on top, he comes on me. Maybe this is part of the issue?

Dude, you might already have impregnated her. Ever heard about precum? Pulling out before cuming is like saying "I'll shot that one inch big target from a hundread yards with my handgun"

I think condom is a right way for you to cum out on your girlfriend.

Um, you probably freaked her out. Not all girls are okay with it, and even if she EVENTUALLY becomes okay with the idea, you can't suddenly just... do it and expect her to be okay with it. You should have ASKED her beforehand. First time my boyfriend ever did it to me he asked me if it was okay, and things have been fine.
If you're going to have sex with her, you should be able to talk to her. If you can't talk to her about sex you two probably shouldn't be doing it... so I think you should ask her where she'd like you to do it, and I'm sure she'll have an answer for you.

And, like what has already been said, I hope you had a backup and didn't solely use the "pull-out method"... it doesn't work. If she's not on some kind of birth control (and even if she is), you might have just gotten her pregnant.

Ok to the 2 posters above (like third or fourth posts) this isn't a hook up site or a sex chat. If you want that then please feel free to try any other site.

As far as pulling out, if she doesn't want it she doesn't want it. I doubt she would get off of you (being on top) and getting on her knees or rolling over and say let's do it! It is something you must generally state when your about to cum (before pulling out)

And if your having sex without a condom its generally accepted that you will be getting cum on you. If a girl doesn't like cum on her wear a condom. Yea you should ask permission to cum on her face, but it seems odd to have to ask permission to pull out and cum on her stomach. Every girl I've been with usually expects it to be somewhere on her (and by every I meant the girls I've had sex with who are on bcp no playing baby roulette. You never know which pull will leave one in the chamber for next time.

I think it is part of courtesy to ASK where to come.

Some may not like it when you come inside, others may not want you to come on her stomach, etc. I mean; I have become a cum-lover, but there have been times I went to thoroughly scrub my hands after an hj. After the first time he came on my stomach, he washed me head to toe (which was a very nice ending actually :)).

And uhmmm... if the lady doesn't like receiving; what's wrong with a guy coming all over himself???

Absolutely nothing wrong with a guy coming on himself. I've had it happen a few times (since female superior doesn't work very well for me :/ ). Its generally accepted since a girl on top would require a lot more to get it on her.

I think you should ask the first time (I apologize for not stating that originally) but it shouldn't have to be a constant thing. I mean ill ask the first time, and maybe as were cuddling and basking in the post sex glow. But after that I normally don't ask unless I want to do something more kinky (mouth or face) . I will give her a warning but I just don't see why a woman would constantly make you ask her if its okay. I mean maybe I'm missing something but if you talk about it when your both not "desperate for action and willing to do anything for it" then I figure your probably ok right?

Its kinda like a girl who gushes when she cums. (Never had a "squirter" she just would porduce a lot of additional lubricant). She may say she's cumming. But its either I stop oral and get it on my hands and body or I continue it and get it on my face. Its an accepted "casualty" of pleasuring my partners. If I don't like it ill use a dental damn just like if a woman hates cum then why not use a condomcuz it will at some point and time get on you. I mean hell I've had the "just her warm breath before oral made me explode" instances. 99% of all woman will have it occur

Don't force a girl to accept it, and if you really want to do that ask her before you do it beforehand. If she says yes, well lucky you. If a guy would ask me, I would say yes and all over my face. And if they didn't ask, I tell he person if they want to it should be all over my chest or face (both). But girls are different, so always feel free to ask. It's not like she'll kill you lol the worse she could say is no.

just ask her. "hey i noticed you kinda jumped away when i came. where do you want me to cum next time?"

every girl is different.

[QUOTE=Ducy;266183]Absolutely nothing wrong with a guy coming on himself. I've had it happen a few times (since female superior doesn't work very well for me :/ ). Its generally accepted since a girl on top would require a lot more to get it on her.

I think you should ask the first time (I apologize for not stating that originally) but it shouldn't have to be a constant thing. I mean ill ask the first time, and maybe as were cuddling and basking in the post sex glow. But after that I normally don't ask unless I want to do something more kinky (mouth or face) . I will give her a warning but I just don't see why a woman would constantly make you ask her if its okay. I mean maybe I'm missing something but if you talk about it when your both not "desperate for action and willing to do anything for it" then I figure your probably ok right?

