Hello! I have a quick question that I have been curious about for a while...I wasn't able to find the answer anywhere. When you are giving, say, a hand job, what should you be doing while the guy is ejaculating? I have noticed that a lot of guys seem to get super-sensitive right when they start to orgasm, and if stimulation is continued it seems to be almost painful for them (and I've been told that this can actually ruin their orgasms). As a woman this seemed odd to me at first since the last thing on my mind at orgasm is for the stimulation to stop!
So with that said, what should you do while they are actually ejaculating to improve their orgasm? Is it best to have a "hands-off" policy (in other words, let go of their penis when they start to ejaculate and just let it "ejaculate on its own")? Or would it be better to keep holding it but stop moving your hand? Or perhaps some other technique? Thanks for the advice!
In their two classics in the 1950s, Masters & Johnson identified a real difference between man and women during orgasm. They found that women prefer the stimulation to continue at the same pressure and same pace throughout the orgasm. They found that men genrally prefer no motion. Notice that when a man ejaculates into you, he will usually thrust deep and hold still until the spasms stop.
Transferring that to our action, press your hand to the bottom of the shaft and hold stil with the skin stretched slightly. If doing oral, press the skin down but hold the motion or tongue or lips around the head still suction steady.
This is a point of departure. We women have great variation from one time to the next and from woman to woman. Men seem to differ less but there are idiosyncracies.
Actually - experiment and see what's works best for your particular man. He will appreciate it - greatly! LOL
Different men will tell you different things. I like the stimulation to be continuous, for the pumping or stroking of the middle and lower shaft to continue. Also carressing or cupping the scrotum or very gently squeezing the top of the scrotum where it joins the groin.
I'll agree with dlb - when the movement stops, particularly with a handy, it can ruin it for me. I prefer a little light stimulation to see it throught then hands off! You'll have to ask whats prefered I reckon
Yes I agree as well with light stimulation on the shaft only. I like to really "milk" every last drop out of me.
Yes, men usually do not become overly sensitized when masturbating, yet bring a partner into the action and the chemistry will often be sufficient to heighten their level of arousal beyond what they normally derive by themselves. This releases chemicals in the brain that then make it painful to stimulate the penis further for several minutes. Give him 15-20 minutes while he also passes thru the refractory period and then see if he is good to go, again.
There is an article listed in the Index that discusses what to do when a woman's clitoris becomes too sensitive to touch. Yes, it does happen, often enough for an article to be written. Please read it.
As for what to do while he is ejaculating--talk to him about this and get his input.
He may want you to stimulate his shaft and if so can then tell you how, where, when, and to what degree.
Does he want his semen to land someplace in particular? For you to receive it in your mouth? To swallow? (What he wants and what you will permit are worthy of discussion.)
Thanks a bunch for the advice! I asked and he said that it usually feels better if nothing is touching his penis during his orgasm, but that the suggestions in this thread work wonders sometimes as well haha. I find it kind of funny and interesting that those researchers Brandye mentioned found that most men don't like any motion at orgasm, but all of the guys who replied here said exactly the opposite lol. Just goes to show that everyone's wired differently I suppose!
Sometimes I will continue to move in a way that brought me to a climax, other times when I sense the onset of an ejaculation I will thrust inward, straining, and holding still until the event is over. It's all about what feels good in the moment--and I don't know ahead of time which way it will go.