ok a few women here have mentioned multiple orgasms... myself being a woman i find that after 1 orgasm my clitoris is too sensitive to touch for at least 5 if not 10 minutes... so ive never been able to have a multiple orgasm... well maybe 20 or so minutes apart... how do you ladies pull it off?

also ive never been able to orgasm from penetration alone, is there anything in particular you're doing down there to make it work?

just curious...

I know it's been a while since the last reply but i'm new here and thought i'd add my 2 cents. I can count on two hands how many times i've reached orgasam through either oral or penatration. With all the others I thought it was just because they didn't care enough to take the time to arouse me properly. I am now with a man who puts my desires before his and is very attentive. He strives to please and follows instructions easly. He is the first man that took the time to find my G-spot. However I have only orgasamed once and that was during intercourse and I was on top. We work on this every night and he knows it will happen when it happens. When masterbating I can do it 12 times in a day and have no problems. This doesn't mean that I don't enjoy sex....I love it and if I can i'll do it 10 times a day. My theory is it's all about the journey not the destination.

If the female partner is un-comfortable in any way, physically, and psychologically, it is near impossible for an orgasm to occur.
Tips from experience:
If un-comfortable, set the mood. Use different techniques of foreplay or touching different areas, explore the body with your fingers,lips,tongue,etc.. not with your minds or ego. The same thing everytime or every other time, get's very repetitve, and eventually, like almost everything else in life, builds a tolerance, or boring atmosphere, because of ...blah blah blah, I'll finish/edit this post when I remember where I was going, too fatigued >_<

I want to add my 2 cents.  I get really annoyed when a man asks me if I have had an orgasm or not.  I think it causes undue pressures. He is not responsible for my pleasure, I am.  I think it was almost better in the old days when women weren't expected to enjoy sex or have orgasms. Now that the pendulum has swung the other way there is such an obsession with female orgasms it takes all the fun out of sex.

I think they are just talking "in general".
I don't know if I've necessarily had an orgasm from JUST the g-spot, but I have from penetration. It's usually a combination of both for me tho.
Maybe this link will help
G Spot 101

m.

i feel soooooo sorry for people who have never had an orgams. Personally i dont understand it as i started masturbating very very young, i think i just felt the need to rub my clitoris and thats how i cum. I have to have clitoral stimulation to cum. If i ever meet a guy who can make me cum like i can make myself cum, he'll be mine forever.

indeed a very interesting topic.... im a woman that also has trouble coming, tho i do enjoy so much the intimacy that goes with sex or other sexual activities.... its got me thinking about my own situation (was posting earlier in "dating/new relationship section).... yah i guess i just need to relax and try to communicate more with my new partner.... like some of you were saying, there are these expectations that come from god knows where that just get in the way of things... bottom line is that i love being touched and held and kissed and all those good things, so im gonna try to focus on that.

This is such an interesting thread.

Like all humans, men tend to see things from their own perspective (a bit of a generalisation here, but men tend to have no problems cumming). Orgasm is virtually assumed.

I had a gf once who simply couldn't orgasm. Of course its not the sort of thing you like to ask about initially... " erm, excuse me, could i just check whether its worth perceivering with or could we just skip and go to the huggy bit (assuming i am not asleep by then!)?"

I've also had gf's who just take a little longer to get there than others. So what happens is you have to use your judgement. I have to say that i have been guilty of trying to hard on occasions.

The trouble with orgasms is that most of it is in the head and it doesn't take much to crush one. My ex was astounded once when i didn't orgasm when we made love. Not just astounded... she was insulted! The next time we made love she pretty much told me she was gonna check up on me!!! Talk about pressure. It is probably no suprise that i didn't make it that night either. The pressure mounted each time, lol. It sorted itself out eventually fortunately.

Damn, i forgot why i was ranting about this.

Ah yes... I was trying to say that I would very much want my gf to orgasm. I would definately ask what feels good etc. But i'd be very carefulwhat i did say becuaseI'd hate to make matters worse.

A little aside. I watched an programem on the BBC a year back. It suggested that 80%ish women can orgasm after medical investigation if they are currently having problems.
Apparentyl there are a whole variety of problems that can occur and many are very easily treatable.

I mention this purely because it would be a shame for anyone to go through life missing out on something if it doesn't have to be that way.

Good point of view Finewine, thats how I do it

Victory:
I have found it does not come when you have in your mind a certain expectation of what it should be and that expectation doesn't happen. You want it so badly that you cannot achieve it because of the wanting.
The mind must allow the body to respond and not hold it back with an expectation that is wanted so badly that the body cannot see anything but what the mind expects and freezes.

