> This may sound weird for a straight guy to ask other guys. But how do you define a blowjob and what do you like in a blowjob?

This is not weird at all, why would you think so?

I define the activity as anything that involves the penis and mouth.

> I have noticed that many women's magazines and sex guides say that when a woman gives head she only needs to put the glans in her mouth and wrap a hand around the shaft of the penis and this will make us men think that she is taking the while thing in her mouth.

This seems to be the description of a "snow job".

> I disagree. For one thing it is not stimulation of the head of my penis that makes me cum. It is stimulation of the underside at the end of the phrenelum opposite the glans that gets me off.

This is true most of the time; however, it is possible to sometimes have a climax triggered just from oral stimulation. It just depends....

> To me a blowjob means being brought to orgasm by oral stimulation and said oral stimulation continues until the orgasmic spasms have subsided.

I suppose you could describe the activity this way; however, I believe this is too restrictive. A BJ is any activity that involves the penis and mouth as noted, above. Like a hand job, or a kiss or a caress, it is just one more form of caress that imparts pleasure and stimulation.

One point I have noticed from many male posters on other threads is; the woman's degree of confidence and willingness [her enjoy do it] to please their partner, and eye contact during the deed. I am a woman; notice the skills are god but enjoying going it, stroking the shaft while licking the head, teasing, my hair touching him, and looking at him, seems to be a major turn on for him & in return it turns me on...

Sera hit the nail on the head in the sense of confidence. As well as when a woman looks up at you, and seeing the thrill in her eyes. I don't so much enjoy a handjob while she does so because I feel it dries it out too much. I LOVE it when she goes slow and deep then fast and just around the tip.

Since you have answered your own question; why did you bother asking? There are many threads on this topic already.:confused:

[quote=dlb;197642]No I did not answer my own question. I asked for other peoples' opinions and THEY answered. Now cut me some slack, I am new this is my first posting.

I guess the reason I am here and asking what other people consider a proper BJ is because I am having trouble teaching my wife to give a BJ the way I want it. Maybe someone could give me some pointers there.[/quote]I thought I did?

[QUOTE=dlb;197556]This may sound weird for a straight guy to ask other guys. But how do you define a blowjob and what do you like in a blowjob? I have noticed that many women's magazines and sex guides say that when a woman gives head she only needs to put the glans in her mouth and wrap a hand around the shaft of the penis and this will make us men think that she is taking the while thing in her mouth.

I disagree. For one thing it is not stimulation of the head of my penis that makes me cum. It is stimulation of the underside at the end of the phrenelum opposite the glans that gets me off. For another thing a hand does not feel like a mouth. Furthermore part of the joy of a receiving fellatio for me is seeing my cock disappear in the mouth of a beautiful face.

And finally...if it is manual stimulation that makes me cum I consider it a handjob, not a blowjob. To me a blowjob means being brought to orgasm by oral stimulation and said oral stimulation continues until the orgasmic spasms have subsided.

I would love to hear opinions from men, and women too.[/QUOTE]

I love oral sex. I love giving it and I love getting it. And I love taking turns.

You are right about having the underside of the shaft stimulated. Its rare to find someone who can use his/her tongue effectively - but its really not that hard to do.

I also like being stimulated by hand, and mouth simultaneously, either alternating, or in combination...variety is good. As is switching from using the mouth on the penis...to stimulating the penis by hand, while using the mouth to stimulate the scrotum...abdomen, inside of the thighs...and then switching it up again...mouth on penis..hands stroking nipples, legs...etc. Then switching places....and back again.

I guess I enjoy the active participation by both parties...and maybe its more prevalent in male/male situations. But I don't see why a male/female couple couldn't make an all oral agreement for a night...69 is a beautiful thing.

Also, its never been very important how or where I ejaculate...but more about both of us being satisfied. When guys ask me "where do you like to cum" it always puzzles me. I think I'm more "sperm of the moment" when it comes to cumming when oral sex is involved. A big part of good oral sex, I've found...is good oral communication...and receptivity to same.

I'm also puzzled by guys who simply want to "blow and go"...i.e, they aren't interested in anything beyond servicing another guy to completion...which leaves me kind of cold. Works for some I guess. I tend to prefer an emotional connection.

Yea, eye contact is the biggest thing to me...My girlfriend NEVER looks up:( She keeps her face pointed downward. It's the oddest damned thing. I figured it was a self-confidence issue, so I don't bring the topic up. I figure, she'll look at me, if and when, she feels comfortable doing so.

This being said the OP stated, again, it was not helpful. :confused:

[quote=dlb;197642]No I did not answer my own question. I asked for other peoples' opinions and THEY answered. Now cut me some slack, I am new this is my first posting.

I guess the reason I am here and asking what other people consider a proper BJ is because I am having trouble teaching my wife to give a BJ the way I want it. Maybe someone could give me some pointers there.[/quote]Here is the same...be happy she does it. Perhaps cut her the slack. Perhaps skip you definitions...

