[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"]Alright so I'm having a lot of sex problems at the moment and here is another one. I love sex. I would have it at least 3 times a day if I could. Ok now here's the problem. For some reason I do not initiate sex. It is rare that I start anything at all. BUT when he starts making moves on me or actually touching me sexually I sometimes act like he's not even doing it. I hate this. I dont' know why I do it. He obviously wants it because he wouldn't be touching me and I'm dying to have it and screaming yes on the inside, but I act like nothing is happening. Sometimes don't even respond at all until he's almost on top of me trying to kiss me while touching me. I get so mad at myself and dont' understand why I do it. Sometimes I feel like I look stupid or feel like it's my first time every being touched. Am I wierd and why is this happening?[/FONT]
Wed, 08/08/2007 - 03:53
#1
Why can't I initiate sex?!?!?!?!
Probably b/c you already know the outcome--lack of satisfaction, it becomes a conditioned response and you are getting repressed.
Wanting it this often is not odd especially if your needs are not met.
There are times though that he leaves me very satisfied. And I try to think each time we have sex,that this will be that time again. So I keep an open mind, and while he starts touching me I'm thinking yes, and that I want him too. Just on the outside you wouldn't know that he was even doing anything to me unless you actually saw what he was doing.
Perhaps it's just fear or there is something negative happening in your relationship?
Nothing negative happening that I can tell. We have a lot of stress though. I have a child and we live a hour and a half apart. Other than that and the normal day to day stress, I don't see anything that would we're having a problem with except these sexual issues. I just feel like I'm so shy towards him anymore. Every once in a while I've gotten a hair up my butt and basically jumped him. It is rare though. When he comes onto me fully it really turns me on and the sex is great. He says the same. But I just can't see to do it. I have to try and work myself up to it and then I chicken out and rub his thigh or something. He feels like I don't want him anymore and that is not at all the case. I'm just at a loss of what to do.
You are responding to how you were raised that is sex = dirty/bad. Also your body image is probably not the best- as is the case with most women. And then there's that whole "good girls don't" thing.
Lady, you're a grown woman now and you can decide how you want to live your life and what you will believe.
Accept yourself. Unbridle your sexuality.
To begin: read the body worship sticky post and do that to him while you're both naked.
Next: think (remember) how good sex is during your day as you go about doing what you do
You could also read: http://www.iep.utm.edu/s/sexualit.htm for insights into sexuality and why you were raised as your were.
Cut loose and make your sexuality fully and completely an accepted part of you.
I am like this too, I find initiating sex really hard to do. I just can't do it, no matter how much I want to. I think it might be something you just need to conquer and keep trying, if you chicken out once, then try try again.
You may also want to read www.wickedwomangroup.us for further information and support.
I am new to this site so could someone please tell me where the body worship sticky post is? thanks.
Do a search on board "worship"