Whoever wants to perform oral first can. There's not exactly a rule to follow. It's more of a mood thing.

And when giving a bj and wanting to have sex, I wouldn't let him come unless you know that he can get it up soon after. I just give him one enough to get him hard, then we go into sex.

And I don't use anything for a blowjob. Granted, he's uncircumcised, but I wouldn't use it regardless. That's what the saliva in your mouth is for.

And to not let it go down your throat, you just don't simply swallow. It's not exactly going to run down on it's own. You have to swallow it just like anything else if you want it to go. And yes, it can make you gag.... swallowing or not. The taste is not all that great sometimes. And the actual coming into your mouth only lasts a few seconds.

> i am clueless when it comes to everything about sex and just fooling around. Mostly like, the sequence of it.

Not to worry, even if "big brother or sister" taught us all s/he knew, there is still a certain amount of learning and discovery that we must do. There are two fundamental rules:

The following has been worded as if talking to a guy.

R#1: Begin kissing and caressing above the shoulders and proceed until she stops you. This is her boundary or limit. Stroke her hair, the nape of the neck, shoulders, cheeks; brush a finger over her lips, ears/lobes, eyebrows, arms, hands, fingers, etc., and follow suit with kisses. Caresses should be inclusive, meaning that as you move on, you should continue to revisit previous areas.

As her comfort zone enlarges, so too will her level of intimacy and how far she will go. As things progress over time, you can caress her upper body outside her clothes. A big mistake novice guys make is to assume that just because they are horny and will get naked and stuff, so too will the girl. Not necessarily so. She sets the limits, you can test the extent of the limit. She extends the limits, etc. Respect her boundary and work within the limits she sets or resets.

R#2: Don't rush or be in a big hurry. Spend a half hour minimum just fooling around and building her (and your) level of arousal. Girls require much more prep time than do guys. You may find that it will take several months before she is ready for foreplay leading to hand jobs and/or oral stimulation. Regardless of her timetable, enjoy the journey.

As intimacy increases, and she lets you explore and caress her directly, do so by first unfastening her top, although not removing it at first. The same with the bra; explore through it, then unfasten it, then remove it, all in due course.

Reserve breast and genital play until she is very highly aroused.

> Should the guy perform oral first or should the girl?

Whatever works. If you are a novice and she is, then probably you will want to try and initiate fingering her and after she becomes comfortable with this, then trying for oral. I believe you should discuss the matter beforehand.

Perhaps a better plan is to see if she will let you expose yourself, first, and then let you put her hand on your penis and stroke it. The two of you need to stroke and finger each other a lot, first, before advancing to oral stimulation. If she is bold and decides to take matters into her own hands, so to speak, then she will lead off.

> I heard that guys often just don't have the energy afterwards, so normally a guy should perform first?

Gosh, this sounds as if a guy gets all worked up into a lather, shoots his load, then collapses as if spent and therefore the woman is left hanging........ WRONG.

Men as well as women can both enjoy a string of multiple orgasms, one after the other. The thing is, women are usually good to go a few moments/minutes after the previous one, whereas it takes a man perhaps 15-30 minutes before he can have the next orgasm. Also, women can enjoy many more than a man who is limited to perhaps three or maybe four if very young. That said, and because most young guys suffer from Premature Ejaculation, some couples will get the guy off, first, before intercourse. Regardless, there is nothing in the rule book that says one or both of you can't have an orgasm before intercourse. Now, it is true that after an orgasm, guys often feel sleepy because of a certain chemical being released by the brain, but this is different than having no energy.

> And also, if you're planning on having sex, and you give him a blowjob, is he suppose to cum?

Guys can and do climax from just oral stimulation; however, most of us most of the time require a combination of oral and a hand job to take us over the top and past the point of no return.

> Because if he does then isn't there a chance he couldn't get it back up for sex?

Asked and answered, above.

> So if you give a blowjob but you want to have sex do you just stop after a couple minutes? I don't get it.

Yes or no. Whatever works. If she wants to tease you, then she may build you up and stop, reverting back to other forms of stimulation. It's all in how you want to play the game.

> And when giving a blowjob would you still use lube or lotion for what you do with your hands?

It all depends upon how she chooses to stroke the shaft. If she wants to grip it firmly and move the skin up and down with each stroke, then no lube is required. If she opts to graze over the shaft gently sliding over the skin, then a lube is necessary.

