Hey Ducy, simple rule on multi-fork place settings: Start at the outside and work toward the plate.
Conceit and drunken stupidity. Be confident, have a sense of humor, and sure go ahead have one or two. But remember the difference between confident and egotistical, and don't drink until you can't keep your wits about you. Stuff that's supposedly so stupid it's funny, never makes it past the stupid with me.
A. Bad breath
B. Smoke filled hair
C. Smelly smokey clothes
D. Nicotine tainted oily skin
E. Baggy pants with crotch down to the knees
+ Butt crack showing while walking and/or sitting
+ Bad hair day
... for starters
Yellow or bad teeth. A great smile is number one in my book. No one really thinks about it until they see someone with a bad smile. I went through a lot of pain and money to achieve the smile I have now so I expect a woman to feel the same about a great smile.
Hmmm this is a tough one since I can find the strangest things attractive. Like a pair of target sweat pants, baggy tshirt and hair up makes me as hard as a virgin on prom night.
I can tell you a few things that have usually led me to breaking it off. (Sound shallow but its as if I just start noticing their flaws after)
1.) Body odor
2.) Unbrushed teeth
3.) A full head of hair in their pants.
The first 2 have happened several times. Heavy make out. Take off their shit and suddenly someone decided to chop some onions. Or I look over at them and notice a bunch of plaque build up and I just don't wanna kiss them.
The third is a turn off but not necessarily a deal breaker. I prefer bald but if they shave a design above it that's cool. As long as I can do oral without feeling like I'm licking a brillo pad we are good.
Yes the top 2 are "shallow" but I just can't seem to move past it.
Smoking; I'll literary lose my breath! The other would be bad smells... :(
On the other hand; a good smell can be a real turn on: my bf uses a certain deo that with the first snif makes me wet instantly :o It's probably cause I've come to associate it with him and sex. But by "good" I don't necessarily mean perfume. I'm actually quite fond of how he smells in the morning; just because it really smells like "him" :)
People seem to forget that the natural way a person smells is really unique. It is like "knowing" a person. I smell it on him when he's going to be ill. And I always knew before my babysister told me she was seeing someone, cause I smelled it on her instantly :rolleyes:
> dlb: Chewing gum with mouth open, chewing gum in public,
> Ducy: I have never heard of that one.
YUP, at least once a year I pull a (dance) student aside, usually male, and ask the person to remove or swallow their gum. Chewing, mouth open, while dancing with a person inches in front of your face is simply uncouth and poor etiquette.
P.S. Tatoos--most specifically down one or both arms; chest--especially if it/they can be seen above the neckline of a shirt/blouse. "Mom" or something short and sweet is OK.
I can understand the open mouth but I never thought of chewing gum in public (closed mouth) to be a turn off. Its interesting that one would find it off putting.
Dlb don't think I'm trying to call you out or anything I'm just curious cuz I like to constantly expand my mind and try to view the world in a different way.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266466]Chewing gum with either mouth open or closed is like a cow chewing its cud - need we say more?[/QUOTE]
Ducy,
EvilEvilKitten invoked the words of my fourth grade teacher. Perhaps it is a generational thing, but to me chomping away on gum in public or during a conversation with a person is simply uncouthe and extremely unsexy.
Ok. That's interesting lol. I never really thought if it like a cow chewing cud haha. I do find it cute when a girl eats. Something about them trying to stay tidy (which inevitably leads to some sort of mess) is cute. Idk why. But I definitely get what you mean. The constant chewing....great now I'm going to think about that everytime I see a girl chewing gum!
The thread seems to have segued from the personal annoyances to annoyances with regard to manners and etiquette. Here is my next pet peeve:
HATs and CAPs, warn inside a building.
I was taught as a teen that men removed their hat upon entering a building. This was later strongly reinforced by the armed services. A soldier, airman, sailor, guardsman, etc., must always remove his "cover" when entering a building, often with a reprimand for someone who forgot.
To this day, I look with disdain at men who opt to wear a hat or cap inside someone's home, restaurant or other business, or commercial office building. Manners simply seem to have been pushed aside in this hustle and bustle world, with few caring or giving a darn nowadays. Is this it or is it simply that "times they are a changin'?""
