The quickest way to a womans heart is through her ribcage lol sorry couldnt help myself....

Seriously though, it is complicated since all women are different. But what I have found is that women want a man who is there for them....to help them through their struggles, to hold them in their arms, and to tell them that they are (that mans) world. They usually (from most of my female friends and my girlfriend) dont want a man who is pushy, or jerky to them in front of his friends yet sweet when they are alone....

Basically the quickest way to a womans heart....be a gentleman to them....see them as a person not as another piece for you to nail up on your trophy wall...and last but not least....If they are really your reason for being alive....dont just tell them....show it through thoughtful gestures and gifts such as a text message with a love poem in it to wake them up.

Text messages? Maybe if you're going after teenage girls, but not women. Love letters belong on paper, not in "txt speek" on a 1-inch screen...

Kids these days... I swear, most of you would die if you didn't have your computers, cell phones, ipods and god knows what else. I guess I'm just "classic". I don't even have a damn cell phone. I like being completely unreachable...

As for the original question - it's got nothing to do with providing comfort and shiny trinkets, and everything to do with who you are as a person.

Don't under estimate the power of flowers "just because" and hand written notes.

ENTHUSIASM!! and NOT in an 'eager puppy' kind of way but rather as man who would be willing to take on the world itself in our defense wth joy in is heart and take on us with a wicked gleam in his eye and a wide, wide grin.

[QUOTE=oedipussy;195218]Text messages? Maybe if you're going after teenage girls, but not women. Love letters belong on paper, not in "txt speek" on a 1-inch screen...

Kids these days... I swear, most of you would die if you didn't have your computers, cell phones, ipods and god knows what else. I guess I'm just "classic". I don't even have a damn cell phone. I like being completely unreachable...

As for the original question - it's got nothing to do with providing comfort and shiny trinkets, and everything to do with who you are as a person.[/QUOTE]

Oh...im sorry....dont get me wrong, love poem on paper isnt bad...but then at the same time, me being in college and her in high school limits me giving her things like that and her mom is psychotic so I cant send her a love letter in the mail since her mom opens her mail. (made the mistake of sending her a little poem not love but her mom opened it and went off)....btw....remember everyone is different....im working with what I got right now....IDK about you oed but being 17 doesnt really give me as much wiggle room as someone who is 21 or 30...and when i say gifts Im not talking diamonds and stuff im talkin a surprise flower or two maybe a dozen on a special day, homemade dinner, a just because massage after a stressfull day. Guess i should really start specifying myself when i post cuz it seems like im under more scrutiny for my writing here then when Im taking my english finals lol...

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;195233]ENTHUSIASM!! and NOT in an 'eager puppy' kind of way but rather as man who would be willing to take on the world itself in our defense wth joy in is heart and take on us with a wicked gleam in his eye and a wide, wide grin.[/QUOTE]

That must be why my girlfriend loves me....cuz hey if you've seen me well I dont really have much to offer lol :D

Yes, Ducy it's good practice for all on the board to "write" and to specify what they are saying; it will help with the English finals and College...

A way to a woman's heart is meeting the man who is confident...flowers are nice & good sex.

Yea sera I tend to get a little vague when I reply to something...especially lately...cant wait till I go back to the docs...no more meds and much better replies to posts! :D

I find more and more that women are attracted to talent.

[quote=Ephemera;195335]I find more and more that women are attracted to talent.[/quote]Yeah. Why would a woman not be attracted to a man w/some type of talent? He better be good at something!!! Big turn on for attraction is (to me): confidence, good looks (smile, eyes, muscle) and works with tools well & can fix anything, sexual expertise.

Don't forget cooking.

Hmm,

I have read all of the posts here and it is funny that every women has a different opinion on it. I must admit that I used to be really romantic and write love poems and such. However, I was hurt sooo terribly by my ex-fiancee that I have kind of lost the spontaneity and interest in being so romantic off the bat. I once wrote her a 3 page letter telling her how much she meant to me and that I loved her with my very soul and wanted to spend my life with her. She has a son who is now 6, I think. We met in a bar in NYC believe it or not, and we liked each other right away. We exchanged phone numbers and I called her the next day. Our first phone call was like 3 hours and I was like, WOW. This girl is amazing. She then went to Niagara Falls for about a month before she came to CT to visit me. We went out to dinner and then back to the hotel room for the most incredible sex I have ever had in my life. She was a Puerto Rican girl and was soo beautiful. I tried to make her feel sexy and pretty all of the time but she seemed to have major trust issues that I didn't pick up on until after we broke up 7 months later. I think I am just a dope who falls for the wrong types of women all of the time.

