I've been dating the same guy for over a year now, and we thought sex would be something new to try. That was a mistake. I knew, prior, that it would be uncomfortable the first time, so really, we just "tested the water". He didn't go all the way in, but the head was in. Honestly, I don't know what to make of it. What about virginity? This has become quite the mental mess...He says he felt sick afterwards, like he just ate way too much. and I don;t know if that was me or him.
He's been stressing a lot, so have I, and we don't really have anyone we can go to, so if anyone has suggestions for how to get over this, they would be greatly appreciated.
over his sickness? or what. it was a bit unclear.
Now i find that if maybe i 'get too excited and pump a bit hard' then the slap caused by the testicles can sometimes feel afterwards like you have been kicked in the nuts. Howerver in your case i can not really imagine that that would have happened only having the head in.
If you can post a bit more information on what actually happened and why he felt sick.
eg like how long u went for, whether it was uncomfortable during, using a condom, how wet u were, etc etc.
Yeah, you're right, I was a bit vague. I was still sorta freaking out at that point, so the whole thing was unclear.
Anyhow...We probably went for about 30-45 minutes, he was wearing a condom, I was relatively wet, but not dripping. It was uncomfortable, I just felt really tight; I was expecting it though.
I'm five feet, and 110lbs, and he's rather...well endowed (just shy of 8 inches long and pretty thick) so I think he was just really nervous, like he didn't want to do anything that could hurt me.
Also, I'm questioning whether or not I'm a virgin. See, he didn't pop the cherry, he was barely in, but he was in fact in. So, technically, I'm not, but technically, I am. :confused:
The classic definition of a virgin is a girl/woman who has an intact hymen and has never engaged in intercourse. In many parts of the eastern world this remains very true. In western society where women tend to be much more physically active, a hymen can and often does erode away prior to having intercourse. So, not having a hymen, does this mean she is not a virgin? NO!
The definition adopted by western societies is that a virgin is any girl/woman who has yet to have intercourse, regardless of the condition of the hymen.
So, did the two of you engage in intercourse?
> we just "tested the water". He didn't go all the way in, but the head was in.
So the the Glans, all of perhaps an inch was inside. That he did not bury the full length of his penis within and that no stroking or thrusting took place, that no climax happened inside, are sure indicators to me that you continue to remain a virgin. It would be no different than if he dipped a finger or a toy slightly inside. Even if either of these two did go all the way in, you would still be a virgin.
> What about virginity? This has become quite the mental mess.
The two of you are obsessing unnecessarily.
Are you a virgin, or, more to the point, is your hymen intact? You can take a hand mirror and light and do an inspection yourself to find out. Your finding will bring this discussion full circle because if it is intact, and, because you your boyfriend did not completely penetrate you to the base of his penis, the answer is "yes". Even if your hymen has eroded away from sporting or other activities as a natural process of growing up the answer is still "yes".
I hope this will calm your fears and your nerves. Relax.
My recommendation is not to have intercourse until you are completely ready and this also means prepared. Among other things, being prepared means that both of you are using a contraceptive.
>>So the the Glans, all of perhaps an inch was inside. That he did not bury the full length of his penis within and that no stroking or thrusting took place, that no climax happened inside, are sure indicators to me that you continue to remain a virgin. It would be no different than if he dipped a finger or a toy slightly inside. Even if either of these two did go all the way in, you would still be a virgin.
MMkay, there was not full penetration, it was more like limited penetration; meaning I held it so as to prevent full penetration. There was thrusting mostly absorbed by my hand though. He did pull out and ejaculate immeadately thereafter (in the condom).
We decided not to do that again untill we can get me on the pill. So a visit to Planned Parenthood is on the list of places to go soon.
does it really matter ne way? if you are or not
Well, I dunno if it matters, but I like to know...Just for refrence I guess. There's probably more to it than that, but I don't know how to explain it.
[QUOTE=VampireKitten;154433]Well, I dunno if it matters, but I like to know...Just for refrence I guess. There's probably more to it than that, but I don't know how to explain it.[/QUOTE]
I agree with unknown11, why does it matter? Do you get a prize for still being a virgin? No, of course not. Stop obsessing over it - it is not worth losing any sleep over. If you want to still consider yourself a virgin, then do so.
I guess it doesn't matter, but it's really more of a mental/emotional issue.