Lol EEK I sometimes have trouble figure out what fork to use. But then again I rarely go to a fancy restaurant. I do however stand when a woman leaves or returns to the table....I don't think I have seen that in years.
And doc I find hats in doors disrespectful. I make suure to remove headwear when entering a building.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266486]Hey Ducy - not knowing which fork to use is also a sure-fire relationship killer.
LOL
Just think EEK as a stickler for proper etiquette.[/QUOTE]
It doesn't kill the sexual attraction, but it does indicate a need for training in the case of a prolonged relationship.
dancingdoc2 I cannot make a strong logical argument for men removing headgear inside a building (hard hats on construction site excepted), but that is the way I was reared and I don't dare go against it. OK, one other exception: when I am called upon to use headgear as part of my costume, uniform or peerformance wear.
Ducy, there is nothing wrog with learning proper manners, learning your forks (glasses, etc.) As my dear mother and many etiquette experts have said, manners can get you places money doesn't. The truth is that money can get you anywhere, but once you are with moneyed people their manners or lack thereof will tell you quite a bit about them; and that can be very useful.
The one that REALLY stands out is the guy who constantly asked questions and constantly complained - the knife's dirty bring me another, the beer wasn't as advertised bring me this other one - and paid absolutely no attention to me whatsoever until all of HIS needs were coddled. His behaving like someone's timid persnickity maiden aunt from the Victorian Period was a HUGE turn-off.
And the man hadn't even washed his hair and yet was acting like this?!?!
I guess the thing that really gets me uncomfortable is when there is no sense of humor. If there is a fun evening and there are no jokes at all and funny things happening around are desperately ignored and silenced... that totally gives me the creeps! Off course I can have dead serious conversations in which humor may not be suitable. And I also know a sense of humor is personal. But everyone should at least have a laugh once in a while :)
nervous forgive me for being blunt, but what the hell were you thinking? you said you haven't had a gf and not even a first kiss. yet you passed up a willing girl who first made you smile, then slapped you on your booty (which only means she wants you). then she says in so many words that she is going to let you hit a home run, with some kinkiness. come on! i am not down playing that maybe she was grungy(i can only go by your word), but i think your biggest hang up was that she had a bf. which is none of your business unless it is one of your friends.
On the outside: bad breath/bad b.o. I once had this Asian guy hit on me in a library (of all places). He was cute, BUT he stank of sweat, fish and garlic. I almost threw up.
On the inside: unkindness. I don't like guys who are mean, even a little, especially towards animals or children. I run from those guys as fast as I can, I don't care how cute they are.
Laziness! My mom and brothers always taught me I do not "need" a man to take care of me, I can do it myself. I work hard, I can change a tire, change breaks, change oil, check all the fluids, mow my yard. I can't stand a guy who expects me to do everything. My ex use to sit on the couch playing video games ALL day and night and did nothing needless to say he is an ex. Don't get me wrong, I love when a guy takes care of me every once in awhile. The others would have to be bad hygiene and being hairy.
followed closely by poor hygeine, as long as she takes at least 5 showers a week, I'm good with it, a little natural body amora isn't a problem for me, but if you've worked up a sweat, take a shower
Am I one of the few people that doesn't find smoking a turn-off? It doesn't turn me on or anything, but as long as they don't smell like they were in a tobacco plant fire I don't really care.
I have to ditto on the bad breath. I once went on a date with a guy who breathed out garlic during the movie. I never went out with him ever again. Next would be dirty hands and fingernails. Yuck!
I think a girl who dresses and acts like a -- is it ok to say "whore" in the forums? -- is my biggest turn-off. Actually, in my first forum post I neglected to mention this -- but when I was in high school I sat at the lunch table with this blonde who had managed to get me to smile properly for school photos by cracking a joke. One day she offered to take me to her place after school and "even bring the handcuffs."
Considering that she apparently already had a boyfriend and also that, really, she looked like she didn't care much about herself and smoked a lot, I declined. I don't know WHAT she smoked but it couldn't have been any ordinary cigarettes... not with how those smelled. Plus another slight turn-off was how she swatted me on the rump once just before I sat down at the table (she was headed for the line to buy cafeteria food). Only reason why that was a turn-off was because I knew she was spoken for already.
