ok well i will start from the start. i am 20 and my body is on the fritz.
[COLOR="DarkRed"]over the past 4 months or so ive been noticing that any girl i get near or anything i have been interested in the initial part to get further, foreplay, sex, etc etc. however when the time actually came and was making out for a while i had lost interest in all of it and well could not care less. pretty much had lost all of my drive.
I have not really masturbated of had the urge to masturbate either. and when i do eventually masturbate as soon as im finished well i lose even more interest in sexual activities over the next few weeks.
I am straight before you ask... i noticed a while ago when i was playing with my gfs breasts that i was getting hard as a rock and well after a few minutes it was like i was too tired/not interested and well would want to stop and just cuddle when naturally. it set her off.
My sexual activity used to be quite high and normal.
what could be causing these changing in patterns and more to the point what can i do about fixing this as its really annoying and abnormal.
also when i do get a hard on it generally doesn't stay around long.. it can last maybe a minute to a couple of minutes then go away n have to work to get it back regardless of what i was doing didn't change. i used to be able to keep rock hard all of the time through it all and now it just seems like my mojo has died all of a sudden.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Navy"]another note...
when it comes to intercoarse i get hard as a rock before hand. take the 2 seconds in idle to whip on a condom and then everything goes down hill upon trying to enter.. it literally goes soft and acts like its just been hit by a mallet.. or well generally like it feels when you are just sitting around doing normal things.
i have read about it and it probably is a bit of performance anxiety and the key is to 'relax' however.. i am generally always relaxed the problem is it just doesn't work. i want to get in. but he doesn't..
again this has only come on in the past few months with the other problem as before that it was pretty much all in perfect working order and i haven't had any problems in the past. its only in the past few months its been happening.[/COLOR]
any help is much appreciated guys. was just trying to see if any1 has had this or heard or seen it before
as you can probably guess its fair annoying
Taking ANY medication? Any stressors in your life?
Any possibility you're not over your last gf yet? Or just not as ready to be sexual with this gf as you think you are?
[QUOTE=sera300;224646]Taking ANY medication? Any stressors in your life?[/QUOTE]
not taking any medication, and the only stressors in my life was work, however im no longer working there and the last time we were fooling around it was still happening
[QUOTE=lnt1103;224650]Any possibility you're not over your last gf yet? Or just not as ready to be sexual with this gf as you think you are?[/QUOTE]
i am quite over her. to be honest... i love my current gf, like love her. every way etc etc.. and i have had previous fornications with other people since my ex and this new one before the problems started.. but once they started the one just before my current gf was the same and now with my gf... its been as i said about 6 months.
If your sex drive was normal and now it is low and has been for a while as you stated, my first recommendation is to go to your doctor and get a referral so you can have your hormone levels checked.
Perhaps compounding the matter is if you are not particularly interested in these girls then that will turn a guy off a lot of times.
As for losing an erection, it could very well be Performance Anxiety, especially since you know you probably will lose your erection and then one thing brings about reality. One way to try and keep firm after the condom is to tweak your erection before attempting penetration. Another alternative is to take this a step farther and bring yourself to the brink of your climax. Do not use stroking and thrusting to build an erection and peak your ardor, this is the purpose of all the fooling around beforehand. Stroking and thrusting maintain your level of arousal and then take you beyond the point of no control.
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;224654]If your sex drive was normal and now it is low and has been for a while as you stated, my first recommendation is to go to your doctor and get a referral so you can have your hormone levels checked.
Perhaps compounding the matter is if you are not particularly interested in these girls then that will turn a guy off a lot of times.
As for losing an erection, it could very well be Performance Anxiety, especially since you know you probably will lose your erection and then one thing brings about reality. One way to try and keep firm after the condom is to tweak your erection before attempting penetration. Another alternative is to take this a step farther and bring yourself to the brink of your climax. Do not use stroking and thrusting to build an erection and peak your ardor, this is the purpose of all the fooling around beforehand. Stroking and thrusting maintain your level of arousal and then take you beyond the point of no control.[/QUOTE]
thanks doc..
well the girl i am with now i am very interested in. and i am attracted to her etc etc. the problem is i start and then its like i couldn't be bothered, dont have the energy for it and just lose interest in anything else. i rarely even think about sex lately so it is a bit of a concern for me and well has to of been something thats happened in past 6 months.
i will indeed go get my hormone levels checked, thankyou for referring me to that. i had not of thought of it otherwise.
i guess i will just keep trying, get the levels checked and get back to you and see what happens
Going to your doctor and getting your hormones checked as well as the rest of the full physical workup is your first step.
After that, with a clean bill of health you also need to try to put this issue to the back of your head. Performance anxiety can not be helping this issue.
Several other key points:
1. be hydrated - drink plenty of water beforehand
2. increase your fitness level through competitive sports
3. don't do all of the work - sexually speaking - let her do some
4. This is not The Olympics - no one's keeping score - let it go
5. sex doesn't equal love - and that's ok
You still have two hands and a mouth, use them, perhaps knowing you can please her will help reduce your performance anxiety.
Also realise that men are not machines. See the doctor.
Similar problem...found out my hormones were low. One thing I am a little fuzzy on, you were having sex with your current girlfriend then one day you just started losing interest?
[QUOTE=Ducy;224723]Similar problem...found out my hormones were low. One thing I am a little fuzzy on, you were having sex with your current girlfriend then one day you just started losing interest?[/QUOTE]
no.. my ex ex gf we were going off like no tomorrow last year. early this year i was with another.. stopped for while as work etc etc etc. very physical, long hours etc etc.. had this girl on the side a couple months ago n thats when i noticed it.. and now recently with my current gf just making out n what not im not interested.. i can play with her body for a bit then after about 5 mins i couldn't be bothered n jus wanna like watch a movie or something.
Girl on the side, huh?
Sounds to me like either it's guilt or lack of exhilaration because it's not 'dangerous' or 'rule-breaking'.
i agree with Lnt, not unstable enough
Sounds more to me like a serial mongamist with low hormone levels who doesn't really pay proper attention to his partners.
Sounds to me like someone with low hormones and still broken hearted. I mean you could go anytime with your ex but then you got a new one adn your barely there. Hormones are shot, gauranteed, plus your not over your ex.
thank you all for your critisism.. when i say girl on the side i am talking about a best friend being with benefits lending a hand here and then... on the note most of the time it was me lending her a hand as i was un interested!
on the other note i left my ex because we weren't working.
Maybe you have this huge connection with the girl on the side? And now you cant get past that? I still say there is something about the ex bothering you. You seem a lil defensive.
No it sounds like girl on the side was the first no-go. I really bet there's something unresolved about the ex.
Does your current gf reciprocate, even initiate, or is it all you all the time?
It doesn't appear that she was HIS girl on the side - more like he was HER guy on the side.
I don't think he's defensive - more like bored.
Go get your hormones checked and then come back.