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The purpose of this venue is to broaden the scope of knowledge people have about life, love, romance, and sex. Hopefully this is done is ways much easier to absorb than a dry sex manual or book on these other aspects. From your description of events it seems to me that the two of you need much more information. Knowledge is empowering.

I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles listed in the Index more than once then discuss what you have learned. Relationships are cooperative partnerships; so too are adventures in romance. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. We give in order to receive, not take in order to get.

Good etiquette recommends that a man help his partner to climax first, and last if she desires. In between the two of you can enjoy as many climaxes as desired and you have time for. Both genders can usually climax more than once during a session, so there is no reason to stop after the first orgasm, except as noted. The classic ramification of this is often seen with men who lose an erection for whatever reason and then one or the other partner ceases all operations if you catch my drift. Well, I'm here to tell you that erections can and do subside and are able to be reestablished with continued kissing and caresses. Men, depending upon age, drive, and the number of previous climaxes that day, can often have two-four additional orgasms in a session after a break between any two. Women can often enjoy many more orgasms with much less down time (refractory periods).

If one or the other of you do not have the energy for additional orgasms, there is nothing in the rule book that says one partner can not lovingly see to the others satisfaction by hand.

I think the two of you will be fine if you want to each learn how to make love with an inquisitive and open mind. I hope this is of help. Got questions?

After rereading your two threads, I discovered that I have overlooked a couple of points. Here goes:

[QUOTE=tinagiles;254449][COLOR="blue">My bf and I are having regular sex but if he orgasms he stops and I don't[/COLOR]

Men often lose interest in sex after climaxing. What separates the men from the boys, so to speak, is that more experienced lovers know this about a guy as well as the tendency to become sleepy and wanting to take a cat-nap. A knowledgeable lover works with these two conditions and pushes past them--onward and upward as the saying goes. If the two of you continue to make out then this generally places a couple beyond the first "barrier". Guys often want their partner to achieve more than one orgasm so will press on until she indicates she has reached her limit--whatever the amount.

[COLOR="blue">and if I orgasm I'm dead and can't keep doing it, so every time one of us isn't happy (and keep going with masturbation to finish sually) Suggestions please?[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

In order to "keep doing it" for both of you is to continue to fool around and make out during your respective recovery periods. (There is an article in the Index that discusses this in greater detail.)

Orgasms for women are not the biological imperative they are for men. A woman can be and often is very happy and satisfied without having reached an orgasm. On the other hand, you will have to work a bit harder to achieve them. It may be that you will be satisfied with one or two; if you desire more and are receptive to having them, then give your boyfriend some feedback on how you are responding to his additional caresses and for what you need now/next. (More on communication and feedback can also be found in articles listed in the Index.)

During the process if you find that your clitoris has become too sensitive to touch, work around it by having him fold the labia over it and massaging the tip thru them; or, massaging the labia and surrounding area in order to indirectly involve the clitoris; or, massaging the shaft of the clitoris.

As for your boyfriend, he may only be capable of having a single orgasm at a time; on the other hand, he may be able to have one or two more after going thru whatever time is required for each recovery period. If he happens to lose an erection--no problem. Keep on making out with a bit more attention given to reestablishing his erection. While he is in "recovery" mode, continue to make out without pushing. While you are in "recovery" mode, albeit a much shorter period of time, continue to make out without being demanding. Learn about communication, feedback, and implied consent, and then incorporate each of these techniques into your lovemaking.

A knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover will always see to his partner's satisfaction. Let him know when you have climaxed so he won't wonder. Let him know if you want more or are finished for this session. The same holds true in reverse for him with you.

If one or the other of you is is "dead" and can't keep "doing it", no problem. If the partner desires more, simply take matters into your own hands (and/or mouth) so to speak and continue with loving and caring concern and interest.

Here is an important bit of information for each ending: Once you have come to the end of a session, orgasms or not, do not simply stop abruptly and get up and get on with the day, or night. Always end your love making sessions as they began--with a few minutes kissing, cuddling, and, snuggling. This is considered the "cool down" period, and demonstrates to your partner that there is more to what just happened than achieving an orgasm; that the two of value each other and you care about each others emotional satisfaction and happiness.