"spoken for" - you're mistaken, nervous - she's only as 'spoken for' as she wishes to be and in this case, she obviously didn't think she was "spoken for". Isn't it about time you guys stopped this possession thing - "she's my girl"??
Well, I was using "spoken for" in an attempt at being politically correct, EEK. :) And Big, she wasn't my type. My type is a girl who wants sex with me and actually cares about me. She obviously didn't. All she wanted was sex. I have higher standards than that.
Though I'd be lying if I said part of me wasn't kicking myself in the nuts afterward for passing it up.
I'll grant EEK some credit here. It really is the woman's decision, and I'm trying not to be possessive. But I'm also not the kind of guy who likes to share, either (hence why I'll never do threesomes -- I'm a one-woman man). I was operating under the assumption that her real boyfriend would find out somehow and hunt me down and do terrible things to me in retaliation. So, yeah. She was a cool friend, and didn't hesitate in sharing "bedtime stories" with us at the lunch table in detail, but I just couldn't let myself have sex with her. I'm waiting for it to actually mean something first.
i actually don't mind smoking either. I do find bad breath a huge turn off. and i hate it when i girl doesn't bother to develop a personality or a brain. Sorry hun, but I like to talk too
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;270377]Sex always has meaning whether it is 'you make my blood sing', 'I like you, do you like me' or "babies, lots of babies!"[/QUOTE]
I love this quote :)
Its got to be definatly body odour, and if they have greasy hair thats a turn off. my ex girl friend we use to watch a movie and her hair would smell so nice it was lovely :)
Excuse me, Nervous, but you're a virgin "never been kissed" guy so in fact you have no idea what your type is nor do you know what you like. All you have is guesswork and suppositions based upon incomplete data and, mostly from what we've seen, irrational fears/hopes.
Sex always has meaning whether it is 'you make my blood sing', 'I like you, do you like me' or "babies, lots of babies!" Your expectation for some perfect union is doomed to failure.
You feared being hunted down because you think his position 'as the man in possession of her butt' has inherent rights - he DOESN'T. He only has those 'rights' she is willing to give him and from what she's, according to you, been doing - she hasn't granted him any rights over her. So your fears are unfounded. Besides which her boyfriend is her business, not yours.
She sounds like a warm, generous, fun-loving young woman who loves life and doesn't hide her joy.
The only thing you both needed to care about is getting each other off. She could have cared enough about you to teach you about sex, but instead you said no. And with you saying you were kicking yourself for rejecting her proves that EEK and myself are right. My goodness you could have at least gone to second base with her! Get some kind of experience.
This was years ago when I was in tenth grade. I was fifteen, hardly old enough to start getting experience. I might start getting experience now if I can manage to get a job in this economy (and a car), but that doesn't seem very likely where I live (which is with my mom and grandparents). That's an issue for another forum though. Let's steer this thread back on-topic. :)
That's your choice and opinion but many have sex for the first time at 15-16 years old. I knew many guys that would get at least a blow job if not sex in middle school. That is my final piece here about this.
I will start this thread back up by saying I hate when a girl is arrogant. "Yes girl you look good, but you are not all that." and people that have nothing intelligent to say.
Hey Ducy, simple rule on multi-fork place settings: Start at the outside and work toward the plate.
Conceit and drunken stupidity. Be confident, have a sense of humor, and sure go ahead have one or two. But remember the difference between confident and egotistical, and don't drink until you can't keep your wits about you. Stuff that's supposedly so stupid it's funny, never makes it past the stupid with me.
A. Bad breath
B. Smoke filled hair
C. Smelly smokey clothes
D. Nicotine tainted oily skin
E. Baggy pants with crotch down to the knees
+ Butt crack showing while walking and/or sitting
+ Bad hair day
... for starters
Yellow or bad teeth. A great smile is number one in my book. No one really thinks about it until they see someone with a bad smile. I went through a lot of pain and money to achieve the smile I have now so I expect a woman to feel the same about a great smile.
Hmmm this is a tough one since I can find the strangest things attractive. Like a pair of target sweat pants, baggy tshirt and hair up makes me as hard as a virgin on prom night.