Needless to say, I have not had a meaningful relationship since I broke up with her. I try every day to forget her but I find it very hard. I loved her so much but she could never reciprocate that love for me which broke my heart. I wanted to raise her son as my own and take care of them for the rest of my life. Well, I will not say her name but I will say that if she ever reads this, that I wish her the best always. I have not heard from her in any way, shape, or form, in over two years and I must admit that I do think about her from time to time and wish it could have been different.

Now, I'm in San Diego, California and the women out here are so hard to get to know.

Anyway, sorry to write so much here but I guess I just wish I could understand what my problem with women is.

Oh, and I forgot to say that I am talented musically. I play drums and piano. I will admit that I'm not the best looking dude on the planet but oh well.

I also am a good cook!!! My Mom raised me well. In fact, I made thanksgiving dinner tonight!!!

Cooking is a major plus...if one cannot cook helping clean up is a big help. As far as your lost love...if it's meant to be it will happen. Just get out and meet women. Baby steps! Kindness & consideration go a long way with women....Good luck!

HI Sera,

Thanks. You don't live in San Diego, do you? It's very hard meeting women here. Most of the younger girls play all of these games with men, making it hard even though they might want a guy just as much as a guy wants them. Not to mention for me, that I misunderstand women all of the time. Most if they are friendly and nice to me have no romantic interest if that makes any sense.

So, another question for the ladies. . .How would I ever know that a girl is interested if she never appears that way?

Scotty, more than most likely, you're coming across to the women like a desperate puppydog - witness what you wrote here to perfect strangers! - STOP IT. Being at all "needy" does NOT attract the kind of women you want.
Since you say they are "hard to get to know" you are most likely opening up and leading with your heart far too fast which causes the women to shut down and turn away. Be willing to RELAX and let the "getting to know" take place over months, not minutes! Even if you have to fake it - be confident, fun, and happy because JOY & ENTHUSIASM attracts!

hmmm i find girls like as people have said to a trusty person and the loving man. Pitty the ones that i no (friends) end up going out with "jerks" and getting there heart broken and me telling them i told you so, then them asking my why im not gonig outwith any one and me trailing off, and saying very long sentances to change the subject and a long pause .........................................................................
(basicly right now im on a break but they think crazy)

Scotty:
Opposite side of the US...do as Evil said. Women will be falling over you...be confident yet approachable, and smile!

I like... approachable, sweet, determined. I like people who know what they want and know they can get it... by that I mean people who aren't afraid to be dreamers. I don't like the player type... I like shy guys. I guess part of that is because I feel like a lot of people judge me or would want to go out with me based on my looks... so I tend to go for people who don't seem shallow and who I can relate to on a more intellectual level. I'm attracted to men who like to read and who can hold down a good conversation. If there is one thing I'm attracted to, it's being genuine.

There are so many women who like so many different things, tho. When the right one comes along, she'll like you for who you are. Don't worry about wooing women by being anything in particular. Of course self improvement is always good... so if you aren't comfortable with your appearance I think there is definitely something to be said for buying some nice clothes and getting a good haircut and getting good dental and dermatologist care. But don't worry too much about trying to attract women with anything in particular, is my point. Play up your good qualities. If you don't have a certain quality, don't fake it. If you are a stable, sane guy who can hold down a job, doesn't live with his parents, and treats women with respect, you will find someone. Being a good musician and a good cook are just pluses.

Looking to meet people? Taking classes is a great way to make friends and meet people. Ask your friends to introduce you to girls you might like. Volunteering for something is another good way to meet people. Going to museums and local events. At a cafe. Wherever. Make friends with your neighbors. Any way that you meet people, you meet potential dates. Or the friends, brothers, and neighbors of potential dates.

I hate shy guys! Why? Because then I have to do ALL of the work - the heavy lifting of thinking up topics to discuss only to be met with monosyllabic replies etc. PFFFT! But I also don't like guys who try to back me into a corner. That will only get them hurt. Relax, chat, give me room to breathe, ask me dance, buy me a soda without asking, show some interest - and maybe I'll pick up your option.

Tips:
1. decide what sort of person you want
2. whatever your issues and flaws are - FIX THEM
3. go where the kind of person you wants hangs out
4. talk, smile, and interact with people - lots of them
5. do not have a set agenda or expectations go and have and BE fun!

works for me!