OP=Original poster...

cjb my ex did the same thing to me. It was a matter of confidence...the more she did it the more she would look up.

dlb if you want pointers go to the pleasing him section....as far as my opinion. Sera said it perfect. Confidence is key

I like feeling the warmth and softness of a mouth on my shaft, thats why I love the feeling from deep throat. But I dont really care for finishing with oral. I actually prefer manual stimulation because the saliva creates a strange sensation, which just sends me into bliss :D

[quote=dlb;197821]Thanks for the opinion Ducy. They are all appreciated.
I do not want pointers on how to give a blowjob I am not interested in giving a guy a blowjob. I have had blowjobs in my life. I know what I want. Now if anyone has any pointers on how to teach someone else to give a blowjob that would be greatly appreciated. You know I teach at the university level on an individula basis. I know that different people learn in different ways. I am sure that the same is true with sex and I fear that with my wife the teaching technique which might have been highly sucksessful with one person is not correct for her.[/quote]You want to tell her what feels good when she is there. Say "yes just like that; you are so sexy...look at me & how much I am enjoying your expertise" Ask her is she learning new tips. Giving her confidence and feedback of what you like will get you all you want...remember we want to see men happy. The happier they are and enthusiastic about what I just did; makes me fulfilled since i am meeting his needs...and then I want to do it more & more! Then all inhibitions fall, you might find she brings some cool tricks.

I must say this first, I LOVE giving blow jobs and I love his cum. Theres something really sexy and satisfying about sucking my man's cock. I almost prefer giving HIM oral than receiving it myself, its just THAT hot to me. Plus it just tastes and smells so great. :D

Anyways, I always look up and give him this playful look while I'm blowing him. I tend to switch between deep throating, sucking on the head, and totally pulling off and licking the underside. Sometimes when I pull off and am licking, I'll give him a bit of a hand job, and smile at him, and ask if he's enjoying or say something dirty like "I love sucking your big hard cock, I want you to fůck me after" in a seductive voice. be Also when he gets close, I usually jerk him off and move his cock in and out of my mouth fast, as if my mouth was fůcking him, he seems to love that. Also when he cums, I swallow his cum and lick him clean. His whole body shudders and spasms if I keep licking/gently sucking after he cums, because he gets so sensitive. He says he loves it that I keep going, rather than just letting him cum then moving away. It slowly brings him back down rather than sharply falling off a cliff if you catch my metaphor. :)

Sorry for being graphic, I guess I kinda got into the moment :D. Wish he was here right now mmmm ;).

[QUOTE=dlb;197821]Thanks for the opinion Ducy. They are all appreciated.
I do not want pointers on how to give a blowjob I am not interested in giving a guy a blowjob. I have had blowjobs in my life. I know what I want. Now if anyone has any pointers on how to teach someone else to give a blowjob that would be greatly appreciated. You know I teach at the university level on an individula basis. I know that different people learn in different ways. I am sure that the same is true with sex and I fear that with my wife the teaching technique which might have been highly sucksessful with one person is not correct for her.[/QUOTE]

Yes it's understood that YOU are not interested in giving a BJ. If you KNOW what you want.. then you have to express that to her. Have you ever just come out and told her what/how you like it?!?
I mean you already said that what you've noticed in women's mags in the fact of focusing on the head...and w/ a combo BJ/HJ. I am assuming these were probably you wife's mags left in the bathroom or something... so if she read that...and you haven't mentioned anything otherwise...then how is she supposed to know??
How is she to know you have such a direct definition of a BJ...and if a hand is used.. it's just a mouth assisted HJ?!?!

I am much the same way in that I am not confident in giving them and it's not my fave thing to do...but I do it b/c I know he likes it.
I am not big on the confidence, eye contact, and making it a huge show... which I understand is what guys like since they are visual beings.
I don't have underlying issues w/ sex in that I'm suppressed religiously or whatever....that I feel it's dirty....but oral to me is somewhat pornstar-ish... so I guess that is why I feel hesistant in putting on a show.

I know my b/f is watching me intently when I do it.. he's told me before he likes to watch. It's sort of like when you are doing anything else in life... a simple task or a complex one... if you know someone is staring and watching your every move... it makes you nervous... or makes you feel like you are about to make a mistake! lol

Have her read in the pleasing him section. You said you wanted pointers for her, so have her read it....I knew you didnt want to give BJ's. I mean I figured you were married to a woman, so its kinda hard to do that to a girl, since they do lack a penis.

Eye contact for me really does it.

[quote=Ducy;197880]Have her read in the pleasing him section. You said you wanted pointers for her, so have her read it....I knew you didnt want to give BJ's. I mean I figured you were married to a woman, so its kinda hard to do that to a girl, since they do lack a penis.[/quote]Ditto! The women's magazines give a different version of truthfulness, perhaps to get a woman to at least try it? But I find them "odd versions" of what men like (magazines)! Read the threads under pleasing him....BJ/Oral...leave the screen on BUT don't sign in; just search as a guest, she may read when you are not home ...

Or she will confront him and say "Who the HELL have you been going down on?!?" lol

Man a little teeth can be fun.