I can tell you a few things that have usually led me to breaking it off. (Sound shallow but its as if I just start noticing their flaws after)
1.) Body odor
2.) Unbrushed teeth
3.) A full head of hair in their pants.
The first 2 have happened several times. Heavy make out. Take off their shit and suddenly someone decided to chop some onions. Or I look over at them and notice a bunch of plaque build up and I just don't wanna kiss them.
The third is a turn off but not necessarily a deal breaker. I prefer bald but if they shave a design above it that's cool. As long as I can do oral without feeling like I'm licking a brillo pad we are good.
Yes the top 2 are "shallow" but I just can't seem to move past it.
Smoking; I'll literary lose my breath! The other would be bad smells... :(
On the other hand; a good smell can be a real turn on: my bf uses a certain deo that with the first snif makes me wet instantly :o It's probably cause I've come to associate it with him and sex. But by "good" I don't necessarily mean perfume. I'm actually quite fond of how he smells in the morning; just because it really smells like "him" :)
People seem to forget that the natural way a person smells is really unique. It is like "knowing" a person. I smell it on him when he's going to be ill. And I always knew before my babysister told me she was seeing someone, cause I smelled it on her instantly :rolleyes:
Chewing gum with mouth open, chewing gum in public, shaved vulva, lots of make up.
Those are the biggest turn offs I can think of.
Chewing gum in public? I have never heard of that one.
People who are ugly on the inside.
> dlb: Chewing gum with mouth open, chewing gum in public,
> Ducy: I have never heard of that one.
YUP, at least once a year I pull a (dance) student aside, usually male, and ask the person to remove or swallow their gum. Chewing, mouth open, while dancing with a person inches in front of your face is simply uncouth and poor etiquette.
P.S. Tatoos--most specifically down one or both arms; chest--especially if it/they can be seen above the neckline of a shirt/blouse. "Mom" or something short and sweet is OK.
I can understand the open mouth but I never thought of chewing gum in public (closed mouth) to be a turn off. Its interesting that one would find it off putting.
Dlb don't think I'm trying to call you out or anything I'm just curious cuz I like to constantly expand my mind and try to view the world in a different way.
Chewing gum with either mouth open or closed is like a cow chewing its cud - need we say more?
Not my favorite either but - I'm still sticking with "ugly on the inside" as what ruins it for me.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266466]Chewing gum with either mouth open or closed is like a cow chewing its cud - need we say more?[/QUOTE]
Ducy,
EvilEvilKitten invoked the words of my fourth grade teacher. Perhaps it is a generational thing, but to me chomping away on gum in public or during a conversation with a person is simply uncouthe and extremely unsexy.
Ok. That's interesting lol. I never really thought if it like a cow chewing cud haha. I do find it cute when a girl eats. Something about them trying to stay tidy (which inevitably leads to some sort of mess) is cute. Idk why. But I definitely get what you mean. The constant chewing....great now I'm going to think about that everytime I see a girl chewing gum!
Hey Ducy - not knowing which fork to use is also a sure-fire relationship killer.
LOL
Just think EEK as a stickler for proper etiquette.
Obesity.
Bad smells.
Liars.
The thread seems to have segued from the personal annoyances to annoyances with regard to manners and etiquette. Here is my next pet peeve:
HATs and CAPs, warn inside a building.
I was taught as a teen that men removed their hat upon entering a building. This was later strongly reinforced by the armed services. A soldier, airman, sailor, guardsman, etc., must always remove his "cover" when entering a building, often with a reprimand for someone who forgot.
To this day, I look with disdain at men who opt to wear a hat or cap inside someone's home, restaurant or other business, or commercial office building. Manners simply seem to have been pushed aside in this hustle and bustle world, with few caring or giving a darn nowadays. Is this it or is it simply that "times they are a changin'?""
Lol EEK I sometimes have trouble figure out what fork to use. But then again I rarely go to a fancy restaurant. I do however stand when a woman leaves or returns to the table....I don't think I have seen that in years.
And doc I find hats in doors disrespectful. I make suure to remove headwear when entering a building.