Its kinda like a girl who gushes when she cums. (Never had a "squirter" she just would porduce a lot of additional lubricant). She may say she's cumming. But its either I stop oral and get it on my hands and body or I continue it and get it on my face. Its an accepted "casualty" of pleasuring my partners. If I don't like it ill use a dental damn just like if a woman hates cum then why not use a condomcuz it will at some point and time get on you. I mean hell I've had the "just her warm breath before oral made me explode" instances. 99% of all woman will have it occur[/QUOTE]

Ducy, I meant to say that I think you should ask permission even when it's about coming on her stomach. And if your partner is regular, then I wouldn't expect him/her to ask so every time. There may be a chance things do change though. Which could become more kinky or less (after primary dating admitting she actually doesn't like the mess much ;))

Personally, my bf and I never really discussed permissions, we did evaluate, verify, talk and body-read eachother. There was an emotional element to me about him cumming on me and an icky factor about his cum in the beginning. So out of emotional concern and courtesy he let me be in the lead and always gave me a warning before cumming. And was happy to see me progress to more kinky places and developing a liking for his cum. When we have sex, I'm pretty much in control of where he cums till this day... You could say that since my body is the one able to conceive and I monitor my fertility closely, he has handed me this decisionpower with trust :)

O ok gotch RR. I normally have asked before hand if I am going to do it without a condom. But once were past the pleasantries I will normally just talk with her and fin out what she likes or dislikes. My current partner is very open to where it goes. I have told her to tell me (I.e. I will tell her I'm about to cum and then she tell me where) but by that point she is usually too out of it to decide lol. So now its a case of "you surprise me because I will like it wherever you choose to go" the only place I'm not allowed to cum is anywhere that isn't part of her haha.

I wish girls didn't do that "I'm going to do some kinky stuff and once were serious admit I never really enjoyed it". Its the same process of a push up bra on a first date. Your like OMFG I can't wait to see those melons and then the shirt and bra comes off and your like....

:'(

There's nothing wrong with not being too crazy in bed. I love corrupting my gf's. But don't say oh I love facials and then 3 months later (or even a year) say oh well I don't like facials. And I also don't like sex! Then its like....."what to do now....."

I didn't really mean changing opinions on purpose... although admittedly: they exist!

I meant how things sometimes change after the primary phase of dating. How the excitement of things and being lost in the moment seems to wear off. Like at first; they couldn't care less about the sheets intoxicated with lust, but later on; the sheets suddenly become important ;) And the intensity or frequency of sex could could drop too...

Personally; I do understand changing; I've certainly changed throughout this relationship and the love between us has grown. But I don't get why people lose that special spark of the relationship. After more than 3 years I can still look at him with the same excitement as I did before and I still love those intimate moments (though what we do has upgraded :rolleyes:) and I couldn't care less about sheets, what's on tele, what books I could be reading, things I could do on the computer etc, and even could get lost in time. Now; he has his health-reasons for not being as energetic. And he doesn't seem to have changed considering sexual preference. But; he's doing all the other sparetime-activities first! Sex has certainly dropped on his priority list. Like; if there's still time and energy left for some loving, we'll do... Frankly: that's really disappointing and so different from that spark with which we started... :(

I believe most "change" that you have described comes from being content and comfortable. All that "lust and intoxicating love" changes after the first few years. It dies down from a burning wildfire to a warm gentle fire. Studies have even shown chemical changes in the brain after the first few years of a relationship.

This isn't to say the love goes away. Just the way we feel physically. Now what you could do RR is say "Hun, can you come here for a minute." When he comes in the bedroom you handcuff him to the bed and say "I don't care what you need to do I am getting this from you..."

Both parties are happy, and the cops are called for noise ordinance violations. :)

LOL, too bad he's not into tying up (and handcuffing is impossible with both mine and his bed ;))

I don't know if the change comes from being comfortable and content... I felt more comfortable and content while he was still having sex with me regularly :rolleyes: I've felt like it is a novelty wearing off, which actually made me feel angry. He says that isn't it; it's normal for it to wear off a little and priorities to change. (I guess I'm just different from normal; but since I am in numerous ways, I'm sorta used to that LOL! ;))

Our situation has off course become a bit more complicated, since on top of the "normal" there are troubles that kicked in. He is sorry for the lack, but there's just too much going on for him to feel happy and healthy enough for sex. Which is true and must be frustrating to him... So I'm not really complaining about it to him (I'd rather let that out here :)).

I'm already a lot more happy since we're so much more close these days than we were for months before. And he's told me he's certain that all will be ok again between us. We do have to take another hurdle which involves him having surgery (low risk, but still...) I'll be there to support him in any way he needs me to. More than our sake, I just hope for his sake that he'll be feeling better once this is over. Being and feeling healthy and happy is off course more important than anything.

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