"Remember, if women don't find ya handsome, they should at least find you handy."

dude.....

seduction is a very peculiar subject indeed, mainly because you have to live by the rules of a very peculiar creature.

It is either something that needs loads of effort and painstaking technique, or it happens seemingly totally randomly.

In this society women have one hundred percent of the power. Try and make it 50/50 and you're going to jail. So really, there is absolutely nothing you can do to improve your chances. I know its very fashionable to say otherwise, but that really is the truth.

And I think some of the girls here, by what they post, are Great! But let me tell you something:

Women are awful at picking up women!!! Did you read their advice?!
I'm sure youve been doing just what they said for years now.

Let me tell you something about women in San Diego. And SoCal in general. In fact, 99% of all women on Earth.

They only care about how much money you have. It really is that simple, and I have learnt it the HARD way.

But if you stand any chance at all, it is the C word youre after.

Without overwhelming her with money, The only way you can command even a measure of control in seduction is to use quite advanced psychology. It is possible, but whatever you do dont get drawn to the so-called "gurus" out there who claim to have a method. Because I know theres a lot of them in Southern California and they, too, make a lot of money from the male sexual desire.

tell me how you're getting on with no technique though. I wish you all the best.

Satanity - that's pure PIFFLE!
Women pick men for all sorts of reasons; some even for no reason at all!

We seduce and hope the guy picks up on it...in NY...well, it's a whole different story. Small gene pool of men; limited choices!

Yo satanity...you really need to cool it kid, cuz trust me I have learned a lot of s**t the hard way, like why you shouldn't date people who your friends believe arent good for you (cuz they generally wind up cheating on you).

You sound like a nice guy...dont loose it cuz their are only a few of us left...cuz for every girl who has f***ed a guy over, there is 1 who has fixed his heart...

[QUOTE=Satanity;203127]dude.....

seduction is a very peculiar subject indeed, mainly because you have to live by the rules of a very peculiar creature.

It is either something that needs loads of effort and painstaking technique, or it happens seemingly totally randomly.

In this society women have one hundred percent of the power. Try and make it 50/50 and you're going to jail. So really, there is absolutely nothing you can do to improve your chances. I know its very fashionable to say otherwise, but that really is the truth.

And I think some of the girls here, by what they post, are Great! But let me tell you something:

Women are awful at picking up women!!! Did you read their advice?!
I'm sure youve been doing just what they said for years now.

Let me tell you something about women in San Diego. And SoCal in general. In fact, 99% of all women on Earth.

They only care about how much money you have. It really is that simple, and I have learnt it the HARD way.

But if you stand any chance at all, it is the C word youre after.

Without overwhelming her with money, The only way you can command even a measure of control in seduction is to use quite advanced psychology. It is possible, but whatever you do dont get drawn to the so-called "gurus" out there who claim to have a method. Because I know theres a lot of them in Southern California and they, too, make a lot of money from the male sexual desire.

tell me how you're getting on with no technique though. I wish you all the best.[/QUOTE]

Confidence, being self-assured. Kindness, being sincere........all these will
help. "Talent" is open ended.......define talent...

Santanty:

FYI: Men pick up with women for the same reason they see $$$$. Men also look for the free ride in life.

Pick up with a man who has JUST a strict, good cash-flow? Not nearly enough for me. I want the whole package. I want a match; no man's money buys him the right to bed me...brains, intellect, charm, confidence, a great smile, nice glimmer in his eyes, etc; I give the same in return--therefore, I feel I can ask the same of him. Proper handling of his finances [by him] are essential if he wished to have a relationship for a longer time frame with me [as I do the same] since I do not need a "financial leach"--too much liability for what I have worked for through out my life.

For some reason I think the women you come in contact with [or your friends] may not be the right ones. Look for the whole package...a good & decent person. A few of us women do have some ethics/morals...:)

Money can buy you much pain...as said; "All the Pain Money Can Buy" from a CD cover & yet so true. Finances will never buy never true happiness or true love. Mutual respect goes far & both ways. What does the women you describe say about their character? Needy, insecure, and they are miss the wrong attributes in a man? All they see is the glitter & not the man.

On the flip side, some women have also learned the hard way...make your choices well, not all women are a like seek a match and blow off those who go for quest for a man who appears wealthy--they are merely gold digger willing to take advantage of you/others; however, why do they appear to find these women & take up with them, lack of thought? Find a woman who values you as a man, respects your "separate property", do not co-mingle finances nor use them to control her, and you will be golden! Unwilling to sign an agreement? Guess what? Out the door.