Cumming connotes to me some sort of ejaculation.
Orgasms do not have to cum to be orgasmic.
Orgasmic to me means a total involuntary response by the body with the mind deep in the response.

Don't be down on yourself. I have been in your state of mind before. You can pm if you would like and we can talk more about how I overcame it.

Well, when me and my bf are having sex, I cannot cum from either oral or penile thrusting, its like I'm numb down there or something, it disappoints me because I like to make him happy, but I don't get the same back, he tries hard and I enjoy all he does, argh it sucks to be me

Hey Muppet,

Thanks for posting the topic. In a weird way I've guilty of being Mr. Annoying.

See when my wife and I were first dating I could make her have the most intense orgasms. Everytime she had one of these Mt. movers I was so happy and beaming with accomplishment.

As time passed the became more and more infrequent. She couldn't tell me why and said that she was still enjoying herself all the same. I am still trying to come to terms and accept this. You see I was not getting the satisfaction of creating HER BIG O's so I would try harder and harder.

This is no doubt where I'm guilty of being Mr. Annoying. I began to want her to tell me what could be preventing them, was I doing something wrong? She would just say I don't know and don't care sometimes it's just nice, don't worrry about it.

Now we have a loving, trusting relaxed relationship but I still beat my own self up because I feel like she can't possibly like having sex w/o going over the top and if she doesn't it's my fault.

The annoying guys you run into are probably thinking "hmmm I know I have put other girls over the top so I know what to do. Good thing you found me I will do the same to you." Which is obviously wrong in so many ways but guys like to solve imaginary problems and imaginary problems come with imaginary uniform answers.

I'd have to say, Muppet, that you may be on to something when you mention comfort and trust.

My ever-developing theory is that we ought to be going for maximum pleasure and that might include releasing the orgasm(s) that are already inside... it's not so much a matter of figuring out how and what to touch as a matter of creating a situation that allows powerful feelings to overwhelm us. One of my more memorable experiences was being with a women who "came" while neither of us were actually touching her. (Yeah, surprised the crap out of both of us! LOL)

When I said "that would be enough for me," I didn't mean I wouldn't want to build things... to attempt to create the atmosphere where those powerful feelings can build and release... but it's really about the total persons and the total experience.

[QUOTE=Quote ]"Moaning... gasping... legs/body shaking..."[/QUOTE]
at least it sounds like you have a reasonably good time. currently, i can't orgasm from sex or oral either (i know that me being a guy that's a bit more unusual than no orgasm for the ladies). Unfortunately my ex was stuck on trying to make me orgasm, and no matter how much i told her it felt awesome, she'd give up and say there was no point since i wasn't going to cum. that ended up causing some of the many problems that led to the break up.

I say this because I want the accusers to know that it's not like i'm macho and think my technique's better than the next guy's. what i am trying to say is that i will put forth genuine effort to try to bring about orgasm. as long as she's fine not orgasming, i'll have fun giving her tons of pleasure while i'm trying. Since i am in the same boat as many of you ladies, i have a little more understanding about it (though i really would like to be able to orgasm, it gives the significant other a sense of accomplishment usually).

I am guessing that its the same for many women. It's the same for me, and though I tell the guy I am not easy to please, hes like "oh, well thats all about to change".. like he's mr. Amazing... and he never is.

i love when people make assumptions that i'm saying that crap because i'm macho and all when it's just because an orgasm was an important thing for my ex. i never suggested a solution. i simply said how it was for myself, and posed a question to muppet.

Interesting. Muppet states a simple fact. One that is reality for many women. Four guys respond with solutions when Muppet already stated that that is an annoyance.

25% of all women never, or very rarely, experience orgasm. 50 % of us, and I am in this group, never, or very rarely, experience orgasm from penile thrusting. Most of us greatly enjoy sex even when we have no real desire for orgasm. Many of us (most?) have faked orgasm simply to get it over with or avoid hurting some jerk's feelings.

Don't tell Muppet how to get over it; accept what she has to say and accept that you are not responsible for any woman's orgasm. Take care of your own and we can handle ourselves quite well, thank you.

What Muppet74 says is true.......some women just don't cum.
Some never will with a lover, although they can enjoy every bit of the sex. It is only a problem if you want to and can't.
Or if he wants a girl who can and you can't....but you still want him.

I've known girls both with and without that aspect of their sexuality. Speaking as a guy.....it is a very rewarding feeling
when she does it and it does give a guy a special satisfaction
when it happens for his lover............otherwise....why would
we be hearing about the big "O" all the time?

eDJ

Good advice, Muppet. But as you probably suspect, it will mostly fall on deaf ears. I can't help but notice how the themes of the replies so far contain suggestions and advice as if the issue is your ability to orgasm.

