I have been married for 22 yrs and love my wife very much. Sex has slowed down a lot! I would like to spice it up by trying something kinky! My wife is not to open to some ideas. We have never tried anal sex because she does not want to! Any suggestions on how to open her mind up for new ideas?
Tue, 06/26/2007 - 08:18
#1
Want to try something new....you know kinky!
Try a bit of anal play during oral. Some women just do not like it.
No she has not explained why she is so apprehensive. I tried getting her to look at more information but I do not think she looks at it. Thank you for your post.
I have tried doing this Sara300, but she say's stop that fells wierd.
...and to add to what Sera suggested is to introduce anal play ONLY when she is really really turned on and then using the finger of one hand while the other hand is doing other caresses elsewhere. Why?
The anus is richly endowed with lots of sensitive nerve endings that turn on or become reactive when a person becomes very aroused. If you wait until then you have a much better chance of her loving it because touching the outside area will greatly augment or enhance the sensations she is enjoying from other forms of caresses.
If you take a shower or bath together beforehand, then you will both be clean and fresh. There is no need to go inside the anus and involve the sphincter muscles. You can, although, I'd hold off until another time. As you rub or gently tap the outside of the anus, you will most likely find that the skin will pucker, exposing ridges of more skin with more nerve endings. Even if this does not happen, just touching the outside area is enough to intensify the sensations she is experiencing and she is likely to accept what you are doing from this non-invasive stimulation.
At some point in the future if you want to continue this form of caress and kick it up a notch, then apply pressure to your well lubricated finger and go inside up to the first or second knuckle and stroke and wiggle it alongside the spincters. There is no need to go deeper inside than this. Like the outside, the spincter muscles are also very sensitive and will react in a positive and supportive roll to other forms of caresses.
Please read this Sticky post:
"Playing Ball" and How To Tips for Prostate Massage
This is also an excellent tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal play.
Has your wife explained her aversion or apprehension to this form of sexual play? It is quite normal and perhaps she just needs some more information on the topic in order to be comfortable with it.
Anal sex hurts. ok? Got that?
Next!
There are other things , more friendly things, you can try.
Erotic massage with scented oils and body worship for example.
Seeing if you two can induce multiple orgasms in eachother for another.
Yes, men can have them too.
Just spending the entire evening together naked beneath your bathrobes, drinking, laughing, fooling around in between bouts of sex induced by doing the above suggestions.
there are a number of things that you can do to spice up your sex life with your wife.
a. Lingerie sex - buy her sexy lingerie and get her to wear them when
you both have sex. Sometime even just garters and
stockings can get a couple going
b. Outdoor sex - a beach or a secluded lagoon.
c. Impromptu sex - just anywhere at anytime.
I can understand you when you both have been together for 22 yrs and sex becomes a routine. Have some patience and slowly open her up. Anal is something you can try later when she has let herself go.
Ah, the expression "let herself go" is NOT one you want to use, buddy.
Often times, people wander into kink without having explored the finer levels of regular sex with their partners - even those of 20 plus years. Seems once they know what works, they stop learning and investigating; forgetting that people change over time. I do not recommend moving into kinky sex until both partners have fully and completely unbridled their passionate natures.
From the sounds of it, your wife has not yet done this. Does she ejaculate? Does she initiate sex? Is she aggressive with you periodically during sex? Does she have multiple orgasms? Does she induce multiple orgasms in you?
Do you have sex in bed, in the kitchen, on the sofa, in the shower and so on?
Often times, the smallest change has the greatest effect.
Do the body worship before attempting to move on.
No she hasn't done any of what you have mentioned EvilEvilkitten but we have done what McKay has said. Confused on what to do. Seems like she has lost interest in sex.
Maybe if you got her to use an anal toy on you to massage your prostate she would come around.
Here are some other things we enjoy.
I assume you do oral sex, but there are lots of variations.
Play with toys together.
Mutual masturbation.
Watch sex DVD'S while having sex.
Video your sex.
Fantasize.
Just have hot fun.
Well with toys etc, it always seems like a 'big deal' or a 'production' requiring dress-up and batteries.
You two do not need kink, you need to become reacquainted with eachother. So chase the kids out, sit on the sofa, drink some wine, and snuggle. Then begin kissing, nuzzling and move onto body worship - when she's hot - race her to the bed which should be a 'no clothing' zone.
I would try anything she would suggest. And yes I love oral sex. She loves me going down on her very much!
Body worship is essentially oral sex all over your partner's body.
Has been known to melt stone.
Great thing to do is to enjoy sex outdoors during the nice warm weather. My wife and I like to go out on our deck and have some great sex. It is nice to lay there and look at the city and then move into some sex. We have also had sex outdoors during the day in the daylight that is fun. The hard part is finding a good secluded place to enjoy this.
The first time I ever ejaculated in her mouth was during an outdoor session. I had given her oral sex and we had taken a slight break in the action and she went down on me. Being able to lay there on a blanket in the shade and watch her work on my c**k was so nice and she just hit the right rythem to make me cum. My only regret was that I didn't warn her and when it started to shoot out, it really surprised her and she didn't know what to do with it, so she just spit it out. Luckily we had water with us and she was able to take a drink and rinse her mouth.
anal does not hurt if you take it slow so its a nice change.
a little light bondage is quite pleasant, you can dom switch.
role play is always fun.
the sexy home invader gets me going, the vampire gets my fiance going.
silent sex is interesting && so is outdoors.
try it in the shower, nice and slippery.
or you can tease. that drives everyone insane.
restrict one partner and the other partner goes to town doing all they can to drive the person crazy but not letting them cum, then finally some mad crazy sex to let those hormones loose.
sensual massage is nice
and like kitten said toys are nice.
maybe you can try videotaping for later.
and food. just dont get sugar near the vagina.
hope this helps