Now, off to reality...best of luck in this quest! Men & women of such caliber are difficult to find! Keep yourself among your "own". I am assuming you are not married and just posting a comment. Or have been through the trial and tribulations of such experiences--in NY. Hence, it's not your geographical location. There are some good & decent men/women out there; they just need to be uncovered since they tend to "buffer" themselves to prevent such episodes as you describe. :)

Have a great Holiday Season and a wonderful New Year!

again good advice:):p

Who do you wish to define talent???? Hey, its the truth & thanks for the compliment! I find it ironical to have a skewed sense of women since men do the exact same thing...I found keep the "glitter & gold" exterior under wraps...much as evil suggest the Millionaire Next Door--what's a few extra zeros???

Completed your Christmas Shopping for other's, yet??? LOL! Question is how much did you get for you? While shopping for others? Those things you cannot resist....:)

Almost done......a few surprises left hopefully. To be honest, I enjoy
giving to others much more than getting gifts. I have enough stuff I
think...Really the spirit of the season is helping others and bringing smiles
to their faces. As far as resisting, I am bad at that THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.:eek:

[quote=constantlylearning;203146]Almost done......a few surprises left hopefully. To be honest, I enjoy
giving to others much more than getting gifts. I have enough stuff I
think...Really the spirit of the season is helping others and bringing smiles
to their faces. As far as resisting, I am bad at that THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.:eek:[/quote]Yes, but seeing all the nice clothing is hard to resist that shopping temptation...one for them one for me...etc. I enjoy giving to others either through a personal gift [for loved ones] or through donations to particular interests/causes which I strongly believe in [for strangers]. That puts a great smile on my face; knowing I made someones life a it nicer without them ever knowing or knowing I may have made an impact on someones life!

I finished!!! Yeah! Planned ahead knowing I would not be up to "par" to do as I usually can. One small item to pick up; a sentimental gift for a family member!:D

Satanity:

One last thought...looking at the issue introspectively; what does it say about a man or woman who falls into these "traps"? There was failure to choose wisely and to use discretion in making a choice.

If you show flash and glimmer? One finds themselves in a bad situation; however, they made the choice and did not look well enough into the person of interest. These people are easily spotted; one mistake and it will not be repeated. Judiciously select a companion based on their values. Hide the flash; you will then find a person with integrity. When one eliminates such game; there is none to be played. If one is passed over? They were not worth the time to begin with...:)

I do not invite men to my home for reasons...eliminates issues. And dress down a bit. You may appear less attractive by those who are seeking the "C"; find out about them and decide from there.

Well, your definitions are always good to read of course.....:p

I am done with my XMas shopping. A bit late for me but tis done. For myself I bought a skimpy dress, some earrings, and perfume. All for my Mardi Gras adventure in Feb 2008. (You know the dress is skimpy when a matching thong drops out of the package.)

(Usually I'm done XMas shopping in August - don't hate me - but then I shop the after- XMas sales and put the gifts away so, of course I'm done by August.)

People - the kind of wealth that matters involves paying dividends and capital gains - NOT BLING and NOT FANCY ITEMS, CARS, ETC. So wear the tattered blue jeans and keep your portfolio nicely positioned but quiet.

You are right EEK...but you can do both ("be well positioned" and enjoy
various items). I have always felt that it was important to enjoy the
fruits of your labor. Are you going to New Orleans EEK? If so, you will
have a great time. The Mardi Gras time (even after the terrible storm)
is something to be experienced. Really no other place like in the US.
Hey, look at real estate holding as well...................:cool:

Yes, CL - you can enjoy them but they are not wealth in the manner of productive assets. We all need more productive assets.

I have ben to New Orleans many times before the storm - lovely place!
Will see how it has changed.

But in all honesty, most are not meant to be income producing or productive
assets. Some real estate such as vacation homes could be considered
"fancy items" yet can turn hefty profits (that I can assure you). But all and
all, if the discretionary income is not available then I agree those items might
be ill advised. As far as NO is concerned, I think you will really enjoy the fun.
I have spent many days there during that time of year and have always been
amazed at the "party."

You seem to have a very warped view on how women operate, Satanity. Advanced psycology? Not even close... Most people are smart enough not to be manipulated like that.

The secret to women is that there is no secret. They're human beings just like we are. Once you stop thinking of them as "peculiar creatures", you're halfway there. Buy a girl a drink, introduce yourself, and have an actual conversation with her. That's all it takes. Seriously, how do so many men not get this? It's so damn simple...