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266486]Hey Ducy - not knowing which fork to use is also a sure-fire relationship killer.
LOL
Just think EEK as a stickler for proper etiquette.[/QUOTE]
It doesn't kill the sexual attraction, but it does indicate a need for training in the case of a prolonged relationship.
dancingdoc2 I cannot make a strong logical argument for men removing headgear inside a building (hard hats on construction site excepted), but that is the way I was reared and I don't dare go against it. OK, one other exception: when I am called upon to use headgear as part of my costume, uniform or peerformance wear.
Ducy, there is nothing wrog with learning proper manners, learning your forks (glasses, etc.) As my dear mother and many etiquette experts have said, manners can get you places money doesn't. The truth is that money can get you anywhere, but once you are with moneyed people their manners or lack thereof will tell you quite a bit about them; and that can be very useful.
Having sat across the table from many a man in my life, I can tell you that how they eat can certainly kill the mood.
...and it doesn't all have to do with which utensil they choose to use!
The one that REALLY stands out is the guy who constantly asked questions and constantly complained - the knife's dirty bring me another, the beer wasn't as advertised bring me this other one - and paid absolutely no attention to me whatsoever until all of HIS needs were coddled. His behaving like someone's timid persnickity maiden aunt from the Victorian Period was a HUGE turn-off.
And the man hadn't even washed his hair and yet was acting like this?!?!
Scotty, beam me up!
I guess the thing that really gets me uncomfortable is when there is no sense of humor. If there is a fun evening and there are no jokes at all and funny things happening around are desperately ignored and silenced... that totally gives me the creeps! Off course I can have dead serious conversations in which humor may not be suitable. And I also know a sense of humor is personal. But everyone should at least have a laugh once in a while :)
nervous forgive me for being blunt, but what the hell were you thinking? you said you haven't had a gf and not even a first kiss. yet you passed up a willing girl who first made you smile, then slapped you on your booty (which only means she wants you). then she says in so many words that she is going to let you hit a home run, with some kinkiness. come on! i am not down playing that maybe she was grungy(i can only go by your word), but i think your biggest hang up was that she had a bf. which is none of your business unless it is one of your friends.
On the outside: bad breath/bad b.o. I once had this Asian guy hit on me in a library (of all places). He was cute, BUT he stank of sweat, fish and garlic. I almost threw up.
On the inside: unkindness. I don't like guys who are mean, even a little, especially towards animals or children. I run from those guys as fast as I can, I don't care how cute they are.
Laziness! My mom and brothers always taught me I do not "need" a man to take care of me, I can do it myself. I work hard, I can change a tire, change breaks, change oil, check all the fluids, mow my yard. I can't stand a guy who expects me to do everything. My ex use to sit on the couch playing video games ALL day and night and did nothing needless to say he is an ex. Don't get me wrong, I love when a guy takes care of me every once in awhile. The others would have to be bad hygiene and being hairy.
I agree with stink and sweat as the greatest turnoff. Another one is no imagination or will to experiment.
ditto to smoking !!
that's my #1 deal breaker
followed closely by poor hygeine, as long as she takes at least 5 showers a week, I'm good with it, a little natural body amora isn't a problem for me, but if you've worked up a sweat, take a shower
I agree with you, and also forgot to add smoking - I just cant stand it, and so many people I know smoke :(
LOL - so many people here wouldn't like me at all then!
Pcp you realize there are 7 days in a week right?
And EEK...just reading the last post it sounds like you are a conceited, drunken, smoking, sweaty, showerless woman....
But surely that's not what you meant hahahaha
Quite right - I take baths not showers.
Smoking, working out, having men pander to my ego and sipping wine simply cannot be done in a shower.
LOL but yeah. Smoking and a conceited attitude are the biggest turn offs for me as well.
Am I one of the few people that doesn't find smoking a turn-off? It doesn't turn me on or anything, but as long as they don't smell like they were in a tobacco plant fire I don't really care.
Biggest turn off: I have too many to sum up.
I have to ditto on the bad breath. I once went on a date with a guy who breathed out garlic during the movie. I never went out with him ever again. Next would be dirty hands and fingernails. Yuck!
