Oh hon, it's not you. Loads of girls just never really can cum during sex. Maybe clit stimulation works better than vaginal for you, and you're not getting enough clit stimulation during sex. Maybe he just sucks at it. Maybe you'll start having orgasms eventually...it's tough to say.

But if he looks at you all crazy and stuff he's a crappy boyfriend. He's told you he's into bondage, right? (Saw you on that other thread.) So you should be able to tell him what you want, too! And if you can't...dump the prick.

It's pretty tough for me to cum during sex, so we often use a vibrator at the same time. He likes it because it's kinda kinky and he can feel it too, and I like it because I'm much more likely to have an orgasm. You could suggest that! Seriously, there's a pretty good chance he'll love the idea. And if he doesn't...see above.

You've already faked it a bunch of times so it'd be pretty awkward to say, like, "Hey, I was faking it - now let's try something better!" but you could say something like "Sex with you is great (fingers crossed) but what if we tried some new stuff?"

Oh yeah and...some positions work better than others for different girls. Doggy style works pretty good for me :)

Most importantly: It's not you. You're not doing anything wrong. Tons and tons of other girls are in exactly the same situation as you.

[QUOTE=BitterSweetz125;206822]ok so i have been with my boyfriend for seven months now. sex can be good at times, the things is i never cum. i always fake it. i usually masterbate after we are done or something like that
so i figure it has to be me right? like why cant i cum? and then i cant tell him what i like cause then i think he's gonna look at me all crazy and stuff..plzz help:([/QUOTE]

Hi, there are several points that you bring up that I want to address.

As for sex being good "at times"-

Why isn't it good all the time? Making love is not what we do to each other; rather what we do with and for each other. This is a partnership in which both parties contribute to the activities. If methods or techniques need changing, improving, added to, or dropped, y'all have to either discuss or simply give a suggestion that we do this or that--or not.

As for not climaxing, it is is important to know that very few sexual positions place the woman's pieces-parts in close and constant contact with the male anatomy in order to create the required friction. What a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover will usually do is to reach around and finger the clitoris and labia by hand while stroking away. You may want to suggest this.

Prior to intercourse, it is recommended that you have one or more orgasms.
Prior to intercourse, he should be brought to the brink of an orgasm.
Afterward, if you want another one or more orgasms, then let him know.

There is nothing wrong with masturbating afterward, yet why when you have him. Encourage him to do the deed as many times as you would like over whatever time frame you want to spend making love.

As for not being able to tell him what you like, your thought on this is absolutely wrong. Communication is the cornerstone of every relationship including the sexual and romantic component of it. Communication can take the form of a talk or discussion, hints, or guiding him to do what you want.

If you do not work together all you have is wishful thinking and let me tell you guys are linear thinkers, we go from A to B to C yet for some strange quirk of nature, often need someone else to connect the dots. Put another way: we are not mind readers. So, it's on YOU to start the ball rolling and to guide it along its path, at least initially.

If he cannot stimulate you as needed by hand and/or mouth, then guide him. You can take his hand in yours and guide his movements over several sessions until he learns to mimic the technique you have come to rely upon to bring about an orgasm. As for oral, give him feedback, verbally and/or non-verbally so that he has cues as to how you are responding and for what you need now.

As for your attractiveness, this is your hangup. When a person falls for another, we accept him/her unconditionally including the parts as yet unseen. Well, the two of you have passed this hurdle and he has told you he likes your body. Accept this as gospel. Now, close your eyes or turn off the lights and do all those positions or things you want to do yet are inhibited about. If you do not, you'll still be in this rut next month, next season, next year.

If you are able to orgasm on your own, you should be able to do it with him. It may be lack of trust or you not letting go. Show him what works for you. Stop accepting the art of faking it. Why would you do that? Just so you are making him feel adequate? You are doing neither him nor yourself any great benefits. Why so he feels better? Perhaps he needs to refine his skills or he need direction from you. The majority of men are happy/pleased with their ability to help her obtain a climax. However, leaving him to figure it out is unfair to him. You are responsible for having your own orgasm; your partner only assists you getting there.

A quarter of all women never experience orgasm. A quarter experience orgasms through pentration and thrusting. That leaves one-half of us (I included) who require some stimulation with fingers or tongue to get there. If you can have orgasms alone, you can have orgasms with a partner. The partner needs to be shown what is required.

there should be a STICKY made for female orgasms;)

Pulled the rabbit out of the hat wolla:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_her/21388-the_anatomy_the_femal...

:)

[QUOTE=HardNgood;206836]there should be a STICKY made for female orgasms;)[/QUOTE]

I'll consider penning another article to add to our growing collection. What information do you believe should be included and what topics should be discussed?

-doc

The same orgasm you have when you masturbate is the same orgasm you should have during intercourse if:

1. he is at all skilled
2. you are properly aroused
3. you are properly relaxed

If you are tensing up, seeking to remain in control for some reason, if you think sex is 'dirty', if you stop breathing deeply, if you really don't like him, if you don't think he can 'do it' for you, if you lose focus. All of these things can ruin a good orgasm.

Focus your mind on FEELING, breathe deeply and calmly, RELAX your body, put all thoughts except "this man will please you" on hold and LET IT ROLL!

Then RELAX and let the orgasm move through you and wait for the next one - you ARE built to handle multiple orgasms - you just have to wrap your mind around the concept.

I can donate an excerpt from my book Superb Sex on this topic to you dancingdoc if you'd like.

Tell him thats what you like....f**k pleasing him so much....get your own...If he throws a hissy fit about fingering you and making you squirt then having sex....well this is what you do...look him in the eye, say look babe...if you dont wanna listen to my needs then ill find a way to get my rocks off myself....good luck finding a way for you...

Woman are way to recepetive to their men...y'all should be more demanding...demand that your man take their time, make you hot wet and dying to feel them inside you. Demand that they learn how to please you and demand that they take you out on a romantic evening (or something that you enjoy) before you have sex...if you even have sex at all that night.

Okay then...

TELL HIM!!!

You wanna say take me now f**k me deep...then as hes finishing up putting on the condom say it....grab him by the hair...hand on the back of his head look him in the eyes and say take me now! f**k me deep and hard etc etc...(except dont say etc etc)

You seem to answer your own questions (like the thread on how to tell him) perhaps it takes another set of eyes to realize it for you...

Bitter, the bottom line from what I am grasping is just take the action. If you want a certain thing in bed, ask for it or put it infront of him. Stick your pussy in his face and say suck me baby, or I want those fingers inside me. He will like the confidence you have and get turned on by it. There's a good chance that because you dont communicate with him that he is just going through a series of the same old thing and once in awhile trying new stuff to see how you react. If you dont tell him that it was amazing then how is he supposed to know? If you cannot communicate about sex then other problems will arise down the road when series matters need to be discussed. Good luck and enjoy the moments together rather then worrying about details. Sexuality is fun, experimental, and a connection between people.