Rite, some background aout me first- I guess you could call me a 20 year old virgin. Im not however a stranger with the opposite sex- Ive had many sexual experiences, I guess u cud call me a serial disappointer!
These include not getting up, not keeping it up, not getting it in(!). It happens every time, i must hold some sort of record, and i know the remedy wud be to find the rite person and talk about it and stuff but its really too late for that-Im 20!
Anyway, Im going on a date in a weeks time with this really hot girl who ive already disappointed (i made up a good excuse tho)-that was the first time i met her. This will be the second, and there is no doubt what our date will lead to. We live MILES apart, so there is no chance of a relationship- basically Im asking for advice on how to do this night right, seriously-please without any answers like talk to her about it or dont go through with it.I need to beat this paranoia once and for all- how do i do it?
Sun, 11/20/2005 - 02:10
#1
Urgent-can sumone help me
Yes, you need to beat this paranoia and only you can do it. But you are probably going to need help either in the form of a very suppostive partner or a therapist or both. Each time you fail, it makes it more likely that you will fail next time as what you have labelled paranoia (I would call it anxiety) rises. At some point, this cycle becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and any chance of a normal sex life will have disappeared.
We women, when at your age, saw men as having no performance issues because you are always "up" and ready to go. I certainly thought that and was surprised a time or two when nothing really happened. One time I went down on him; it worked and he was very grateful. Other times, I just walked away. I do not know what damage that may have caused.
You are asking for advice on how to do the night right. There is no answer for that. You want to get laid one time or do you want to resolve what could become a serious psychological proble. If you truly think that things are advancing so rapidly that you will score on this second date, she has to be warned that you sometimes do not make it. Forewarned, she may be willing to go to great lengths to help. Not warned, there is every likelihood that you will each have a disappointing date.