Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 yrs. and we havent had sex yet. Now he is ready to have sex with me, but im not. We are in a far distance relationship though, he moved to Long Island and I live in NJ. Now whever I tell him I dont want sex, he gets mad at me. Yesterday he tried to have sex with me, when I told him to stop he got mad and left. Also I am 16 yrs. old, I dont know what the problem is. I am a virgin, but he isnt. And he wants to experience sex in a relationship since he knows how it goes and he likes it, but im a virgin and I dont want to do it. What do I do!
Sat, 08/12/2006 - 18:59
#1
Want 2 Stay Virgin - Need Help
Okay, if he is going so far as too force you into sex when you've said you want to wait, maybe he isn't the best man out there for you..
I agree with jenna. He should understand and let you decide when you are ready. And all the power to you. I had sex before I was ready and I have regretted it ever since. Do what you think feels right don’t let him tell you what is best for you.
im a guy and if your not ready and told him,and he doesnt care about you not wanting to, then leave him. if you 'love' him then think about 'other' things you can do if your ready to do all but sex
there are other things besides sex and if he does not respect your decisions in any way as to waiting then he is not worth it. There will be another guy that will respect you for you and will understand completely about it.
While I fundamentally agree with what's been posted... a little more specific information may be in order, particularly if you are not ready to "dump" him.
You need to state very clearly that you have no intention of having sex with him. I'm sure you think you've done that, but he apparently continues to "try" so I would go one step further now. I would suggest you tell him that you have no intention of having sex with him and since he is demonstrating that he has no control over his emotions/anger, you are not comfortable being alone with him. (Being with him when he is angry is potentially dangerous so you should be cautious about it.)
That, by the way, is the problem. He is insisting he should get what he wants. He is acting like a child and you must treat him that way. If he wants to experience "sex in a relationship" he needs to learn what a relationship is about... including respect. Being a good sex partner is about more than having organs. It's about attitude, respect, caring... it's also about togetherness. What you are describing will have none of that.
You keep saying no, that's what you do.
wallyllama that was a very good and informative post.
ineed2getadvice from what has already been said now you should have some idea of what you could possibly do and try.
If you feel comfortable in letting us know what the outcome is then feel free to do so as someone else might be experiencing the exact same things.