read this http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/19803-women-only-help-why-cant-h...
repetition of masturbating and finding what you like must be done in order to connect the mind with the body. as evilevilkitten says a woman must connect her hardware with her software. if you have been taught that anything that has to with sex before marriage is wrong, then you have to get rid of that in your brain. im sure there are some other links as well here if you look for them.

once you have had an orgasm by your own hand then look at http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/married-long-term-relationships/23945-pr... and http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/married-long-term-relationships/22724-bo... for what to do with him involved.

Hi, please give us some additional details for clarification.

> I still haven't been able to cum(even with masterbating).

Are you able to climax regularly and consistently when you masturbate?

> I told him that it's not his fault that I can't cum cuz it's not.

And you know this, how? If you are correct and it is not his fault, then what is happening--or not, that is preventing you from climaxing?

We have discussed this topic a few times over the past week or so. What is important for both you and your boyfriend to know and understand is that relationships and especially the sexual aspects are partnerships. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other.

Next, each person, male and female, is responsible for his/her own orgasms, we do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. To do this, we must be able to mimic the way our partner masturbates. This involves some show and tell as well as taking his/her hand and moving them as needed in order to mimic these movements.

Key to this is communication and feedback (verbal and non-verbal) on how we are responding to our partner's kisses and caresses, and for what we need now/next.

Now, let's go back to Square One: If you masturbate yet have never experienced an orgasm, therefore cannot climax regularly and consistently, then you must learn, first and foremost. There is an article listed in the Index that discusses the matter and provides guidance.

There is another article that will give you instructions on how to help each other climax from a hand job and/or oral stimulation.

I recommend that the two of you read these articles, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. In fact, please read every article as noted. Knowledge is empowering!

I hope this is of help. Please feel free to ask any questions you may still not have answers for after you read the articles.

-doc

ahh much roomier haha. man they're gonna think they got an awesome response to that thread until they check it...

ha guys are a lot easier to make cum. you just have to be in the right mindset to cum, and to have a guy do it to you, you have to have a bit of a connection with you, and he's gotta be trying to get you to cum as well. not like actively but he can't just be trying to bang n go.

i know but its the comfort level too. its a lotta things actually

no i know i know. and you'll def know when it hapens...

yeh isn't it annoying? ha jus keep checkin on it :p

> ahh much roomier haha. man they're gonna think they got an awesome response to that thread until they check it...

What are you attempting to convey?

> ha guys are a lot easier to make cum. you just have to be in the right mindset to cum, and to have a guy do it to you, you have to have a bit of a connection with you, and he's gotta be trying to get you to cum as well. not like actively but he can't just be trying to bang n go.

* I agree that achieving orgasms for guys is easier.

* I agree that both genders have to have the proper mindset

* I agree with the "trying"; however, this is premature. It is a must that women learn to masturbate and to achieve regular and consistent orgasms.

It is a cruel twist of fate that Mother Nature plays boys and girls. She gives us all the sensitive nerve endings in the skin, a pleasure center in the brain, an autonomic nervous system to transport signals back and forth, yet never connects them. Guys learn to masturbate mater of factly, not so girls. Girls must make a conscious effort to masturbate and then to "connect the dots" so to speak. Until this happens, and as explained in my first reply, orgasms will not happen for her.

It took me years to get it right.Get him to guide your hand and show you how he does it.I used to think masturbating was disgusting and dirty,but now I do it all the time.I read the information on female masturbation on this forum,so check the index and read it if you haven't already.I also had a male friend on here coach me via email.He is very attuned to womens needs and taught me the best way to make the most of my alone time.The key is to learn to love your body and get to know every inch of it and identify the things that turn you on.You and your guy can make it into a very pleasurable experience.

then get a new guy she wolf! it is must easier for a woman to find a partner than it is for a man. if you approach the right men they will feel like they hit the jackpot when you start talking to them. and further more when you invite them for some experimentation.

OK hold on. Horny devil the guy doesn't MAKE a girl cum.

It is a lovers responsibility to HELP their partner achieve an orgasm. I have been told I am a great lover but its not because I MAKE girls cum. I HELP them cum. One girl I slept with complained because she laid there like a pillow and wondered why I hadn't made her cum. It was because she didn't do anything and its her job to get herself off. Its my "job" to help her get there. See what I'm saying?

Men are not ALWAYS easier to get off. I generally have problems cumming. I know several guys who last for hours while their girls cum every 10 minutes. Hell my first lover would cum in 4 minutes and was just like a guy because she would be unable to keep going after her orgasm.

Mindset is important but being in the right frame of mind won't make you cum. Hell I'm in the right frame of mind for sex all the time. But unless you know what tickles your fancy then you will most likely never get off. The first few times I masturbated I went for a good hour before id cum. Why? Because I didn't know what felt good. Fast? Slow? Gentle? Hard? Play with my balls? I was completely ignorant. Then it slowly got easier and I learned how to get myself off in a few minutes when I masturbate.

She wolf you have to masturbate. Read all the guides on the pleasing her and new to sex sub forums. It may not feel "good" but as you go more often it will eventually feel better. It also has to do with your arousal. When you masturbate, you are more then likely not too aroused. When your with a guy your turned on and therefore have a heightened sensitivity.

And last but not least STOP filling threads with random 1 line messages. Communicate via PM or personal email. Use an AIM account or some other instand messaging system. I'm glad you two have hit it off but take it somewhere other than a thread. All your doing is turned a simple 1 page thread into a big long meaningless conversation. Were glad to help you and answer your questions but enough is enough. This is the second thread that turned into a "chat room" between you and horney devil.

Get some self esteem then. Realize that a woman can ask literally any guy if they wanna have sex and 99 out of 100 times they will say yes

Omfg. You didn't understand what I said did you? I didn't say you HAD to go up to every guy and ask him I said to realize you COULD ask. Smh

Its like talking to a 5 year old.

Again you FAILED to comprehend what I was saying. I NEVER SAID TO GO ASK EVERY GUY IF THEIR DTF. I'm saying you could and you'd probably never get rejected simply because your a woman and let's face it MOST women completely control the sex game. Once you realize this, your shyness will go away.

And for someone who is so afraid of what people would think (I.e. being a "slut) your sig says otherwise

T_T =

irl =

DTF =

Omfg =

Smh =

For the many members of our world-wide community for whom English is not their primary language and who do not understand texting abbreviations, please supply the longhand meanings for each of the above cryptic quips.

In the future please limit the use of shorthand.

Thank you,

Moderator 3

T_T = Crying (looks like closed eyes with tear streaks)

irl = In Real Life

DTF = Down To ****

Omfg = Oh My ****ing god

Smh = Shake My Head

My apologies modIII. Stuck on facebook language at the moment.