> I'll forward all suggestions to boy

Lastly, again, I encourage both of you to read the articles and more than once, discussing each one and what you have learned.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

1. This very inconsiderate of whichever of you leaves the other high and dry. There is always something that can be done to help the other along.

The "ladies first" movement focuses on this issue and holds that men (see doc's above) experience a euphoria that often induces drowsiness. We women lack that excuse and can be ready to keep going. If he brings you off first, you should, at the very least, provide him with a very pleasant environment for his penis until he finishes.

Neither of you would get past the first date with me.

My orgasms have been strong enough to leave me too weak and exhausted to carry on for a while. However on the occasions that one of us is too worn out to continue, we are very happy to caress and cuddle the other while we masturbate ourself to orgasm.

[QUOTE=pinkFlames;254489]My orgasms have been strong enough to leave me too weak and exhausted to carry on for a while. However on the occasions that one of us is too worn out to continue, we are very happy to caress and cuddle the other while we masturbate ourselves to orgasm.[/QUOTE]

Try not to tense up so much prior to the orgasm. Focus on relaxing and controlling your breathing leading up to it. It is difficult to find a balance, but once you do it is likely that you won't be nearly so tired after an orgasm and can have more in quicker succession.

For him - if he'll just stand up and shake a leg, that drowsiness should quickly dissipate. You two are young, yes?

Oh my lord! One orgasm and you're done?!?! You're kidding me! Please, please, please stop thinking the female body works the same as the male - it doesn't. He has a refractory period, you do not.

If an orgasm leaves you, the woman, too tired/weak/whatever to continue, then you are not breathing and relaxing through the orgasm - you're working too hard to get an orgasm. Stop it. You're cheating yourself.

Breath calmly and deeply. Relax everything. Focus on enjoying the build up to, then orgasm itself, and then the denoument of the orgasm. Think of this as lying on a raft on the ocean gently riding over the swells as they roll under your raft.

Once you have taught your brain that multiple orgasms are 'yours', you will not have issues with tiredness/weakness/sensitivity. Pausing periodically to do so some body worshipping also will help.

Men can aslo become multi-orgasmic and, in fact, few men truly realise what they are really capable of. But unless you two try, you're both not going to know.

[QUOTE=funinthesun;254499]Try not to tense up so much prior to the orgasm. Focus on relaxing and controlling your breathing leading up to it. It is difficult to find a balance, but once you do it is likely that you won't be nearly so tired after an orgasm and can have more in quicker succession.

For him - if he'll just stand up and shake a leg, that drowsiness should quickly dissipate. You two are young, yes?[/QUOTE]

:p I'm a very youthful 45 and he's 47. Just for the record, I'm capable of multiple orgasms, nipple orgasms, ear orgasms, neck orgasms etc, etc,etc and have days where I can go on for ever. However I live for the earthshattering ones that nearly knock me out and wouldn't give them up for the satisfaction of any of the "experts" on this site.

If you are satisfied then, why did you bother to ask the "experts" in the first place?

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;254545]If you are satisfied then, why did you bother to ask the "experts" in the first place?[/QUOTE]

Again, I was originally answering the OP with empathy and an explanation of what works for me. Funinthesun directly responded to my post even with a quote so as to leave no doubt as to whom he was responding.

You, sweet Kitten, then followed on with more advice criticising people who may in fact be happy with one all consuming orgasm.

The point is - why post the original statement if she's happy as she is?

If she's happy with "whoever gets there first" - then why post since they cuddle etc to finish off the other one?

UNLESS there is more to it than she has thus far expressed. Perhaps there is a bit of dissatisfaction there. Perhaps there is something within that seeks change.

We won't know unless we ask/push/challenge - even if it is thought of as criticizing. Empathy is nice and all but it doesn't address all issues, esp if those issues are unstated.

This idea that multiples are smaller and less than one "all consuming" orgasm isn't necessarily correct. And if one "all consuming" orgasm is marvelous - then what would 6 "all consuming" orgasms be? Mind-blowing. So why not go for 6 "all consuming" if you can? There is no "speed limit" sign on the wall over the headboard.