Hello Jack, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.
> im 19 i can cum when i wank but not when im having sex i dont know why ? any ideas plz
Every person masturbates in much the same way for their gender; however, beginning shortly after learning how, each of us includes a bit of technique that is unique to the individual. So, while a girl may know the basics of stroking a penis, she will likely do it wrong for each guy she has sex with because of this individual uniqueness. The same goes for guys with girls. It is therefore necessary for each to demonstrate to the other how s/he masturbates and to guide them until they learn to mimic the other person's movements. Key to your success is to provide verbal or non-verbal feedback to your partner for how you are reacting to their kisses and caresses and for what you need now/next.
If by "sex" you mean being able to climax from a hand job and/or oral stimulation, please read the article listed in the Index that discusses the how of all this. If by "sex" you mean intercourse, then it is important to understand that the vagina presents a very different set of sensations than does a hand. The best way to learn how to react to this difference is to begin intercourse only after you have been brought to the very peak of your arousal yet can still maintain control sufficient to move around and get into position.
Spend a minimum of half an hour making out. Women require this time in order to raise their level of arousal, men benefit as an aside. All too often nowadays, guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to an orgasm is from lots of stroking (if stopping with Foreplay) or lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking if stopping with intercourse. WRONG. This is the purpose of making out and going around the proverbial bases!
If you would like to clarify what is or is not happening then perhaps we can supply more information. What I do recommend is that you read each of the articles in the Index, including the one mentioned. Knowledge is empowering!
> i never have cum while having any type of contact with a girl
What type of "contact with a girl" have you had, Jack? Are you talking about Foreplay {a hand job and/or oral stimulation)? Are you talking about intercourse?
> its really hard to hear them say its them
It may well be them; however, having said that, communication and providing feedback are key to letting the other person know how we are responding and for what we need now/next. Mind readers we are not. Second, take your partner's hand in yours and move it as needed varying the grip, speed, and, placement all the while providing feedback, as explained, above.
Please keep in mind that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Each person is responsible for his/her own orgasms, we do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them.
So, while it may be their fault, so to speak, really it is your fault for not showing your partner how you need her to manipulate you, when, how, etc., then providing feedback. Do not make a big deal out of this because in most situations it is not. Read the article on "Experience".
Speaking of feedback, if you will provide more details on your sexual activities and what you have been or not been doing, perhaps we can zero in and help you better.
Jack, you are a member of the human race and as such we all pretty much function or operate in the same ways regardless of where we are in the world.
When you read the articles the information in the articles listed in the Index, know that they were written primarily to answer common questions and concerns-------and! so that we do not have to write multitudes of duplicate replies.
Please read the article on experience. Experience equates to knowledge, not skill, so with each partner there will be differences to overcome that may or may not have been encountered with someone else.
As for working with a partner, know that each of us reacts differently to touch so you should not expect that what worked before will work next time. Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe sometimes. This is why show and tell, and, feedback are important.
Hello Jack, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.
> im 19 i can cum when i wank but not when im having sex i dont know why ? any ideas plz
Every person masturbates in much the same way for their gender; however, beginning shortly after learning how, each of us includes a bit of technique that is unique to the individual. So, while a girl may know the basics of stroking a penis, she will likely do it wrong for each guy she has sex with because of this individual uniqueness. The same goes for guys with girls. It is therefore necessary for each to demonstrate to the other how s/he masturbates and to guide them until they learn to mimic the other person's movements. Key to your success is to provide verbal or non-verbal feedback to your partner for how you are reacting to their kisses and caresses and for what you need now/next.
If by "sex" you mean being able to climax from a hand job and/or oral stimulation, please read the article listed in the Index that discusses the how of all this. If by "sex" you mean intercourse, then it is important to understand that the vagina presents a very different set of sensations than does a hand. The best way to learn how to react to this difference is to begin intercourse only after you have been brought to the very peak of your arousal yet can still maintain control sufficient to move around and get into position.
Spend a minimum of half an hour making out. Women require this time in order to raise their level of arousal, men benefit as an aside. All too often nowadays, guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to an orgasm is from lots of stroking (if stopping with Foreplay) or lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking if stopping with intercourse. WRONG. This is the purpose of making out and going around the proverbial bases!
If you would like to clarify what is or is not happening then perhaps we can supply more information. What I do recommend is that you read each of the articles in the Index, including the one mentioned. Knowledge is empowering!
I hope this is of help. Good luck.
-doc
i never have cum while having any type of contact with a girl its really hard to hear them say its them im goin to the docs soon keep u posted.
> i never have cum while having any type of contact with a girl
What type of "contact with a girl" have you had, Jack? Are you talking about Foreplay {a hand job and/or oral stimulation)? Are you talking about intercourse?
> its really hard to hear them say its them
It may well be them; however, having said that, communication and providing feedback are key to letting the other person know how we are responding and for what we need now/next. Mind readers we are not. Second, take your partner's hand in yours and move it as needed varying the grip, speed, and, placement all the while providing feedback, as explained, above.
Please keep in mind that making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Each person is responsible for his/her own orgasms, we do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them.
So, while it may be their fault, so to speak, really it is your fault for not showing your partner how you need her to manipulate you, when, how, etc., then providing feedback. Do not make a big deal out of this because in most situations it is not. Read the article on "Experience".
Speaking of feedback, if you will provide more details on your sexual activities and what you have been or not been doing, perhaps we can zero in and help you better.
by contact i mean ive done almost everything with a girl and it just never happens its startin to play on my mind abit.
Thank you for the additional info. As for what to try next, put all of the information given, above, to good use.
-doc
thanks man im so worried but now i know its not only me who has this problem.
Jack, you are a member of the human race and as such we all pretty much function or operate in the same ways regardless of where we are in the world.
When you read the articles the information in the articles listed in the Index, know that they were written primarily to answer common questions and concerns-------and! so that we do not have to write multitudes of duplicate replies.
Please read the article on experience. Experience equates to knowledge, not skill, so with each partner there will be differences to overcome that may or may not have been encountered with someone else.
As for working with a partner, know that each of us reacts differently to touch so you should not expect that what worked before will work next time. Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe sometimes. This is why show and tell, and, feedback are important.