Hi folks!
Love this board, all kinds of good info on here.
Quick question, for a male, when is one no longer a virgin?
I only ask because, while I've had penis in vagina intercourse on 3 occasions, I have never ejaculated.
The first time around, it didn't seem to quite fit the bill, so I still considered myself a virgin.
Several years later, when the last 2 episodes occurred, it seems that, well, I can't still be a virgin, but at the same time it doesn't seem that I am not a virgin either.
I suppose it doesn't really matter one way or the other, but I find myself somewhat in limbo on the matter.
I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter.
Thanks!
Never thought about that. Usually women are asking whether they are still virgins. If it matters, you have never "completed" the sex act. On the other hand your penis has been in a vagina. Relax, you are whatever you want to be.
Thanks Brandeye. I'm not too worried about it, it's more of an academic question than anything else.
I would appreciate hearing other points of view on the matter.
Here is a response (by dancindoc) to a post on a similar subject last weekend, male poster who was with a lady but did not complete the "act":
> ...i really really do regret losing my virginity....
This is a debatable issue and one that some members of the community may differ with me on; however, if you really did not get inside the vagina, stroke and thrust away along the full length of your penis, finally ejaculating, it is fair to say in my never to be so humble opinion that you are still technically a virgin. My logic about this is that you could have done more with your finger placed inside and doing this does not constitute loosing your virginity. Think of it as getting your foot in the door without actually stepping inside the building. Did you actually get inside? I leave the final analysis of your virginal state for you to decide.
I think we humans get far too hung up on definitions. We seem to have a mania for trying to classify everything, as if it is possible to put everything into neat little boxes.
It really doesn't matter. Whether or not you consider yourself to be a virgin is up to you to decide. The way I see it, you have gained some sexual experience, and that is what really counts.
i was in the same boat as your were, me and my girlfriend had intercourse for all of a minutes and stoped because she was nervous. we didnt really feel anything so we still considered ourselfs virgins
but now its a different story but it took us about 3 times to get comfortable
Interesting responses... Though fairly inconclusive.
The inconclusiveness is not surprising really, given that being a "virgin" is not a particularly meaningful statement. By this I mean that being a virgin means that one hasn't had sexual intercourse, and by sexual intercourse, well, does that mean to completion or not? Or is it oral? Does anal count? The answers to these questions seem to largely depend on the person answering. The term doesn't generally encompass that level of detail, and as many people here seem to suggest, it's more a state of one's own mind with regards to one's sexual experiences rather than an objectively determinable state of affairs (unlike say, being dead or alive, which is not a matter that is subjectively determined by the person who either alive or dead as a rule).
As the good Doc said, "I leave the final analysis of your virginal state for you to decide," which does not represent a conclusive definition in any meaningful fashion IMHO.
That said, the sexual experiences I had involving penis in vagina intercourse were, in order, not great, great and so-so. By far the best sexual experiences were with another girlfriend with whom no intercourse was undertaken, but man did we have a lot of fun! :)
Sure, I never actually ejaculated with her, but damn, I sure enjoyed her orgasms! Sadly, her inability to enjoy my orgasms became an issue, which in retrospect was unsurprising as it would seem to be selfish, wouldn't it? Women have perfectly reasonable expectations about the behaviour of their boyfriend's penis. That said, I wasn't holding back, I just couldn't ejaculate despite all the sucking, rubbing, and loving she could give (which was a whole lot! Ah, those were the days...) and still can't.
She really wanted the spurting geyser, the fountain of funk, the joyful juice (I could go on.... but really :) ....) and I could not deliver. The relationship ended (for this and other reasons) and life went on. Been more or less celibate since, (2 post girlfriend experiences), and reasonably happy with this state of affairs.
Anyways... I would still appreciate more comments on the topic of this thread if there are any.
Cheers!
The Wet One
Virgin is defined as one who has not engaged in copulation. I think that's about as conclusive as you can get.
Hmmm... The dictionary response. I see. Well, then, I guess that settles it. No longer any doubts about the matter. Definitely not a virgin, and especially since the first time.
Thanks! I appreciate that!
[quote=wet_suit_one;179128]Hmmm... The dictionary response. I see. Well, then, I guess that settles it. No longer any doubts about the matter. Definitely not a virgin, and especially since the first time.
Thanks! I appreciate that![/quote]
It's a pretty widely accepted definition across the medical community as well. If you have had your penis in the vagina or visa verse...it's assumed not to be virginal (pure), untouched, etc.
sera300... One other interesting thing about the definition is that so much seems to hang on it (heck, just look at this thread), when the fact of the matter is, it's totally irrelevant to anything quantitatively meaningful (unlike say, have had or not having had polio).
And yet, in some cultures, it's almost the sum total of meaning for a young woman, and yet, all it really means is that tab A has entered slot B at least once.
Good thing that passing gas is not so fraught with society's imagined importance, or we could find ourselves in a world of hurt.
Thanks again for the comments!
It only has value to those who fret over being a virgin. Much like those who have done it all; oral, fingering, and anal, meanwhile the same people concern themselves with being a virgin. It should never define who a person is and yet so many allow the status of being a virgin to demonstrate act of self restraint. The true meaning of being a virgin has become dilute and subjective in interpretation!