it started when my girlfriend broke up with me. we had been together for just about a year. we were so happy together before we broke up and she never gave me a clear reason why we broke up, but i feel it was another guy. but anyways, we tried the just being friends deal and it was going fine till she stopped wanting to hang out with me anymore. so i kinda flipped out at her (i know not the best idea, but i was upset) and we just stopped talking for a while. then about 2-3 months later we started talking again and she seemed really intersted in me again. but then her interest slowly dissapeared. we started hanging out less and less. and i soon found out that there had been a guy all along. and that she cares about this guy but the guy wants nothing to do with her. so just recently(as in about a week ago) she realized this and is pissed off at him, but still cares about him. we still hang out and stuff, but she suggested not hanging out just the 2 of us, just with our friends and stuff as a group. she said it will "help me get over" her. which is having the opposite effect on me, i want to be with her even more.
well my question(s) is this. is there something wrong with me? she puts me though such emotional stress but i still want to be with her even 5-6 months after the breakup. next question, should i bother asking to hang out again? or just give up?
ive never cared about someone this much before in my life....i dont want to lose her....any other suggestions/comments that may help me would be much appreciated
p.s: my apologies if this may not make any sense, its just kinda me rambling, just try to make sense of it 
This sounds like a series of young (immature) relationships and I'm not sure but what the gal is actually showing the clearest thinking.
She's made her choice and clearly states the "ground rules" with her suggestion that you - at least temporarily - only get together with others. I think at some level she sees that you both tend to end up with each other for the wrong reasons and she's trying to prevent that from happening.
She is not putting you through emotional stress. You are doing that to yourself. Stress is always the result of our desire to have things differently than they are. You want her to want you. She does not want you. If you go much beyond that, you're overcomplicating things.
As Vag has suggested, this may well be more about you than her.
I don't think the situation requires that you totally dismiss and ignore her - assuming you can get her into perspective. "Never say 'Never," meaning there's a chance she might develop an interest in you at some point in the future. But if you cling, if you whine, if you stay obsessed with her you'll destroy any chance of that.
what eDJ said may have some truth to it, but i'm not sure the situation is quite the way he makes it out to be. the way you described things, cloud, the girl has not been as extreme as eDJ is portraying.
The problem may be more on your side. You are drawn back to her because it was comfortable with her. You felt happier and more complete with her. So you want her back for the comfort of it. I'm making this presumption because this happened to me, and after breaking up we'd convince each other it was for the wrong reasons and we were better off together. it was really just that we were more comfortable together. I'm finally out of that hopefully, and moving along with my life. But going back to the issue at hand, i would also recommend cutting all ties with her for a time. Maybe get out and start dating again, or simply be social with your friends. In this process, try to find what makes you whole, what makes you complete. And it shouldn't be a person, it should be more like a life calling, a favorite activity. once you've gotten your life figured out, you may be ready for a serious relationship again, but i'd recommend refraining from getting too serious until you can be happy with yourself. otherwise you'll be looking to the other person to make you happy and complete, and that's the situation you were already in, and you see how that is.
sorry for the rambling, hope it makes a little sense. it's late and i need to get to bed. good luck
eDJ ur tan asshole.. why are saying these pointless extremely depressing painful things. please dont mind anyting he wrote.. honestly man uir best bet is to cut the atattchment u have with her. I dont reccomend cutting all contact, but try hard to find another girl that can win ur affection so u will stop thinking about the one who hurt u. Trust me im in a situation where im so deep into a girl and nothing can happen and its so painful. try to make urself happy... peace
Every teen age guy will have memories of a girl like this one, or should have. And notice I say a memory. Later you will have memories of bad jobs and employers the same way. Even some kid you knew when you were little who used you to get his hands on something you had that he wanted.
What I'll say here is just a guess given what you have written.
DMC87 is telling you right in my opinion. What he says is straight up, but I wonder if you can get past your emotional
fix on this girl to understand what's happening to you.
Girls and guys both can play the game she is playing. People play secret games with unsuspecting people or partners in a paracitic way to gain an outcome. It's important that you get your eyes open to what is happening now and keep an eye open for it in any relationship you enter into in life.(having this skill can be healthy if you don't get too carried away with it)
It sounds like you had a year together and she knows what she can expect from you.(she could have been seeing this other guy a lot earlier than you knew about) If she designs to find another guy, but doesn't want to be without a guy at her beck and call to fall back on, she is playing both ends from the middle. People of all ages do it but it doesn't make it right. Just getting away from this person and meeting someone new will give you much better odds of finding a healthy relationship you seek. With this girl, she is positioning herself to charm your affections and if you keep giving her her way there is no telling what she may try with you. At worst she will get pregnant with the other guy she wants and when he tells her to get lost she will come back to you claiming it's yours. She may yell and scream at you in front of some of her friends (to witness for her) thinking she can trick you to admitting it may be yours. This is an old trick, but in recent years with so many women now becoming judges in the courts it is much more difficult for girls to pull off. These
women Judges saw these games growing up as girls too, and
aren't as easy for girls to bull shit at the male Judges.
When she comes back to you from time to time saying it is to make it easier on you(for her dumping you) BEWARE. Even if you two aren't having sex(and she may even offer to be your f***-buddy) people will have seen you with her. So if she says you got her pregnant at a certain time(even if she was sleeping around
with the guy she really wanted to be with at the same time) you may be the one she bails out on. Should she have a child you may get stuck paying support for it....that could be for as much as the next 18 years.
I'm just saying this stuff to fill in on some of what DMC87 is telling you. Just tactfully blow her off and life will get better because you will have given yourself a chance to do better.
(the next girl you meet, kinda clue her in about this girl too,
so she can't try to mess things up for you and your new girlfriend) She may be playing you for a sap and betting she can string you along to appear to be a hottie.(bait other guy's with you and let them think they can take her away from you...and exploit his jealousy this scheme to get dates with new guys). She is her own worst enemy now, so don't let her drag you down with her too!(if she keeps it up in time everyone around will know all about her and she will probably find some poor sap to take her to another town where she can try to make a fresh having wasted years of her life)
There is an old black and white movie titled, "The Last Picture Show" which has a girls in the story who is like the girl you describe. You could find this old movies and watch it. I've seen girls who date several guys thru the Christmas season just to get a bunch of gifts to showoff to other guys and girls how hot she is. Likewise there are guys out there who are sexing any of four or five different girls they have on the string without any of them knowing about the others, so they can feel like they are the big stud and brag to the other guys in the locker room.
What usually gives these people away is their having to
travel out of town or working odd hours or responsibilites that keep you appart frequently. They may have to go with their folks to a relatives etc frequently....when they are really seeing someone else. Still when they come back to you they are all charm and may even bring you little trinket gifts to razzle dazzle you with. There's so many ways to cheat.
eDJ
This is gonna sound harsh, but its best just to cut all contact with this girl for around 6 months, maybe more, or forever if you can handle it.
As you are, your not thinking straight, your over-analysing a situation that, as far as I can tell, is over. On top of that there is the possibility she is stringing you along.
Take a while away, get hold of your emotions and clear your head. It'll make it a lot easier.