I have been going out with one girl and recently had sex with her for the first time and soon I would like to ask her for a blow job the only problem is I dont want to return the favor. I have always found the idea of oral sex on a women to be disgusting. It doesnt matter how pretty she is the thought of it kind of makes me feel sick. I dont mean it to be offensive if it is. But is this a fear that im going to have to overcome or how should I deal with this?
Sat, 11/01/2008 - 21:04
#1
will this be a problem
Not all women want to either give and or to receive. And just because they enjoy to give does not mean they want to receive and visa versa.
I enjoy to give, yet not receive. Talk to her, again communication is the most important part of a sexual relationship.
Talk to her about it at a time when its not on the table. You know, just a fully clothed general conversation about which of you likes what kinds of things. Comparing likes and dislikes.
Personally, I love both giving and receiving, but would never ask to receive. Luckily, T loves to give just as much as I do so he offers. But even though I never ask, I WOULD never ask for something I wouldn't do for him if he asked.
[quote=duh477;227896]I have been going out with one girl and recently had sex with her for the first time and soon I would like to ask her for a blow job the only problem is I dont want to return the favor. I have always found the idea of oral sex on a women to be disgusting. It doesnt matter how pretty she is the thought of it kind of makes me feel sick. I dont mean it to be offensive if it is. But is this a fear that im going to have to overcome or how should I deal with this?[/quote] Depends on the woman & her views....personally it would not "fly" with me since I find nothing repulsive about the human body.
What if she said it was okay? And later changes her mind since she is more open or adventurous?
To ask to receive when you will not give is being UNFAIR & SELFISH and you MUST talk with her about this BEFORE you ask for fellatio. That way, she can decide whether or not to keep you as her lover or to trade you in on someone else.
If it were me, I'd kick you to the curb. I do NOT tolerate selfishness in my lovers.
If a girl told me that she wanted me to go down on her, but thought the idea of giving me a blow job was disgusting, I'd laugh in her face and point her to the door.
If you've never actually performed cunnilingus before, it may be something worth trying. Once you do it, you may realize it's not what you thought it would be. I know I was a bit grossed out by the prospects at first. Now, it's something that I truly enjoy doing, assuming she keeps everything tidy and clean of course.
yahh if you can't give it you don't have to get it tought s*** but hey it's your choice
pffft. How very selfish of you. Don't expect to recieve oral if you aren't willing to give it. And you never truly know if you like something without having tried it. If you are lucky she might be one of those girls that enjoys giving but not recieving, but don't count on it. This is definitely something you need to make her aware of before you expect her to give you oral. If you do not tell her of your aversion to giving oral, but allow her to go down on you, you are indeed of shady character and should be kicked to the curb.
I think you should at least give it a try before deciding that this is going to be a huge obstacle in your sex life. It may even take some time before you know exactly what to do and can enjoy it, but the more open minded you try to be about it, the better your chances. If you give it an honest attempt and really find that you can't bring yourself to do it, then thats fine and you'll just have to be open with your partners about it.
Never ask for what you are not willing to do yourself.
Honestly I think it's really selfish to expect her to perform any act that you will not. It's common courtesy. I know many women that wouldn't want a guy around that doesn't perform oral sex on them. It's just that important to their sex lives. Although my wife never says it outright, I know it's MUCH easier for her to orgasm if I go down on her.
In my humble opinion I think performing cunnilingus and doing it well makes you a much better sexual partner. I also think a woman that has mastered the art of the blow job is also a more complete partner. It has to go both ways. If the female doesn't enjoy recieving, then fine. I just think that's not a likely senario. I haven't talked to one woman in my life that didn't enjoy it. Although I can't say I've asked every woman I've met.
And I've never been told by a guy that going down on me was so important that our relationship ended. I just don't enjoy it, now I have no problem going down on him.