Oedi you are so right. Just be a decent person and ACT NORMAL.......It isn't
brain surgery. Above all, ALWAYS ALWAYS treat ladies with respect and realize
they truly are SPECIAL. Don't make it so hard. Good Viewpoint Oedi.

[quote=constantlylearning;203278]Oedi you are so right. Just be a decent person and ACT NORMAL.......It isn't
brain surgery. Above all, ALWAYS ALWAYS treat ladies with respect and realize
they truly are SPECIAL. Don't make it so hard. Good Viewpoint Oedi.[/quote]So truthful....;)

just be confidant witout being pushy or self-absorbed. And don't constantly ask how they're doing, if they're hanging out with you, then the situation should speak for itself. I mean, you get points for being interested, but nobody likes to be drilled about anything, day in and day out, over and over. (Anybody remember how irritating it was when your parents asked "what did you do at school today?")

I know it's been said before, but I can't stress this enough: cooking for them works amazingly well. That can really get their attention like nothing else.

it really, for me atleast, is the simple things. leave the flash and dash at home. show me you are a gentleman in all the ways of the word. be genuine. show me you love me. hold my hand for no reason at all. hold my heart even gentler still.

I rather like being asked "how work went today?" Shows an interest. And it was a change from "welcome home, oh conquering goddess of my heart!"

well, there you have it.
Last time I use honesty on this forum!

oedipussy..... I mean....you......you really are something else. Wow. I thought those people only existed on TV. Just.... just stay away from me, yeah? You dont exist to me.

It's strange, because I was expecting the women to be deluded on this subject, and for the males to agree. But the women here have some very decent and valid, if a bit too positive, things to say, and its the males who dont know what theyre talking about. I cant say its new to me though. Have you any idea how pathetic guys appear in the eyes of women? If I was a woman, I'd be disgusted too. But its your life and actions speak louder than words. So go out there tonight and pull a beautiful woman with your nice-guy attitude. It's not gonna happen, and if there are so few of us nice guys left Ducy, ever think that might be because theyre not procreating? :p

And considering you were asking for help by posting this topic, you've certainly alienated me by addressing me with "cool it kid". No hard feelings at all, I'm just saying you're your own worst enemy.

Too bad Satanity edited his post - it was absolutely hilarious. But thankfully he kindly just sent it to me via PM so now everyone can share in how off-the-wall this guy is... Here you go:

[QUOTE]oedi-pussy ......... for the record, you dont even exist to me. You have managed to present the most pathetic and extremist loser appearance of perhaps anyone I have ever met online. I expect youre also a christian fundamentalist and a devout republican, which is not someone I am ever going to respect. You are such a loser it truly blows my mind. you have grave and severe problems, and the lowest testosterone levels I have ever encountered.
you suck at life.
so stop following me around and save your wining conservative extremism for someone, if there is one, who respects you. I am not here to have a wannabe-male jehovas witness with some sordid vendetta preaching sadistic ignorance at me.

Merry Christmas.

ps. I'm not going to read any reply.[/QUOTE]

Thank you, Satanity, this really did make my day. If I come off as some sort of saint, I feel bad for the state of humanity. You must be hanging out with some pretty depraved people to think that I'm an example of purity. Let me guess - you wear black lipstick and eyeliner in your day to day life and REALLY like Trent Reznor... Siouxsie, maybe? Or are you more the Marilyn Manson type?

Following you around? I replied to 2 of your posts. Get over yourself, kid.

Nice guy? Wow, now there's a wildly inaccurate assumption. You want to know why I can pick up women simply by talking to them while you're sitting around bitching about girls not liking you and resorting to using psycology and money? Because I'm a winner. That's the real secret. I do whatever I want, whenever I want - things just seem to fall right into place for me. I do know what I'm talking about here. Believe me, I've probably been with more women in the past 3 months than you have in your entire life. Thank you for reminding me just how damn good I have it...

I suppose it may be harder for those that aren't that attractive or charming, but that's your problem, not mine. You need to figure out how to deal with that yourself because I don't have to...

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go thank God and Jehova for giving us George W. Bush...

Oedi....well....you rise to the occasion...now use that to propel you to where you wish to be...

Oedi's so cute when he's amused.

The reason you don't see nice guys out there in the bars, Satanity, is they're happily at home with their wives and children.

Oedi definitely has charisma...I think it gets him in plenty of trouble, at times, with the ladies; therefore, causing other males to be jealous! He is the is Alpha.

Alpha? Yes, a very cute grumbly teddybear. He makes me want to pinch his cheek.