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want to please my hubby by doing anal, but cant not take that pain

my husband and i have been together for more then 10 years he always please me in bed and i know he been wanted to try anal sex, he never push me to do it cuz he knows i never been into it , but latetly we been taking about it he tryes to fingere but i eather move away or change positions..so that other nite i deside to be brave and jump into it....Bad idea everything was going great until i bend over and pretty much just waited for that pain to pleasure like i think i should,.he got very exited n started to stick it in...and OMG it was one of that pain full feeling ever.i scream so hard and pull away almost crying and embarrased at the same time..he was so sweet and just comfort me..i don't want to gave up..i really want to do it to please him i know how much he want to..but im a chicken when it comes dawn to it..i really would love to get any tips,ideas or whatever..

Dear Luna,
Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. I hope this reply comes in helpfull. Let me start by saying: you should always trust your body that whenever it hurts, it is not ok. And when you're doing it right, it doesn't hurt! :)

What I noticed from your post is that you were expecting "that pain to pleasure" and that you'd like to try anal sex because of him. This strikes me as important, because anal penetration (even the smallest object) is very dependent on the receivers mind and body. Here is why: There are two sphincters; one you can consciously control, the other not. So you need to consciously and subconsciously release tension to be able to receive anal penetration. When your mind is expecting pain, it is more likely you tense up and experience that. When your body isn't extremely pleased and aroused, anal stimulation is too much and it will tighten up again.
So your body and mind need to want it 100%. It is for you, just for you! It isn't enough to want to do it for him. It is your body, your choice!

Meaning that if you really WANT it: you first need to be very aroused by the petting, necking, kissing, caressing, fingering (clit/vagina), etc. Then pay attention to the outer anal part by caressing, licking. Going inside; anal fingering, perhaps even a toy. And only after you've penetrated with at least a finger and/or (small) toy, you may think about putting him inside. Take it (very!) slow and listen to your body carefully. And you may like to stimulate your clit throughout anal stimulation and intercourse. So don't be shy to use those fingers. Really; take your sweet time to get accustomed to it. In the beginning you may only want outer stimulation of the anus. And you may take as long as you'd like. It could take months before you're ready for anal sex. And maybe you then decide you don't want that at all. Let your senses guide you!

I wish you a pleasurable experience. The more prepared the two of you are, the most likely this will be. So I recommend you two to read:

-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/news/29466-ultimate-guide-anal-sex-women... This book gives you everything you need to know for your first experience (and how to make it a happy one! :))

-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-him/19950-playing-ball-how-tips... tutorial for people interested in and concerned about the how-to of Anal stimulation as well as play (not just for men)
- http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/29462-second-time-having-sex.htm... a specific post with advice on anal penetration
-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/sex-toys-products/28800-dildos-human-anu... on the risk of anal penetration
-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing-him/11220-anal-101-a-25.html with pages of opinions, tips, etc, etc....
-http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/other-sex-topics/29492-help-please.html a little on orgasms through anal stimulation
-At any time; look through the index, it contains a lot of good articles!

...or, do not do it. We each have limits and perhaps that is yours. Though I enjoy anal play, no penis is ever going in there.

I'd reco having a few glasses of wine to relax you beforehand. Make sure he eases it in slowly, and maybe starts with a smaller toy or butt plug if he is very large. Once he mounts you, have him stop for a few seconds once he is all the way inserted to allow your ass to get used to it. Good luck!

u defo need to take it slow..defo cant just ram it in like my BF did the first time . u need to train your body to take something that size...so using toys or even fingering , can help alot

STOP

If you can't - then DON'T!!! I don't.

Yes, I know you want to please your husband but that does not mean you have to do absolutely anything/everything.

What would REALLY please your husband (whether he knows it or not) is if you went totally unbridled and, glowing like a goddess, you permitted him to catch a glimpse of the essential YOU during a sexual encounter. Open up and not merely tell him what you want but TAKE from him what you want - he's a big boy, he can handle it - stop hiding, stop appeasing - instead of that, fire up all of your engines and afterburners and just let your full 'inner Hellcat' come roaring out! Go for GLORY!

Nothing thrills a man more than being in a woman's "danger".
For most men, catching that glimpse of HER is all they live for.

I've been married to the same man for more than 30 years and he still hasn't had 'enough'.

I'm trying to get my girl to do this and she wont let me so I just continue to eat her ass and finger it as good for now i quess. let him eat your ass

[COLOR="Magenta">Alrighty...Personally I really enjoy anal. It wasn't always that way though! I have learned that as long as I have cliteral stimulation (like a vibrator, or my fingers) as he enters, it feels FANTASTIC. When I cum from anal, it is always more intense. Because I'm not on birthcontrol and he doesn't always like to pull out to cum, cumming in my ass is a great alternative! So, I suggest using a vibrator on your clit as he SLOWLY (using lube) inserts:) Good luck![/COLOR]

Rather like learning to enjoy having your teeth pulled.

hottforhim,

Please be advised that anal sex does not protect you from pregnancy. The rectal tissue does not absorb the semen as does your vagina resulting in greater drainage. That is only a very few centimetres from your vaginal entrance and sperm are powerful swimmers.

hi

:)[QUOTE=luna11;262063]my husband and i have been together for more then 10 years he always please me in bed and i know he been wanted to try anal sex, he never push me to do it cuz he knows i never been into it , but latetly we been taking about it he tryes to fingere but i eather move away or change positions..so that other nite i deside to be brave and jump into it....Bad idea everything was going great until i bend over and pretty much just waited for that pain to pleasure like i think i should,.he got very exited n started to stick it in...and OMG it was one of that pain full feeling ever.i scream so hard and pull away almost crying and embarrased at the same time..he was so sweet and just comfort me..i don't want to gave up..i really want to do it to please him i know how much he want to..but im a chicken when it comes dawn to it..i really would love to get any tips,ideas or whatever..[/QUOTE] hi there my wife like you and at first she was in pain the best thing he can do is get u pleased so that he can do it slow and nice take ure time i mean slow and lots off lube hope this is ok :)