(forgive all the details but I have to explain the situation to get to the question)
I'm 22 and still a virgin. The guy in my life is 23 and we met online through a dating website and we've been talking since November. We have a long distance relationship right now because I'm in my last semester of school. We have met one time in person back in January. We consider ourselves to be 'unoffically official' because we both feel that we can't handle a titled long distance relationship. I know he's not seeing anyone else, and he knows that I'm not seeing anyone else.He knew that I was a virgin and had never done anything, including kissing. He was super sweet and knew that I was nervous but all he did was tell me to relax to which my reply was I'm trying to lol. He kissed me and it was the sweetest thing ever. Well that kiss turned into a full on make-out session and hands started roaming. With my permission his hands ended up down my shirt but that's as far as we went and it was a good night. Well since then we can only chat on a messenger with webcams and pictures. We've both stepped up our game and started showing each other our 'parts'. I find myself really missing him and wanting him all at the same time and he feels the same. A few weeks ago he said that he loved me and I said it back to him (both of us also saying that we meant it and weren't just saying it to say it). I'm graduating in a month and then moving back home to where he is, we're both super excited about this. I am also finding that I'm kinda nervous. I know what I want to do but I don't know if it's the right time, I guess? I fully believe that he is 'the one' but I don't know if I'm 'the one' for him. Everytime we talk and see each other over the webcams I find myself really turned on and wanting him. Like I don't want to get down there and have him expecting something that I think I'm ready to give but then doing it in person I migth tense up...I've never 'went down' on him but I want to and We've never ha sex but I want to.
I guess I just wanted some advice on the situation and see if it's normal to be this nervous about this?
being nervous is normal
but from what ive read around here, the first time can be awkward and not too good
so don't expect to be blown out of this world on your first few times
plus, id reccomend waiting a while before actual sex
try oral for a while first and get comfortable naked around each other
take
it
slow
At the age of 22, your body is certainly ready. Having had one "session" with him. You only think your mind is ready. Your next step should be a complete gyn exam which is appropriate whether or not the two of you get it on. The next step could be with the doctor or Planned Parenthood or a Female Health clinic. What are your choices for protection and when and how should that be started.
Now. to what you are asking about: Are you nuts? You have met him once, you were all over one another and it has left wondering what comes next. All quite natural but your post sounds like you are ready to start planning a wedding. Get to know him. A little sex along the way would be good for both of you but building a future amounts to more than getting felt up and wanting get him with his pants off. Yours, too.
How about a few dates to movies or dinner or events with a few kisses and much talking. You have overstepped th bounds of general decency showing your parts online. Who know who was watching. That certainly has built up his expectations, perhaps beyond what is appropriate. You have some cooling down to do before heating this relationship up.
i second what brandye said
Fully agree with Brandye. Your accepted wisdom is great. I do welcome your treasured thought. I am enchanted to know your valued intelligence. Well thanks once again for giving out this hearsay. It will be very constructive in regular part of life.
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about--like yours. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.
I recommend that the two of you read every one of the articles, then discuss what each of you has learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering.
There are articles on the following:
* SUGGESTIONS FOR DATING
* A COUPLES GUIDE TO MAKING OUT
* SEX e.g. INTERCOURSE
+ many other worthwhile papers.
Please bring your boyfriend on board and work together learning as much as possible. Right now, neither of you knows what you do not know.
As others have mentioned, please slow down and do not be in such a rush. Enjoy the flowers along the path to the destination. Do not be in a rush to jump his bones or let him have his way with you. When you are able to see each other regularly, then play the game like it is supposed to be played and date (each other and others), spend a few months making out at each level of intimacy and do not be in such a hurry to have intercourse. When you are ready, make certain you are also prepared. Please read the articles that discuss all this.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
Brandye said it PERFECTLY.
Even if he is the one, don't through all caution to the wind and just give in to lust (because lust is what it sounds like). I seriously think you should see him in person more before you go ahead... I say this because I have been in a long-distance relationship (we started dating and he shortly moved to the complete opposite end of the country), and well.. I know what it's like, and I felt some of the same things you are feeling too.
If he is the one, he will be worth waiting for, for the right time. :) Just cool down, take things more slowly. Get to know him IN PERSON better (online chat is great, but it is no substitute for face-to-face discourse when it comes to a budding romantic relationship. I know this from experience).
Thank you all for you advice. It has given me A LOT to think about. I'm leaning more towards the waiting part, because of recent events things have started to cool down a lot and I think that everyones advice has helped me out so much.
Thanks again.