[COLOR="SeaGreen"]I have a problem, my wife and i have been married for 3 years and yet EVERY time we have sex it hurts her. I have done everything from performing oral sex until she almost orgasms and then putting my penis inside her to manually stimulating her and then putting it inside her. We have tried water based as well as oil based lubricants. She tells me that she really does orgasm every time but it is mixed with pain. She has to SLOWLY guide my penis inside of her and then it HAS to be me on top with her just laying there. ANY position other than missionary with me on top hurts her. I am only 23 and she is my first. I always invisioned at least the first part of my sex life to be fun, adventurous, and exploratory. She does not want to use ANY toys and now it has gotten to the point where we only have sex maybe once a month (if im lucky). At first i thought that it was because she just wasnt stretched out but at this point it has been 3 years of sex and it still hurts. She says that it burns. For those of you that are wondering, she has been involved in an involuntary "sexual" relationship in the past with ONE person. other than that we are eachothers first. Someone please help. I will answer any questions that may help you figure this one out.[/COLOR]
Mon, 07/09/2007 - 06:56
#1
Wife has pain from sex - THIS ONES FOR YOU LADIES.
ehhh...i'm kinda the same way (even down to my guy being the same age, and having had an involuntary encounter with another person...scary)
i get the same way too where i usually want my guy on top...occasionally if i am on top and lean all the way forward this will not cause as much pain either...most of the time i do get a burning sensation.
this may gross you out but i've found that most lubes (even water based) cause more burning and that saliva is actually the best thing. :eek: usually my guy goes down on me and gets everything -very- wet...and also i could use my mouth to wet him as well. i know it sounds wierd, but this has caused me the least amount of pain :o
At this point, i will try anything. I just want a "normal" sex life. I abstained all the way through school (which is a major feat in itself) just so that i could have the sex life I wanted, and now it feels like i cant. Thank you for responding so quick. I appreciate it and would appreciate more input from ANYONE. Thanks again.
Encourage her to see her doctor and discuss the matter with her/him.
Pain during sex is NOT normal. But there are two issues here. Many times what we perceive as "paiin" is just being overly-sensitive as the nerves keep firing. Deep breaathing and relaxing - riding through it, is what is done. But I'd still go to my doctor to make sure there's nothing physically wrong. With your lady you also have a third issue - that involuntary sex episode in her life. If she hasn't sought counseling for that, now would be a great time for her to do so.
Hang in there - it can get better!
Off to the gyn for her and the whole thing has got to be laid out for the doctor. Something is not right and only a full exam can begin to discover what it is. The gyn can refer to other services that may be indicated - including counselling.
[QUOTE=go4it;185983]Presumably the sex you have been engaged in for the 3 years of your marriage has been anal sex. Give her a break and try vaginal sex - she will love you for it.[/QUOTE]
Where do you get that idea from?? read the damn post!
With all due respect go4it, i do know which hole to stick it in. As far as the responses about the gym. I do appreciate it, however, i know that it doesnt work because she has worked at a gym and worked out at a gym for 5 years. The biggest struggle is going to be convincing her to see the dr.
Good God! NOT THE GYM; the gyn - gynaecologist, doctor for women's parts, where she goes for an annual check. This is the doctor!!!!
If she will not see the doctor, she will not improve. Finis.
[QUOTE=anonymous1313;185996]With all due respect go4it, i do know which hole to stick it in. As far as the responses about the gym. I do appreciate it, however, i know that it doesnt work because she has worked at a gym and worked out at a gym for 5 years. The biggest struggle is going to be convincing her to see the dr.[/QUOTE]
thats quite funny thank you for brightening my day and to reiterate what is said above gyn is short for gyeinacologist(sp?) and they deal with women...google it...
oh and just to make it clear im not making fun of you i could have easily made the mistake also with all of the people out there who now type 100 words per minute and have no care for spelling or grammer anymore
[QUOTE=Brandye;185997]Good God! NOT THE GYM; the gyn - gynaecologist, doctor for women's parts...[/QUOTE]
Thank you for making my day, Brandye.
Doctors are your friend...
Oops. Well i guess i dont know everything lol. Thank you for the info about the gyN. I appreciate the input and i am still open to any more suggestions. Shoot, ive waited 3 years, i will take all the suggestions i get. Thanks again everyone.
I also had pain when I first got married, but was in my 30's and not new to sex, although it had been over a year since I had been intimate with anyone. After us trying a couple of times, my new husband insisted that I see a doctor. I went to see a gyn and found out I had a cervical tumor, aka. cervical cancer. Pain is usually an indicator that something is wrong, if you love her, make her see the doctor, it could save her life. It did mine!
My wife had to go to the ER not to long ago and had all of those procedures done. We are unable to have kids and so she has gone through numerous tests and nothing was found (thank God). Thank you for the info though. I do appreciate it.
I am 21 years old, and I have been sexually active since I was 14. I have only had a few partners in my life but with every one I had terrible pain during sex and a bad burning sensation EVERY time, especially if the sex lasted more than about 10 minutes. Like your wife, the only position that was tolerable was missionary. I went to my gynocologist several times over the course of 2 years. I had papsmears done, I had microscopic slides, I was tested for every STD under the sun. Everything came back normal every time except occassionally I would have a bacterial infection that they would give me antibiotics for and it would go away for a few months then come back. I did a lot of research on my own and found a whole bunch of information about hormone imbalance/deficiency in women. There are 2 different kinds, either estrogen imbalance/deficiency or progesterone imbalance/deficiency. The symptoms associated with this are painful intercourse, mood swings, insomina, bacterial infections, bladder infections (UTI), and lots of others. Do some research and see if your wife has any of the other symptoms. If she does, she can go to an Endocrinologist and ask for a hormone screening and they will test all of her levels. When I had mine done, my test results showed that my hormone levels were at the stage of a middle-aged woman at pre-menopause. I am 21 years old, so obviously there was a big problem there. The endocrinologist put me on an estrogen cream and estrogen supplements and since then I have been doing much much better. However, if I have sex too often, many of my symptoms return.
They checked my wifes estrogen levels and said that everything was normal. Thank you very much for the info though.
edited out...