That's not a criticism of the replies, it's an observation that we (collectively) are obsessed with orgasms.

So many people tend to equate sex with power when it's supposed to be about pleasure.

"Moaning... gasping... legs/body shaking..."

If that's enough for you, it's enough for me!

When I was in my first sexual relationship with steady girlfriend
I, as a guy, had difficulty with it. I could have sex for long periods of time and she was quite pleased with what she had found in me. She let me know all the time how happy she was to be with me....but I still couldn't do it.

I had heard so many lectures from my parents about the consequences of getting a girl in trouble etc etc....and this girl had just had a child months before and given it for adoption...I was a bit put off to say the least. Still she had the experience with guys I lacked with girls. All I had going for me was my "fortress of defences" I had become. I wasn't
too feeling as I was too intellect driven for those, I was somehow on constant guard so to be in control of myself.

The ability to cum or orgasm comes from allowing ones body to
enjoy its sensorary processes. When the mind is the custodian of all these processes and is working from a group of codes, or mannerisms one has been taught it is likely to
firewall any feelings trying to get thru(as if they are viruses).
When this happens there is a conflict between the behaviors
of a young person who has been warned not to do it and the emerging young adult who is learning to become sexual and experimenting.

Lots of young people have this problem, and when you're a girl hearing some young punk who thinks he's a stallion telling
he has all the answers.....no doubt your defence shield will come up and flash "BullShit Warning". Of course the guys will tell you that cause they want sex...maybe even sex with you
Muppet74 because they genuinely like you(ever think of that?)
and the guys know the girls don't go for the wimp-o loosers.
Just the same, it leaves you with heightened suspicions of guys in general.....and you'll never cum in that frame of mind I'll assure you.

Guys and girls both have to learn to allow themselves to "LetGo"(observing their protection) but otherwise allowing a
physical mood to take place where intellect is dismissed for the time being and sensual pleasure absorb your consciousness. You may be in your own fantasy daydream as he is having sex with you to do this. Some girls really like doggy position as they aren't looking at the guy while this takes place, or they want a totally dark room. Before I could cum....for some reason.....by lover covered her head with a pillow so I didn't see her yet could view her breast or look down and see myself penetrating her. The idea was to allow
me to just be able to cum when having sex with her. I finally
had to masturbate for her like that and cum on her which pleased her and she rewarded me with her affection. I had even had fears of being naked with her when we first met and wanted to become intimate as we got to know each other.

As time went on, I could manage to cum for her and learned to sense the feelings I would get inside which weren't anything
to do with thinking.....they were feeling. I slowly learned this path taking my first steps in my early twenties, to a point that is now second nature. What made it possible for me was I had a good woman who knew and understood, and realized she had a chance for a constructive relationship for her, what
it would take to get me started to become functional sexually.

Prior to her I had sort of hid myself from girls and became more
and more isolated with female contact. I found myself arguing with girls and appearing aloof to them when they tried to engage me and get to know me with their flirtation. I didn't know girls that well, I didn't know how to relate to them,
and it is sure if I were with one I wouldn't cum if we had sex.
What I learned from this phase of my life is that it wasn't anyone who could make me cum but myself. I'd learned to do it looking at pictures and masturbating and fantasizing but with a real person there was uncertainty and possible danger.
Today I would imagine it as more of a left brain vs right brain
conflict somehow.

This is what I can share from my own experience for others here with this problem or dilemma. I'd mention this old book
which I once saw in paperback...you could probably find it used....."The Sensuous Woman" by "J". I'm sure you could find it used or even at a public library somewhere. It isn't hard to read and may be a big help getting your sexual self
on track.

eDJ

Hmmm...

Most woman do not have an orgasm until late in their 20's. I think their are many factors that come into play with the situation.

I was wondering Muppet... Do you masterbate, and if so can you bring about your own orgasm?

I have been very lucky in this aspect... I was able to cum at a very young age. I am 20 now, and did not have sex until I was 17. I have multiple orgasms! This is because I know my body.

I think you have the wrong mindset... if you are thinking 'Yeah right.... you cannot make me cum,' chances are, you are not going to climax.

Hope this helps!
Kathleen

my ex couldn't cum from sexual intercourse either. when she told me, i didn't try any harder than i already had. i knew that i could make her cum, it was just with my tongue and not my penis. so when wanting to please her, i'd go down on her rather than suggest sex.

i'm kinda curious, are you able to orgasm from oral sex?