hi guys ok our first time was ok she was hurting a little bit and it was going good untill 45 min later i came and by then her pain was gone well then a week later we decided to do it again on the floor but she complained about the pain so we stoped and this weekedn we did it on my bed but we used different positions to loosen her up and we were at it going away at it for a couple hours going slow to get rid of the pain and we used lubricant to help and after a while she got soore and so did i but by then i still wasnt all the way in her so we decided to go for it later in the car but it was still painfull for her so uhmm yeah i wanted to know since we see each other 1 time a week and we do it about 1 time a week is that enough time for it to heal and get tight again?
Mon, 08/19/2002 - 08:37
#1
Will it hurt again?
It might hurt but it wont hurt as much as the first time, You have to keep on having sex, and have your b/f finger you a lot and each time put more fingers in to open you up a little bit. Like I said before, it takes some time, if you dont want it to hurt you have to keep on doing things, or else it will hurt.
I lost my virginity in feb... first 2 times hurt.... next 2 times were good. Then we never had sex for a week and it kinda hurt again. Well now when we do it next it will have been about 2 1/2 months. Will it hurt again? Will I bleed more??
(merged into this topic by the moderator)
^second that motion
Hi lilone. Nice to see a familiar face around here
. Anyway, on to the topic at hand.
cool macs is right; it's not just the first time that hurts. For me, sex hurt for the first EIGHT times. I even went to a gynocologist, but she couldn't find anything wrong with me. I have had sex more than eight times, so obviously I've stopped having problems in that area.
I think the problem is mostly mental. It hurts the first time, so she's afraid it will hurt the second time, so she tenses up, so it does hurt. Unfortunately, I held that belief while I was having this problem, but that knowlege didn't help me at all--it still hurt. The only help I can give you is to say that the problem eventually solved itself for me, so it will probably solve itself for your girlfriend.
by the way, cc's also right. Long sex can hurt even the most practiced individual.
if you are having sex for a "couple of hours" theres your answer probably - no matter how many times you have sex before, if you have sex for that long she WILL get sore even with lubricant and then trying to have sex a while later lets say a few hours later wont help because she will still be swollen and sore from your marathon.
A good idea would be to have as much foreplay as possible... By fingering, you can get her used to have something inside, and you can, in essence, strech her out a little before the main event... Problem is as a guy you have no idea of the pain...
Cool thing is you can kind of get an idea by playing around in the anal region. I'm male, straight, but I love it when a girl sticks a finger or two in the backdoor while getting head... though the first couple times, especially the first couple strokes were so painful... I think that guys should have this done before ever getting to stick it in so they have a good understanding of why pushing harder is not the best idea...
Anal play for everybody!
just my 2 cents
I was in the same situation, since you only see her once a week like i did with my boyfriend, it can close up a little bit. If she masturbates that will help it a little bit, It takes time to losen a girl up, and patience, so dont go rough with her be gentle and each time you do it go a little further in and a little harder, it might hurt but it will help in the long run
i'm guessing you are reffering to her second and third time ever... Its not just the first time that hurts, the first few will... Make sure to be slow and gentle until her "garage" has stretched out a little...
Some lube could help, and don't start again until the pain goes away, if the pain stays for more then a couple times see a doctor...
and not to raise any flags prematurely, I'm not sure of the name of it, but there is a disease that causes many girls huge amounts of pain when trying to have sex... It has to do with their not being enough lining somewhere in there... Someone told me about it, but I can't remember too much... seeing a doctor is always the best bet...
Well, with a little more factual information and less bravado over how you last, maybe some comment could be made.
Tell her to see a doctor and describe what she is actually experiencing.
i'm with cc... you're going way too long for her to handle right now. Just about any woman would be sore after a couple hours! If it doesn't hurt her for the first 30 or so mins, then i'd assume she is physically ok; it's the long assault on her tender parts that is hurting her.
Well it depends on 2 factors. The size of your car and the size of her garage.
If you're emourmously endowed then the problems obvious. If not, then either she's really really nervous, she may have a comparatively small vagina or you may want a doctors opinion..i'm not sure...
firstly, if u stop thinking it will hurt the next time, then the chances of it hurting the next time dramatically reduce, because it hurt the first time, ppl expect the second time to be the same, but this is only the caase a) if ur guy is well endowered, b) if it has been a LONG time, more than a month or so or c) if u expect it to hurt. if u expect it to hurt then ur musxcles will naturally tense to make it easier to take pain, but this tenseing cause more pain in it self, cause the hole is a lot smaller - so first step is to think positive, with lots of foreplay, and some lube if u dont get moist enough for ur own comfort, IT WONT HURT. this is a purely mentalist approach, ur in control of your body, if you have the will power to choose to ignore certain signals, then u can ignore certain signals. but im a guy, so hey, what could i possibly know about pain?
the key is for the woman to b in control for the first few times, as this way, its less likely that the guy can thrust too much and make things tender. if she control how deep he goes and how much force goes into it, then she is not likely to do her self harm, and so for both involved it is better for her to take the lead, and do as she does. positions can then change later in the relationship when the garage is suited in size and comfort to the car. just take it slow and does worry about it cause worrying will b the cause of discomfort.
on a secondary point, i notice someone asked about whether it would bleed again after a few months on no activity. as far as i can tell this would be a no, the bleeding comes from the hymen splitting away, and this happens on losing your virginity. once its split, it cant re-attach, or so i think, and so the chances of more bleeding are minimal. if i am wrong about this then someone tell me, i like to know theses things, but i got the bits to know about, and im not a biologist!