> what if you got some all in your mouth?

Salad oils, hand lotion, or commercial preparations are non-toxic. They may not taste great, but they are not harmful. Natural fluids and lubes all have an aquired taste.

> And as for if he does cum in your mouth, how do you stop it from going right down your throat?

She can raise the tip of her tongue placing it against the roof of her mouth. When a guy ejaculates, the semen will squirt against the bottom surface. As for how to stop it from going down your throat, think about it. What do you do to hold a mouth full of water? Right. You close off your throat.

> Would it be easy to gag on it, whether you spit or swallow?

Yes, if the semen is permitted to fly against the back of the mouth hitting the uvula or running down the throat. (Whether to spit or swallow is always your choice for which the guy has to honor.)

> How long would it be going into your mouth for, how much is there?

By the time you are ready for oral sex, you will have caused him to have plenty of orgasms by hand, first. The amount and timespan vary but usually about two teaspoonsful over a span of perhaps fifteen-twenty seconds. Because of the force at which it exits the penis or enters your mouth, it seems as if there is more fluid than there really is. Once you have seen him orgasm once or twice by hand you will have your answers.

I hope this is of help. Nice questions. Got more?

one thing to try to make a female very wet
the guy sitting on his feet and legs at a rough 45 degree angle
the female sits on the guy, close and has her vagina (pussy) leaning on his cock or as much skin to skin down there
the guy puts his hand down in between him and her then plays with her clit
the female should get very wet from doing that and kissing
i have done it on a girl i was seeing and it worked on her very time
they are so aroused after that and wanting to be played with more like being fingered or the real thing in there

Find, read, and follow the sticky post entitled The Program.
All you need to know in one place in a format men will easily remember.

[QUOTE=n_s10;137951]
Should the guy perform oral first or should the girl? I heard that guys often just don't have the energy afterwards, so normally a guy should perform first? [/QUOTE]

Either can perform oral first or neither or you can do a 69. There are no rules

[/QUOTE]And also, if you're planning on having sex, and you give him a blowjob, is he suppose to cum? Because if he does then isn't there a chance he couldn't get it back up for sex? So if you give a blowjob but you want to have sex do you just stop after a couple minutes? I don't get it. [/QUOTE]

This is just my terminology- when fellatio is only foreplay and does not lead to orgasm I call it "head" and when it leads to orgasm I call it a "blowjob." No one is ever under ANY obligation to experience an orgasm from any activity. Whether the goal is for him is to reach orgasm or simply become aroused is between the two of you.
Some men do not like a lot of oral/genital as foreplay if they are planning to participate in genital/genital sex because in some cases it means they have to try harder to last longer during coitus.
On the other hand- as is currently being discussed in another thread many younger men do not loose their erections after the first orgasm or have a quick recovery time.
I have found myself in both the above mentioned scenarios. Again it is between the two of you.

[/QUOTE]And when giving a blowjob would you still use lube or lotion for what you do with your hands? what if you got some all in your mouth?
And as for if he does cum in your mouth, how do you stop it from going right down your throat? Would it be easy to gag on it, whether you spit or swallow? How long would it be going into your mouth for, how much is there?[/QUOTE]

Again there are differences of opinion. I am of the faction that says no hands during oral sex. If I want hands I'll ask for a hand job. There are other guys who also want hands incuded-I call it the Cosmo BJ.
They do make lubes that are safe for human consumption, in several flavors. I actually tasted some a couple years ago at a sex expo.
You might want to negotiate whether he ejaculates in your mouth. Some people will advise that you use a condom for oral sex- in which case it doesn't (hopefully) matter.
Personally I don't really care whether my semen is swallowed. I have been grossly offended by it being spit out. If you don't want to swallow, either pull him out of your mouth and stimulate the underside of his penis with your tongue while milking his balls or let it dribble out the side of your mouth. Drool it onto his stomach then write your name with it. Give him a kiss-pass some into his mouth. Discreetly go to the bathroom and rinse your mouth.
Seeing and hearing you spit causes a tremendous sense of rejection.

I don't know what the official stats on ejaculation are but would say he is going to spurt for 10 30 seconds. If it does go right down your throat as you fear you won't taste or notice because there are no taste buds there.
I have never actually met someone who could or would put a penis that far into her mouth- only on video.

Don't worry. Just be honest with each other and try to have a good time.