My girlfriend and I (both 18) have just started having sex and have had sex abou 5 or 6 times. Everytime we have had sex, she said she didn't feel anything. Nodda. Zippo. We've tried different possitions but none seem to help any. Is it something I am doing wrong or what is it? HELP?!
Tue, 04/13/2004 - 01:04
#1
What am I doing wrong?
The great thing about buying this stuff in supermarkerts and stores like Wal-mart is that they now have those check-it-yourself lines. No one even has to see what you are buying. It you are at all shy, it makes it soooo much nicer...lol.
OK....one BIGGIE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT USE HAND OR BODY LOTION FOR A LUBRICANT!
The oils, fragrance and other chemicals in "lotion" are not for use inside her vagina.
If you want to use lube (and don't want to go to an adult bookstore for the full variety of lube's)..u can go to any Pharmacy (Ekards, wallgreens, CVS) and go to the section where the condoms are...and you'll see KY JELLY and ASTROGLIDE and maybe one or 2 other brands - BUY THOSE! Stop using lotion!
Aside from that, i'd say it's a combination of being NEW to sex, afraid of "liking" what she feels, and stress (because she's new, naive, etc).
I think only time, practice and maturity will change this.
you can also find ky jelly at walmart.
or just buy it online like i did. lol.
I still want to know about the dynamic.
We don't know how she feels or what she thinks about this.
If I may presume, I think the reason Rawbob asked about her upbringing is that the mind is more often contributing to the lack of an orgasm than anything physical. There are, of course, many other psychological factors beyond upbringing than upbringing that could be coming into play.
And it doesn't have to be some deep pyschological thing... it may be about getting all the senses in synch... thinking, feeling... and allowing the body to respond to the mind.
So again, what does she think and feel about this?
Oh, if you don't know, ask. But don't ask while you're having sex.
Wally
I'm going to make this a separate post rather than add to the one above.... well obviously...duh...
I had to run to the store earlier and saw in Wal-mart (of all places) a product called "Finully" for help with female sensitivity. It says it is suppose to enhance it. You might see if this will help. I hope so.
Wow! Very descriptive and a lot of information. Okay, first, if you are unsure about the clitoris- try this:
The Clitoris
Well, from everything you have said, it certainly doesn't sound like this is your fault. It sounds like it could be a psychological or physical problem with your girlfriend. Here I go with the questions again- Has she ever had an orgasm or felt sexually stimulated? Is this her first sexual relationship?
Here is some more info:
I have fingured her a number of times, and she has said that it has felt very good, but I've never given her an orgasm. Also, she does not and never has masturbated, so she is no help in the area of telling me what she knows feels good. Another thing that she says doesn't feel like anything is oral sex. For one thing (I know this probably is not the case), but I could swear she doesn't have a clitoris! I search but to no avail. Probably just stupid me, but I thought I should say something on that too. We are using a condom and we are using lotion for lubrication. We do have forplay and we have tried missionary, doggy style, her on top (facing both directions), and a sitting position.
As for our stats, I am 6' 3", I'm thin (135 lbs), my penis is 5 or 6 inches. She is 5' 7", 115 lbs, not sure her waist size but not big, and her breast size is a B cup.
Finally, she is not from a strict family. Hopefully this added info can help you help me.
And one more question...
If having sex does NOTHING for her (it's hard to believe she doesn't feel A THING)... why are you still doing it?
I'm not being a smart ass.
The dynamic between you is more important to answering the question than the physical stuff.
Oberon is right, we need more information. We know you're both 18, but what are yoru physical stats? height, weight, waist size, bust size, penis size, etc.
Are you using a condom? Are you using lube or any form of spermicide? Do you perform oral sex on each other..can she feel anthing during oral (if you do oral sex).
What positions have you done? How long does your foreplay last? ARE YOU DOING FOREPLAY?
Help us help you! MORE INFO PLEASE
ps: please let us know about her famiy and upbringing. If she's from a strict family, there could be areason right there!
Well, let's see... first you need to set up a webcam, then tell us all when you are going to be on... we can then observe and evaluate your performance... I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's hard for us to know what the problem might be as we weren't there, and we aren't your girlfriend... neither are you. It may be nothing that you did. I know this may be uncomfortable- welcome to the world of sex- but ask her. Does she masturbate? If so, how does she like being touched? Can she orgasm on her own? Find out the answers to these questions. Play show and tell with her. Have her show you what feels good and tell you when you are "hitting the spot". While it may initially be embarrassing, if you let her know that it's her pleasure you are interested in, you can work together to make that happen.
Good Luck.