*IGNORE THE TITLE* I wasn't thinking... haha
Sorry for the length.
First off, I take much pride in being with my girlfriend. She has had about 5 boyfriends before me, and none of them lasted more than two months. I know I sound cocky, but I just feel so good that I've been able have a stable relationship with her for over 1 year. She always got bored of others; I think I've done a pretty good job :)
Girlfriend of 1.5 yrs is going off to college soon. She has two choices, a excellent college (almost guaranteed to give her a good job + high pay afterwards) and a pretty good college (not as much pay as the other college). However, the "excellent" college is directed in similiar majors as a whole (math), whereas the "decent" college is open to almost everything.
Our pickle is the following:
Her word has been hard to take seriously and I've told her in the past she needs follow through with what she says. When she has assured me she is going to the "excellent" college, I was like "Okay." At the last moment, she decided maybe she should go to the "decent" college. This to me was practically the last straw for being indecisive. I know it sounds like I'm controlling, but I gave her the ultimatum of the following: Follow through with her statements, so that I can take her word seriously. Or, continue breaking words that she has told me, eventually leading to where I can't believe a thing she says when it comes to doing things (ultimately, leading to a break-up since I cannot deal with that). I figure if she can start following up with her word now, it will be the first stepping stone to building a trustworthy word. Basically, it's either she sticks to her words, or I can't be with her anymore.
The school she chose to begin with is close, really close. The school she is thinking about going to is a hour away (not too bad). I wouldn't care if she went to either school had she kept to her word, so keep that in mind. The "decent" school is more geared for her because she doesn't know exactly what she wants to major in, but the "excellent school" has better credentials. She could easily transfer out of the "excellent" school into a "decent" or a "good" one. Whereas the "decent" school, she'd have a much more difficult time transferring back into the excellent school. I told her to pick a school without me in the picture, and ultimately she chose to stick to her word, and be with me (meaning she ignored my advice--but who am I to argue :)). Afterwards, she said, "Just so you know. I do not like this school. I plan on transferring out in 2 yrs to a different one." Which is fine with me. Although that makes me feel like crap since she is doing it just so I can trust her word.
All in all, I feel like the bad guy, yet I know if it was the other way around, I'd be breaking up with her. Almost did during our talk (1 week ago). I feel like she should go to the school more fit to her, but then she refuses. Saying she'll go to this great school and transfer out to a better one more geared towards her major in 1 or 2 years. I've sacrificed a lot for our relationship, but this beats all mine plus more. I woulda done it without a thought, but I am not in her position.
We've been in love for a long time now, and we're each other's first love. We have also never slept with anyone else, ever.. meaning we took each other's virginity. :p We both see it going somewhere, although we know of our hard times ahead, and that odds are against us.
1. What would you do?
2. Am I controlling her future?
3. Am I the bad guy?
4. Is our attachment due to first love a problem?
5. If anything needs to be improved on my part (didn't detail anything), what should I do? More gestures, etc?
6. Is this a bad ultimatum?
7. Should she go to the "decent" school and be SURE of her options?
8. Should she go to the "excellent" school and have the ease of transferring into another "excellent" school?