Hi, I'm somewhat new to these boards. I've read a lot of the information on here, and it's all very useful. But one thing I was surprised that more people weren't asking is what questions I should ask to find out if I'm ready. I guess I'm a really big worrier. ^^;
I know all about how it may hurt, and how I should use protection... I have an amazingly kind boyfriend who I really love being intimate with (we have already done other things, such as oral), but I don't know what could happen if I decide to do it.
How do I decide if I'm ready? What questions should I ask? Will it change me or my psyche? Any and all opinons appreciated. Thanks ^^;
Brandye's question is excellent, as long as you have some ability to understand the reality of the possibility. I think too often people believe they've eliminated the pregnancy issue as a possbility and fail to understand this is simply not about birth control... it's about engaging in a very adult behavior that has huge ramifications.
I'd say you've already discovered the most important question, "How will this affect me?? It sounds like you have some points of reference... you say you've already "done oral" and been intimate. How did doing those things affect you? (Not asking you to answer here! LOL)
You only get to do a first time once, so it pays to err on the side of caution.
Another idea might be to take Brandye's idea to the opposite end... picture yourself in a fair distant future... your teenage daughter asks you to tell her about your first time... what is your answer?
Ultimately, you have control of how your decision affects you, so in that regard it's hard to make the "wrong" decision, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't agonize over it. Take your time, use your head, consider the affect your decision will have on every one... you, your bf... right thru to that hypothetical future daughter. Be thorough, but don't be stressed.
"Read Brandye's Chick Chat. Some ideas.
The biggest question to ask yourself is, Äm I ready to look my mum in the eye and say, "Mum, I am pregnant.'"
What this gets at is the question of psychological maturity. Sweating out your period every month, and all women do, is no fun. In most 16 year olds, this stress affects all aspects of their lives.For a 26 yo, this is simply part of being a woman. Somewhere in between one develops the capability of truly assuming responsibility for actions - including sex.