I think a girl who dresses and acts like a -- is it ok to say "whore" in the forums? -- is my biggest turn-off. Actually, in my first forum post I neglected to mention this -- but when I was in high school I sat at the lunch table with this blonde who had managed to get me to smile properly for school photos by cracking a joke. One day she offered to take me to her place after school and "even bring the handcuffs."
Considering that she apparently already had a boyfriend and also that, really, she looked like she didn't care much about herself and smoked a lot, I declined. I don't know WHAT she smoked but it couldn't have been any ordinary cigarettes... not with how those smelled. Plus another slight turn-off was how she swatted me on the rump once just before I sat down at the table (she was headed for the line to buy cafeteria food). Only reason why that was a turn-off was because I knew she was spoken for already.
"spoken for" - you're mistaken, nervous - she's only as 'spoken for' as she wishes to be and in this case, she obviously didn't think she was "spoken for". Isn't it about time you guys stopped this possession thing - "she's my girl"??
Well, I was using "spoken for" in an attempt at being politically correct, EEK. :) And Big, she wasn't my type. My type is a girl who wants sex with me and actually cares about me. She obviously didn't. All she wanted was sex. I have higher standards than that.
Though I'd be lying if I said part of me wasn't kicking myself in the nuts afterward for passing it up.
I'll grant EEK some credit here. It really is the woman's decision, and I'm trying not to be possessive. But I'm also not the kind of guy who likes to share, either (hence why I'll never do threesomes -- I'm a one-woman man). I was operating under the assumption that her real boyfriend would find out somehow and hunt me down and do terrible things to me in retaliation. So, yeah. She was a cool friend, and didn't hesitate in sharing "bedtime stories" with us at the lunch table in detail, but I just couldn't let myself have sex with her. I'm waiting for it to actually mean something first.
i actually don't mind smoking either. I do find bad breath a huge turn off. and i hate it when i girl doesn't bother to develop a personality or a brain. Sorry hun, but I like to talk too
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;270377]Sex always has meaning whether it is 'you make my blood sing', 'I like you, do you like me' or "babies, lots of babies!"[/QUOTE]
I love this quote :)
Wow great, I am happy to find it, Thanks for sharing it here.
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Its got to be definatly body odour, and if they have greasy hair thats a turn off. my ex girl friend we use to watch a movie and her hair would smell so nice it was lovely :)
Excuse me, Nervous, but you're a virgin "never been kissed" guy so in fact you have no idea what your type is nor do you know what you like. All you have is guesswork and suppositions based upon incomplete data and, mostly from what we've seen, irrational fears/hopes.
Sex always has meaning whether it is 'you make my blood sing', 'I like you, do you like me' or "babies, lots of babies!" Your expectation for some perfect union is doomed to failure.
You feared being hunted down because you think his position 'as the man in possession of her butt' has inherent rights - he DOESN'T. He only has those 'rights' she is willing to give him and from what she's, according to you, been doing - she hasn't granted him any rights over her. So your fears are unfounded. Besides which her boyfriend is her business, not yours.
She sounds like a warm, generous, fun-loving young woman who loves life and doesn't hide her joy.
It's also a turn-off when girls play hard-to-get. For some at least.
So neither be "easy to get" nor "hard to get"
Goldilocks!! Some guy's stolen your lines!!
Pouting & whining - I am annoyed by men who pout and/or whine.
The only thing you both needed to care about is getting each other off. She could have cared enough about you to teach you about sex, but instead you said no. And with you saying you were kicking yourself for rejecting her proves that EEK and myself are right. My goodness you could have at least gone to second base with her! Get some kind of experience.
This was years ago when I was in tenth grade. I was fifteen, hardly old enough to start getting experience. I might start getting experience now if I can manage to get a job in this economy (and a car), but that doesn't seem very likely where I live (which is with my mom and grandparents). That's an issue for another forum though. Let's steer this thread back on-topic. :)
That's your choice and opinion but many have sex for the first time at 15-16 years old. I knew many guys that would get at least a blow job if not sex in middle school. That is my final piece here about this.
I will start this thread back up by saying I hate when a girl is arrogant. "Yes girl you look good, but you are not all that." and people that have nothing intelligent to say.
Mean people.