hi, im havin abit of problem at the moment sexually! i cant seem to keep an erection, sometimes not even getting one to start with!! i have never experienced this before and havent a clue how to deal with it!! i recenently came out of quite a serious relationship which lasted for 4 years!
since then ive been seeing a girl who i really like and to be honest have fallen for! we've been together for just over two months, yet have only managed full sex once! not through lack of trying! on the one occasion we did i was amazing the best i have ever had! and after that i thought that would be the end of the problem, having regained my confidence! just recently ive found myself trying to avoid sex, even though i really want to! thishas now effected my relationship in other ways, with my girlfriend now backing off not seeming very happy! this has only been mentioned between us once, although i have spoken to friends about it, and i feel we should talk about it but im quiet embarassed. really want to hear some other views on this and maybe hear a few ideas that may help!
Wed, 02/01/2006 - 09:49
#1
whats goin on with me!!
Don't feel the guilt of moving on with this new life. Just devote yourself to her and things will get better
could take some supplements, if you masturbate just stop for awhile, think sexy thoughts, or maybe you are just subsituting this new girl for your ex and don't really feel for her how you think you feel and this could be effecting you. so many possibilities.
Lakimada introduces some questions. How are your masturbation sessions? Do you achieve erections when goin' it alone? Yes or no, can you still achieve orgasms?
I rather doubt suppliments and abstance are going to be of help in this situation. First of all, I would recommend getting checked out by a physician in order to rule out any physical or body chemistry problems.
If this should happen to be a case of Performance Anxiety then it is a whopper. To test the theory, just go at this romance business with a very layed back low key "cum se cum saw" devil may care attitude for a few times. PE worsens the more a guy thinks about the problem, so I am advising to stop thinking about the problem and to just have fun and to see what adventures of whatever kind happen along the journey to bliss. In short: make out without necessarily havuing a goal of intercourse as a finale. If it happens it happens, if not, well you made out and made love anyway.
What I want you to test is whether or not you can just make out and spend half an hour minimum to just kissing and caressing and then ever so gently, late in this process involving your genitals. Your goal should be to pleasure her and in turn be turned on by the process. Your goal should be to raise your ardor and to enjoy just the make out sessions. If she can help you climax even without erections, that's fine too. Enlist her help in this process. When she caresses you and when she works on your penis, it should never be in a demanding way. So, reararrange your priorities and goals and see what happens. If you remove the angst you may find your erections happening again. If she can (eventually) make them happen, fine. If you begin getting spontaneous ones again, fine too. Don't be critical of how you get them. If nothing improves, go see a doctor and perhaps a therapist who specializes in sexual disorders.
Good luck. Got questions?
Thanks for the replies! but im afraid it a little too late! as she spilt up with me last nite! im absolutely gutted but will be fine! gives me a chance to try out another theory being that maybe i just didnt find her sexually attractive! i do masterbate through to orgasm! and also get spontaneous erections. and for the past couple of months have devoted myself to her but that obviosly wasnt enough!!! thanks again everyone!
damn sorry to here that did she tell you why?>
she said ( via text message i mite add) "i dont think its workin out between us, think we've rushed into things and thats taken something away from it!" she also said " dont think im ready for a serious relationship!"
if im honest it has happened really fast butshe seemed to like it and be happy with where things were goin! its just mad how she has made a complete u-turn in what must be like 2days!!! really dont know what to do, because i really do love her and it was only 2 days ago she was sayin how she feels that way bout me too!! im real gutted!! i really feel like **** about it all!!