Well my boyfriend nd I have know each other for almost a year n I want to have sex with him now. We talk about I a lot but it always seen to come back to his whole thing about sex not being important in a relationship. So this brings me to a question: is sex as important in a relationship as other things are or am I just wanting something that he doesn't think I need. Oh n I love my boyfriend very much but I need him to understand that I want things from him but I think I'm just being selfish when I ask him to come over so we can do stuff together. And another thing if he is stuck on not having sex with me are there any alternatives?
Mon, 07/19/2010 - 00:40
#1
Wheat should I do?!?!
1. Sex is one of the important things in a relationship along with courage to be honest, sincere and trustworthy,
2. Do NOT change for him, nor expect him to change for you - instead - go find someone else or a few someones else. You have to accept who you are and then who he is and vice versa. "Take him/her as he/she comes."
Look, if his eyes don't light up and his arms to have you in them - get yourself someone(s) new because without that essential spark - there's no relationship. Live and love unstintingly or go back home.
You may want to review your spelling and grammar as well.
T#1:
People choose to form relationships with each other and join forces for the common good. Stated another way: Two individuals who can live alone yet opt not to decide after much dating and collaborating to join together out of choice in order to have a life greater than the sum of its two parts.
T#2:
When a relationship works well, sex is ten percent of the reason.
When a relationship falters, sex is ninety percent of the reason.
T#3:
Romancing each other and making love are the outward expressions of the love each has for the other.
> We talk about I a lot but it always seen to come back to his whole thing about sex not being important in a relationship.
When a guy or a gal discount romance and sex, the question of "why" should be asked--and answered. Not being important in a relationship is a dodge.
> is sex as important in a relationship as other things are or am I just wanting something that he doesn't think I need.
Important? In a word: absolutely, positively, indubitably, yes; and probably for the second question, although, only he can tell you if he will be honest and not dodge the questions.
> I love my boyfriend very much but I need him to understand that I want things from him
As you have every right to want and ask, regardless of what your need is.
> I think I'm just being selfish when I ask him to come over so we can do stuff together. And another thing if he is stuck on not having sex with me are there any alternatives?
One thing you can and should do is to (a) stop hounding him about the matter; (b) do not make any advances toward him in order to learn what we does or does not want in this relationship. If you go a month without any action from him, then you should move on and find someone who will desire to include making out with you into your relationship.
> And another thing if he is stuck on not having sex with me are there any alternatives?
Dating is not about starting and stopping with the first warm body who expresses an interest in us. Dating should be about going out with as many people as possible in order to learn more about each and to be better able to recognize when Mr./Ms. Right comes along. In addition, you want to learn about each other's likes, dislikes, goals, values, quirks, interests, morals, religious values, kids, etc., et cetera, etc. So, do not be afraid to move on and find other men to date. This is the name of the "game".
Why do you want to have sex with him?
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc
And another thing:
He doesn't want sex with you yet you still call him your boyfriend?!?!
What's up with that?
sorry to say but sex is very important with the majority of men
umm well we are trying other things besides sex. everything is good now thamx for the advice
As it should be: jeez! Come on, life without sex is dull, boring, barren, and a slow lingering death. Never to feel that richly glowing rising of the blood until it sings in your soul?
NO WAY!