Okay so here's the situation. Me and my girlfriend are both 20, and we are both total virgins in the sense that neither of us have ever had oral sex or intercourse before in our entire lives. We have been dating over 2 years and are in a monogamous relationship. She has given me many handjobs, and I have fingered her many times, so we have not done nothing. But now we're getting ready to move on to oral, but there's only one thing holding us back: disease.
My girlfriend is a bit over-cautious, because she worries a bit about STD's. Her main concern, for whatever reason, is Herpes. Again, we're both total virgins. So neither of us could have ever contracted an STD. However, she has said she's heard that you can either be born with Herpes or you can, in rare cases, get it in another way. So, she wants us to both get tested before we partake in oral sex.
However, neither of us have ever had any symptoms even resembling herpes. Neither of us have ever experienced cold sores, only the occasional canker sore (doesn't everyone?). I've done some research online, but it seems herpes tests are only done on people experiencing symptoms, and a blood test seems unnecessary considering our lack of symptoms. So what should we do? Should I take my girlfriend's advice and get tested? Or is it unnecessary? And if I should, what kind of test should I have done?
im not certain off the top of my head that i person can be born with herpes but they can be born with other stds and they would know it. if you both are total virgins and never kissed someone with herpes or gotten a tattoo, piercing, drugs with needles, and not symptomatic then i would say it is safe to say you two are clean.
your gf is probably concerned about herpes mainly because it isn't curable. i think her concern is a little unwarranted but if she it will put her mind at ease because sex for the first time can be a little nerve racking itself then maybe you both should be tested if they if even would do it. someone asked a similar question so look at this and look at the link i post from the mayoclinic
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/birth-control-stds-sexual-disorders/3002...
and donating blood is a simple way to be tested. they would notify you if anything came up. hope this helps
[url=http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm]STD Facts - Genital Herpes
Visit this site and get some basics. Then, you two visit a local Planned Parenthood or Sexual Disease Clinic and spend some time with a counselor. There are many myths regarding herpes. There are many versions of the virus that cause herpes. There are over 100 different virus in the family and they do very different things.
If a child is born from a mother with herpes, it is possible to become infected passing through the vagina. There is no reason for either of you to be tested. There are many reasons to become educated. Do so.
So testing is unneccesary? I thought that all along but this seems to confirm it. I feel like we would know by now if we've ever had herpes, and theres zero evidence to suggest we ever have. I don't even know if we can be tested considering we have zero symptoms.
Just get the damned test. Nobody is going to tell you your not allowed to get tested because you show no signs. My uncle showed no signs of being HIV positive. (Although it was still fairly unheard of then)
You can show no signs for months. In fact that's usually why it gets spread.
The amount of time spent arguing with her could have been spent getting tested and then once results came back, you could have been getting your rocks off.
If my girlfriend told me that we could experiment with oral once I get tested, then guess what! My butt would be sitting in my doctors office the next day requesting a referall for an STD panel...hell id probably get tested for any infectious disease that could be spread and Id probably make an appointment to my dentist for a teeth cleaning.
Plus there is a nasty habbit of people lying in this world. You could have given her a little white lie maybe you already have gotten a "sample". I've heard of guys pulling the virgin lines in hopes of getting some. Trust me some people go to absurd lengths to get a girls virginity.
The moral of my post. YES you need to get the test just because your so determined not to take it for some reason.
[QUOTE=Ducy;267833]If my girlfriend told me that we could experiment with oral once I get tested, then guess what! My butt would be sitting in my doctors office the next day requesting a referall for an STD panel...[/QUOTE]
Yep that's exactly what my bf did! :)
Admittedly, I didn't take a test and he never asked me to. Given my zero sexual experience before him, we considered it unnecessary.
Posing such questions as you did in this thread, is a very good thing to do, as it will help you gain knowledge. Do continue to get yourself informed and educated, also through means such as Brandye advices. Knowledge is empowering!
[QUOTE=RedRoses;267834]Yep that's exactly what my bf did! :)
Admittedly, I didn't take a test and he never asked me to. Given my zero sexual experience before him, we considered it unnecessary.
Posing such questions as you did in this thread, is a very good thing to do, as it will help you gain knowledge. Do continue to get yourself informed and educated, also through means such as Brandye advices. Knowledge is empowering![/QUOTE]
Well that's the thing. We both have zero experience so I'm wondering if it's unnecessary.
