Most people who post here tell stories that their first time was awkward, clumsy, unpleasant, painful or just plain bad. Yet, it seems most people don't quit having sex after their first time, but go on doing so instead. Given that the first time is not a good experience, what is it that drives people to try it again and again until it gets good?
Thu, 01/08/2009 - 15:26
#1
Why go on after first time?
A#1: H O R M O N E S!
#2: for guys, the challenge of getting it right. The fragile male ego won't let him fail.
#3: Like the expression: "if it wasn't for the bad luck, I'd have no luck at all...." Much can be said that for as disappointing as the first time or two were, it beat the alternative of going solo.
#4: The biological urge to reproduce no matter what.
My first time was pretty good. As to my motivation its not just sex its the desire to be intimite with a guy. I remained a virgin for a lot longer than the majority of my mates, but that didn't mean that I couldn't be sexually intimite with my first bf.
I still remember how excited I was the first time I saw my bf naked, I was excited kind of short of breath but I still knew I wasn't ready to have sex, it was just under a year from that point before we did have sex.
So apart from the sex itself there's lying in bed with a guy, watching how he responds to you, touching a body that doesn't feel like your own. Penetrative sex is actually a pretty small part, and just because that part is bad doesn't mean there aren't other things to enjoy from being with another person.
It's not just your first time that can be awkward, clumsy... can be your first time again with someone new as I discovered. It's like finding your feet, another reason for continuing to have sex is the desire to please the other person. My first time, I felt I had been clumsy and awkward - not really the whole of the sex, just me individually.
Even if my first time sex had been down right terrible... it still isn't bad as having sex is a great feeling, and when you know the next time could be better again is like WOW...
Getting intimate also makes you feel closer to your partner and if we all gave up having sex, well maybe we'd get bored of each other a lot quicker...lol
My first time was pretty good i'd say, my gf had sex before me, which made me kinda insecure but as we were having sex, i made her orgasm before me, a feat im proud of and it lasted more then 10mins. But my male ego, as it were, made me want to please my gf to the best of my abilities, and it really paid off. Though since then, there has been a couple of disappointing sexual encounters, but little hiccups like that happen to everyone,so mostly i just forgot about it and not let it interfere with future sexual encounters
The replies, above, are excellent!
When it comes to "experience", some of you may want to read this:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
Honestly.. bragging rights. My first couple weren't great fun, but I kept going just to be able to say 'yea, got another one boys' to the lads -- and then before I knew it, it was fun!
[QUOTE=Humble;231750]Most people who post here tell stories that their first time was awkward, clumsy, unpleasant, painful or just plain bad. Yet, it seems most people don't quit having sex after their first time, but go on doing so instead. Given that the first time is not a good experience, what is it that drives people to try it again and again until it gets good?[/QUOTE]
Awkward-perhaps so is most peoples' first attempt at any physical activity beginning with learning to walk.
Clumsy - see Awkward
Painful - yes but you get over it, or discover that you are a masochist and like it!:D
Just plain bad - Loosing your virginity because you wanted to? Doing it with someone you are attracted to? How bad can that be?
I was disappointed that the first time I had vaginal sex - assuming that is what you mean by "first time"- I ejaculated in less than 15 seconds and lost my erection. So I started caressing her. In less than two minutes I ws hard again and went for another 30 seconds or so. Went down on her, within 5 minutes was hard again and probably didn't last a minute. After that I gave her the best total body lovemaking I could with the rest of my body.
It was not what I had hoped my first lay would be, but I still remember it fondly. We made a date to make an entire afternoon of it two days later. We practiced, we got better. Decades later I am still practicing and hopefully still getting better.
It's pretty much unheard of for anyone to pick up a baseball and immediately have an accurately aimed 95 mph fastball, or to pick up a violin and even play a scale in tune let alone sound like Joshua Bell. Do you think someone who has never been in a kitchen can just throw some stuff together from the cupboard and create five star cuisine? I use these examples because sports, music, and food are the things most like sex that I know.
You are not supposed to be brilliant at anything the first time. People continue having sex for the same reason they continue doing anything- they enjoy doing it and many want to get better and learn to enjoy it more.
Now dump the gloomy attitude. Read the sage advice on this forum, explore the site, get yourself a good sex manual and a willing partner and get to work. If you find that you are not enjoying it and do not wish to continue get back to me.
[COLOR="black">[SIZE="6">ORGASMS[/SIZE][/COLOR] - that's why.
Cuz its sex and it feels good, and no matter how bad some one describes their first time you know they liked it to some degree lol
Because it was so different, felt good, even though a little clumsy, felt good, was fun, felt good, and just needed it again. Did I mentioned I enjoyed it and it felt good. With practice it just gets better and still feels great.
OK, so it seems that not all first-times were as bad as they are sometimes made out to be and most had at least some positive elements...
lol i agree with summer... sex is supposed to be a great thing and if its not that good part of your expectations makes you think it was worse... but in the end bad sex is just like cold pizza... pretty damn good anyway
that and curiosity... everyone else makes such a big deal about it and well... part of ya keeps trying till you get it right... and i whole heartedly disagree with dancingdoc... when your ego is hurt you either do one of 2 things... keep going at it or leave and never come back... alot of ppl pick the latter...
[QUOTE=odis85;232397]but in the end bad sex is just like cold pizza... pretty damn good anyway [/quote]
OK, fair enough!
i agree with eek. Orgasms is about all. haha
i have too say its all about the sex and hearing that sex gets better no matter what and it does trust me
[QUOTE=Humble;231750]Most people who post here tell stories that their first time was awkward, clumsy, unpleasant, painful or just plain bad. Yet, it seems most people don't quit having sex after their first time, but go on doing so instead. Given that the first time is not a good experience, what is it that drives people to try it again and again until it gets good?[/QUOTE]
Well, if you're as lucky as I am, you're first time was really ridiculously good. This had set off a very open and enthusiastic entrance into the world of sex. I think that the conditions of your first time have a direct influence on your sexual life as a whole.