To the poster above RedRoses, I do consider it a bit insulting to even have it suggested I'd be telling a little "white lie." I think this would qualify as something more than just a white lie, and having dated my gf for over 2 years, I would never lie to her like that.
And, I'm not tying to avoid getting tested, I'm just trying to see if it's necessary. Being only 20, and not really wanting my parents in on my love life, it's not exactly convenient for me to get tested. I can undoubtedly find my way to a testing clinic, I'm simply inquiring as to whether it's necessary or not.
And it's also not as if I've been putting this off. She only informed me yesterday she was interested in herpes testing.
Take my post as insulting as you want. Your line of questioning seems a little odd. Its like rather than respect your wishes you are trying to build a case against getting tested. Kudos for wanting to know. Many people nowadays don't understand it all. They're given the simple "No sex if you wanna be clean" line.
As far as me "suggesting you lied". There is something I've learned on these boards. 90% of people try to change or twist the story a bit. Men who are horny tend to make decisions that they wouldn't normally do (like hook up with an ex etc). You should also realize this from her standpoint.
She is a virgin. She is going to try something new. There is an infintismally small chance she could catch something. She hears horror stories from friends. On the news. Through the abstinence campaigns. She is worried and insists on getting tested. Why not just entertain her idea. Its a green light for a new sexual experience. Or you can just buy some flavored condoms and dental damns and see if that will ease her fear.
I will entertain her request, I just wanted some insight from this board first. I would never not have an important test done because it is inconvenient, that line of thinking is highly illogical. I was just here to gauge if this is even something i should exert further effort looking into to. If people think I should go ahead and get tested, I will look into it. I guess I was asking more on the chance that I got 5 educated replies telling me "are you crazy, there's no way you need to get tested." But since the consensus so far seems to be split at best, I will go for it.
Why is this such a big deal for you? I agree with Ducy, especially if I was your girlfriend I would be wondering what you are trying to hide (not saying you are).Moving to the next step can be very scary. You should get a test done to put her mind at ease, so she knows she can trust you, that you respect her wishes, and so she can enjoy the experience without worrying. Grow up, quit whining about a test and enjoy new experiences with your girlfriend.
[QUOTE=epicsexy;267839]Why is this such a big deal for you? I agree with Ducy, especially if I was your girlfriend I would be wondering what you are trying to hide (not saying you are).Moving to the next step can be very scary. You should get a test done to put her mind at ease, so she knows she can trust you, that you respect her wishes, and so she can enjoy the experience without worrying. Grow up, quit whining about a test and enjoy new experiences with your girlfriend.[/QUOTE]
Again, I don't appreciate the digs at me. If you knew anything about me you'd know I'm the last person my age who needs to "grow up". Whether you believe me or not, the fact that I'm even willing to get a test done seperates me from most guys my age (at least in my experience). I don't recall "whining" about getting tested, I was simply looking for a medical explanation on whether it was necessary or not. As I said in my previous post, now that there's a consensus I should, I will. I'm sorry I just don't appreciate uncalled for jabs when I'm just asking honest questions.
I'm glad your getting the test, you are more responsible them most.
[QUOTE=epicsexy;267842]I'm glad your getting the test, you are more responsible them most.[/QUOTE]
Thank you very much :)
There aren't jabs being thrown. There are different ways of looking at things. That is the beauty of these boards. You ask a question and get everything from the wonderful sugar coated reply to the nitty gritty hurts to hear it. You have gotten resident md opinions, and then the opinions of others. We aresimply trying to show you that your activity seems odd. Mostly the fact that your told the test would be unnecessary and then you reply with the same line of questioning.
We get a lot of kids here who think they know it all or complain so you gotta understand that we deal with immaturity daily (especially as of late)
[QUOTE=Ducy;267845]There aren't jabs being thrown. There are different ways of looking at things. That is the beauty of these boards. You ask a question and get everything from the wonderful sugar coated reply to the nitty gritty hurts to hear it. You have gotten resident md opinions, and then the opinions of others. We aresimply trying to show you that your activity seems odd. Mostly the fact that your told the test would be unnecessary and then you reply with the same line of questioning.
We get a lot of kids here who think they know it all or complain so you gotta understand that we deal with immaturity daily (especially as of late)[/QUOTE]
I understand. Kids really are stupid these days I agree:rolleyes:
I appreciate the advice and I will pursue this test.
But y'all did miss about the "occasional canker sore".
These are ulcers in the mouth.
These come in several severities, the worst being: Herpetiform ulcerations.
Any bells ringing yet?
Get the test.